John's Blog

RIP Mitzu

2008-05-26T11:50:00.000-05:00

I got a call shortly after I woke up this morning about one of our cats back home. Apparently she had died this morning after having a seizure. My sister, unfortunately, had watched it all.

I'm just kind of in shock right now. But at least Mitzu isn't suffering anymore. I know her health wasn't exactly the greatest lately, being around 12 years old and all. Plus, I think Persians come with their own health issues compared to other breeds. But still, it's very sad.

So, here's to Mitzu. At least she's in peace now.

I am such a slacker!

2008-05-09T22:40:00.000-05:00

With this blog anyway. My life, however, is filling up quite nicely.

I had a yen back when I was in Pennsylvania to act in a play, but I couldn't bring myself to try out there. Plus, the only amateur theater seemed to be NRT, which was good, but since I wasn't a student when I wanted to act, I didn't feel right auditioning.

So, fast forward to a couple weeks ago, when I finally worked up the nerve to go to an audition. I'd been keeping track of auditions on madstage.com, but with my luck, all the plays that sounded interesting from the brief synopsis ended up being too far a drive away to even think about auditioning for. Until recently, that is. I decided to try my hand at auditioning for a series of short plays put on by Stage Q here in Madison. That's the city's gay theater. (Yes, for those that read this and didn't know or hadn't figured it out, I'm gay.) So, I auditioned and waited to hear back. Unfortunately I didn't get a part, but I am going to be able to be an assistant stage manager for the plays. I'm quite content with that, because that way I can see what goes on behind the scenes and perhaps learn a little bit. Plus, I've been meaning to get involved in something other than work and sleep while I'm here. So, yay for me!

However, this isn't going to prevent me from auditioning for other stuff. I want to get up on stage dammit. I know, I don't seem like the type that wants a lot of attention, but sometimes I can be a real attention whore. Plus, I've often felt like I wanted to step into a character's shoes for a while, just to see if I could breathe life into someone else.

Luckily, I know I'll be having another chance at auditioning near the end of the month or early next month. Some coworkers have decided to start a theater group, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to join. I don't know what the first play we're putting on is yet, though. They haven't determined it. It should be interesting, though.

So, that's my life in a nutshell. I'm just happy to be getting out and involved in something. Hopefully this will lead to many, many good things in my life.

Look at me being all optimistic. I'm not used to that. :)

I have no other news, though. Work is still going well, although I'm starting to feel the drag of not having tons of vacations anymore. That's the one thing I miss about being a student. There were always days off here and there. Not in the workforce, though. I really should use one or two of my vacation days. I'm trying to save enough so that I can hopefully take the days between Christmas and New Year's off. That's my goal anyway. But a day off here and there to just relax and sleep and not worry about going to work sounds wonderful, too.

And on that note, I'm off. It's about time I go to bed, I think. Good night, all of you out there in the blogosphere!

I'm published!!!

2008-03-30T21:47:00.000-05:00

I forgot to mention this in my earlier post, but it deserves its own post on merit alone.

I just recently got the reprints for an article I worked on while I was at Penn State. I'm actually published!!! That's very exciting for me. I'm so happy that something I did at Penn State is part of the wider scientific community. Plus it's stuff I actually felt proud of, unlike my master's work. So yay me!

That is all. Just a short post to celebrate. :)

More rantings on Mother Nature

2008-03-30T11:19:00.000-05:00

Well, the last time I bitched about Mother Nature, the forecast change to be less than an inch of snow, and we only ended up with very little, none of which actually stuck on the ground. Let's see if my powers work again.

Apparently starting tonight through Tuesday, we're supposed to get a ton of rain. OK, maybe not a ton. It definitely won't be enough to need to contemplate building an ark or anything. It's supposed to rain somewhere in the range of two inches. Ugh. Considering that there is already some flooding going on (but luckily nowhere near me), this does not bode well.

I am not looking forward to having to drive in the rain. But it could be worse. If this were supposed to be snow, we'd get blanketed. So, I guess there is a silver lining to this big-ass cloud.

Mother Nature is a cold-hearted bitch

2008-03-25T21:45:00.000-05:00

I'm telling you, this winter is going to be the longest one in recent memory. Actually, not just winter, but the first part of spring, too. Apparently we're under a winter storm watch for Thursday. I just looked at the forecast, and they're predicting 4-8 inches of snow again. It really sucks because before spring started, we had a nice stretch of not-so-wintry weather. But now that spring has started? Two largish snowstorms in just under a week.

I'm telling you. Mother Nature is definitely a cold-hearted bitch.

Wisconsin news

2008-03-24T22:56:00.000-05:00

Two quick things before I go to bed.

1. Several weeks ago, Madison broke the record for seasonal snowfall. This weekend we apparently made it over 100 inches of snow this season. I definitely don't think that record is going to get shattered any time soon.

2. Johnny Depp is in Wisconsin!!!!! He and Christian Bale (!!!) are filming a movie in Columbus, and will potentially film in Oshkosh. I so want to take some time to stake out the set and see if I can get a glimpse of a movie star here in my home state. I did happen to stop at a random gas station in Columbus last night on my way back here from home, but I didn't see either star. Not that I expected to at some random gas station. But that would have made a fantastic story.

That's all for now. I'm too tired to write much more. Night!

Sad Day for Green Bay Packer Fans

2008-03-06T08:57:00.000-06:00

I know I'm a little late in blogging about this. I can't help it that by the time I get home I really don't want to spend a lot more time in front of a computer.

Anyway, the news broke on Tuesday that Brett Favre is retiring. It is quite sad, but yet, like my mom said, it's better that he's walking off the field than being hauled off on a stretcher. Plus, it's his decision, and I can't blame him for hanging up his helmet now. He's given us many, many great seasons of football.

Now two questions remain. First, what will become of the Packers now? I think Aaron Rodgers can prove himself, but I fear that this may be another rebuilding season for the team.

Second, what will Brett do with his time? I'm hoping that he doesn't become a talking head on one of the varied pre-game shows. I'm actually thinking that he'll take up coaching. I can't see him completely separating himself from the game. He enjoys it way too much.

So now we wait. It'll only be a few more months before football starts really getting into gear, and we'll be able to see what happens post-Favre.

Politics, anniversaries, and other random stuff....

2008-02-20T21:56:00.000-06:00

So, as many of you know, the Wisconsin primary was on Tuesday (which was yesterday... huh, this has been an incredibly long day). I got up early to vote before work, because I wasn't exactly sure where the polling place was, and usually after work, I don't feel like making any unnecessary stops. Not that voting isn't necessary. It's just not something I'd want to do right after work.

Anyway, I was very happy to learn that Wisconsin is still using paper ballots with the same traditions as the last time I voted in Wisconsin. To make your vote, you connect the arrow head to the arrow tail to indicate who you're voting for. Really easy, really quick, and no having to worry about pregnant, hanging, or other chads. I was pretty surprised to see the number of people that turned out that early. When I stuck my ballot in the machine, I was number 303. Granted, there were four districts voting at my polling place, so that number is slightly artificially high. On average, within an hour and fifteen minutes of voting, about 75 people per district came in. That's not bad. I don't know if the rates kept up that high, though.

Needless to say, I'm pretty happy with the results. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded if Clinton won either, but Obama winning makes me just a tiny bit happier.

I was looking at some of the exit polls and the results by primary courtesy of cnn.com (the only source I use for news). I was shocked that 80% of the people that voted voted for the Democratic Primary. I guess Madison really is a liberal town. The exit polls were kind of fascinating, though. They broke down voters by age group, and only the group that was aged 60 or higher had the majority vote for Clinton. I'm not entirely surprised by this, since my mom told me that my grandpa was concerned about a black man being President. I think some of the older people probably (likely?) are still very prejudiced. I think analyzing the exit polls would be a fascinating sociological study.

Next up, anniversaries. I'm shocked to say that I've been working at my job for six months now. Actually 6.5 months at this point. My six month anniversary was on February 6. Time flies when you're busier than a one-legged man in a cow-kicking contest. But, it's also been a lot of fun and a lot of learning. I really do enjoy my job. I think I found the perfect fit for me. I still find it funny that after going to grad school for years studying meteorology and I end up working for a medical software company. Life takes some strange twists and turns.

I have my six month review on Friday. I'm not terribly worried about it. I think I'm doing a good job. At least I'm starting to feel comfortable with what software testing is, and what my application does. I still, by no means, know everything. But I do know a lot. And I actually feel like I know a lot, which is very unlike grad school, where I was learning lots of stuff but felt dumber by the minute.

Speaking of my job, I got an email at work that I'm slated for another trip! I'm going to the great state of Ohio in early May. Yes, this is the second go-live that I'm heading to Ohio for. I mean, I'm thrilled that I actually get to go on a trip again, but Ohio? I've been through that state so many times that it's pretty much lost any luster it had. I'm hoping that one of these times I can get a trip that goes somewhere I haven't been yet. I think there are some hospitals going live with our software in Oregon in the summer, which sounds fabulous. I'd love to go to the Pacific Northwest. But, beggars can't be choosers. Here's hoping that the trip I'm slated for actually lasts. I'd been signed up for others that have fallen through because they didn't need the support.

And now for the random stuff. Sunday was a wild weather day for us here in Madison. We got an inch of rain and then six inches of snow. Nasty, nasty weather. Luckily I didn't have to go out in it. Unfortunately, Madison doesn't seem to believe in taking care of roads in a timely manner, so there is still ice on the roads, even today. Granted, it's been way too cold for road salt to have any effect on the ice. But still. Madison does a sucky job at keeping their roads clean.

That weather, unfortunately, caused my patio door to develop a leak. So now I have an industrial dehumidifier and fan in my living room to try and dry out my carpeting. At least none of the water affected any of my furniture or other stuff. I was pretty lucky for that. It still sucks, though, because these machines are large, noisy, and pump out a lot of heat. I'd like them to magically disappear one day while I'm at work. No such luck yet.

The interesting thing is that this equipment is from Servpro. Whenever I look at them, I'm reminded of the Weather Channel ads. "Servpro. Like it never even happened." Heh.

And on that odd note, this entry comes to a close, mainly because I'm starting to fall asleep, and I don't want the end of my entry to be a bunch of gobbledygook because my head slammed on the keyboard.

My First Deadline

2008-01-30T22:18:00.000-06:00

I've successfully made it through my first release at work. Yay me! I actually feel like I'm finding my groove in my job, and I feel worthwhile and wanted and all the crap that I didn't feel when I was in grad school. I think that's what I love about my job the most. People actually value the work that I'm doing, and I don't constantly get told to redo something because my boss decided to change his mind at the last minute. I really like that about my job. Plus, I get paid a hell of a lot more than I did as a grad student. And I don't have to study as much for classes or anything. In fact, I pretty much just have to go in and do the work. It's kind of nice.

The only thing I miss about grad school and Penn State is the people. I have a hard time meeting people and getting to know them, so starting my life over in a new city is difficult. However, I think I'm doing pretty well. I mean, I don't exactly hang out with anyone except one person and her friends to watch Supernatural. I'm just kind of a loner by nature. I think once it gets nicer out, I'll explore Madison a bit and try to find some places to meet new people. I just don't know where those places are. Or where to meet decent, quality people. I have very high standards when it comes to people I hang out with.

Time will tell, I guess.

Boy, this post made a significant tangent off its original topic. Huh. The mind works in mysterious ways.

Anyway, congrats to me for making it through my first deadline without going completely insane. Tomorrow my team and the development team for my application are going to get bagels to celebrate the end of the release. Yum! It should be good times. I'm looking forward to not being under quite the amount of pressure that I currently am. Perhaps that will lessen the tension headaches I've been getting.

On a completely random note, I'd like to welcome a new reader of my blog. I think that bring the number of people that read this up to two. Woohoo! I'm expanding!

And on that rather odd note, I'm off to bed. Good night!

Now who do I root for?

2008-01-21T22:32:00.000-06:00

Alas, the Packers have not made it to the Super Bowl this year because the Giants were just a little bit luckier than them. I won't say better, because this game basically came down to luck. Well, that and the fact that the Packers gave the Giants a touchdown with four penalties. Yikes.

So, now I don't know who to root for. Part of me wants to root for the Giants because it would be interesting to see a team that's been perfect for the entire season completely lose it for the Super Bowl. But that's just because I'm a big old grump. However, since the Patriots have been perfect for the whole season, they might as well make it a clean sweep.

Perhaps I'll just root for no one and watch for the commercials, like I usually do.

Who are the rest of you rooting for? Just seeing what the pulse is out there in the blogosphere. :)

Big news!

2008-01-05T17:00:00.000-06:00

Two pieces of news to report to anyone that is still reading this and hasn't given up even though I post maybe once every two months lately.

First is about me. I've discovered I have sleep apnea. I'm now on a CPAP that forces air into my passageways to keep them from getting blocked when I sleep. I still don't know if it's helping. I actually feel like I'm sleeping worse than I did before I was on the CPAP, but I guess I need to give it time to work for me.

And let me tell you, the mask I have to wear on my face while I sleep is really attractive. Except not.

The second piece of big news is that my sister got engaged! I'm so happy for her. She's found a guy that treats her well and that she loves and that isn't an enormous dick like some of her exes were. I'm very excited for her. She's even letting me walk her down the aisle. I'm getting teary just thinking about it.

The wedding is being planned for summer 2009. I'll have to clear my calendar for it. And start losing weight so I look good in whatever I wear to walk her down the aisle.

Other than that, not much new from Wisconsin. I'm having a blast at my job, even though I'm not liking the getting up early to go to work thing. My new car is still running, which is good. And I can't believe that it's already 2008. Happy New Year, everyone!!

My new car

2007-10-31T21:26:00.000-05:00

This post is mainly for Karen, since she won't believe that I have a new car until she sees pictures of it. Now, I don't have a digital camera at all, and I don't think my camera phone would take a decent picture of it, so I had to troll online to find this picture.

I stole this picture off of Wikipedia. My car is a slightly lighter shade of blue, and doesn't have what looks to be a PA license plate on it. But this is my car, pretty much. I'm very happy with it. It's so much nicer than my old car, probably because it runs without sounding like I'm strangling a cat.

So, there, Karen. This is all for you. And anyone else that might be interested in seeing what my car looks like. :)

It's been a long while...

2007-10-15T22:49:00.000-05:00

Yup, I'm finally updating my blog. What can I say? My life has been busy of late, with starting a new job, finding a new place to live, getting used to a brand new city. Lots of changes in a very short time.

I really don't have a whole lot to say. I love my new job. I love living in Madison. I don't love the fact that my car has decided that it wants to die one of these days. I told it (because, yes, I do talk to inanimate objects - luckily they don't talk back) that it could die once I got a decent paying job. I just didn't expect it to take me quite so seriously.

So, I've been doing a bit of car shopping recently, and I'm hoping that some of my friends may have some input on cars for me. I'm looking at a couple different makes, namely Nissan, Hyundai, Kia, and Saturn. If any of you out there have any opinions, experience, or things you've heard about any of these models, feel free to pass it along. I can use all the help I can get. Other than that, not a whole lot else is new, except for the job. But considering that it's getting quite late, I don't feel like I have the time to go into great detail. I'll just say that it's been great, and I can't believe I've been at this job for 2.5 months already. Time flies when you actually enjoy your job.

Anyway, any comments from friends, or even random strangers, about cars would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! :)

Long Time, No Post

2007-05-07T13:24:00.000-05:00

Man, it's been a very long time since I've actually updated this thing. I'm bored at work right now, and I can't think of anything else to do since I'm waiting for my boss to tell me what he thinks on something I just made, so I figured I have enough news to post a new entry.

First of all, I think I'm going to discontinue my other Blogger blog on TV shows since the one on tvguide.com gets many, many more hits than the one here. Of course, if anyone has a reason why I should not discontinue it, feel free to let me know. I'll leave it open for a couple more weeks, just to see if I get any comments there.

Second, I'm going home next weekend! Unfortunately it's not for the best of circumstances. My mom is having surgery on her back to fix some bulging discs and hoping relieve a pinched nerve. Amazingly, it's only an outpatient procedure, but I still feel like I should be home to help her recovery. I'm only planning on being gone a week, but I'm being very flexible in when I actually come back.

Of course, if I had my way, I'd probably never come back. I'm so very tired of my job at the moment. I feel no fulfillment from it, and I basically feel like I'm killing time here until I get to leave for a different job.

It doesn't help that I'm not getting any good feedback from any of the teaching jobs I applied to. No one wants to hire me as a math instructor because the Midwest has very strict requirements for their math instructors. So, now I've put my resume on Monster and CareerBuilder, and will be looking at the job posting there in the near future, just so I can send out my resumes all over the place.

In fact, I'm so sick of my current job that I'm looking at any and every job that sounds even remotely interesting. Management, administrative assistant, teacher, researcher, whatever. The only things I'm ruling out are menial retail work (cashier, stockperson, etc.) and anything related to food service. Otherwise it's all fair game.

Beyond that, nothing is new with me. My life is pretty boring, I must say. But, that's ok for right now. I'd rather be able to do nothing than be so busy that I have no free time whatsoever.

Random Update

2007-03-13T12:14:00.001-05:00

Well, it's been over a month since I last posted, so I figured it was time to update this blog. I don't know why I'm so bad at updating this thing lately. I guess nothing of much importance has been happening in my life. Well, that and I blog nearly every day on TVGuide.com, so that takes up a lot of my writing time.

The only reason I'm updating right now is that I don't feel like doing work at the moment. Yeah, I know that's very shocking. ;)

I did hear back from two jobs I'd applied for. One called to make sure I was still interesting in the job and told me they'd be calling back in the middle of March (which is soon!) to possibly set up an interview. The other emailed me to tell me that I didn't make the interview cut. That one saddens me a little, but not too much, because that school was on the low end of places I wanted to live. It was in far western Minnesota, right on the MN/ND border, near Fargo. So, yeah, a bit too far away from home for me, but I needed to send my resume out to all sorts of places.

So, now I'm waiting to hear back about that other job, as well as to hear anything from any of the other schools. At this point, I really don't care what I hear (although if everyone rejects me, I'll be devastated), I just want to hear from them. I'm tired of playing the waiting game.

I guess that's it from me. Like I said, my life is pretty boring, so I really have nothing new to report. Hopefully I will soon, though. No promises or anything!

I Hate Valentine's Day and Other Musings

2007-02-12T20:31:00.000-06:00

I've been a slacker again with this blog. I never feel as if I have anything of importance to say anymore. Plus, I've been writing a lot on my other blog and my TVGuide.com blog, so writing here hasn't been as important. But, I guess it's time, yet again, to put some sort of update in this blog. Besides, I actually have the time to do it.

Apparently we're supposed to be getting a major winter storm here tomorrow into Wednesday. All I can say is it's about damn time. I'm looking forward to a good amount of snow. I've heard predictions up to a foot, which is pretty exciting. It reminds me of my first year here, where there were two snowstorms that each dumped about a foot of snow within a couple weeks. I think that may have been the only pleasurable part of my first year here. (First year of grad school totally sucks.)

Anyway, I'm hoping to see lots of snow, although that means digging my car out will be a pain. That also means I should drive it in to campus either Wednesday or Thursday so that when the plow comes through, my car isn't buried under more snow. We'll see what happens.

The one bad thing about a large amount of snow is that it's going to be a real bitch getting to the bus stop in the morning. Plus, I don't have good shoes for being out in the snow. I really should have thought about that before now, but we had such a mild and dry winter up until now that I put the thought of getting boots out of my mind. My shoes should be good enough, though, provided I don't have to walk in snow too much. If I need to, I'll just lean them up against a heater while I'm at home to dry them out.

In other news, the job search continues on. I think I've sent out about 15 resumes for teaching jobs in WI, IL, IN, and MN. I'm hoping at least one of them sticks. I just want a real job where I feel like a useful member of wherever I'm working. I don't feel that now, and I don't really like it. I just feel like the time I spend at work is wasted. Nor do I feel very useful or necessary to my job. I don't know. I just want things to be different. I'm definitely ready for a change, whatever that may be. As long as I don't have to get a crappy retail job, I'll be relatively happy.

Let's see. What else? Oh, yeah. I hate Valentine's Day. I know I've written about this before, but I have to say it again. I don't like how it's this day where couples are celebrated and singles aren't. It makes absolutely no sense to me. The only reason I see for it is for Hallmark to have yet another holiday where they make money. Maybe I'm just bitter because I don't have a relationship, or any sort of dating life whatsoever. Of course the first half of February sucks already because I'm reminded of my father, whose birthday was last week. (For those that don't know, my father is a selfish jackass that only wants a relationship with me now that he and Mom are divorced. It's a long, sordid story, which would probably make a good novel, and I don't want to get into it right now.) So, it's just hit after hit for the first couple weeks of February.

I've added yet another new thing to my plate. Not only am I blogging on TVGuide.com, I'm also writing a recap for a soap on soapcentral.com. I recap Wednesday's One Life to Live. It's a volunteer position, so I don't get paid, but it's kind of fun to do. Plus, I figure if I get my writing out there enough, maybe someone will notice me and hire me to do some writing. That's actually what I'd like to do with my life. I have this desire in me to create something. I don't know what that something is at the moment, but I figure writing is a good way to release some energy. So, we'll see if anything comes from that. It would be exciting if something would, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. It just would be fun to write for a living. At least that's what I think now. If I actually did it I might have a different opinion.

Hmmm. I guess that's about it from me. I have one other thing on my mind at the moment, but that seems like something for its own separate blog entry. So, perhaps another post will be coming in the next few days. Don't count on it, but it could happen. Anyway, I'm getting sleepy, so I'm going to go relax for a bit and wait for the snow to come!!

Cold Snap and Other News

2007-01-18T14:31:00.001-06:00

It's finally feeling like winter here in PA. Not so much in the having snow on the ground, but more in the being pretty chilly outside. I have a feeling that this is just the beginning. We've been pretty spoiled this winter so far, so I'm expecting there to be a major storm sometime before April. Talk about hedging my bets, huh? This is why I'm not going to be a forecaster.

No news on the job front yet. I haven't exactly been trying all that hard, either. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have decided, though, that I'm going to expand my search quite a bit. I'm no longer limiting myself to just jobs using my math or meteorology degree. I'm going to look for jobs in any field that sounds at least moderately interesting to me. Plus, I figure, a master's degree has to carry some weight no matter what job I get, right? I mean, the only place that I think it would probably overqualify me for a job is in fast food.

One other interesting item of note to report to you all. I've started a TV commentary blog on TVGuide.com similar to my other blog here on blogger. My second real post (I have three, one introduction and two actual posts) became a featured post today! I was quite surprised and happy to see that. Apparently someone thought what I wrote was worthwhile. So, feel free to go check it out either at tvguide.com or the same text in my blogger entry here.

Other than that, not much is new with me. I stayed in my apartment to work from home today. Work is being used in a very loose sense. I did do some actual work, but not as much as I would have liked. But, since I had therapy today, I felt that actually taking the bus to work and having to interrupt my flow in the middle of the day would be counter-productive. I may have been wrong, but I'm not terribly upset about it. I've been working hard all week so far, so no guilt here.

Well, for not having much new with me, that last paragraph was pretty long, so I'll stop writing for now until the mood strikes to write again.

Time to start posting again

2007-01-11T21:21:00.000-06:00

I've seriously been neglecting this blog, so I'm hoping that in the near future I will post more regularly instead of once a month like I've been doing the past few months. I think today will be more random thoughts, since I don't have anything of any real length to make a decent post.

- First off, I finally found out this week from my advisor that he can fund me through July now. That makes me happy, for the purely practical reason that I won't have to sublet my apartment anytime in the near future. However, I'm so disappointed with what I'm doing at work that I'm not sure that spending that much more time here is going to be good for me. I don't really feel passionate about the work I'm doing, which makes it incredibly hard to actually go to campus to do it. It also doesn't help that I have no idea what kind of job I want to look for. I really don't know what I want to do, which is kind of sad, in my opinion, especially having gone through all this schooling. I mean, I'm 27 and I feel exactly like I did when I was coming out of high school. I guess my next task is just to broaden my job search to just about anything that sounds interesting for me to do. If anyone out there has any suggestions, feel free to leave comments.

- The holidays were great. I loved being at home and not having anything to really worry about. It was just nice overall. I got to spend time with my sister and my mom. The only weird thing about the holidays was that there was no snow on the ground at all when I was home. The only snow I saw was the little bit that fell from the sky as I was driving up I-43 towards home. It just didn't quite feel like Christmas in that regard, although having weather in the 40s isn't anything to complain about.

- I was very happy about what I got for Christmas, too. My sister got me Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and my mom got me a bunch of sweatshirts, a pair of glittens (borrowing the word from Karen for a mitten/glove hybrid), a Pocket Dragon, and a piece of Fenton glassware. Not a lot, but much more than I expected to get. And a nice combination of useful and fun gifts. I also got a new carry-on from my grandparents. Not that I plan on flying much anymore, but having a nice piece of luggage is always good.

- Completely random thought, but still slightly on topic. I love the feel of brand new sweatshirts. I just really like how soft and fuzzy the inside of sweatshirts are before they've been washed several times over.

- On my drive back here after the holidays, I was listening to a news station through Chicago to keep track of the traffic, and there was a blurb about Pat Robertson. I seriously think this guy is delusional. Apparently God has been talking to him and He told him that there would be a major terrorist attack late this year. Am I the only one that thinks he's completely insane. Don't get me wrong, I believe in a higher power. What I don't believe is that God actually talks to all these religious zealots. Maybe it's just me, but I think Pat Robertson should just stay out of the news.

- On a related note, Bush's strategy in Iraq is finally changing! I don't know how because I didn't listen to him talk last night. I make it a point to not listen to him talk. He just irritates the hell out of me. It's about time that something gets changed there, though. I think something should have changed a couple years ago when it was clear that nothing productive was happening. But, hey, that's just my opinion.

- I have to comment on the Rosie-Donald feud going on. I feel that Miss America should have had her crown taken away after being caught underage drinking. She's supposed to be a role model for the youth of America and be working toward the greater good. At least I thought winners of pageants had platforms that spoke of things they want to accomplish that will help the world. So, I think Rosie was completely correct in calling out Donald about it. Of course, I didn't think this little fight would last for so long, nor that it would get so ugly. But still, both sides should just drop it. No good will come from it continuing, but if it must, I firmly stand on Rosie's side.

Well, I thought I had other things to say, but my mind is drawing a complete blank, so I'm going to end this post for now. As always I welcome comments, and if you do read this, feel free to stop by my other blog. That one will hopefully be updated more often as well. Leave comments there, too, if you'd like. OK, now I'll definitely stop because I'm feeling a bit shameless begging for comments here.

Requisite Before-The-Holidays Post

2006-12-20T20:18:00.000-06:00

Well, this is my last post before the holidays, so first off I'd like to wish any readers I have a happy whatever-it-is-you-celebrate! And now some random musings:

- It totally does not feel anything like Christmas to me. It's too warm and there's no snow. Of course, it doesn't help that the year is going so quickly for me that I can't believe that in just under two weeks it's going to be 2007. Plus, not being a student anymore is throwing off my sense of time. I've been a student for so long that I'm used to having a well-defined break for the holidays, but now I just keep working (ahem, "working") and don't have a specified few weeks off. So, it's just weird. But don't get me wrong, I don't miss being a student whatsoever.

- Karen has gotten me addicted to weffriddles. I like them because they can be quite tough unless you think about them a certain way. I'm now on Level 47.

- I've been applying for more jobs recently. I just applied to two government jobs, one for the Department of Labor and one for the Census Bureau. Both of these are statistician jobs, which works for me, since I have a B.S. in math. Plus, they both are based in Chicago, which is ideal for me. One, it's a large city. Two, it's really close to home. That is, it's three hours from home, which might sound far for some people, but that's a hell of a lot closer than I am now.

- The reason I'm applying for the jobs mentioned above is that I'm almost certain that I want a job that isn't specifically in this field. Unless, of course, it's one of the teaching jobs I applied for. I've just been getting more and more disenchanted with meteorology, or really, atmospheric science. I don't feel a passion for it, which means that I probably shouldn't get a job in it.

- The sad thing is that I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. I had this grand notion that after I was finished with grad school, I'd be able to get a great job in the field and really like what I was doing. I'm not saying that this couldn't happen yet. I'm just thinking that it probably won't because of the mentioned lack of passion. But, as my therapist has told me, it's not like I have to get a job using my master's degree. Having it just makes me a more interesting person. Or at least, it will to other people. I don't think I'm that interesting myself, but other people might.

- So, yeah, no job yet, but I'm applying, which is at least hopeful. If nothing else, come next spring or summer, depending on how long the funding lasts, I'll just move back home if I don't have a job.

- I'm still sad about my bunny. It's weird how much I miss her even though a lot of the time she annoyed the crap out of me. I've even had dreams that she's still alive. But, I'm bringing her home and am going to bury her there once the ground thaws.

- I'm surprised by the lack of Christmas cards I've received. I wasn't expecting a lot to begin with, but I've only gotten two this year so far. Well, technically one card and one family photo. I guess it isn't just me that isn't entirely in the Christmas spirit.

- I am, however, really looking forward to being at home for a while. I need a vacation again. It seems like not that long ago I was home for Thanksgiving. This time, though, I'll be home a bit longer. I'm home for about a week and a half, mainly because my sister's birthday is New Year's Eve and she's turning 21, so it should be lots of fun.

Well, I guess that's about it from me. This is probably my last post before the holidays, so again, have a wonderful celebration (I'm trying to be too P.C., aren't I?) and probably a happy new year too, since I won't be around the internet too much while I'm at home. Cheers!

Short Update

2006-12-12T21:34:00.001-06:00

Just a few quick updates to my blog:

1.) I've created a new blog dedicated to TV show commentary here. It's a work in progress, but hopefully something that other people will enjoy. I'll keep posting on it unless I don't get any readers, so anyone that reads this blog is welcome to head on over there and check it out, and if you like it tell some friends. I like having an audience.

2.) In making the blog mentioned above, I noticed some new templates available for Blogger. Thus, visitors to this blog will notice a new background. I love lighthouses, so I decided that this background is perfect for me. If you have any comments about it, preferably good (but I'll deal with bad ones as well), let me know.

That is all for now. What can I say? My title said it would be a short update.

RIP Anya

2006-12-05T16:00:00.000-06:00

Today while I was at work, my rabbit died. I've been worried about her for about a week now, mainly since I've gotten back from Thanksgiving at home. I'm not sure what happened, really. She was a bit off when I got home, but I attributed that to the stress of the ride home. She seemed to get better, though.

On the trip back, though, she seemed to get worse. Well, not really worse, but she had been acting strangely. First she wasn't eating as much as she normally does, but again, I just thought that she needed to calm down from the stress of the trip home. But, I got more and more worried as the days went on because she was lethargic. Unfortunately, I didn't have the money to take her to a vet, so I just did whatever I could, which wasn't much since I don't know a whole lot about rabbits.

Over the last couple days she'd been acting really weird, though. A lot of the time, I found her with her two front paws in her water dish, just standing there. I didn't know what to make of that, so I just let her be, and petted her when I could. Yesterday she was very slow moving, so I held her a bit and tried to comfort her. I think on some level I knew she wasn't doing too well. Especially this morning. She really looked to be on her last legs, and I was worried that I'd come home to find her not living anymore. That turned out to be the case. She had died sometime while I was at work.

At this point, I'm wondering if there was more I could have done. I realize that there probably wasn't, or at least there wasn't anything I could have done that wouldn't have been terribly expensive. Reading that over, it sounds really bad, and I don't mean to sound incredibly cheap, but that's the way it is.

Anyway, I just really hope that she wasn't in too much pain when she died. I'll never be certain because I don't know what was wrong with her, but at least she's not in pain anymore. I'll miss you, Anya.

Ramblings from Thanksgiving

2006-11-28T18:45:00.001-06:00

I really need to learn how to update this a bit more often. I guess I just have nothing interesting to say lately. However, I did go home for Thanksgiving, so I now have things to say, in no particular order.

- I've been sick for the past couple weeks. Well, not really sick, so much as having a hacking cough. So, once Mom heard it, she decided that I should go see a doctor. It turns out that I had bronchitis. I was put on antibiotics and some cough syrup, and I'm starting to get better. I still have a little bit of cough, but overall, I'm feeling much better.

- Thanksgiving itself was fun. We went down to my aunt and uncle's house in Kenosha and had a huge dinner, and then just chatted and played games, and overall had a good time. It's always nice to have a little downtime. Unfortunately on the way back home it was incredibly foggy. There were times where I could hardly see the side of the road from the back seat of the car. It was kind of scary. We made it home safely, luckily. It was just quite freaky.

- Mom and I actually did the Black Friday thing, except we weren't crazy enough to get up before the crack of dawn to fight the mobs. We decided to go later on that night, around 5pm. It was really nice. Most of the people in Green Bay had done all their shopping already, so we didn't have to fight crowds, and the sales staff didn't work that morning, so they were fresh and happy as opposed to bitter and cranky, so it was actually pleasant. Mom also offered to buy me things, so I have a new pair of slippers and a new sweatshirt.

- Since I was at home and sick, I decided that I would sleep in most days. (Of course, if I was healthy I would have done the same thing, because I like sleep.) Friday I slept until after noon, because my body apparently needed it. I rarely sleep that long, so I was pretty surprised. It helped my body, but I also think that it was also partially the codeine in the cough syrup I was prescribed.

- My hometown now has its first Starbucks. It even has a drive-thru. The store is conveniently located near the highway, so those people that drink coffee can grab a cup to go and head out of town. I won't be frequenting the store often because I'm not a coffee drinker, but I'm sure it will make good money anyway.

- I kept seeing commercials and signs telling people in my county to shop in the county. In most places that wouldn't be a problem, but my county doesn't have a lot to offer. Yes, there are plenty of grocery stores, and a Wal-Mart, but if you want any type of gift store or a Target or Kohl's, you have to go out of town. But the thing that really bothered me was that the sign on one of the grocery stores said "Shop Local." That is just grammatically incorrect. It should be "locally." I know grammar isn't a high priority to most people, but it bugs me when it's wrong in print. When people are speaking, I don't typically have a problem (except with the way central Pennsylvanians never use a form of "to be" when something needs to be done), but in writing it just grates my nerves. I don't know why, it just does.

Well, I guess that's about it from me for now. I keep saying that I'll update this more often, and I hope to, but to the few readers I have out there, don't count on it. But, keep checking. You never know when a new entry will be posted.

Professional Identity Crisis

2006-11-02T18:50:00.000-06:00

In therapy today I talked a lot about how I really don't know what I want to do with my life at the moment. I had always thought that when you go to grad school, you start to develop some sort of professional identity and will find a job in that field afterwards. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't want to stick in this field when I finished grad school.

Well, that's not entirely true. It's not that I don't want to stay in this field particularly. It's just that I'm tending to be fairly choosy about what projects I'd like to work on. I'm still stuck on the question of how/why anoxia develops on the ocean floor in some areas, which was going to be the heart of my dissertation, had I still been able to go on for my PhD. (Yes, I'm still slightly bitter about this.) So, I'd really like to find a job that involves studying this problem. Granted, it's not a widely studied problem yet, even though I think it should be. I am slightly biased, though, so you may want to take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Of course, this whole identity crisis I'm having also sort of stems from the fact that I finally heard from Rutgers, and I didn't have the job. They were nice enough to say that I was ranked highly in the applicant pool, but they ultimately decided to go with someone with more experience doing the types of things the job required. I kind of figured that I wouldn't get the job, because of my lack of experience, but it's still disappointing.

That makes me go back to the time when I was looking for a part-time job when I was in high school. I had applied all over the place (grocery stores, department stores, restaurants) and most of those places wanted people with experience in whatever job I had applied for. I never really understood that. How is one supposed to get experience in a certain job if no place of business hires someone with no experience? I just can't get a good grasp of that. Eventually I did get a job as a busperson at Perkins, which was not ideal, but it helped me pay for my trip to France my senior year, so I can't complain too much.

Anyway, now I'm back to searching for jobs, not really knowing what kind of job I want to do. I have found a few teaching jobs in the midwest (Madison, WI and Springfield, IL) that I'm applying for. I think those would be the most ideal, because I actually like teaching, and they're much closer to home. I'm hoping those will pan out well for me, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.

I've also been thinking of just moving home for a while and getting a crap job in retail or something while I figure out what I want to do with my life. It would be nice to have a roof over my head that I wouldn't have to directly pay for. Sure, I'd help out with groceries and such, but it would be nice to live somewhere rent free for a while.

I'm also playing around with the idea of not doing anything related to meteorology or oceanography. The main idea floating through my head at the moment is being a writer. Not in the novel sense, but more like writing reviews of TV shows and the like. I mean, I watch entirely too much TV, and I have lots of thoughts about the various shows I watch (especially Lost), so I think I'd be pretty good at it. Granted, I don't have a journalism degree, but who says you need one of those to be a writer? Again, it's just an idea right now. In fact, I'm seriously considering launching a second blog and try my hand at writing about the TV shows I watch. If I do that, I'll post another entry on here linking to that blog.

Anyway, my main point in this entry is that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I feel like I'm in this quarter-life crisis I've heard about. At this point, I just want a full-time job that pays relatively well so I can not have to live paycheck to paycheck.

In other news, I finally converted my driver license to Pennsylvania. I was actually surprised at how efficient the DMV is here. It took me less than an hour to go through the line, fill out the paperwork and get the license printed. It probably helped that I went relatively early in the day, but still, I was impressed.

And to end this post, I got a Halloween card from my mom earlier this week that I keep chuckling about. On the front there are three ghosts, and they're all yelling "OOB!" Underneath, the text says, "Dyslexic ghosts," and inside it says, "Halloween Happy." I got a kick out of it, because it's from my mom, and sometimes she talks somewhat dyslexicly (if that's a word). In writing this, I realize it's probably not funny to anyone else, but I don't care. It's funny to me, and that's all that matters.

A Card Hallmark Doesn't Make

2006-10-26T18:23:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my grandparents' anniversary, and I've spent the better part of this month trying to find a card for them. Granted, it's difficult anyway because my grandma isn't the world's easiest person to shop for, even when just looking for a card. Anyway, I've spent several hours of time in various Hallmarks trying to find anniversary cards specifically for grandparents. You wouldn't think that would be difficult, would you? Well, apparently it's become passe to actually send grandparents an anniversary card. In most Hallmarks I was lucky if I could find one card for grandparents, and usually that was in the section labeled "Cards for Unique Needs." So, it's unique to want to send your grandparents an anniversary card?! What, do they just assume that grandparents don't stay together? I know the divorce rate is 50%, but this is slightly ridiculous.

I ended up just getting a non-special (or non-unique) anniversary card for them, because I didn't have much choice in the matter. I just find it odd that something that special, like my grandparents' anniversary, doesn't have a variety of cards devoted to it while other so-called holidays (Sweetest Day, Bosses Day, etc.) have entire racks of cards for them. Am I the only one bothered by this? Probably, but I needed to vent a bit...

In other news, no word yet on the Rutgers job. I'm not sure how to feel about that. They said I should know by last week. I'm guessing that I may still be in the running only because they didn't say that I didn't have the job right away. But, I'm also guessing that I'm not their first choice, and they're waiting for whoever was their first choice to make a decision. So, we'll see. Hopefully I'll find out soon. In either case, though, I may as well start putting in my application elsewhere. Of course, once I start doing that, I'll end up hearing from them, because that's just the way it works for me.

I definitely need to get a job soon. I just got my first bill to start repaying my student loans, and that's an extra bill I wasn't planning on getting quite yet. So, we'll see what happens. It's definitely a good thing I have some money put away in savings, though. I'd be totally screwed without that cushion.

Other than that, not much else is new. Tonight is big TV night. Ugly Betty and two repeats of Grey's Anatomy, which I'll watch anyway because that show is freakin' awesome. I could watch it over and over again and not get tired of it. OK, that may be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. So, I'm off to go hunker down in front of the TV.

Randomness from NJ and the rest of last week

2006-10-17T21:53:00.000-05:00

I'm just really crappy at updating this thing lately, mainly because I don't have a very interesting life at the moment. However, since it has been a month since my last post, I feel that I should make some sort of entry, and this one is going to be just random thoughts, mainly from my trip to New Jersey.

- For those that don't know, I had an interview for a programming job at Rutgers last week. It was my first interview in a long time, and I think it went fairly well. I mean, it's probably not the best interview I had, but I don't feel completely ashamed by it. I'm really hoping to get the job, though. I'll find out sometime this week, hopefully.

- The drive to New Brunswick was fun. (Note the sarcasm.) I've been on Highway 22 pretty much throughout the state of PA, and I can say with certainty that for the most part, it sucks. The only good parts of 22 are when it's merged with an interstate. Then it isn't so bad. Construction was just horrible last Monday, though. I was at a standstill numerous times. Once right outside of State College when the road was down to just one lane for traffic in both directions, another time at a merge point in eastern PA. It's just really annoying dealing with construction. I didn't think there would be any work done last Monday because it was a holiday. But, hey, what do I know?

- Also on my way there, I was behind a vehicle that was smoking. Smoke was coming from somewhere near the front of the camper. It was trying to be nice to let me pass it by moving as far right as it could, but every time I would try to pass it (where it was legal.... PA doesn't seem to have very many large stretches of straight road), it would start to move back into the lane. I was so happy when I got to a part of the road that had two lanes for each direction of traffic.

- As is customary when I drive to a new place, I got lost in New Brunswick. I started off going in the correct direction once I got off the highway, but because the directions I got weren't clear about how long it would take to get to my next turn-off, I turned around. Then I had to turn around again, and finally I found the highway I was supposed to get on. Then when I got off that highway, I came to one of the smallest roundabouts I've ever seen, and I missed the point I was supposed to veer off of it toward the hotel, so I ended up taking a slight detour. Eventually, I made it to the hotel, and I was thrilled to be able to get out of the car.

- I hate that you can't pump your own gas in New Jersey.

- The night before my interview, I walked on campus a bit to get food. (I certainly didn't want to get back into my car again.) I must say that the campus center food I got there wasn't half bad. And I got a lot of food for a relatively cheap price. Especially French fries. I got so many I couldn't eat them all.

- The selection of TV channels in the hotel I stayed aren't wasn't great, but I did get to see Fashion House on what used to be UPN. It's basically an American telenovela, the equivalent of a nighttime soap. It was so wonderfully campy, I enjoyed it tremendously. There were catfights and high drama. And I must say that Morgan Fairchild plays an excellent bitch. Of course I knew that from her days on The City, but she's great on this show, too.

- I will admit that I thought I looked very nice for my interview. I got quite a bit of help deciding on what to wear from some friends in the meteo department. The only bad part about the outfit I wore was that it was mostly black, and it just happened to be in the mid-70s that day. However, I did look very nice, I think. That's saying something, too, because I rarely think I look good. Most of the time I have very low self-esteem, but dressing up seems to give me some confidence.

- Rutgers has a very beautiful campus. I think it's one of the prettiest campuses I've ever been on. Plus, the building I interviewed in was nice-looking. I don't think I've ever worked in a nice-looking building on a campus before. Usually I'm in the hideous eyesores.

- I was surprised to see one of the guys that was at the last team meeting I went to in an office right across the hall from the guy I interviewed with. It was a pleasant surprise. He's a very nice guy, and not bad to look at either. I even stopped back after walking around campus a bit to chat and say hi. Just another reason I wouldn't mind having a job there. (Yes, I have a shallow side, too....)

- Once I got back from Jersey, I had my work cut out for me because there was another team meeting this week. I didn't get to go, because Ray said it wouldn't be a good use of my time, which at the time, I agreed with. I'm only working part time anyway. However, this week I've been VERY unproductive. I think I may have burned myself out a little bit last week. I think both yesterday and today combined, I've worked about a half-hour. I'm slightly ashamed by that, but yet not really. I'm back to feeling like I'm just frittering my time away until I get a real job. Maybe I'll get back to having some motivation this week, but I'm not counting on it.

I guess that's about it for now. Hopefully my next entry won't be too far in the future. I'm also hoping I'll have good news to report. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high for this job, but I can't help but feel a little excited by it. Only time will tell, I guess....

Morbid Curiosity

2006-09-17T21:34:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a bit about death lately. This time it's not because I've been depressed, though. About a week and a half ago I called Mom and she told me that her cousin's daughter had been killed in a car accident. Apparently she was driving to work from Manitowoc to Green Bay and for some reason her car crossed the median on I-43 and collided with a semi. Her car and the semi burst into flames, but the semi driver got out fine. She was not so lucky.

Since then, I've had this rather morbid desire to find out any and all information I can about what exactly happened. An autopsy was done and that showed no medical reason for the accident to have happened. I'm still a little surprised that they could actually do an autopsy on a burnt body, but I know next to nothing about forensics. The thing is that there doesn't seem to be any reason for it to have happened. The weather was fine and she was going to work, so alcohol shouldn't be a factor. It's just all very confusing.

I think part of why this is hitting me so hard is that she was only 20 years old. Plus, she's distantly related to me, and she went to school with my sister, who is also only 20. It's just so tragic that this happened. It causes me to worry just a little bit more about my sister, and basically everyone that I care about that drives on a regular basis.

I really wish there were some answers as to why this happened. And, of course, now that more than a week has passed, all the news stations back home aren't even covering the story anymore, so I don't think that there will be any answers coming anytime soon.

There has been some speculation, from what I've heard from Mom. Some people think it was a suicide, which I can't believe. I don't really know her all that well, but Mom says that she seemed very full of life and had no reason to want to kill herself. Mom even told me that there supposedly is a website that is basically saying horrible things, speculating on reasons that this could have been a suicide. I've always made it clear that I will never understand people, but this just makes me sick. Why would people do that? Why badmouth the dead when there are so many live people out there that can actually defend themselves against stuff like this? I just don't get it.

Another thing that I've been thinking about is how horrible it would be to die that way. I kind of hope that she died before the fire broke out, only because I wouldn't want her to suffer. Mom told me about an accident that happened a year or two ago back home where people were joyriding and weaving in and out of construction barrels. I don't know exactly how the accident happened, but she said that something happened to the car (which isn't a huge surprise seeing as the people were drunk) and it burst into flames. Apparently the people couldn't get out of the car, and Mom told me that people said they could hear the screaming from the people in the car a good distance away. It's simply unimaginable how horrible that must have been. That's why I hope, in this case, she was dead before the fire started.

Anyway, that's just been on my mind a lot recently, and I figured that writing about it might help. I still wish there were some way to find answers about this, but I'm guessing there isn't. It's just very sad, and it's probably not something that I'm going to forget about anytime soon.

Good Day

2006-08-30T20:02:00.000-05:00

I've actually been in a good mood for most of the day today, which is a really nice change from the way I've been feeling for the past couple months or so. It's been a rather spontaneous change, and actually kind of surprising since I haven't been sleeping all that well this week. So, since my mind has been in a good place recently, I have lots of random thoughts, and will put them in list form for this post.

- It's that time of year when the undergrads are coming back to town and clogging up traffic anywhere near the university. Most of the time I'd find it incredibly annoying, but this year it's not so bad. I think it's because I'm finally not a student, so I don't have to take classes, and thus I can kind of gloat about it to those people who do have to take classes. Plus, having all the undergrads back presents a lot more eye candy in town. Even though today wasn't a particularly good day for it, being cloudy and all, it was still fun to look around.

- Now this may just be me, and I'm not all that fashion conscious, but what is the point of wearing pants if you're going to let them hang halfway down your ass? I just don't get it, especially if one is wearing a belt too. A belt is supposed to hold your pants up. Am I the only one that is bugged by this? I also don't get buying jeans that have holes fashionably put in them. I wouldn't spend large amounts of money on pants like that when I could buy a crappy pair of jeans and tear holes in them myself. But that's just me....

- I've discovered that I really like taking the bus to campus. First it saves me gas money, which is always a good thing. Plus, it's nice to be able to go to and from campus at a somewhat regular schedule. Sure, it takes about a half hour to take the bus from Toftrees to campus, but it's nice not having to drive myself. Plus, I get a little time to read during the day (finished HP6 again yesterday) which is kind of relaxing, although sometimes I get a little nauseous feeling because the bus drivers don't know that they should slow down a bit for sharp turns. But overall, it's a good thing. What was especially nice was that the bus this morning was one of the fancier buses with nice fabric and very cushy seats. I wouldn't mind having that one come by everyday. The only bad thing about taking the bus is that a bus stop isn't exactly convenient from where I live. But it does give me a little exercise during the day, so I can't complain too much.

- I'm seriously considering buying a Bowflex, only because I want to get into better shape. Yes, I could go to one of the various gyms on campus, but they now cost money to get into. Sure, that would probably still be cheaper than getting an actual piece of equipment, but it's much less convenient. Plus, most of the gyms I'd have to wait in line for quite some time before I could even get in, and I just don't have the patience for that. I'm still uncertain if getting equipment is the right thing to do. If anyone has any strong feelings about this, specifically about the Bowflex products, and wants to enlighten me, I'm more than willing to hear comments.

- I've been very tense lately, and I think it's mainly because I'm accepting that I'm no longer a student and have to start looking for a job. The idea of job hunting does not really appeal to me at all. I'd much rather just have a job fall in my lap, but I'm not lucky like some people (coughKarencough). I can really tell that I'm tense though, because I feel like I'm squeezing in on myself. I've even been clenching my jaw a bit more than normal. But, hopefully once I really start the process of looking for a job, it'll get better. If not, I may just have to go get a massage again.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. At least that's all I can think of at the moment, but my mind's been all over the place lately, so there's probably more there, but it's not coming to me right now. It probably doesn't help that my sleep pattern has been quite irregular lately, so my brain is in a fog, but I think this is a long enough entry. So, with that I'll end and pick up again at some other time....

Escapes

2006-08-10T15:25:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to do a semi-philosophical post for some time now, but never had the energy or time. Well, that's not entirely true. I had time last night, but the site was down so I couldn't do a damn thing. But, today I have time, mainly because I'm waiting for data to process yet again.

So, lately I've been having a rough time coming to work and actually doing work. Who can blame me, though? I've been feeling sucker-punched by the whole candidacy thing basically since I've found out that I didn't pass. It's really hard to want to do productive work when you're feeling like you're useless to the department, which is how I've been feeling lately. I realize that the department doesn't really feel that way, otherwise they wouldn't be keeping me on for an extra six months to help pad my way to finding a job. But, still, it's hard to feel like I'm a worthwhile member of the department.

Last week was a particularly rough week. I truly wanted to be anywhere but State College for most of last week. I just felt like giving up on the whole Penn State thing. I'm completely serious about wanting to be anywhere else, too. It wouldn't have mattered if it were in a different city in PA, a different state, a different country, hell, even the moon. And I guess it isn't too surprising that I'd be in that state of mind finally. It took a while for me to get over the shock and then the denial of everything. Last week I just couldn't take it anymore.

Because of all this, I've been doing a lot of escaping lately. Mainly figuratively, of course. I watch my soaps everyday, which I did before, but lately it's been especially nice to escape into other people's lives and see them have bigger problems than I have.

Besides that I've been doing other things just to keep my mind occupied. The last few weekends when I haven't been visiting with friends I've been playing my Super Nintendo. (I'm really, really old school when it comes to video games.) That's a nice escape, too, because it brings me back to when I was younger and didn't have so much on my plate. I've discovered that it doesn't seem to take as long to beat some of the games as I used to think it did. I beat Super Mario 3 in four hours and Super Mario World in six hours (approximately). Of course, I did both of these without much interruption, which doesn't usually happen. I'll be doing a bit more of this next week while I'm home. I'm bringing it home and my sister and I are going to play a bit, just to have some down time.

I also escape by going to the bookstore or the mall. I like to be around a large mass of people, but not necessarily know anyone where I am. It kind of makes me feel invisible, or at least like I don't have to hide what I'm feeling quite as much. I guess it's easier to be myself when I'm surrounded by strangers. With people I know, I typically feel like I have to pretend to be something that I'm not. What that is I'm not entirely sure, and it varies depending on the people. That's why I've been more antisocial than normal the past week or so.

This weekend, though, I became more social. I went to visit Ingrid in Uniontown, just to get away from State College for a while. It was nice, because I didn't have to make decisions about what to do for the most part, and I could let me guard down a bit. Plus, we went and did stuff, which helped to keep my mind occupied. I think that helped me make a relatively quick upswing in my mood.

Of course, knowing that I'm going on vacation in a couple days is also helping. I'm especially looking forward to this trip home. I usually like getting away, but I think I really deserve it this time. Plus, I've been pretty productive considering everything that's happened lately, so I don't feel too bad about taking a week off.

I guess this wasn't as philosophical as I thought it was going to be, or at least as what I had mapped in my head. Either way, though, I think this is a very good way to celebrate my 100th post. I can't believe that I have that many posts. Time flies when you're incredibly busy I guess.

Anyway, I guess that's all. Now I have to find something else to occupy my mind while I wait for data to process. Happy 100th post to me, and here's to 100 more!

Bush on Israel/Lebanon conflict

2006-07-31T13:16:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to write a post for some time now, but I just haven't felt motivated to write one about anything going on in my personal life. However, since it's the end of July and and I want to have more than one post for this month, I'm writing about the latest fighting in the Middle East, mainly about what Bush has to say about it.

Here's a quote from him from CNN.com: "We want there to be a long-lasting peace, one that is sustainable." Really? My gut reaction is, of course we do. I mean, come on. Who's going to say that we want the peace to only last a short time?! But, of course, this is Bush, so we have to expect him to say what's completely obvious to the rest of us.

However, the one major thing that is bugging me about this is that Bush wants to work with people to create a plan for peace between these two countries. That's nice and all, but we're supposed to think that he can actually come up with a plan to create this peace? Has he even thought about Iraq recently? He's famous for going in, blowing things up, and then wondering why the hell that isn't working! It's sad that I have so little faith in the leader of this country. Wait.... That's implying that I do have faith in the leader of this country. We all know that's not true.

I also think that his desire for peace is just his outward persona. Deep down, we all know that he wants to take down Hezbollah himself. He wants to bring down all forms of tyranny in the world and spread democracy. That sounds great in the grand scheme of things. But the fact that Bush couldn't plan his way out of a paper bag is what gets him in trouble.

I guess I should tone it down before I go too far. Who knows who's reading this? I may be charged with something.....

Usually I'm not this cynical. Well, not this outwardly cynical anyway. I know partially it's because my mind is set at "pissed off at the world." (More on that in a future entry, possibly....) Basically, take what I've written with a grain of salt. I guess I just needed to vent about the completely contradictory messages from Bush.

Three Strikes

2006-07-04T18:58:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog, so, since I have a little time today, I'm going to post about the mian news that's going on in my life at the moment. Some of you that know about my life pretty well may be able to guess what this entry is about just by the title. Anyway, before I start going off on tangents, I'll get to the meat of this post.

I'm officially no longer a PhD student here. That's right, I wasn't able to pass the physics section of the candidacy exam, so now I have to figure out what to do with my life. I'm having a very hard time getting a grip on the fact that I'm not continuing on. This was never even a possibility when considering a game plan. I had thought that just by sticking it out and taking the stupid exam three times in a row would be enough to qualify me as a PhD student. The fact that I hadn't gone completely insane during this academic hazing is practically a miracle.

The thing that is really bugging me about the whole thing is that I thought I had the exam in the bag when I walked out of it in May. I had seen one of the questions on the undergrad thermo homework so I was feeling relatively confident that I did really well on that question. The other two questions I was less confident about, but I thought I made a good enough effort that I could at least get a conditional pass out of the faculty. Apparently, I was completely mistaken, though. It's actually quite silly of me to think that I would be able to stick around, especially since after my masters' defense, I was told that my committee didn't think I should pursue a PhD. But being part German, part Bohemian, and all scorpio makes me a very stubborn, persistent person. So, I thought, to hell with them, I'm going to do this and shove it in their faces. So much for that idea.

Here I was starting to feel like I was making my own place in the department, and starting to make real progress on my research, and then I get the rug pulled out from under me with this news. Luckily, I was planning on leaving for home immediately after I heard the news, so I had a chance to process it a little on my drive home. (The drive is incredibly boring up until Chicago, so I had lots of time where my brain was hardly working.) Then, while I was at home, I was very very good at denying that the news even happened. Well, not so much denying as it was not really facing the truth. Coming back here was difficult, and it was even harder to go into work the Monday before last. I was really thinking of various ways to kill time so I wouldn't have to be there for all that long. But, I stuck it out and chatted with Ray, and thankfully he was giving me the space I needed to really sort things out.

Another lucky thing for me is that Ray's able to keep me supported through the fall semester, so it's not like I'm being shoved out the department's door right away. I really do want to finish whatever I can with the research I'm doing, but yet a significant part of me just wants to tell the department to fuck off. I know I can't do this, or at least I shouldn't if I want to get any decent letters of recommendation from them. But it's incredibly tempting to just leave them in a lurch.

It's also pissing me off that I was making a place in the department for me and I was seriously motivated to do the research I signed on for as well as moving forward into my own project. I really did want to see if I could see what causes periods of oxygen depletion on the east coast continental shelf. I figured it would be a really interesting thing to work on, and it may even be helpful in making environmental policy. But now I can't work on it, or at least I wouldn't be funded to work on it. I was doing some really good things because I felt like I'd be around for quite some time to work on the project.

And yes, I realize that I wasn't exactly doing exceptional research, and that was something that Ray couldn't really use in my benefit, and he told me so when he came down with the news. The problem I have with that is that it's very hard for me to be really motivated to do work when I'm not even sure that I'm going to be in the department for that long. It was all based on if I would pass the candidacy exam. The only reason I was starting to be really motivated is that I figured that the department wouldn't just cut me loose after investing in me for four years. I had just assumed that I'd be sticking around, and that was enough for me to actually start trying to accomplish something.

Now that I know I'm no longer going to be doing research beyond December, my motivation has taken a rather sharp nosedive. Most days it's hard enough for me to even get to Walker much less do anything productive. I'm hoping that once I get over this melancholy (for lack of a better word) I can be productive enough to have something worth publishing.

The one thing that I may have going for me is that I have made enough contacts through various places that I'm hoping I'll be able to find a job relatively soon. I'm planning on contacting my old profs from undergrad to see if they can keep their ears open for any teaching opportunities in the midwest area, just so I can be closer to home, which will make it less of a hassle to plan when I can come home. There are also people that work at NASA and NOAA in the group dealing with the carbon cycle that I'm a part of. So, just in those two areas, I have a decent number of sources I can go to to look for jobs.

There is one thing, though, that is bringing me immediate satisfaction, and that's the fact that I'm no longer a student. To be honest, I was really getting burnt out with the whole school thing. I mean, I've been in school in some fashion since I was five. So, to not have to think about taking tests, doing homework, and just the normal stresses of being a student is kind of nice. At least in the long run it will be. Right now, I'm having a hard time looking at the bright side of things, which should surprise no one that knows me relatively well.

But, anyway, that's my life in a nutshell. I'm just trying to make it through each day and picking up the pieces of my overturned life. And now, I'm going to start getting ready to go see the fireworks. Or at least, I'll attempt to. I've had a headache almost all day, and it feels like it's going away, but we'll see what happens in the next half-hour or so. I'm just hoping it doesn't rain, and that I can find a decent spot to watch them from. It would be nice to have people to go with, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen, so just going will have to do for me.

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

Presentations

2006-06-12T22:08:00.000-05:00

So, tomorrow I get to present something at the group meeting again. The last time I did, the prof (I mentioned him in my rants during that time) absolutely hated my presentation just because it wasn't really focused enough and pretty short. And the only reason for that is that I had to teach about a half hour after the group meeting starts. When the person actually starts to speak it's ten minutes later, so really I had 15-20 minutes to present a ton of stuff I learned at the OS meeting a few weeks before.

This time, my presentation is much more organized, much longer, and more focused. It damn well better be since I've spent a large chunk of time on it. Yesterday was 4-5 hours and today was 8 hours at the office (minus about 30-45 minutes to eat lunch), a break from 5:30-7:30 (coming home and eating), then 3.5 hours after that. I finished around 11pm. I think that's more than enough time to create a good presentation. So, if this certain prof still doesn't like it, f*%& him.

In other news, I've finally found a purpose for Google Earth beyond just playing with it. I put an image from that in my presentation to show the region I'm calculating mixed layer depth for. It was fun getting it to do what I wanted, although when it zoomed in on exact coordinates, it went pretty fast, making me feel like I was skydiving. That wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling. Anyway, I'm happy that I found a practical use for it.

I guess that's all for now. I'm exhausted and heading to bed pretty soon. I need to get enough rest so I'm not feeling like a zombie while I'm giving my presentation.

Hodgepodge

2006-06-08T20:53:00.000-05:00

I have many random thoughts in my head right now, and I figure, why not put them in my blog.
First, yesterday when I was walking to therapy, I went past the Days Inn on Pugh Street and an Allegheny Power vehicle was there. That doesn't sound like much. However, the vehicle happened to be an SUV of some sort. It just seemed a little strange to me that the power company would be driving a rather nice SUV. Of couse, they do make loads of money, so they can afford a vehicle that gets less than 20 miles per gallon. I guess it just kind of irked me a little.

Another thing that's annoying me is the president's reinforced campaign to ban gay marriage in the country. First of all, is that really the most pressing issue to come to a conclusion on? I was reading Lou Dobbs commentary on CNN.com this morning, and he brings up many other more important things that should be tackled first. Some examples: the war in Iraq (more on that in a bit), immigration, poverty, and that's all I can think of at the moment. I just don't understand why it's such a big deal to let gays get married. I know I'm a bit biased in this argument, so take it with a grain of salt. The main argument for amending the Constitution is that marriage is a sacred institution and thus should only be allowed for couples that have a different gender. If marriage is so sacred, why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? Hell, most celebrities have five-minute marriages (can we say J-Lo?). I just don't see the point of saying that some couples that are devoted to each other shouldn't be allowed to get married. If you all want to see a great clip from the Daily Show where Jon Stewart skewers the Republican argument against gay marriage, google the key words "daily show" and "gay marriage." I found that debate frustrating, yet enjoyable.

Back to the war in Iraq: Apparently one of the main terrorist plotters was bombed today. I can't say that I'm sad that he died. However, even with this event, there seems to be no resolution as to how this war will end, if it ever does. (I'm still not entirely convinced that it will ever be done.) And I know that Republicans will tout this event happening even more than usual because it's a mid-term election year. Yes, it's one good thing that happened in the war. That doesn't make up for having no exit strategy at all. I just have this feeling that Republicans are going to stay in power just by riding the coattails of this killing. I sound very cynical, but I wouldn't be surprised if that happened. And I wouldn't be surprised if Bush's approval rating climbed a bit in the next few days. But, what can I do? I did my part in voting in the last presidential election (not that it did any good), so I have the right to complain about the direction this country is headed in.

A few other tidbits:

- For those of you in grad school, or those that have been in grad school at some moment, take a look at the comic in Karen's LJ (link in sidebar). It's hilarious because it's true.

- One week from tomorrow I find out whether the faculty like me enough to keep me in the program. That's basically what the candidacy exam measures. It's just a hurdle that they're forcing the grad students to jump over. Frankly, I'm sick of it. Plus, it's not like I'm going to use much of the information that I had to spit out during the exam. I think that's the most frustrating part. However, I am confident that they'll let me stick around, if for no other reason than that I'm very persistent.

- I've figured that stud is the poker game of choice for me. The last seven card stud night I won, and the one this week I was second. That's usually better than I do in Hold 'Em.

- I've also found myself thinking more like a researcher lately. I've been motivated to do work, more so than I have been in several years. That I attribute to feeling like I'm going to stick around. For the past year and a half, I've been in a limbo state, unsure of if I'd be staying in the department. I've also been thinking more about getting papers published, which seems to be the surest sign that I'm becoming a scientist. Right now, I have several things on my plate. One paper is on sea level rise projections, which I'm likely to be third author on. The second paper is dealing with my masters work, which Ray has been encouraging me to do. The third paper is still in its infancy, though. I'm calculating mixed layer depth along the east coast, and I think given the right angle, I could get a paper out of that as well.

- The last thing I'll mention is that I'm going home next weekend! It's been about three months since I've been home, and longer than that since I've taken a break from work, so I'm thrilled to be getting away.

Alrighty, I think I've exhausted all the random thoughts in my head. Hopefully this will allow me to sleep better tonight than I have in quite some time.

Controversy

2006-05-31T21:18:00.000-05:00

I just got done watching Larry King Live tonight. His guests were the Dixie Chicks. I had to watch because I love their music. Now, I'm not much of a country music person, but their stuff I like.

Anyway, the focus of the interview was on the "incident" in 2003 when Natalie said that they were ashamed that Bush is from Texas. I still don't really understand why so many people got their knickers in a twist about that comment. Heck, I liked them even more after that was said. Of course, I'm typically anti-Bush about most everything, so I may be just a little bit biased.

This comment got way too blown out of proportion in my opinion. What happened to freedom of speech? I know that there are a lot of die-hard Republicans out there. The last presidential election confirmed that for me. But to take one tiny comment and blow it into saying the Dixie Chicks are unpatriotic and are on Saddam's side is ridiculous. Natalie even had a death threat made against her. I mean, I know there are closed-minded people out there (again, see the 2004 election), but to think out any sort of attack on someone, well, is exactly what is going on in Iraq, on both sides. The insurgents continue to plan attacks against Americans, and America is continuing to plan out attacks against the insurgents.

So, I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised by the outcry of this one little comment. That sounds a lot more cynical than I had intended this post to be. I guess I've lived enough in my 26 years on the planet to basically have no faith in the human population in general, especially considering all the psychotic things happening all over the place. I don't just mean the war in Iraq, but everywhere in general. It always seems like there's some crazy person that does completely horrid things to other people. I have one such story, but that will be saved for a different post.

Getting back to my main point, the whole backlash against the Dixie Chicks in incredibly uncalled for. I don't mind that people disagree with what they said. I think disagreement is essential in democracy (even in the state it's in in America at the moment). I just think that sending death threats and having what basically amounts to a party crushing the CDs they've made. I remember seeing that on the news when it first happened and being appalled, because they were bringing bulldozers to crush the CDs. That's just pathetic. I would have more respect for people if they said they didn't agree with what the Dixie Chicks said and that's why they wouldn't buy their music. That's completely fine. But the fact that they crushed CDs just out of spite is totally useless in the long run. I simply cannot understand the motive for these types of things. Well, besides the fact that most people are followers, so if they see one idiot doing something and they have any agreement whatsoever with that idiot, they'll join in. Again, I sound incredibly jaded, which is just sad because I'm only 26. I'm supposed to still be able to see the good in people and be optimistic about the general public. But when people are teaching their kids to hate (as was referenced on Larry King tonight) it's just mind-numbingly sad.

When I started this post I thought it was going to be venting anger at the general public. I really didn't mean for this to turn philosophical and cynical, but that's where I ended up.

Three Posts in One

2006-05-16T20:44:00.000-05:00

Now that I've somewhat recovered from studying non-stop for at least three weeks, I have several things to write about.

1. Candidacy Exam Take 3

Yesterday was, what will definitely be, the last time I'll ever have to take the candidacy exam. I'm just so relieved that it's over. I was starting to crack under the pressure of it all. However, I actually think I did pretty well on it. Usually that would be a bad sign for me, because (especially in grad school) when I usually feel great coming out of test, I get it back to find out that I did horribly. Not this time, though. What really helped me out was going over the thermo class notes, and especially working through all the problem sets. The best thing was that one question on the candidacy exam was assigned on a problem set to undergrads this semester. And since I had worked through them, I knew that I could really nail that problem. That's the reason I'm content. It always helps when you see a question that you know you can do. So, the least I expect is to conditionally pass. At least, that's what had better happen. I've put in too much time here to be shoved out the door. And I know I'll have Ray in my corner, too, provided that he's actually around when the faculty meet to discuss the results.

All in all, I finally have some confidence that I will be able to continue on to get my PhD. And it's really nice to relax, finally, after being completely stressed out for the better part of the last month. I actually forgot what it feels like to not have stress, which is incredibly sad now that I think about it.

2. Immigration

Last night I was too exhausted to basically do anything, so I plopped on the couch and just laid there most of the night, flipping through channels until Grey's Anatomy came on. I ended up watching part of Bush's speech on immigration. The thing that really surprised me is that I agree that something should be done. It is very liberal of Bush to want to do something like this, since the Republican Party basically is for big business. I have a real problem with companies that bring in illegal aliens just to get some cheap labor. The same thing goes for factories that move operations to another country. All the upper echelon people in any company are looking for ways that they can line their pockets. I know that's jaded and cynical, but it's true for the most part.

Even though I agree with Bush that something should be done, I don't know if I agree with the way he's planning on going about it. First of all, he has a plan. Considering that he went to war with Iraq with basically no strategy nor plan to win the war, it surprises me that he carefully worked out a plan on this. I think it's a good thing, but he should have been doing something like this since before we went to war.

There are some steps in his plan that seem, at this point, like they'll be next to impossible to actually execute. He brought up having tamper-proof cards for immigrants that use fingerprints or retina scans or something of that nature. Now, I'm not sure if this is already being done in places, but it sounds like a lot of labor would need to be done just to implement this idea.

I also have a problem with this guest worker plan. I know he said it was not amnesty, but it really sounds like it to me.

One other thing that kind of pissed me off is that he wanted to uphold the ideals of America being a melting pot and that all people should be equal and blah blah blah. I may be paraphrasing a bit (or possibly putting words in his mouth). But that sentiment goes completely against one of his platforms. Basically he says that anyone can come into the country and have all the rights that Americans have, which I'm not saying is a bad thing. But, it does contradict his "moral issues" about gay marriage. So basically he's saying that anyone can become an American, but if one is gay they won't get the same rights that all other people do. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, and maybe I'm not. I just feel that Bush is creating a double standard here.

I do think that this whole issue needs to be resolved, and I know that this is basically a way to remind people that he's a good man so the red states will continue to support him and keep Congress in Republican hands.

3. Loan Consolidation Companies

This is just a rant about getting so many phone calls from companies wanting to save me money on my loans. That's all well and good, but it's gotten to the point where I screen my calls, for the most part. But, I usually figure that telemarketers (which is basically what they are) will not call after a certain time of night. For example, at about 8:50 my phone rings. Usually that would be Mom calling me, so I picked up. I knew I should have hung up when I heard the delay before someone started talking to me. However, I stayed on for too long and ended up having this guy trying to convince me to re-consolidate my loans. So, I basically cut him off by saying that I have already consolidated my loans. Of course, that doesn't stop him. He keeps going on as I'm saying, repetitively, that I'm not interested. I then told him that I'll be doing it through the company with whom I've already consolidated my loans and I wasn't interested. So as I'm continuously trying to shut him up, he goes on to say something to the effect of, "So you're just going to stick with what you know and not see what else is out there." So I said yes I am. Seriously, does he really think he's going to win any customers with that kind of attitude?

I just don't get it. How many damn student loan consolidation companies are there in the country. Considering I usually get a phone call from one every other day and they all seem to say that they're a different company. I'm tempted to start writing down names when I pick up just as a little experiment. This reason is why I'm very tempted to get caller ID on my land line. It's not like I get that many calls from non-telemarketers to begin with, but it would be a lot better than screening my calls.

The other thing I'm tempted to do is when I do happen to answer my phone when it's a telemarketer is after they ask if they can speak with me (and typically butcher my last name) I'll tell them that he just dropped dead. Or something to that effect. Maybe that would get them to stop calling me.

Anyway, those are the three things I've been wanting to post about, and now I'm done ranting, at least for now.

Quote of the Day

2006-05-09T13:48:00.000-05:00

I'm borrowing this type of entry from Karen. I actully went in to campus this morning, which is where this took place. Adam came in to talk to Tim, and then as he was leaving, this is the conversation that took place:

Adam: How's the studying going?
Me: (sullenly) OK.
Adam: That was a very Eeyore type response.

I had to laugh at that one because my favorite Pooh character is Eeyore. So, it was a very good description of me.

There is just one other thing I want to write about. I went to Target the other day and bought a pair of the Dr. Scholl gel insoles because the insoles that originally came with the shoe were getting quite worn. (There was even a hole that formed in one of them.) So, I put them in before I went on a hike on the trail behind my apartment, thinking that they would be great. It didn't work out quite that nicely. By the time I got back, I had a blister on the bottom of my right foot. So, I was not happy, and I couldn't understand how that could happen. It took me quite some time to actually size them for my shoe, and I figured I'd just need those without the original insoles. The originals, as I said, were very, very worn. Maybe I should have put them on top of the originals. Of course, it's too late for that now, since I threw the originals away.

My point is that the insoles didn't comfort my foot so I wasn't "gellin'." Perhaps I should have gotten the sport pair. I just don't know. The only thing I do know is that I wasted some money and I have to go buy a new pair of tennis shoes. Damn Dr. Scholl.

Alright, I suppose I should work up some ambition to actually study tonight. I'm feeling very sleepy right now, so maybe a nap is in order before that. We'll see.....

Deal or No Deal

2006-05-06T21:49:00.000-05:00

Last night, I put in one of my multitude of tapes I've recorded my soaps on, and I was flipping through channels to see what was on TV before I pushed play. I hadn't gotten very far before I came upon Deal or No Deal, the new game show with Howie Mandel hosting it. This isn't the first time I've watched it, but I'll get more into that later.

When I first heard about this game show where people pick cases and potential win a lot of money, I thought it was a stupid idea, because it took no skill whatsoever. When I watch a game show, I like some sort of thought that goes into winning money. Even Wheel of Fortune contestants need to know, well, the alphabet for starters, as well as filling in the blanks with words that make sense.

However, when I first saw Deal or No Deal a couple of weeks ago, I kept watching it for really no apparent reason. And this last time, I watched an entire episode. There's something strangely addicting about this particular game show. I haven't quite put my finger on it, though. I think part of it is just watching the adrenalin rush of the contestants. You wouldn't think that a show like this would be all that difficult, but it certainly seems like it is. Another part of the addicting nature of the show is that some people lose out on making a lot of money because they still have a chance to make even more, like the contestant last night. At one point she could have walked away with $299,000. But she got greedy and by the end, she only took home $25,000. I realize that $25,000 sounds like a lot, especially to a grad student on a stipend, but the fact that she could have walked away with ten times that amount and she turned it down is mind-boggling.

I think the show has an element of the "horrible car wreck" scenario to it. You know how you see a bad accident, cars totaled, windows broken, and maybe some blood, and as you're passing it, you don't want to look at it, but you still end up slowing down just to take a quick peek. This game show is kind of like that. Watching the woman on it last night was very similar. OK, not similar life-or-death-wise, but similar in that it's the same kind of feeling. You don't want to see her lose a lot of money, but you keep watching to see if she actually does.

Anyway, my point is that a game show with what sounds like a silly concept which needs no skill (beyond knowing numbers) seems like it shouldn't be all that exciting to watch. At least in theory, that is. I actually find it very fascinating, although I'd never want to be on the show myself. I don't think I could handle that type of pressure. (Sadly, it seems just as (or more) nerve-wracking as my masters defense.)

Has anyone out there watched it at all? If you have, do you find it as addicting as I do? I'm just putting out questions here to see if one of the few people that read my blog has any comments on this particular subject. Feel free to let me know. I always like seeing comments!

Cingular

2006-05-02T20:34:00.000-05:00

I keep seeing these commercials on TV about how Cingular has the fewest dropped calls of any wireless carrier nationwide. I even got a little flyer about it in my mailbox today. I have a big problem with this group of people that did the research. I know they're supposed to be separate from Cingular itself, but I'm beginning to wonder about that.

My main problem with the whole idea that they have the fewest dropped calls is that I have a large number of dropped calls. One even happened tonight while I was talking to my mom. So, I'm thinking that either I'm an outlier in the population considered, or they're lying with their statistics. Yes, I live in a woodsy area, and it's kind of a crapshoot as to whether I get a decent signal or not. I still tend to lean that the sample of the populations considered probably avoids areas like central PA, for example.

Of course, I may be wrong. If anyone out there that lives in central PA and has Cingular as their wireless service (mainly Karen, but others are welcome as well) wants to comment on my thoughts, feel free. Comments are also welcome from people who have had Cingular in the past and may have switched to a competitor or have never had Cingular at all. I'm just trying to get my own sample, which obviously will be biased due to the region I'm looking at, but I'd like to see if Cingular is actually being honest with their "independent research".

Pronunciation

2006-04-27T09:22:00.000-05:00

I was looking at cnn.com this morning to see what was in the news and discovered this link. I was immediately drawn to it because I'm from Wisconsin. I tried to access missprouncer.com, but I kept getting an error page. But still, I thought it was kind of fun to read the article, even though I would hardly consider that front page material on a national news website. Back home, I'm sure it's one of the top news stories. Anyway, I just wanted to share this with anyone that reads my blog.

Epiphany

2006-04-18T18:54:00.000-05:00

I've been studying thermodynamics the past couple weeks, since I have very little knowledge of that particular subject. I'm going through Maria's notes (she's a TA for thermo) and it's actually helping, even though I didn't start sitting in on the class until last week. And this is only because Jerry is teaching it. He's such a good teacher because he effectively brings the subject matter down to a level that people can understand.

But, I digress. My point is this. As I was copying the notes (I could have photocopied them, but I retain information better if I write it down), there was a lecture about the attractive forces between molecules. There was a short table listing different molecules (N2, O2, CO2, and H2O) and a value measuring the attractive forces between them. It turns out that H2O has a much larger attractive force than any of the other gases, and this is why H2O can change phase from vapor to liquid. I know this may not sound like much, and I'm sure other people knew this, but I didn't. (Or if I did, I didn't retain it.) It's just something I never really thought about, and to see it there made total sense to me. I had always just taken for granted that H2O could be in any phase, because that's what I've seen.

See, this is one of the things about grad school that sucks. (Yes, I know there are many, but I'm sticking around because I'm a masochist.) In the core classes, at least in the meteorology department, they don't focus on giving physical examples a lot of the time. The main focus is deriving equations, which is all well and good (I like equations, but I was a math major, so that's a given). But deriving equations just for the sake of deriving equations is not all that helpful. That's the problem I had with being a math major. In the upper-level classes we were proving things for the sake of proving them, and I didn't really see the point in that. Basically what I'm saying is that I need some sort of motivation as to why the equations are important. Physical examples help out so much.

Of course, it would also help if the profs realized that we all didn't come from a meteorological background, so they would keep going and going and expect us to follow what they're talking about. True, in our acceptance packets they recommend us reading a textbook on meteorology. And I didn't even buy that book because I was trying to save all the money I was earning to actually be able to move out here. (Isn't that a silly reason not to buy a textbook?) They also offer a intro to meteo course for new grads, which is somewhat helpful, but it's still cramming a BS in meteorology into one semester. So, we hit on topics very lightly and quickly.

My point in all this is that the department should highly encourage people to sit in on undergrad classes. That would have been so useful for me, because it's in undergrad classes that things are explained in physical terms as well as equations. But, anyway, I wanted to share my epiphany with the world, or at least the people who read my blog regularly.

Tree Sweater

2006-04-15T16:02:00.000-05:00

I was looking on cuteoverload.com (see link in sidebar) and at the top of the page was the following picture:

There's more to this story on a blog (click here) from someone in Seattle. I don't know why I was struck by this, but I do think it's cute, in a strange sort of way. Anyway, that's all for now.

Even More Randomness

2006-04-13T19:30:00.000-05:00

I know that I should write an actual blog entry at some point, but lately a lot of random things have happened, and none of them would make for a long (or cohesive) entry, hence the random thoughts.

- Last night was poker night. Instead of Texas Hold 'Em, we played seven card stud. I think I like stud better than Hold 'Em. It requires a bit more strategy and some luck, but not as much as in Hold 'Em. Of course, I may be a little biased because I won the small tournament last night, which was fun. I just kept getting lucky, and semi-bluffing at some pots. The only bad thing is that it was a limit game and at the beginning the limits weren't going up all that fast, so it took a long time to actually finish the game. I think we started a little after 8:00 and I ended up leaving at 12:45.

- After the game, as I was driving home, there was an amazing thunderstorm. Lots of lightning, some nice cracks of thunder, basically very impressive. I love thunderstorms anyway, I always have. In fact, when there's a severe thunderstorm watch/warning, instead of going someplace safe, I sit by the window and watch. Anyway, last night was cool, and we had another one this afternoon. It wasn't quite as impressive, but still nice enough to comment on.

- I'm getting really tired of the bus drivers in this town. I got on a blue loop when I left Walker Building, and there was this woman bus driver. I've seen her before, so that wasn't the shocking part. First of all, she never really seems all that happy. I mean, I know that people who drive bus probably had higher expectations out of life and probably didn't think they'd end up doing that. Still, though, people should at least be friendly, or be able to moderately fake it. That didn't really surprise me either because she always looks pissed off about something. But today, she was just a horrid driver. Every stop we came to she seemed to slam on the brakes. Luckily, I got a seat, but there were some times where I had to brace myself on the back of the seat in front of me. Seriously, if you're going to drive a bus, you need to realize that it is a big vehicle and needs more time to stop than that. It's not that hard to realize. Plus, bus drivers should at least take enough care to not have people being thrown all over the place. It was just awful.

- One more random thought. This one about a commercial. It's for those EPT pregnancy tests. Specifically I'm talking about the one where this woman is running and a voiceover of her says, "I can't concentrate lately. Could I be pregnant?" OK, it may just be me, but I don't see how those two thoughts connect at all. Maybe it's because I'm a guy that I find that odd. If any women readers out there want to enlighten me, I'd love to hear about it. But, for me, I can't concentrate a lot of the time, and I'm fairly certain I'm not pregnant. Of course, if I were, I'd be exploiting it, getting as much money as I can. I'm going off on a tangent here, which is getting a little weird, so I'm going to stop and ask again for women's opinions on this commercial.

Well, I think that's it for now. At least that's all I can think of, but I'm sure more will come to me sooner or later.

More randomness

2006-04-11T18:07:00.000-05:00

It seems like lately all I've been having is random thoughts. I don't know why I want to share them in my blog, but I do. So here are some more.

- I keep forgetting Easter is this Sunday. One of my students today came up at the end of lab and told me to enjoy my holiday weekend and I think I must have looked funny or dazed or something. Then he said something about Easter, so that helped me to remember. I hardly consider it a holiday anymore, mainly because I can't go home for it. And the fact that we don't even get Good Friday off here. So, it just comes and goes, and I don't really make a big deal of it.

- I've been having this craving for milkshakes lately. I don't really understand it. But, I've had one from many different places in town, but nothing can compare to Culvers, which hasn't quite made it this far east. Those are SO good.

- I'm so glad it's finally starting to feel like spring. It's nice to go outside with no jacket on. The only problem is it's still chilly when I leave for campus, so I wear pants instead of shorts. And then when I leave, I'm really warm. I think I need to have a separate wardrobe for Walker Building.

- I don't know if this is just me, but sometimes when I'm looking at words, they seem not to be spelled right or just kind of look funny, even though they are correctly spelled. I'm thinking it's just me. Of course, if anyone else feels the same way, I'd really like to know I'm not alone.

- I skipped my second group meeting in two weeks. Damn. I'm so upset. (I apologize for the sarcasm dripping down your screen.) Seriously, I don't really care about them anymore. Ever since He-who-must-not-be-named (no, not Voldemort) basically said that my presentation wasn't up to snuff, I couldn't care less. In fact, I was intending on having him on my committee, but now, that's not going to happen. I'm sure Ray won't be thrilled, but I don't care. I've just about lost all respect for You-know-who (again, not Voldemort), and I don't think I could deal with having a committee member that I don't respect. So, that's just my theory on the whole thing. I suppose I'll have to talk to Ray about it soon, and I'm just going to be honest.

- It seems like all the undergraduates have so much energy when it's nice out. I tried to teach a little bit today (very little since it was another video day) and I couldn't get them to shut up. I even asked them if they could shut up, and some people laughed, while others just kept yammering away. But, I think they were relatively pleased having a video day, and it was short as well. Only about a half-hour. I can totally deal with that.

- Yesterday I had to mail some stuff, so as I left work, I walked to the mailbox on campus and then walked up to catch a bus to the BJC (after getting a shake at the Creamery). I was waiting there for some time when someone walked up to those of us that were waiting and told us that there had been an accident by the library and no traffic was getting through. To be honest, I was shocked! People in Pennsylvania are such good drivers! (Yeah, I'm sorry about the sarcasm dripping down your screen again.) I know that there are bad drivers in every state, but PA seems to have a lot of them.

- I just read an article about the Dixie Chicks and how the first single they released from the newest CD is called "Not Ready to Make Nice." This is in reference to the comment Natalie made about being ashamed to share a state with the President. I loved their music before that, and I loved them even more after that. And I'm thinking I'll be loving them even more with this new CD. But, what I find really sad is that a lot of stations refuse to play the single because they don't want to open old wounds. I, personally, didn't know there were old wounds. I thought they were still fresh. Anyway, I do like that they aren't backing away from what they said. And the fact that stations and people are refusing to listen to their music just shows how closed-minded some can be.

Well, I think that's about it for now. It's almost time for Gilmore Girls, and I should try to get some studying done, but we know that's not going to happen anymore tonight, don't we? Oh, well. The exam is still about a month away. The fact that I'm already studying surprised the hell out of me. And on that note, I'm off.

Some Randomness

2006-04-09T17:51:00.000-05:00

It's been so long since I've written an entry on here. I feel like the past month was just a blur. But in this entry, I'm just going to throw some random thoughts out there, and next time (which hopefully won't be so far away) I'll have a proper entry.

- OK, I know the Oscars were a long time ago, and I had intended on writing an entire entry commenting on what I thought. So, I'll just summarize it here. The best movie won. That's my opinion. Yes, Brokeback Mountain was groundbreaking, and it was a good movie. But when I left the theater, it didn't make that much of an impression on me. Crash, however, left me thinking long after I saw it. Plus, with Brokeback, it wasn't like there were a lot of instances where you could tell that Jack and Ennis were a couple: one sex scene, one lengthy makeout scene, but that's about all. That doesn't really equal love for me. But, it's just my opinion, and I'll leave it at that.

- The other day, I was clipping a stray hair from my eyebrows and I was left wondering what is the point of having eyebrows. They really don't seem to have a real purpose. If anyone wants to clue me in, feel free.

- Last week was incredibly tiring. The other TA for METEO 3 had to have emergency surgery, which I found out about Monday night, so I volunteered to cover her classes last week. Unfortunately, there are three labs on Tuesday and they are back to back from 11:15 until 5:30. So, I was very, very tired at the end of the day. Then I had to teach two more on Wednesday. I think I'm just too nice for my own good. And that I seriously overestimate my endurance for teaching. It's finally been worked out that I won't have to do that for the rest of the semester, so I'm happy about that, but I do think I should get some sort of bonus. Or something more than a "thank you" for doing twice the amount of work that I should have done. Of course, I may be being just a little selfish....

- Speaking of teaching, there was this one kid in my morning lab on Wednesday who was being quite the bitch. I took two points off of her lab because she forgot to label her isopleths, but she had everything else perfect. And she has the gall to try to get those points back. Well, I wasn't about to back down, and then she just sat in a huff and complained that she doesn't care anymore. Well, boo-freakin-hoo. I don't know how many times I've told people to label their isopleths, but still people forget. Of course, as I was grading her lab this weekend, I took a little more pleasure in taking off points. And if she doesn't watch it, I may just make a little mistake in calculating the grades. The lesson here: don't piss me off. I'm a scorpio, and once people get on my bad side, they stay there for a good long time.

- I finally got to play poker again on Thursday. It's been such a long time. We were supposed to play seven card stud, but we didn't really have enough people. So we went back to Texas Hold 'Em. Unfortunately, I wasn't catching any cards, so I didn't make it as far as I would have liked. What can I do, though? Luck wasn't with me that night.

- I had a team meeting a week ago, with everyone that is working on the carbon budget on the east coast continental shelf. I gave a presentation, and I seemed to get good reviews and feedback from people. That made me feel validated, and not like an utter waste of space that a certain other professor made me feel. I'm still a little bitter about that. Seriously, he bases his email on one presentation. I'd like to see him make another conclusion in his research using one data point. He would never do that! But whatever. I don't have to please him. This whole debacle made me decide not to have him on my committee. That's all there is to it. I'd rather have people who will give constructive criticism, and he doesn't really do that well. To paraphrase Rory from Gilmore Girls, he had all the tact of a Nazi storm trooper. (That's a double insult because he is German.)

- I can't believe it's April already. Where has the time gone? It seems like time goes faster and faster as I get older. I'd love for it to slow down a bit. I know it won't, but it would be nice.

- I've become addicted to playing speed online. It's at superarcade.com. It's just like what I used to play as an undergrad with a friend between our lecture class and the lab. So much fun! It doesn't take a whole lot of strategy, just speed (hence the name) and luck. One time I was playing it online and I got nearly to level 30. I haven't been able to get nearly that far lately, though.

Well, I guess that's it. I'm toying with the idea of creating another blog for some commentary I write about the soaps I watch. (Yes, I like daytime dramas.... ) We'll see, though. I may not have enough time to keep it going, but I think it would be fun, as long as it doesn't get to drama filled between commentors. I'll put it in the sidebar if I do create one. And with that, I'm going to stop typing.

Another Rant

2006-03-21T18:21:00.000-06:00

It's been a while since I posted, and I feel compelled to write this out in order to get over it. So, here goes.

Today I had to give a group meeting talk, which is usually no big deal. We get up there, talk about whatever we're doing, and get feedback from the group (usually only the professors). So, today I decided to present stuff on the various talks I went to at the Ocean Science meeting. This was mainly because since I got back, I've either been teaching or grading, with a week off for spring break (I had to go visit my family since I haven't been home since Christmas). So, I put together what was a pretty good talk about the different causes of hypoxia and regions where hypoxia was prevalent.

So, I finished arranging the slides for my talk at about noon, and the meeting starts at 12:30. Usually I'm a bit more prepared, but having the meetings on Tuesday is throwing me off a bit. The first thing that pissed me off was that the one professor there (I'm not naming names to avoid that professor accidentally stumbling across my blog, not that he would do anything for fun on the internet) was basically not paying any attention to what I was saying. He'd be looking around the room, looking incredibly disinterested. I think that's incredibly rude. The least he could do is pay attention or zone out while facing the front.

Anyway, I had to rush back from the meeting to get ready to teach. Damn them for making the meeting later so I have to rush around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I taught what I felt was one of the best lectures I've given, and then I go back to my office. A student came with me because she wanted help on the lab, which I'm always willing to do. After helping her, I went to check my email, and one of the messages is from the professor in question. He basically wrote that we should be better prepared for our talks and make them relevant to our research. I'm thinking that the message was directed at me, but sent to the entire group that goes to these meetings (about 10 people in all). And then, as a final little jab, he says that "many of [us] give excellent talks."

Now, I don't care if he doesn't like my talk. I thought it was interesting, and it actually garnered more questions than the typical presentations. Especially this professor's, who like to make people feel ignorant at the end of the talk. The thing that irks me most is that he didn't have to common courtesy to confront me one on one. Nor did he have the tact to state things a little more nicely. And the fact that he sent it to everyone in the group is a bit cowardly.

So, frankly, I'm pretty pissed off at him at the moment. I'm starting to calm down about it, but it just annoys me when people make me feel less than worthy of their support, or even attention. It's not like I need any help in that department, with the depression and all.

But, basically my feeling that I don't care if he likes my talk or not. My feeling is that the talk, while being scientific, should also be interesting. Most of the time I see talks that meet the first goal, but overall, the majority of the talks I've seen aren't all that interesting. Basically, he can go *&#% himself for all I care.

OK, I'm done ranting now. I return you to your regular programming.

Teaching Rant

2006-03-13T22:50:00.000-06:00

My first post back from spring break was actually going to be about the Oscars, but I just have to put in a little rant about the labs I'm teaching. So, here goes.

I'm catching up on my grading because I was out of town on a conference for a week and then there was spring break. So, I had three labs to grade during spring break, which I didn't quite get done because I wanted to enjoy my break a little bit. Anyway, while I was gone, my labs had two assignments to do, and I was being nice and giving them until I got back to do them and turn them in. At least I thought I was being nice to them. They, however, proceeded to punish me by either not doing the labs and still handing them in, or by doing them so convolutedly that I can't tell what the hell they're thinking.

I realize that all humans beings are natural procrastinators. I wouldn't have the Procrastinator's Creed on the wall above my computer if I didn't know that. However, I would have thought that by the time people reach the college level, they'd at least be able to realize how much time they're going to need to spend on any given assignment and devote that much of their lives to getting it done well. Of course, this is a general education course I'm talking about, so most of the students are just taking it to fulfill university requirements and therefore don't give a flying rat's ass about how well they do in it, so long as they pass the course. So, I guess I'm not completely surprised that many people didn't finish their assignments.

I think the thing that irritates me the most is that people didn't even ask for help. I told them that lab was optional the week I was gone, and they probably stopped listening to me list the times and places the lecturer was going to be there, thus not even knowing that there was going to be help available. And, from what he told me, two people showed up to each of the three available times. I also told them I'd be checking my email regularly while I was away, and I hardly heard anything from anyone. So, the opportunity to have questions answered passed by and they ended up screwing themselves, and pissing me off in the process. And there, they are screwing themselves even more because when I get irritated by what I'm grading, I tend to become less impartial and less forgiving of mistakes. I know I shouldn't be like that, but I can't help it. I'm a hard grader to begin with. I know this well, because I always get students complaining on the evaluations about how tough I grade (and some even grudgingly admit that they learned from it, even though that was only in the dynamics class.... the kids I teach this semester probably don't care if they learn from my grading). But, they're just making it harder for themselves.

Anyway, I just had to rant about that. I told my lab today that I was pretty disappointed with them and their performance. And my labs during the next two days are going to be hearing the same thing because I am disappointed. I realize the labs that they had to do while I was gone aren't exactly using easy to understand concepts, but they still could have made better use of their numerous resources instead of waiting until the last minute to do the lab.

Well, after all that, I'm heading to bed and hoping tomorrow brings a better round of grading. I don't have a lot of hope, but I do have some, which is good, I guess.

Passing on a meme....

2006-03-03T10:20:00.000-06:00

I've kind of been putting this off for a while now. I've been memed by Josh, and this is the first time that I've had a lot of time to search for pictures to use in it. Here's what this particular meme is asking for:

The person who's been memed thinks of 3-5 movies that make them weep. Like really weep. Then that person goes to Google images and finds a pic from the movie that doesn't totally give it away, and paste the image into his/her blog. Then, the memed one highlights the pic and creates a link to the movie's IMDB page (that way, if someone doesn't know what movie the pic is from, they can click on the picture and it'll take them to IMDB so they can find out!). The final step is that the memed becomes the memer.

I'm modifying this a bit. Instead of limiting it to movies, I'm including pictures from episodes of TV shows that have made me cry. There are a couple reasons for this. One, I don't want to copy other people's movies that they've already used. Two, I tend to be much more invested in the characters on longer-running TV shows than I am in movies. Three, I've seen some sad movies recently, but none of them have made me cry. I just haven't been able to recently for some reason. I'm also not linking these to the IMDB pages. I'll have people make guesses for them and then tell them if they're right. (The TV episodes should be really easy for Karen, especially, since we both have the same fondness for a show in particular.)

I only have three pictures for this. I wanted to include more, but it's damn near impossible to find images from the soap episodes that have made me really cry.

I guess I have to pass this meme on to some people. Since there are only two people whose blogs I link to that actually know they're linked on my blog, this meme goes to:

Karen

Steve

So, on with the pictures....

1.) Even though I am not a huge fan of this movie, it did still make me cry.....

2.) TV show episode #1: I don't know how anyone couldn't cry during this episode....

3.) TV episode #2: Same show, different episode....

OK, have fun with this! :)

What I did on my trip to Hawaii

2006-02-26T21:22:00.000-06:00

I got back from Hawaii late this afternoon. Overall it was a pretty nice trip, although there were a few rough patches here and there, which I'll outline in detail in this entry.

I left last Saturday at 6 AM. If you know me, you know that I'm not a morning person whatsoever. So, the whole being up and coherent enough to board a plane was a bit difficult. But, once I got on (after going through security twice because I left a shaving knife in my travel grooming kit completely unintentionally) the flights themselves went fairly smoothly. I flew to Detroit, which isn't new to me. I've been to that airport several times. From there I went to LAX. I always pictured LAX to be this really big airport with hundreds of gates spanning as far as the eye can see. I was rather disappointed with the reality. The terminal I was in had maybe eight gates, and not a whole lot to choose from foodwise. I did have to eat something, though, because apparently serving meals on a longish flight has become a thing of the past. So, I bought some terribly overpriced Burger King food, and then went to a gift shop to buy some snacky-type foods for the flight to Honolulu. I had plenty of time to do all this because my flight from LAX was delayed. So, even with getting there an hour later than anticipated (due to strong headwinds), I ended up having a longer layover than I was originally intended to have. After that, the flight to Honolulu was pretty smooth as well. I slept for part of it, because I just couldn't stay awake much longer. When I got to Honolulu, I had to wait quite some time for my luggage to make it to the baggage claim, and then I took a shuttle, which apparently stops at just about every hotel in Waikiki. I think I got to the hotel around 10 PM Hawaii time, which would be 3 AM eastern. So, I was pretty damn tired and all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep.

The following day was just a relaxing walk around Waikiki day. I went to the Honolulu zoo (which isn't very impressive compared to the Milwaukee County Zoo or the NEW (Northeast Wisconsin) Zoo) and spent some time looking at animals and taking pictures, because I tend to be very touristy when I go places. They were also having an art show along the beach, so I walked around there to see the different things that were available. Following that, Katie and I, since I was sharing the hotel room with her, went to the opening reception for the Ocean Science meeting, which involved free beer. I couldn't pass up anything free. I am a college student after all. Then I tried to get my materials for the meeting, which at first I thought would be a breeze because the "S" line was very short. This was very impressive since last names that begin with S seem to be very, very common. However, when I got there, after spelling my name to the person manning that line at least five times, my registration was nowhere to be found. So, I went to the Information booth and asked about it. The girl at that booth told me that just because I submitted an abstract doesn't mean I've registered. I thought to myself, "No shit, Sherlock." She then proceeded to tell me, in a very condescending, bitchy way, that I needed to bring proof of my registration in order to actually register. So, I was a bit flustered, and pissed off that I couldn't just register nice and neatly and be done with it. After that, Katie and I met up with someone she met on the plane, who was also going to the same conference and we (with some of his friends) went to TGIFridays for dinner. I wasn't all that hungry because I had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, so I just had a drink and watched them all eat. That ended that evening.

Monday morning I was up relatively early and on the phone with Diane from the Meteo Department to get her to fax me the webpage that said I had registered. I did that and went to the convention center and showed it to the people at the information booth. This time the actual organizer of the meeting was there, and it was determined that just because I had that page didn't mean I actually registered. Basically, something happened with the transaction so that the fee didn't get submitted to them. So, they made me fill out a lost registration form and I'll have to email them telling them that they should contact Diane for payment. That took up most of the morning. Because of that, I missed out on going to Pearl Harbor, but I wasn't going to let it completely ruin my day. I decided, on the spur of the moment, that I would take a bus to the North Shore to see what the beaches looked like up there. It's so much nicer there than in Waikiki, mainly because it's less touristy. I went to Sunset Beach that day and took several pictures of the scenery and avoided some rain. Then I went back and caught a bus that had the same number route as the one I rode there on, expecting it to go back the way it came. Little did I know that the bus changed route numbers and went around the island on the other side. So, I unfortunately missed out on the poster session that day (although I did look at the important ones before I left, those being Katie's and Kathy's) but it was worth it. Plus, it's a very cheap way to see much of the island. That took up the rest of my day.

Tuesday was my day in the spotlight to present my poster. Unfortunately, I had to have it put up by 8:30 AM. But, that gave me time to talk with some of the US ECoS people beforehand. I talked extensively with one of the team members and we're collaborating to write a paper together describing the climatologies of oxygen along much of the east coast of North America. So, that was pretty cool. Then in between the oral carbon cycle sessions (which I didn't really gain a lot from) I was chatting with one of the other team members that I just connected with the first time I met her. So, that was pretty fun. Then, all of a sudden, it was time to go to stand by my poster. I had a pretty steady flow of people that wanted to chat about my work, which was nice. I even talked to a prominent NSF guy who basically encouraged me to keep going with my work, which was very nice. The two hours for the poster session seemed to go very fast, though. After that, I went out to eat with some members of the US ECoS team, and we got caught in a significant downpour. I even saw some flashes of lightning. Seriously, the first few days I was there, I felt like I was in a warmer version of State College, because it seemed to be cloudy all the time. Dinner was fun, though. Then we went to Cold Stone Creamery for dessert, and then I caught a bus to get back to the hotel room.

Wednesday was another day I needed to go to the oral session on the carbon cycle. So, I did that for most of the day and then went to the poster session to look at what other people were doing. I found a couple posters on turbulence that I found very interesting, so I chatted with those people for a bit. Then I went to the exhibitioners to see what sorts of free stuff I could collect. It was a little disappointing, though. I only got a couple pens, some pamphlets, and a small fish and dolphin (fake, of course). After that, Katie and I went out for Thai food, which was nice. It was sort of a bonding moment, where we chatted about lots of different things. It was definitely a good time. Then we got back to the hotel room in time to watch a repeat of the pilot of Lost, which happened to be pretty much the only TV we watched, but since Lost is filmed on Oahu, we wanted to see it. Plus, Katie hadn't become addicted to Lost yet, although she's gottened hooked just by the pilot.

Thursday I decided to take the morning off and go back to the North Shore. There wasn't much going on at the conference that I was incredibly interested in. Plus, I saw that there was a high surf advisory for the northern parts of all the islands of Hawaii, so I figured the waves would be pretty impressive. They definitely were. I sat on the beach and got lost in them, not literally, though. I even kind of ignored the book I brought along to read and just watched the water. It's such a calming thing. It made me realize that I really need to live near a body of water after I finish grad school. Some of the waves were so impressive that I climbed up on some of the rocks to get a good picture of a splash hitting them. I hope those turn out well. After the beach, I went to the poster session and had a wonderful discussion with a professor sutdying hypoxia in the Hood Canal in Washington. It was really nice, and I even got her card so we could continue to correspond with each other. Since my research is hopefully going to go in that direction, it was very good to make contact with someone whose doing similar research as I am. After the poster session, they had an aloha reception on the roof of the convention center. I went there because it was free food. They had some wonderful fruit and several roasted pigs. It was very yummy food. After that, since it was a beautiful night, I walked back to the hotel on the main street by the beach. There were some interesting sights there, mainly from various street performers. It was pretty cool.

Friday was a relatively slow day. I only went to the couple afternoon oral sessions, which were very interesting, dealing with hypoxia and how it's model, some data that's been analyzed, and how it affects biology across the food chain. It was very interesting stuff. After that, Katie and I were planning on going to dinner and see a jazz show. We went to dinner at Ciao Mein, and Italian/Chinese restaurant. Very good food, but my eyes were bigger than my stomach. Then the club we wanted to go to had a dress code (collared shirt and pants for a guy), so we walked along the main drag and went into various stores looking for a cheap collared shirt for me. We were having so much fun window shopping that we lost track of time and never made it to the jazz show.

Saturday was my last day in Hawaii. I had a late afternoon flight out, so I wanted to wear myself out a bit. I decided that I'd go climb Diamond Head, a dormant volcano from the top of which you get a 360 degree few of Oahu. That was quite the hike, proving that I should probably get in better shape. But the view from the top was totally worth it. After that, I went back to the hotel and got ready for my shuttle to take me to the airport.

This is when things started to get a little frustrating. First of all, I looked at my itinerary and saw that I was flying Northwest again on the way home. So, I told the shuttle driver to drop me off at the Northwest check-in gate. So, I ran my checked bag through their agriculture scanner (the Hawaiians are very particular about letting their fruit out of the country). Then I went up and tried to check in for my flight, but the self-serve screen wasn't working for me. So, the lady came up to me and said that I had to go to Delta because that's who was flying to Atlanta instead of Northwest (which is just confusing for me). Delta, of course, was way on the other end of the airport. So, I'm scurrying there and get to the self-check-in kiosks, and they tell me that I have to run my checked luggage through the agriculture scanner for Delta now, because apparently I can get fruit somewhere between those two gates. So, I did that and got all checked in. Then I went through security and got asked if my carry-on could be opened. I had no idea why they'd need to do this, since I left the grooming kit in my checked bag. So, I said fine, and the guy that went through it took out my keys and said that that may be what was confusing the person looking at the x-ray, and he specifically held the bottle opener on my keyring. So, he ran the bag and my keys through separately, and then told me I was fine to go. Why he needed to do that is beyond me. I mean, seriously, what harm am I going to do with a bottle opener?!?! So, then I finally make it to my gate and find out that the flight is full, so I can only have two carry-on bags. So, I ended up having to check my poster in since I didn't want to check anything else. After all that I get on the plane and we take off for Atlanta. This time we got a meal and everything was pretty good. I tried to sleep as much as possible, even with a kid crying in the background and the parents apparently doing nothing to shut the kid up. But, I must have slept some, because I was woken up by the attendants serving a breakfast snack. My layover in Atlanta was a bit long, but not too hectic, except that the staff couldn't decide which gate we were really leaving from. Once I got on the plane, I pretty much passed out because I needed more sleep. Suddenly we were in Detroit. I had a semi-long layover there, and then boarded the plane to State College. This is where things get pretty hairy. Once we got in the air, things were fine, not too turbulent. But, when we were landing in State College, things got really bumpy, and due to probably a combination of factors, including jet lag, not enough sleep, and having just enough food to make me queasy, I got airsick. Pretty badly, I must say. It came on all of a sudden, too. Plus, I don't think there was a bag in the pouch in front of me. Of course, it came on so suddenly (and I was trying very hard not to actually vomit) that I couldn't have been sure. But, yeah, that was a great capper to the whole airline experience. Luckily, the people sitting across the aisle from me (I was alone on one side of the plane, fortunately) were very helpful, and the guy even gave me his jacket because mine was kind of ruined. So, needless to say, I'm not planning any flying adventures anytime in the near future, not only because I got sick, but because I've seen way too many airplanes and airports in the past week.

So, that was my trip to Hawaii. Most of it was fun, but I'm really glad to be home. Now, I need to get enough sleep tonight so that I'm sort of coherent enough to teach tomorrow. With that, I'm off to bed!

One Down, One to Go

2006-02-08T14:27:00.000-06:00

This time I got significantly better results of my candidacy exam. I passed one section and failed the other. I'm just glad I got one of them down. You can't imagine how much relief I feel now!

The section I passed was the dynamics section. Dr. Shirer said I did significantly better on that section than I did last time, so that was good news to hear. I still have to retake the physics, which I'm not thrilled about, but I'm happy nonetheless!

Now I'm heading home and relaxing for the rest of the night.

D-Day Eve

2006-02-07T21:53:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow's the day. I find out how I did on the candidacy exam for the second time. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I've had this panicky feeling since I found out that the faculty meeting to discuss the candidacy exam is tomorrow. (I found this out about a week ago.) When I first got the email, a wave of feelings swept through me. Excitement, dread, delirium, panic were all swirling around my head. Mainly that combination of so many emotions left me feeling a little nauseated.

So, I've been feeling that way for about a week now. Not all the time, but fairly often. Usually at times I can put it aside for the sake of doing something else. However, today has been a rather rough day. Actually from about 3:30 on has been rough. I finished teaching at 3:20, then went back to my office. At that point I got a terribly bad headache and started feeling a bit queasy. So, I decided to catch a bus to get my car so I could come back to my apartment and try to not think about what's coming tomorrow. I did that relatively well, but now that it's close to bed time, I can't stop thinking about it.

Part of me doesn't want to go to sleep because then tomorrow will just come sooner, and I'm just fearing the worst: that I won't pass yet again, and they're going to kick me out of the department. Of course, interspersed with that are feelings of confidence. OK, maybe not confidence, but at least some hope that I'll get good news. I'm trying to not get my hopes up, because I let my hopes fly too high last time, and the crash and burn from that was nearly too much to handle. I don't know if I can deal rationally with that kind of disappointment once again. I really don't. Luckily, I do have my weekly therapy appointment tomorrow, so whatever news I get, I can start to process in therapy. But still, the anticipation is killing me.

I really wish that they wouldn't have told us so far in advance about the faculty meeting tomorrow. I don't know if it would have been better hearing it with only one day's warning, though. The only thing that would have done was ease the concern about that for about six days.

I swear, some of the faculty get off on torturing us students. Not only do they make us take a hellish exam, but then we have to wait weeks on end to find out the results. Then the only information we get is if we pass or fail. We have to wait several more weeks to get feedback on all the questions we answered because the graders want to remain anonymous. That part does make sense. Having it be a double blind test is a good way to deal with it. However, we students are still getting the short end of the stick because our answers don't get typed up. So, any faculty that may have had us in a class might be able to identify our handwriting. I doubt that, but it is possible. But the professor's comments get typed up so the students don't have a chance to say that one professor hated them and wanted them to get out of grad school. Still, though, I think it could be slightly more fair.

I just don't know what to expect though. Plus, I don't want to go to sleep. As much as I've wanted to get my results, I didn't expect them to come out this soon. I almost want to postpone the inevitable.

The only thing that's keeping me relatively sane with regards to this test is that I know I walked out of both days of it feeling like I put 110% into each section. So even if I fail, I can hold my head up high. At least theoretically, anyway. If I do fail, I may not be able to hold my head at all. I may just bash it into the nearest wall.

Another thing that's getting to me is that the faculty meeting, again, is coming at a time when my advisor isn't hear. So, I really have no one to stick up for me, should it come down to it. I mean, sure, some of the other professors want me to pass, but I don't think that would carry as much weight as it would if it were my advisor talking. So, I'm a little annoyed by that.

But, on the other hand, pass or fail, I'm going to be in Hawaii in less than two weeks. That will either be a nice reward for doing well, or my last hurrah before finishing up the work I'm being paid for before making my way into the work force.

Now I should get to bed, so this whole waiting thing can be over. Of course, I still have to wait until noon to get the results (damn teaching getting in the way of things), but at least my mind will be semi-occupied during the morning. Alrighty, off to bed to try to get a decent night's sleep. I have a feeling that will be rather futile, but I've got to try. An update will come tomorrow with the news, good or bad.....

Chuckles while grading

2006-02-04T15:14:00.000-06:00

I have to post this entry now, while I am grading, because one of my students answers on a lab question is too hilarious. The question is about the influence of water and latitude on the annual temperature range, and they have to match cities with pairs of summer and winter temperatures. (Karen should remember this one.) One of the cities listed is Seattle, and one student put this for part of the reason (he got the actual reasons right):

"Also, there are more Starbucks in Seattle than the rest of the world all over, so the coffee helps with the temperature as well..."

I actually laughed out loud when I read this one. I needed that laugh because sometimes grading these kids' labs gets a bit annoying for lack of a better word. Anyway, I enjoyed that and had to post it before I forgot.

New Link

2006-02-03T14:00:00.000-06:00

Yes, I just posted an incredibly long-winded entry just a few minutes ago, but I forgot something. For those who regularly look at this blog (the few of you who do), I've added a new link to my fun links section. It's called Cute Overload. It has the cutest pictures of animals that I've ever seen. You could almost get a sugar rush from them, that's how sweet they are. So, if you like cute animals, take a look. OK, I'm done now.

Another Random Thoughts Post

2006-02-03T13:08:00.000-06:00

I'm writing this post mainly to avoid getting too bored while waiting for my Matlab code to run. It's rather silly to use Matlab to process a boatload of data, but I hate Fortran, so I'm willing to deal with waiting an extraordinary amount of time for code to run. Anyway, I've had a lot of random thoughts lately, and figured I might as well post them now.

- The other day I woke up to the radio playing (I hate getting up with an annoying beeping sound) and they were playing one of Sheryl Crow's songs, Good is Good. The opening line is "Good is good and bad is bad." Even with being rather incoherent when I wake up, I thought that that statement was completely stating the obvious. I was like, "Well, duh," when I heard them. I had started out thinking that those were the stupidest lyrics I've ever heard, but them remembered a different song that was relatively popular several years ago: LFO's Summer Girls. That song qualifies as the dumbest song ever to be recorded. It's like that group didn't even care if their song made any sense. I hated that song so much!! Mainly because I'm one who actually listens to lyrics, at least when singers enunciate them enough. Anyway, that's just a rant.

- Gilmore Girls was amazingly good this week, especially the last twenty minutes or so. There isn't much to spoil about it. Basically it was a fight among Rory, Lorelai, Emily, and Richard about what's happened previously in this season. But, it wasn't all fight. It was just completely different from previous episodes, but so very good. I can't understand why more people don't watch it, besides the fact that it's on the WB. I also recently read a fascinating plot twist that's coming up, which is that Richard was a member of the Life and Death Brigade when he was at Yale. The fallout from that will be very interesting to see. I just realized that this random thought probably has no bearing on anyone that reads my blog, but hey, it's interesting for me, and that's what matters, right?

- I went to see Brokeback Mountain last weekend. It's a very good movie. Great story, great direction, great acting. I can definitely see why it's winning so many awards. However, it didn't really come as a surprise to me that the cast of Crash won the SAG award for best ensemble. At this moment, for me, there is a tie between these two movies for best picture of the year, hell, even ever. The cast in Crash was amazing, and I loved the way everyone's story was tied to someone else's. Both of them are great movies, and they're both nominated for Best Picture. I'd be thrilled if either one won, but I'd prefer Brokeback to win, just because it would be nice to see people recognize that that movie is a traditional love story, even if it is a love story of two guys.

- I get the results of my candidacy exam next Wednesday. Frankly, I'm very surprised that they're ready this early. The faculty aren't exactly the swiftest when it comes to getting feedback. When I got the email, I was feeling a whole slew of emotions. Mainly, though, I felt a little nauseated, just because I have both great hope and great fear about what the results will be. Everyone keeps telling me I'll be fine, but I don't have that much faith in myself. Hey, it comes with being a pessimist. I'm really hoping to get good news, but I'm also trying to keep my expectations low, only because I know what a crushing blow it is to have high expectations and have them shattered. That's how I felt the last time I took the test. So, I guess we'll see what happens.

- I sent in a proposal for a fellowship on Tuesday. Ray was encouraging me to apply because the research I'm doing fits in nicely with the goals of this particular NASA program. So, most of Monday was spent writing up the proposal, which was really hard work, but I think I ended up with a decent piece of writing. It was such a hassle getting it in, though, because they encouraged people to use their online system, which is what they'll exclusively be using next year. So, basically we were their beta testers, which I always hate being. That system that they have is very un-user-friendly. It seriously took forever to get anything done with it. I hope they do something to make it easier to use by next year.

- I've been very anti-social of late. I'm not sure why. Well, actually, that's not entirely true. I know I'm not the most social person out there. Anyone that knows me knows that. I'm perfectly comfortable sitting at home watching TV or curling up with a good book. But lately, people have just been getting on my nerves. Not so much people I know, but random people in the store. I swear, half the time I'm just about ready to punch people because they're being stupid. But, that's not really the problem. I just haven't felt like hanging out with other people. I'm sort of in my loner/broody phase. It doesn't help that my circle of friends if very dynamic, in that it changes quite often. Now I'm working on building a new circle, but that takes time for me. Plus, February is notoriously a bad month for me. Too many emotional things to deal with. This year, I get the added bonus of stressing about candidacy exam results and going to a conference. So, basically I'm on one hell of an emotional roller coaster until March, really. It kind of sucks, but what can I do?

- Speaking of the conferences coming up. Two weeks from tomorrow I'll be on my way to Hawaii!! I can't wait. Yes, it's for a conference, but I definitely am going to enjoy my stay there too. Maybe spend some time on the beach (with lots of sunblock because I burn incredibly easily). I'm of course going to go to the Hard Rock in Honolulu, just because. I'd love to go to Pearl Harbor, just to be historical. And it looks like there's a hiking trail up a mountain near Waikiki that I'd like to go on, but I'd probably have to get hiking boots for that, so that may be a no-go. I'm also kind of hoping to see an eruption in the distance just to take a picture of it. I'd like to do more touristy stuff, too, like go to their zoo, a few museums, maybe go to the north shore, etc. And it would be so great to see anyone from the cast of Lost. That would be so cool!! It should be a good time, regardless, though.

- Speaking of Lost, I was a little upset that they were showing a rerun this week. I thought in the week leading into February sweeps they would have shown a new episode. But, of any of the episodes they could have shown, I'm glad it was the first Hurley-centric episode. I don't know why, but I find parts of it very funny. Of course, I have a dark sense of humor sometimes. I did have a thought occur to me when Hurley's money manager was telling him that he owned a box company. I'm wondering if that was the same box company that Locke was employed at. I think Locke worked at a box company, anyway. They do like to have people interconnected like that. It's just a thought, and anyone that reads this that watches Lost is welcome to comment on my speculation.

- Invasion was a rerun, too, and I was sort of hoping it would be one that I haven't seen yet, but alas, it was. I ended up sleeping through most of it.

- I've also become addicted to Dancing with the Stars. Most of the time I have not watched a reality show, mainly because I think they're stupid, but this one is actually fun to watch, at least the dancing portion is. I don't watch the result show, because I hate how they can drag out saying which couple got the fewest votes for so long. That's the thing I hate about American Idol, too. I know it's to add drama, but it just annoys the hell out of me. They could spend five minutes doing the results, and then move on. Anyway, I'm just ranting there, so I'll stop now.

- This weekend is Super Bowl weekend, and apparently any local channel won't let us forget that the Steelers are in it this year. Frankly, I don't really give a damn either way about who wins. I'm not a huge Steelers fan (I only rooted for them last year because I lived with two major Steeler fans), and I don't really like the Seahawks either, because Holmgren turned into an ass at Green Bay before he took the job in Seattle. So, I guess I'll just be watching for the commercials. I was invited through someone to a Super Bowl party, where they're having turducken (which just sounds like a weird thing to even contemplate creating, but better sounding than tofurkey), but like I said before, I'm feeling relatively anti-social lately. So, I probably won't go. We'll see, though.

Well, I guess that's about it from me, at least for now. I'll probably leave Walker pretty soon and head home, and maybe take a nap. Either that, or crash in front of the TV for the night. Either way, it'll be nice and relaxing.

State of the Union

2006-02-01T08:11:00.000-06:00

This is going to be relatively short post for right now, mainly about the State of the Union address. I just took a poll on CNN.com asking about how I feel about the sountry after the State of the Union address. Since I didn't watch it, I clicked that radio button. When the results came up, nearly half the people taking the poll didn't watch it. It's pretty sad that more people didn't watch Bush's speech. (I have my priorities, a.k.a. my TV shows to watch. I'll probably read the transcript of the address, or maybe just a list of key points.) You'd think more people would be enthused about politics. Although, at this point in his second term, I think a good portion of America is unhappy with the direction the country is going. I know I am.

Anyway, that's all I'm going to say for now. I have a really busy Wednesday ahead of me.

My thoughts on recent controversy

2006-01-27T14:32:00.000-06:00

Here I am sitting in front of the computer in my office, waiting for Matlab to process code yet again, so I've decided to write another post, mainly on controversial topics that are currently regaining controversy due to news coverage.

The first of which is the abortion debate. Here's where I stand on that subject. I'm pro-choice. I know, that's not entirely surprising, since I'm quite leftist. However, I don't mean to say that women deciding to have an abortion should enter into it lightly. I'd much prefer some other option, if possible. Of course, if giving birth would harm/kill the mother, or if the child was a product of rape, an abortion is probably a likely outcome. However, a woman that becomes pregnant by having indiscriminate, unprotected sex should not just have an abortion on a whim. They really need to think about whether they can handle having a child, or if they'd want to give a child up for adoption, or many other things.

Having said that, I still am pro-choice, because I feel that women should have a choice. I also think that some people are just not meant to be parents. Of course, lately, just about everyone I've seen with kids are not good parents. (Seriously, go to any store and just watch what parents let their kids get away with.) Part of this is due to society. It's almost as if punishing kids is a faux pas. If you spank a child, you could almost get sent to prison for child abuse. And what, really, is a "time-out" going to teach a child? But, here I go off on a tangent that really could be saved for a different post.

Back to the abortion issue and what's going on with the Alito hearings.... I read relatively recently that Bush is touting that soon abortion will be illegal, as part of his "morals-based" political stance. (Don't even get me started on how hypocritical that is.) Mainly, he's saying that Roe v. Wade will be overturned, thus making abortion illegal. I think this is one of the stupidest things the Supreme Court could do. I say this because some women are going to want to have an abortion, no matter what the law is. So, my feeling is that if a woman is going to have an abortion, wouldn't it make more sense for them to have the procedure done safely, by a doctor? If abortion is illegal, women who want to terminate a pregnancy would have to come up with other ways to do it, most of them likely to be harmful to these women. It's going to happen no matter what, illegal or not. I just don't see how overturning Roe v. Wade would be a good idea, even for the Bible-thumping followers of Bush. Yes, it's immoral in Christianity to have an abortion, but so are a lot of things. (That's the thing about Catholicism, specifically. People pick and choose what things in the Bible should be followed. You can't have it both ways, people!)

That's just my take on this. And if Alito does get confirmed to the Supreme Court, I think the country is heading for trouble. Hell, from what I've been hearing (and granted, I listen to mainly left-biased news) the president could gain power if Alito does get confirmed. And considering how well off the country is at the moment, I'm a little scared by what could happen if Bush gets his way with his nomination.

Another controversial thing lately is the whole James Frey basically writing a novel, for all intents and purposes. I heard that Oprah yesterday was very good with Oprah basically berating Frey about how factual his book was. I saw some of it on Anderson Cooper 360 last night, and I just have to say, go Oprah! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And she proved it. Boy, I'm surprised she kept as calm as she did. I could have easily seen her show turn into some sort of Jerry Springer incarnation. I'm glad she kept it relatively civil, and not started bitch-slapping him. I also am glad that she wasn't afraid to say she made a mistake. It's so refreshing to hear that.

The last controversial thing I want ot mention in this post is about Brokeback Mountain. The only thing I want to say is that it's finally come to State College. I'm not surprised it took this long, because central Pennsylvania is basically Alabama in between to relatively urban areas. I guess they finally brought it here because it's winning awards. The theaters around here seem to do that with smaller movies like that. I think it took them quite some time to show Crash here, and then it wasn't in theaters very long. I'm a little worried that's what's going to happen with Brokeback. I really, really want to go see it, though. And I may just do that, even if I have to go by myself. I'd much rather go with someone (going to a theater by yourself just seems sad), but if no one wants to go with me, I will go by myself. When is a better question. I will make time for it sometime within the next week, though, because I'm afraid that it won't be showed in theaters here for very long. So, if anyone does want to go with me, feel free to comment and let me know!

Alrighty, my code is done processing, so I'm off to continue working.

Political Tests

2006-01-26T15:51:00.000-06:00

I've been bored for the past hour or so, because I've had to let some code run in Matlab, so I've been playing around on the internet while it runs. I decided to take three political personality tests, just to see where I am in the political spectrum.

According to these tests, the only strict thing I can conclude is that I'm a liberal, which should surprise no one. However, each of the tests I took placed me somewhere different on the liberal spectrum. The world's smallest political quiz (look it up on Google) showed that was was strictly libertarian. That kind of surprised me because I took that quiz a while ago and it told me I was a liberal libertarian. So, I guess my choices have changed since the last time I took the quiz.

Two other quizzes I took were much more involved than the world's smallest political quiz. The first of these, the Political Compass, showed that I was leftist and libertarian. In fact, I was bordering on communism on that quiz. I guess I'm not all that surprised because I think communism, in theory, might be a good thing. However, I don't think it will ever be a good thing in practice, especially in America, where we've become so entrenched in capitalism.

The other lengthy quiz I took was the OKCupid! Politics test, which again can be googled. That one didn't put me so much in the liberal libertarian part of the spectrum, though. It said I was a solid Democrat, which, again, isn't all that surprising if you know me at all. The thing that did surprise me, though, was that I was basically bordering socialism. Although, now that I'm comparing results from the other quizzes, I'm not as surprised. I still think that socialism, in theory, isn't bad. It's just that the people who've put it into practice haven't adhered strictly to the theory of socialism. However, again, I must say that putting socialism into practice in America would be a futile effort. We're much to ensconced in capitalism. And the rich are very used to being rich, while the poor get practically no help whatsoever.

Anyway, I was bored, and wanted to find something to keep my mind occupied while waiting for my code to be done running. And these results seemed interesting enough to write a post about. Plus, it might inspire some people that read this blog to take some of the quizzes and see where they are placed in the political spectrum.

I've already got another post brewing in my head regarding recent goings-on in Congress, but that's another topic for another time. Although I may create another post if my damn code doesn't finish running in a decent amount of time. But, for now, I'm off to patiently wait for my code to stop.

A Little Breather....

2006-01-22T19:07:00.000-06:00

I finally have a little time to write something in here. I swear, ever since I got back here from Christmas at home, I've been pretty much swamped. First, studying for the candidacy exam, then starting to reacquaint myself with the research I'm doing, and recently starting the application process for a fellowship Ray wants me to apply for. It's a wonder that I even get any down time.

Of course, my body has been rebelling a bit by causing me to be very, very exhausted when I get back home after work. I told this to my doctor when I went to see him on Friday because of some jaw pain I have, so I get to have blood drawn tomorrow. Yay. I'm not a big fan of needles in general, so getting blood drawn is always such a fun experience. So, we'll see what the results of that are. Hopefully everything is normal and I'm just tired because of the depression.

I've also decided that I probably need to try some new anti-depressants. The ones I'm on currently don't seem to be working. It could be just that I haven't been on the "theraputic dose" for long enough. I'm not sure, though. I'd just like to feel like a normal human again. I was doing good on Prozac, but I also got the shakes from that. Although, now that I think about it, I've always kind of had a natural shakiness to me, and I think the increased shakiness was due to sitting directly next to my grandmother during both Thanksgiving and Christmas meals. She's not the easiest woman to deal with on the best days. I'll probably talk to the psychiatrist about this and see what he thinks.

Let's see. What else is new with me? I've sent the first draft of my fellowship proposal to Ray today. Hopefully he'll have some time to give some feedback to me, so I can get it ready to be sent out next Wednesday. I think it's pretty good, but I'm sure I should include some stuff in it to more broadly coincide with NASA's objectives. I'm just hoping I won't have to do too much to it before sending it off. At least I'm not as panicky as I was about it anymore. Things are starting to work themselves out. The only part I'm a bit worried about is getting my transcripts from Carroll, because their mail system is less than efficient. Hopefully I will be able to get them. I should probably do a search of my apartment to see if I have a copy of an unoffical one as a backup.

Not a whole lot is new with me lately. I've been making progress at work, which is a good feeling. For a while there, I wasn't making much progress at all because I couldn't figure out what I had done before. But, I finally figured it out early last week, so I'm redoing some stuff that I already did. I'm doing that for two reasons. One is just to familiarize myself with the programs I'd already written. The other is because the criteria for the depth levels over the continental shelf has been changed to accurately depict the same levels the rest of the team is using. I'm also changing some variable so they're not as cumbersome as they originally were, but not too much so that they're not descriptive of what they represent. I'm also putting more comments in my code, because that's the one thing that bothers me about other people's code. So many coders don't give enough explanation to their code. I had that problem with the radar analysis programs I used for my master's work. There weren't enough comments, and many variables had similar names (for example, n, nn, nnn, nnnn, nnnnn), so they made no sense to me. It also got quite confusing when I was trying to search for a certain variable, like nnn in the above example. That's just irritating.

Apparently we're supposed to get 3-7 inches of snow overnight. I'm sort of excited about it because this has been the weirdest January I've ever seen, with it being so warm at all. I'm not complaining, but I've been thinking that it's just wrong to be able to go outside without a coat in the middle of January. However, I won't be thrilled if it ends up being enough to cancel or delay classes. I'm supposed to teach a lab tomorrow that's already behind because we got Martin Luther King Day off. So, I'm really hoping I'll be able to make it out of my parking lot tomorrow. In any normal parking lot, this wouldn't be a problem. Mine, however, has a rather steep hill to go up to get to the main road. So, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Speaking of labs, sort of, I'm pretty impressed with the quality of the work being turned in by the two labs I did teach last week. Most of the people did really well on their labs. No one got a perfect score, but that's because I'm rather picky when it comes to grading. Most people who lost points lost them because they didn't label their isopleths. Without labels, they are just lines on a map that have no meaning. So, I'm sure a lot of people will be pissed that they got points off there, but they'll just have to deal with it and do them better next time. But, even with that, the averages for both labs were pretty high, approximately 43/48. That's pretty good from me, because I'm very anal. So, they should be proud of the work they've done so far, at least most of them. Some people didn't work as hard as others, and hopefully they'll realize that after this lab.

Well, I guess that's about it. I should probably cut this off here before it gets too long. Plus, it's almost time to watch my Sunday night shows. (I have my priorities.) So, I'll end with that, and then see if it starts snowing before I go to bed.

Blogger Anniversary

2006-01-19T22:22:00.000-06:00

Today is my first anniversary of having a blog. Unfortunately, I'm too tired to write too much about it right now, but I thought I should acknowledge it. I'll hopefully write more in the coming days. But, for now, I'm off to bed.

Wiped out

2006-01-17T17:27:00.000-06:00

Today I taught my first Meteo 3 lab of the semester. It went pretty well, even though the students were a bit quieter than I expected them to be. Luckily, everyone had enough time to finish the lab before they left. Well, all those that remembered to bring their books with them. I don't know why some people thought they wouldn't have to have their texts, considering it contains the lab component as well. Anyway, the kids were relatively smart. Many had trouble with isoplething, but I've heard that before, so it wasn't a huge shock to me. I'm still working on the best way to explain it so that people will get it. I haven't quite come up with it yet. However, by the end of class, those students that actually asked about isoplething seemed to be getting the hang of it.

Earlier today I had a slight panic attack. I was looking at info for a fellowship Ray wants me to apply for, and realized that I had two weeks until the deadline to get it to them, and I have so much crap that I need to take care of for that. I need official transcripts from both Carroll and Penn State, an original signed letter of recommendation from Ray, a five-page proposal, and some other junk too. Much of this I'm pretty sure I can get done relatively quickly. However, the one thing that may not work out is the original signed letter from Ray, since he's in Antarctica at the moment. I can't quite figure out how that's going to work. Anyway, after looking at all that I need to do, I started to panic just a little bit, because I have to teach and grade and get research done and not go completely insane. Basically I was on the verge of a major panic attack just because there's more on my plate than I'd like there to be at this point. However, there's not a whole lot I can do. All I can do is try to get everything done on time and see what happens.

The only reason Ray wants me to try for this fellowship is so that I have funding. Granted, that's important and all, but I haven't had much luck in the past with getting fellowships or awards or the like. We'll see, though. I should give it a shot because I'd probably get more from the fellowship than I do getting funded through grants the way it is. The fellowship is worth up to $24,000 per year, so I guess it would be worth my while. However, if I start to feel like my grip on reality is slipping, I may just give up.

Another thing on my mind about applying for this fellowship is that I'm still not quite certain of my future at Penn State. If I didn't pass the candidacy exam, I'm done. So, if I apply for the fellowship and get it, but didn't pass the candidacy exam, I wouldn't know what to do about that. I guess NASA could just take it back and award it to someone else. But I'm not really sure how that would work.

Speaking of the candidacy exam, it really sucks that I have to wait so long for the results. Not only because of the fellowship thing, but also because I need to know if I should renew my lease or not. I suppose I should talk to the rental office to see what they say. All I know is that after 180 days, they automatically renew the lease, and that's coming up pretty quickly. And since I don't know how well I did, I'm not entirely certain I'll need to renew the lease. And if I do renew and then don't pass, then I'll have to go through the trouble of subletting, which will just be an extra pain that I really don't need.

Of course, only time will tell about that.

Anyway, on to some randomness....

The first random thought I have stems from my last entry. I wrote about the stupid signs that are all over PA. I also have to comment on the drivers in this state. I realize that when I'm driving Rt. 119 or Rt. 22, or any of the other non-interstates that you need to take to get just about anywhere from State College, at night, my brights will be needed to see anything that may jump out at me. Most of these routes are pretty much through wilderness with the occasional town scattered throughout. I don't have a problem using my brights, and I'm even kind enough to go back down to regular headlights when I notice cars approaching from the other direction, especially on a two lane road. However, I am incredibly sick of the people who don't realize they're being rude by leaving their brights on, even when people are driving in the opposite lane. I got so pissed off by it on Saturday night, that at one point, I turned my brights back on just to see how they liked it. It took them about two minutes to get the point, but at least they did. I swear, whatever happened to common courtesy??

My second random thought deals with the Oprah book club incident. First of all, I had lost a little respect for her when I went into a Borders before Christmas with Ingrid in Greensburg for our annual Christmas gift exchange. We were walking around just looking at books (trust me, I could spend hours in a bookstore). In the classics section, we saw a three-pack of books by Faulkner that bore Oprah's seal of approval. I know this is just my and her opinion, but I can't understand how Faulkner is considered a good writer. I've only read half of one of his books, and that was The Sound and the Fury, and I hated it. And Oprah's seal of approval covered that book. Seriously, I'm shocked. Of course, it's only my opinion, but I lost just a teeny bit of respect for her. And now with the "embellishment" of a memoir by this James Frey, I'm thinking her book club seal of approval isn't quite cutting it. I'm just a little ticked that a book was sold as non-fiction when parts of it weren't, in fact, true. Non-fiction, to me, means that all the facts presented in the book are real and accurate. Otherwise it's just a story.

My third random thought has to do with the Golden Globes last night. Some of the winners were predictable, like Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix winning for Walk the Line. However, I'm glad that Brokeback Mountain won best drama and best director. I'm also glad that Felicity Huffman won for her role in Transamerica. It's about time that people start recognizing "non-traditional" people, shall we say. I'm not quite sure how to phrase that better, besides saying gays and transsexuals. Anyway, I'm proud of the voters for recognizing films that deal with sensitive issues, considering the America we're living in currently.

I was also quite excited by Sandra Oh's win for Grey's Anatomy. Her acceptance speech was so cute, and she's just a fabulous actress. She makes acting look so easy, and I'm glad other people realized that.

My last random thought, I think, is about something I saw on CNN.com today. There was an article about Hillary Clinton making comments on how the Bush administration is one of the worst, if not the worst administration in American history. All I can say to that is, preach on, Hillary!

With that, I'm off to have some dinner and rest to regain some energy that was used up during teaching today.

It's finally over.....

2006-01-16T18:25:00.000-06:00

It's been a week since I took the candidacy exam, and this is the first day I've really felt somewhat normal again. It's really hard being completely stressed out for weeks on end. I'm so overjoyed that it's over, though. I think part of the reason for that is that I've decided that no matter what the result is, I'm not taking it again. If I pass, obviously I won't have to take it again, and if I fail both sections, I'm just going to leave. The only way I'd take it a third time is if I only pass one of the sections, or if the department makes me an offer I can't refuse if I don't pass either section. I do take some comfort in the fact that I walked out of both sections feeling like I couldn't write down any more than what I did. I think that's a good sign. Now it's all in the graders' hands.

Other than that, not much else has been happening with me lately. I've been kind of zombie mode for a good chunk of the past week. I also had to get reacquainted with my research, which took the better part of a few days. However, I now feel like I can remember what I've actually done and make some decent progress. Of course, I really need to make progress in the next month, since I'm presenting a poster at the Ocean Science Meeting in late February. However, the location is a damn good incentive to actually get work done. Going to Hawaii in February sounds wonderful, even though the weather here hasn't been too terrible lately. (We are supposed to get some ice tomorrow, though, so the previous sentence may be nixed by then.)

Today I spent a good hour or so preparing my lesson for the Meteo 3 kids tomorrow. I'm actually not that stressed out about it because I've taught this stuff before. Plus, all the stuff I need to cover in lab this week is pretty basic stuff. I realize that some of them will have a hard time with isoplething and converting units, but that's what I'm there for. The only thing that is really annoying is that because we had today off for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, one of my labs is behind the other two. So, one day in the near future I'll have to cover twice the material in lab and have them stagger when they hand stuff in. It's not really a big deal, though, because I'm gone for a week for the OS meeting, so all my labs are going to have to do that at some point. It's still annoying, though.

On Saturday I went to Greensburg to visit with Ingrid and just celebrate the fact that the candidacy exam is over. The weather wasn't very pleasant for driving, though. Outside of Altoona, I encountered very strong winds. Then I passed under a sign that has its lights flashing when there are strong cross winds. Every time I see that sign and it's blinking, I have already gone about ten miles before reaching that sign and have already experienced the strong cross winds. It seems like a pointless sign to have where they have it. When I got to places that were more sheltered from the wind, the snow started. It wasn't too bad, mainly because I took it pretty cautiously. I wasn't driving too slowly, but still slow enough to apparently piss people off. But, I'd like to live a little bit longer, so I'm more cautious. Call me crazy about that.

Anyway, I made it to the mall ok, and just people watched until Ingrid got there. Then we got lunch, and walked around the mall for a bit. The White Barn Candle Company (affiliated with Bath & Body Works) was having a semi-annual sale (like most of the mall, it seemed), and they had some of their candles half off, which is quite a sale considering how expensive they normally are. I got a mint chocolate chip ice cream candle. It smells so good. And it makes my mouth water just thinking about it. That was really the only purchase I made. Then we continued to walk around the mall, stopping here and there looking at things and just making idle conversation about the TV shows we watch and stuff of that sort. It was just a good time.

Then we went to see Rumor Has It, which is a very cute movie, but not entirely what the commercials make it out to be. This doesn't really surprise me, though, because commercials rarely show what any movie is really about. I'd still recommend it to anyone to go see it, or at least rent it. I'm just glad it's one of those movies that has an ending. These days it seems that movie makers feel that they can just end movies wherever the hell the feel like it, even if it doesn't feel like an ending. One example of this is Prime. That was also a good movie (and again, not what the commercials made it out to be), but the end didn't really feel like an ending. I want a movie to provide closure to the story it's presenting.

After the movie, we went out for dinner, and then I left to come back here. The drive wasn't too bad. Any moisture that may have been on the roads evaporated quickly due to the very strong winds that came behind the cold front. Once I got to unsheltered areas just before Altoona, there was blowing and drifting snow, and again there was a very helpful sign (electric, nonetheless) saying that I could encounter blowing snow and to drive cautiously when I had noticed that myself for a decent amount of time before that. I swear, Pennsylvania must spend more money on useless signs that on useful ones, like, for instance, speed limits signs. That's just a small gripe from me, though.

Well, I think that's about it for now. I'm heading off to watch the Golden Globes. I'm kind of an awards show junkie. Plus, I've actually seen some of the movies that are nominated, which is kind of cool, since usually around this time, the nominated movies aren't ones I've seen. So, I'm off and cheering on the movies and TV shows I want to win.

Random Question

2006-01-13T11:46:00.000-06:00

This is probably one of the more random entries I've posted on here. I'm asking a question to anyone that may read this blog, preferably someone in the State College area, but other opinions are welcome. I've noticed recently that I have a rather sharp pain in the back of my mouth, so I felt around back there (which may not be the smartest idea, but I wanted to find out what was causing me pain) and it felt like a tooth might be trying to push it's way out. So, I'm wondering if anyone that reads this can tell me how to go about finding a good dentist in State College. I figure I should probably go check get it checked out before it does any major damage. The trouble is, I haven't been to a dentist in a long time, and I'm not exactly fond of them. Plus, I haven't had dental insurance until this year. I'm also hoping that this may just be a temproary thing and I won't actually have to see a dentist.

Anyway, instead of rambling on, my question to anyone in State College, or anyone that's been through this kind of thing, is: can anyone recommend a good dentist in this area? Please leave comments!

Best and Worst 2005

2006-01-06T08:20:00.000-06:00

Today I was supposed to have the second part of my candidacy exam, but someone missed their flight from the Orange Bowl, so it's been postponed until Monday. I'm having mixed feelings about that. I really wanted to just get it over with today, but I don't really mind having a little extra time to study and recover from yesterday's part. Honestly, I think I'm kind of liking the idea of a few days between parts. I will probably do better work on the next part with some break in between.

Now after that little rambling preamble, I should probably address the title of this post. The couple magazines I read and some of the entertainment websites out there have put together best and worst lists for 2005, so I've been inspired to do my own version of that. I'll probably list entertainment stuff along with personal stuff. It's just kind of fun, and I figured it might make an enjoyable post. So, off we go!

- Best (relatively) new TV show: Grey's Anatomy. No question about this. It is hands down one of the best-written shows on TV right now. I might have put Supernatural down here, but the shapeshifter episode was too much of a weak point for me.

- Best TV show: Gilmore Girls. Not much more to say about this. Anyone who has watched the show should agree with me.

- Best movie: Crash. I would have said Brokeback Mountain because, from what I've heard, it's an amazing movie, that is also pretty politically relevant these days. However, I didn't see that movie yet because it wasn't playing in the theaters at home (no big surprise there) and it's not playing in State College. So, I'm guessing I'll have to wait to rent that one. Crash, by far, is the best movie I've seen this past year, and perhaps in my life. If anyone hasn't seen it yet, they definitely need to. I still think back to some of the scenes in that movie and am just amazed. Perfect cast, perfect writing. That's all I can say to describe it. Well, not all, but I could write many, many posts on the movie, but that's not what this entry is for.

- Best Movie Sequel: Batman Begins. This was the best Batman movie I've seen. Hands down. Harry Potter might have taken this spot, because it also was good and the best of the Harry Potter movies, but now that I've started rereading the book, it's still good, but I'm thinking that too much was left out of it.

- Best Musician: Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, I like her, mainly because she's the only "Idol" that's really done anything. Plus, her music is amazingly good. Every song I've heard of hers lately sounds different than the previous ones, which I like.

- Best Book and Worst Ending: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I loved the book. It rates quite high on the list of the HP books I've read. However, I didn't like the ending so much. That's not because Dumbledore died, although that was sad in and of itself. It was more the whole anticlimatic reveal of Snape being the Half-Blood Prince.

- Worst Book: The DaVinci Code. I can't really remember if I read that this past year or late the year before. Either way, I was really unimpressed with it because some of the plot twists were incredibly transparent. Plus, I had heard all this hype about how amazing the book is and it was on the bestseller list for a gazillion weeks, so I thought it was going to be this amazingly good book. I was left very disappointed. The only good thing about it was the pictures of the artwork (my sister had that version of the book). I could kind of relive the time I went to the Louvre.

- Best Quote from a TV Show: Gilmore Girls. Basically this category could be filled with about 20 quotes from every episode. The funniest one I heard this year was from Lorelai talking to Rory about prison: "Rory, the penal system is not something we enjoy. It's something with a name that makes us giggle." A close runner-up, which I'm not sure if I can remember accurately, is from Grey's Anatomy. I'll need to preface it a little bit to help explain it. A rape victim was brought into the hospital for some surgery or something. Anyway, the victim had bitten off her rapist's penis. So, at one point in the episode Cristina walked up to Meredith in the lobby of the hospital and asked what Meredith was doing. Meredith said, "I'm just sitting here with my penis." Well, I think it's funny. Other people might not, but I got a kick out of it.

- Funniest Moment on a TV show: Lost. The first Hurley-centric episode, with all the bad luck from using the numbers to win the lottery. The funniest part was when Hurley was talking to his stockbroker and a guy fell from the window behind the stockbrocker. I don't know why I really found that funny, because it's not. I guess I just have a very dark sense of humor. I thought all the flashbacks were funny in that episode, though.

On to more personal stuff...

- Best Thing that Happened to me This Year: This is a tie among many things. (1) Starting to see a therapist was definitely a good move on my part. I've tried to deal with my life alone for so long that it's nice to not have to deal all on my own anymore. (2) Failing the candidacy exam the first time. I know that might not sound like the best thing that has happened, but in the end it was a positive. It kind of gave me a jump start to see that things had to change in my life. Plus, I like to think things happen for a reason. (3) Living alone again. This was the result of the candidacy exam. I knew I had to do this to keep myself sane.

- Worst thing that Happened to me This Year: Medical Crises. This past semester was the semester from hell with medical stuff. It started out with having a persistent headache, which I'd been seeing the doctor for now. Then the optometrist I saw sent me to an ophthalmologist, who sent me to a retina specialist to see if the spot that is on my retina was a mole or a malignant melanoma. I also had an MRI done to see if there was anything wrong with my brain that was causing this persistent headache. I also had to have my cholesterol tested because the MRI found a couple non-specific hardened vessel in my brain. So, basically, this whole semester was stress due to health reasons on one level or another. Oh, and I also started seeing a psychiatrist, who put me on anti-depressants, the first of which gave me a slight tremor (which was moderately exacerbated over Thanksgiving dinner because I was tense around my grandmother). The one I'm on now seem to be pretty good. I'm not shaking too badly now, only when I'm really hungry or sitting next to Grandma at the dinner table. So, yeah, this semester was just one big stress-filled few-month period, that will hopefully get better this semester.

- Best and Worst Class I've Taken: Physical Oceanography. The reason this is the worst is that Dr. Bannon can't teach all that well. Plus, when he's grading he doesn't put any effort into giving feedback. On the final, I got points taken of on problem, and there was no indication of what I did wrong. There was just a red 7/10, among others. However, because he didn't teach all that well and the labs were very intensive, I did actually learn a lot from the class. And I've discovered I like Physical Oceanography much better than the chemical realm, so that's a bonus.

- Biggest Surprise of the Year: TAing next semester. I don't think I have to say much more about that one. I didn't think I'd have to teach. But, I guess I do. At least it's something I've taught before, so I have some frame of reference. But, still, I wish I had been better prepared for it.

Alrighty, I think that's it for now. At least I can't think of any more. Plus, this post is getting a little long the way it is. Anyway, I just wanted to do this because I thought it would be kind of fun. Now, I'm just going to relax the rest of the day and get back to studying over the weekend.

Happy New Year!!

2006-01-01T21:49:00.000-06:00

I guess I should post an obligatory new year's post since a lot of people seem to be doing that.

New Year's Eve this year was kind of bittersweet for me. The bitter part is that I couldn't spend it at home with my mom and sister because I needed to leave myself plenty of time to cram for the candidacy exam this coming week, and I knew I wouldn't get to study as much if I were at home. Plus, it was Bree's birthday yesterday, and I really wanted to be there for it. But, alas, I couldn't. But I think she was okay with that. Of course, I will definitely need to be there for her birthday next year because she turns 21. That's a biggie that I'd rather not miss. Plus, I don't think Mom and Bree missed mine. Or at the very least, they made it special even if they didn't make it to Waukesha to see me. How sad is it that I can't even remember what went on on my 21st? And no, it's not because I was too drunk to remember anything. My memory is just shoddy in some areas. However, it does retain random trivia well, which isn't incredibly useful, but still is nice when doing crossword puzzles or playing Trivial Pursuit.

Anyway, the sweet part of last night is that I made last minute plans with Josh to go to Chum's and have a couple drinks and ring in the new year. That was incredibly fun. I was glad I could make it, because it seems like I've unintentionally blown him off the past few times he's invited me out, mainly because things came up. Yesterday, though, I didn't really want to spend all of New Year's Eve studying, especially into the night, because I'm not that big of a dork. I probably would have ended up drinking here in my apartment and watching New Year's Rockin' Eve. Going out was much more fun, though. Josh had his friend Rachel there with him, and she's just a blast. I had so much fun just chatting with them and drinking a couple drinks. I also saw Chad and Kevin there, which was nice because I haven't seen them in a while. I should really make it a point to chat with them more often. A little before midnight, the two bartenders were passing out party favors, like noisemakers, hats, streamers, etc. We also got free champagne to toast the new year. All in all, it was a lot of fun.

Of course, as midnight drew closer, New Year's Rockin' Eve was turned on in the bar, just so we could see the ball drop. I must say that Dick Clark is looking really good yet, considering he had a stroke. He is looking a bit older now, but really, it's about time. People can't remain ageless forever, well, at least not with out a lot of cosmetic surgery, and those people just freak me out. Anyway, getting back on track, Josh, Rachel, and I were talking about Hilary Duff and how skinny and sickly-looking she is. It seems like all the teeny-bopper stars have all become anorexic lately. It's just not attractive. Of course, I'm not an authority on this stuff, but I find women to be more attractive when they have some sort of figure to them. I don't mean they should be obese, but they should at least be able to fill out a dress well. On the opposite end of the scale, we had Mariah Carey on Rockin' Eve as well. She definitely can fill out a dress. However, I think she should have perhaps had more of a dress on. It's winter, for Pete's sake! She was dressed like she was about to head to the beach. And it really looked like her dress could hardly contain her breasts. Seriously, I kept half-expecting the bra-thing under her dress to just fly open in the middle and have an even bigger Janet Jackson moment.

So, that was my New Year's Eve. Sometimes the best times are had when things are rather spontaneous.

Today when I woke up, I was surprised to see we were under a winter storm watch. Now, I'm not a forecaster, but all the forecasts I'd been seeing recently didn't lead me to belief that we were going to get anything significantly wintery in the near future. However, here we are now under a winter weather advisory because we could get significant icing. I'm not sure if I really believe that. All I have to say is where is Karen when we need her? She did quite a good job on the last major weather event that we had, all because of her awesome forecasting skills. (As an aside, whenever I start to mention anyone having some skills, I keep wanting to add "and nunchukus skills...." It's just stuck there in my mind from Napoleon Dynamite. That and "Tina you fat lard, come get your dinner!") Anyway, after going off on yet another tangent, my point to this is we'll see if I have power in the morning. If I don't it'll be really fun trying to study all day tomorrow with no power. I'll have to sit next to a window to get the natural light.

On another note, the Packers won today. I'd be more excited, but it's basically a meaningless win. Although I am happy that they beat the Seahawks. I'm still a little bitter at Mike Holmgren leaving the Packers because he wanted to be both head coach and general manager when Ron Wolfe retired, and when he didn't get that, he took off. The double duty didn't work very well for him in Seattle either, since the general manager-ship (is that what you're supposed to say?) was taken away from him. But, at least the Packers started off the New Year and ended their season on a positive note. Now there are two main questions. Is Brett going to leave? That one I'm not too sure about. Of course, it's his decision, but I think he may still have a year left in him. Hell, he probably has several years left in him. The other question is if Mike Sherman is going to be fired. I think that may be a bit pre-emptive of people to discount him. Yes, the Pack has had a bit of a downslide since he took over as head coach from Ray Rhodes (who I think is the major contributor to the downslide of the Pack). However, many of the star players from the Super Bowl Packer team either went to other teams or retired due to injuries. And considering that we had winning seasons for the past several years while rebuilding the team, Sherman's doing a pretty good job. This year is the first major stumbling block, but it's not all Sherman's fault. If our players could just stop getting injured, we'd have a good team. Just looking at all the losses, most of them were only lost by a few points. So, we have a good team, but we just can't pull through in the end. But, we'll see. I'm sure some fans are clamoring for Sherman to be fired, but I don't necessarily think that that will make that big a difference.

I thought I had more random thoughts from my trip home to append to this post, but I can't seem to remember them. Oh, well. It's not a big loss. I'm not even sure how many people care about my scatter-brained thoughts, anyway. I just write them because it's something I do on the AMC message boards. This semester I couldn't watch AMC every day because of school and not having time at night to watch each episode, so I catch up on them on Friday and Saturday. Then I make a long post about random things I've thought during my AMC marathon. Some people on that board really enjoy them. I always get comments back from my thoughts from one person in particular, and we seem to agree in general about the show. And I must say that this person is one of the most articulate 14-year-olds I know. (Now, don't get the wrong idea here. We just chat because I find her thoughts to be very, very insightful. Most people on the board are as impressed with her as I am.) I'm sort of considering creating another blog just to post my random thoughts about AMC on there so I can leave the message board space freer. But, we'll see. I'm so far behind in my soap-watching at the moment, though. Part of my relaxation after the candidacy exam will be catching up on the shows. At least that's the plan.

The candidacy exam is on Thursday and Friday of this week. Yikes! It's coming up so quickly. Plus, we have a snow day set to be Saturday, which I'm hoping we won't have to use. The way it is, I don't have much time to recover before classes start. Luckily, I'm not taking any classes, so the first week for me will be realtively stress-free, but I still have to work on planning out my first lesson for the lab I'm teaching. My point in all of this is that if we have to take part of the exam on Saturday, I really wouldn't have much time to recover. The way it is, I'm planning on recovering Friday after the exam, all weekend long, and then taking Monday off, too. But we'll see what happens. It depends on what Mother Nature decides to throw at central PA. She's such a fickle one.

OK, I guess that's it for now. Happy 2006 everyone!!

Random Thoughts from My Trip Home

2005-12-30T15:14:00.000-06:00

This blog is beginning to become more of a random thoughts blog than I first had intended. But that's all I seem to have lately. So, here's some more for anyone who reads this to enjoy.

- While I was at home, I actually watched the news because the productions from Green Bay are so much better than the productions coming out of Johnstown. Anyway, one of the stories on there was about someone getting stranded on the ice in the Bay of Green Bay. Every year some idiot makes the news because they weren't smart enough to realize one of the two following things: (1) the ice isn't thick enough because it's too early in winter for it to have frozen deep enough, (2) the ice has thinned because of a rather mild spell. In this year's case it was the latter that was true. I would have thought that people might learn after seeing these stories year after year, but I guess that's not the case.

- I've come to the conclusion that semis should just have their own highway system. Either that or the drivers should be courteous to other drivers on the road. Many time in the trip home and back I've had to slow down because a semi decides to move into my lane at the last possible moment. Usually they are trying to pass another semi that is probably only going around 1 mph slower than they are. In one case on the trip back here, a semi decided to pass a whole caravan of other trucks in Indiana, so I was stuck in a line of cars that were going significantly slower than the speed limit. A lot of choice words were coming out of my mouth during that part of my drive in Indiana.

- I heard the new Madonna song a lot during both the trip home and back. No matter how many times I hear it, I don't think I'm ever going to like it. I'm sort of a music purist. That is, I like music that is not remixed or has a lot of effects that make it sound like a song that could be played in a dance club. Madonna has just been doing more and more songs with effects like that, and that just doesn't impress me. Another thing that I dislike about remixes is that the song being remixed is generally not a dance song. I could go on and on about this, but I won't bore any readers to death about that.

- I love that the speed limit in Indiana is 70 mph now. Granted that doesn't cut out much time from the 12+ hour drive for my trip home, but there's something nice about cutting any time from my trip that I can.

- Chicago is getting much easier for me to drive through. The first time, I was petrified of driving through such a big city because I was always riding whenever I'd go to Chicago with someone, and it always seemed like traffic was rather hellish. Now, it's getting easier. I just have to drive defensively. Chicago is always going to be the hairiest part of my drive, though. I actually made good time through Chicago round trip this time. (I only say Chicago, because, let's face it, the whole northeast quadrant of Illinois is Chicago.) On the way back here yesterday, I actually hit a lot of traffic in the downtown part of Chicago, but I still made good time, mainly because I was really speeding in the northern suburb part of Chicago. I couldn't help it, though. One can't do the speed limit anywhere in the Chicago area without causing a huge backup of traffic. I was going about 70 mph in a 55 mph zone and there were still some people passing me like I was standing still. I'm just glad I didn't see any cops along that stretch of road.

- Speaking of cops, I love how people always slow down as soon as they see a cop with a radar gun. It's not really going to make a difference. The cop usually catches people before they see him/her. I'll admit, though, that I sometimes do that as well.

- I was thinking while driving (because I really don't have to pay that much attention to the road for most of my drive) about how the money collected from toll roads is used. I can honestly say that I don't really know. Is it used for just the repair and improvement of the toll road/turnpike itself, or is the money used for projects on other interstates or state highways? If the money is only used for the toll roads, I have to say that some states are doing a crappy job of keeping the roads nice. Illinois is a prime example. There are so many pot holes on the Tri-State tollway and the stretch that is before the Tri-State that I'm always worried about blowing out a tire. Indiana doesn't do much better in that respect. At least not for the stretch before I need to take a ticket for the toll. Ohio's turnpike is great, though. It's very smooth and three lanes most of the time which is a nice thing when avoiding semis. If the money collected on toll roads is used for other highways, Pennsylvania is seriously neglecting I-80. Well, not all of it. Just the part of I-80 that is five miles or so before the exit for Bellefonte/Penn State. That part of the road is horrible. That's another stretch of road that I worry about blowing out a tire.

- Christmas was interesting. None of us really felt like celebrating, especially Mom. That doesn't surprise me, though, because she works in retail. She has to deal with this stuff for many weeks. But we did spend quality holiday time together, so that was good. I even got to see my aunt and uncle and cousin during the holiday when Bree and I rode down to Kenosha with the grandparents. All in all, it was a nice holiday.

- While I was at home, we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the one with Johnny Depp). I was surprised at how good it was. I really enjoyed it, much more than Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

- I impressed myself with the amount of studying for the candidacy exam I did while I was at home. To be honest, I wasn't expecting to study at all while I was at home. However, I did actually study some because both Mom and Bree were working a lot while I was home. I didn't get as much studying done as I planned on, but I was expecting a bit much for me being home. So, I'm rather pleased with myself.

- I stopped at a hotel last night to avoid the PA mountains overnight because I didn't know how slippery it would be. I must say that the person who checked me in was one of the nicest hotel staff that I've ever met. It kind of gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling, which was nice because I was a bit sad to come back here early and miss Bree's birthday. I think I may have to stop at that Best Western again. The only down side was that whoever was in the adjacent room was a very loud snorer that I could hear over the TV that night. I turned on the heater in the room to have some white noise to cover up the snoring. But, that's a the only downside. Overall, I was very impressed.

I think that's about it for now. I'm back in State College, and getting ready to start cramming for the candidacy exam, which I will be done with a week from right now. I'm not sure if much studying will get done tonight, or if I'm just going to rest and recover from my drive. We'll see.

Candidacy Exam Rant #2 and Some Other Random Thoughts

2005-12-20T22:39:00.000-06:00

Well, here's the second rant about the upcoming candidacy exam that I'm taking in just over two weeks. The exam itself has two sections, physical and dynamic meteorology. For most people, this really isn't a problem because both the sections could easily come up in their research. For me, however, being not in the norm as usual, the physical section is essentially irrelevant to me. One of the subjects in the physical section is cloud physics. Now I did enjoy the class when I took it, but since I'm pursuing a PhD in the oceanographic realm, cloud physics seems utterly irrelevant, because, and this is a big shocker, clouds don't form in the ocean! Yet I have to study it well enough to potentially answer a question or two about it. The second subject is radiative transfer. This might actually be somewhat relevant, but I don't think the specifics of it are really necessary for me to understand when I'm studying the ocean. Plus, the whole subject is so abstract, that I don't think anyone, except for maybe Drs. Clothiaux and Bohren, really understand it very well. But, again, I have to study it and attempt to understand it well enough to potentially answer a question or two about it. Yay.

That's my second rant about the candidacy exam, and it may not be the last because I get to study while I'm at home for Christmas. Woohoo. Now on to some more random thoughts that I don't really feel like putting in separate posts.

- Next semester I get to TA. I'm having problems with that for a couple different reasons. One is that I didn't even know that I was supposed to TA until I got an email in early November asking us for input as to which classes we wanted to TA for. I'm not a big fan of surprises like that. At least I'm teaching something I've taught before: Meteo 3, or as we grad students call it, Weather for Dummies. Actually not all the students are stupid, but there are always a few who tend to make life a living hell. But even that I'm not that upset about. What upsets me the most is that I have to TA for a student whose doing a combined undergrad/grad degree, which is basically something like a super-senior, except he's getting two degrees in less time. The main issue I have with this is I don't expect any of his students to have a lick of respect for him, because he hasn't even obtained any degree in meteorology. Plus, he'll be at most maybe four years older than most of them, but if there are any seniors in the class, they'll basically be the same age. I know I would have a problem getting taught by someone my age. The only thing I have to say is that the department absolutely needs to be in desperate need for people to teach this course. Because I think it's a little sketchy that a technically-undergrad student is teaching other undergrads.

- Yesterday I drove to Greensburg, PA to visit with my best friend from undergrad, Ingrid. The drive down there was interesting in that all the snow we've gotten recently was melting. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm very happy that the roads are salted so that there is little chance of ice to form. However, I do think there is such a thing as oversalting. Honestly, parts of my car were completely white by the time I got to Greensburg. I know I should wash it, but since I'm driving home tomorrow, it seemed like a waste of money to get it washed when probably the same thing will happen again. Plus, I didn't really have time to wash it today.

- I realized today that I've been woefully underpreparing for my drive home tomorrow. I got back to the apartment tonight and realized I had to do so much stuff before leaving. It looks like I'll be getting a somewhat late start tomorrow. Maybe. I'm still not sure about how much more I want to do tomorrow before leaving. I probably should vacuum, but I don't really want to. We'll see what happens.

- I get to bring my bunny home for the holiday, which I'm sure will thrill her. The last time I took her home, she seemed slightly different when I got home. But, I don't really have a choice. I knew that most people have left or will leave for whatever holiday they might celebrate (see prior post). So, it's a little inconvenient for me and her, but we'll both just have to deal.

- I've kind of realized lately that I'm not thrilled with how television seasons are run. It seems like shows are only writing for the few sweeps periods that there are. After November is done, most shows show repeats for the month of December, and then they come back to being new episodes in January to get people hooked again for February sweeps. Even the soaps sort of do that, not so much in showing repeats, but the storylines all come to a head during the sweeps months. I'm not complaining too much, though, since that frees up so much time for me to study. And there are some shows that I could watch over and over again and not get sick of them, like Gilmore Girls.

- A couple weeks ago I went to Ben & Jerry's for my weekly smoothie, and two of the workers were talking about Grey's Anatomy. I could tell because the guy said something about the quints (if you've seen the show, you know what I'm talking about), and I was just kind of excited to hear some other people talking about what is becoming one of the best shows on TV at the moment. Gilmore Girls is still number one in my book, but Grey's is a close second. I'm just glad other people are realizing it.

Well, I think that's about it for now. I should really get to bed soon to get enough sleep so I'm not too tired or dependent on caffeine during my drive tomorrow. Happy Holidays, whichever holiday you celebrate!

Harry Kwanmiskkah?

2005-12-18T11:33:00.000-06:00

I was reading an article on CNN.com this morning (see it here) about how to wish people good tidings no matter which holiday they celebrate around this time of year. According to this article, conservative groups are planning boycotts and lawsuits against retailers who don't have "Merry Christmas" as part of their holiday display. There's even a book titled, "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday is Worse than You Thought." I do like the quote from Jon Stewart on the Daily Show this article had: "Every time you say 'Happy Holidays,' an angel gets AIDS." That's satire at its finest!

Are people really being serious with this crap? Shouldn't this be a time of year when people put aside petty bickering and just be nice to one another, no matter what religious beliefs you have? Are people who don't celebrate Christmas going to be terribly offended if a person who works in retail wishes them a merry Christmas? Maybe we should all wear buttons identifying which holiday we celebrate so that when someone sees it they know how to wish people happiness during their holiday. Or maybe we should all just smash together all the holidays at this time of year, as I've done with the title of this post. But, even there, I'm probably leaving out millions of other religious holidays that might occur around this time.

You know, nothing pisses me off more than petty bickering like this during a time when we're supposed to be celebrating. The holiday season, in my mind, is about getting along with your fellow people no matter what religion, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, or whatever other distinction they have. And yes, Christmas itself is for celebrating the birth of Jesus. The other holidays that fall around this time of year probably also celebrate something else that is significant in that particular religion. I'm not certain of what they celebrate, which probably makes me a little ignorant, but if people who might read this want to comment on other religious celebrations, I'm more than willing to learn.

I know that it's hard to get along with your fellow humans when doing Christmas shopping because everyone seems to think only of themselves. Trust me, I hate going to malls/department stores around this time of year because large crowds of people annoy me. But still, what I'm saying is that, instead of bickering about saying either "Merry Christmas," "Happy Hanukkah," "Happy Kwanzaa," or "Happy Holidays" is just plain stupid. It really shouldn't make a difference. If people are going to be offended because of which holiday other people wish them, they should take a long, hard look at why they're offended, because the spirit of the message is the same.

OK, I'm done and stepping off my soapbox now.

Snow Day?

2005-12-15T09:25:00.000-06:00

This morning when my alarm went off for the second time (because I didn't feel like getting up right away) the station that I wake up to, 101 FM, was in the process of listing schools that have closed due to the impending winter storm. So, when I rolled out of bed after a couple songs, I looked out the window and noticed that nothing was happening yet. That leads me to believe that the storm that's coming is not going to bring us as much snow/ice/whatever the hell else decides to fall out of the sky. I'm just using past precedent for this. When I was in grade school, middle school, and high school, whenever a snow day was announced before the bad weather hit, it usually wasn't as bad as forecasters were predicting. However, when school remained open regardless of what the forecasters say, there would be a lot of snow and the school would dismiss early. I remember one time in particular, there was a pretty significant snow storm that had already started precipitating when I went to school in the morning, and school let out one hour early. By that time a lot of snow had fallen and driving home was not the easiest thing in the world to do.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that most school systems, in my opinion, usually get it wrong when it comes to cancelling school. Or at least they did back home. Here I'm not so sure, though. But as I look out my window today and still see nothing happening, it makes me wonder. Now, I'll be the first to admit that the schools were right and I'm wrong if we do get the 6-9 inches of snow the forecasters are predicting. (At least I think that's what they're predicting. It seems to change hourly.) I guess only time will tell. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm studying at home today, so I really don't need to worry too much about the weather, unless we get significant icing. Then I won't have power, and will probably slide under the covers of my bed all day to keep warm. Only time will tell though.

It's Official....

2005-12-14T15:25:00.000-06:00

I just received word today that my abstract for the 2006 Ocean Science Meeting has been accepted. I'm presenting my work in the form of a poster. So, it should be fun, and slightly stressful for the next couple months trying to get something done with my work that is relatively interesting to show people. But I can deal with the stress, especially because the meeting is in Hawaii. Yup, Hawaii in late February sounds like a good enough reason to put up with the stress.

Crunch Time

2005-12-06T22:25:00.000-06:00

I'm supposed to have a conference call with Ray and the rest of the group that's working on the NASA IDS project on the carbon cycle along continental shelf regions. I think I'm going to skip it though. There are a couple reasons for this.

One, I haven't really done much work since the last conference call a month ago. That's only because life intervened with the myriad of medical testing I needed to go through to prove that I'm, for the most part, healthy. I had an MRI, a cancer test on my eye, and some blood tests all within the span of a month. That drains a person. In fact, I went to bed at 10:30 last night because I was just exhausted, probably from the stress of all this medical crap. Anyway, I feel bad not being able to get much work done, but it's hard to be productive when so many things are on my mind. I know Ray's probably not going to be very happy about this, but I can't do anything about it. He's just going to have to deal with it. I'm not going to get very much work done this month due to finals and studying for the candidacy exam. I know he won't be thrilled about that either, but if he wants me to stick around, again, he'll just have to deal with it.

The other reason I'm probably not going to the conference call tomorrow is that it's crunch time here. I have a lab report due on Thursday, and I'm only half done with the first draft. After I finish the first draft, I let it sit for a while, and edit the hell out of it later.

Besides those reasons, I have therapy tomorrow afternoon at 2:00, so I always have to leave the conference call early just so I have time to walk to my therapist and have enough time to relax before she calls me up.

So, anyway, I just needed to vent a little. I really do feel bad not getting anything done research-wise lately, but life had to throw me a curve ball. On that note, I'm off to bed, because I'm exhausted once again.

Test Results Part IV

2005-12-06T09:08:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm creating another post about test results. Yesterday I went to the doctor for a recheck on my headaches and to go over the results of my MRI face-to-face. He also wanted me to get blood drawn for a cholesterol test because my MRI showed two vessels that were hardened in the white matter of my brain. Then I told him about my shaking hands (which were really bad over Thanksgiving), so he ordered a thyroid test, too, in case the tremors were due to low thyroid rather than the anti-depressants I've been taking.

I called Ritenour this morning to get my results, and they actually had them done, which I think it quite shocking. Anyway, my cholesterol is good. It's at 186, which is in a healthy range. It should be less than 200, so I'm happy. My good cholesterol and bad cholesterol, therefore, are also in good ranges. My thyroid test turned out to be normal as well. Overall, I guess I would say I'm normal. At least healthwise, anyway. In other ways, not so much.

I think this will be it for the tests, though. That's a good thing, because I'm sick of having nearly everything tested just to be on the safe side. And I still don't know anything about my headaches except that they're from tension. I don't know why. I don't have any tension in my life. (Can you sense the sarcasm??) I am glad, though, that I'm done being a lab rat.

I have other things to say, but none of them really fit under this title, so they'll have to wait. I'm just relieved that everything is turning out ok. Now I can maybe be able to focus a bit better on stuff that I should be doing without having any medical stuff hanging over my head.

Random Thoughts

2005-12-01T14:59:00.000-06:00

This post contains some random thoughts, none of which really seem worthy of a blog entry by themselves.

- I'm becoming increasingly aware that I like physical oceanography better than chemical oceanography, which probably isn't good since my main work is in the chemical realm. All the papers I've read on physical stuff like sea level rise and mixed layer depth I can sit down and read and not fall asleep or want to put my head through a wall. I guess I maybe should mention something to Ray about it, but I think that can wait.

- It's been cloudy all week here in State College. It gets pretty damn depressing waking up in the morning and still feeling like it's nighttime. But, this is State College in winter, so I'll have to get used to it.

- I keep seeing this car in the BJC parking lot with the cutest bumper sticker on it. It says, "Bush for lawn ornament." I know it's from the last election, but I still smile when I see it.

- I've been craving chocolate like you wouldn't believe lately. I can't seem to figure out why, though. I just can't seem to get enough. Very strange, but well, look who's typing this.

- I could use another break already. I just got back from Thanksgiving less than a week ago, and I'm already exhausted. That's because it's the end of the semester and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to have an easy workload the last two weeks of the semester. At least it's almost over.

I thought I had other random thoughts, but I can't seem to remember them at the moment. Hmmm... they'll probably come back to me at a strange time. Anyway, I need to head off to colloquium.

Major understatement

2005-11-30T16:55:00.000-06:00

I was listening to NPR on the way to the grocery store after leaving campus (mainly because nothing interesting to listen was on any other station I have programmed in my car) and they were talking about Bush's "plan of action," or whatever he's calling it. (See previous post.) One of the commentators said, "Bush is not a gifted orator." And I thought to myself, well, that's the understatement of the year.

Anyway, I found it amusing. That's all; it's just another one of those random blog-worthy moments.

Strategy Plan

2005-11-30T09:34:00.000-06:00

A little earlier today I got in to the office. The first thing I usually do is check my email, look what the weather is doing, and check CNN.com to see what the big news of the day is. When I got to CNN's homepage the top headline is "Bush Lays Out Strategy for Iraq." That got me thinking, why now? Here we are, nearly three years into the war in Iraq with American soldiers dying nearly every day. And Bush first decides to let the country know what his strategy is to win the war in Iraq?! Seriously, shouldn't he have thought about this more, say, when we first invaded Iraq?

I think that's one of the main reasons I do not support the war in and of itself. Bush decided to start it by saying that Saddam is bad (I'm paraphrasing a little bit there) and needs to be overthrown. OK, that's all well and good. But, that seemed to be his only plan. Well, that and fighting the war on terror, which I thought was suppose to be in Afghanistan, you know, where Osama is.

Now, I didn't read what their plan was, because I don't have time to read a 38-page document while I'm at the office, but I still think it's coming way too late in the war. I see that Bush had to do something because support for the war is waning really quickly, but it still doesn't make sense that he'd wait this long to let America know what his plan of action is. That's all I'm saying on that subject, because it just pisses me off.

And as a sidenote, just because I say I'm against the war doesn't mean I think we should pull our troops out. I'm saying that we shouldn't have gone there in the first place without some solid plan as to when we could declare victory. While the troops are still there, I'm going to support them, because that is what we should do as Americans.

Anyway, that's enough from me for now. I probably should do some work while I'm here today.

Test Results Part III

2005-11-29T16:09:00.000-06:00

Since my last entry was quite short and not very specific, I'm going to go into more detail in this entry about what sorts of tests I've been through and what the results are.

First off, the MRI. My doctor finally called me back that Thursday before Thanksgiving and told me that he was going to go over the results with me, but my next scheduled appointment is in a week. So, he went over them with me briefly on the phone and we'll go over them some more when I see him next week. Basically they found two things. The first was some sort of sinusitis. I think the MRI caught that my sinuses were inflamed or something of that nature. This makes sense, since I had a cold at the time. The second thing they found was a bunch of medical jargon that my doctor translated into English for me. They found two non-specific vessels in the white matter of my brain (the part that separates the two hemispheres) that looked like they were hardened. So, my doctor wants to get a blood test from me to check my cholestrol. Hopefully it's not too high. It may not be since there were only a couple vessel found there. But, I'm not sure. We'll see next week. The good news from this is that I don't have a tumor or aneurism, so the cause of my headaches is not part of my brain.

The second test I went through was for my eye. My optometrist saw a spot on my eye that she wanted to get checked out by an ophthalmologist and he sent me to a retina specialist to get a second and more qualified opinion. They all wanted to make sure that the spot is just a mole instead of a spot of melanoma. The retina specialist determined that it was only a mole and it was benign, which was quite the relief for me and my mom and my sister (who came out here to support me through the cancer scare). I just have to go back to him in four months to have a follow-up to be certain that it isn't cancer.

So, I'm relatively healthy, with no tumor or cancer. And that's very good news. The only bad thing is that I still don't know the cause of my headaches, besides them being from tension. At least they don't happen every day anymore. I've had a pretty bad one yesterday and today, but I'm attributing that one to the stress of having a paper due in oceanography.

Anyway, that's the more-detailed news for those of you that care to know.

Test Results Part II

2005-11-19T08:30:00.000-06:00

Just a small update on my last entry. All my tests were fine, nothing out of the ordinary to report. So, that's a large weight off my shoulders.

Other than that, not much else is new. I'm heading home today with my mom and sister, and spending all of next week off for Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!! Don't eat too much!

Test Results

2005-11-17T10:35:00.000-06:00

Last Friday I had an MRI taken of my brain. My doctor at Ritenour wanted to be safe and check everything now that he knows about the tests I'm having done on my eye tomorrow. He just wants to make sure that my headaches are really just tension headaches and not caused by something bigger and badder.

Anyway, I called Ritenour today to get the results, and the nurse I spoke to told me them. However, there was a whole bunch of medical jargon that I probably couldn't repeat now if I tried. The only word she said from my results was sinusitis. That make sense to me since I had a cold last week when I had the MRI done. All the other words were medical, so now I'm paranoid that it's something bad in my brain. I mean, all medical words sound big and scary. The nurse didn't even really understand them. So, now I'm waiting for them to call back and tell me in simplicity what exactly the MRI found. It's very nervewracking, and I'm also having a hard time concentrating on what I should be doing, that is, getting my lab report done since it's due today. I wish she would just call back and tell me the news, good or bad. That way I can get on with my life and not sit here staring at my cell phone waiting for it to ring.

Well, I suppose I should get going and continue editing my lab report. It's due at 2:30, so I still have some time. I just need to not think about what might or might not be wrong with me, besides being slightly abnormal, that is.

Candidacy Exam Rant #1

2005-11-14T19:58:00.001-06:00

Yes, I'm calling this #1 because I'm sure there will be more to come. If not, then I started a numbered sequence and never finished, which fulfills the Procrastinator's Creed, so it's a win-win either way.

Anyway, my rant for today comes as a follow-up to a rant earlier in the semester. I had started to organize a group of the people who were planning on taking the candidacy exam this semester so we could start studying for it. (Not that that did much good. The group's kind of fallen apart recently because we're all too busy.) Once I found out who was all taking it, I had an "organizational" meeting to more or less push my own agenda. I was proposing moving the exam from early January to before Christmas. It sounded like a very fine idea to me, so we wouldn't have to have that thing looming over us over the holidays. Most of the group thought that was a fantastic idea. There was one, however, who was adament about having it in January because he was taking three classes this semester and had finals the week before the one we were proposing the exam should be moved to. I can sort of understand that after having three finals, he probably wouldn't want to study for another exam after that. He was just being a whiny little bitch about it that I was getting incredibly frustrated by him. (I'm sure you can tell from my description of him.)

So, since it wasn't unanimous that we move the exam, I told Dr. Shirer not to worry about it. I only proposed it veyr early on in the semester on the chance that this kid would realize he wouldn't be able to handle three classes and studying for the candidacy exam in November and back out of taking it. Well, lo and behold, we get an email from Dr. Shirer (the associate head of the department, and organizer of all things related to the department) saying he was going to hold a meeting about what the candidacy exam entails in the last two weeks of the semester. Guess who wasn't on the list in that email? The kid who was so irritating about not moving it. Little bastard.....

So, that's my rant about the candidacy exam. Or at least about a certain someone in the department who was supposed to be taking it. As you can tell, I hold on to grudges quite a while.

But, really, it's not bothering me too much that the exam is in January now. I almost like that better, because I'll have extra time to study for it. It just kind of sucks that I won't be able to stay at home for that long over Christmas break. I'll be coming back here before New Year's Eve because there's no way I'll be able to study at home for this exam. I'll be too distracted by everything else. Not that studying here has been accomplished all that much, but I'll have a better chance to get it done here than at home. It also sucks that I'll miss my sister's birthday (which is New Year's Eve). This'll be the first one I've missed, but there's nothing I can do about it, unfortunately. Unless I fly home for a day or two and then come back, which could be an option as well. But, even if I can't, she says she understands, because she's only turning 20. She definitely wants me there for her 21st next year, though. I promised to take her out to a gay bar. That is, if I can find a good one sort of close to home. I highly doubt it in my hometown, so I may just end up taking her out somewhere else. But, we're definitely going to celebrate that one well.

Alrighty, I'm done ranting and blabbing on for now. It's almost time for Related, which is a very cute show. I also need to relax a little bit. I've been working most of the day on my presentation for tomorrow (which should be fun since today my voice has been threatening to leave me) and my lab report due on Thursday that I'm trying to get done early because my family's coming out here on Wednesday!! I don't want to have to do anything important while they're here. We'll see how well that goes.

OK, I think I'm truly done babbling for now. Plus, I'm getting tired, so it's definitely time to just plop in front of the TV for the rest of the night.

Sleep. It does a body good.

2005-11-13T19:44:00.000-06:00

I am completely in awe of the recuperative powers of sleep. On Wednesday (my birthday) I was starting to feel a little sickly with the start of a cold. So, on Friday I ended up leaving campus earlier than I usually do because I felt that I should just take a break and relax. So, that's what I did. I came home and plopped in front of the TV for a good long while. I also decided that this weekend would be one where I didn't set an alarm for anything. I was just going to sleep and let my body heal itself. So, I went to bed around midnight on Friday but was tossing and turning for about 45 minutes before I actually got comfortable enough to sleep. The next thing I know, besides being woken up by the banging pipes in the wall between my bedroom and kitchen, it's just a little after noon. So, I literally got 11 hours of sleep. And last night I got between 9 and 10 hours of sleep. So, half of the weekend was spent unconscious. The good thing is that I'm feeling much, much better after that. I'm still not quite 100%, but I'm not congested and I don't have a very scratchy throat, so things are looking up.

Other than that, my weekend wasn't incredibly productive. I did get a good start on my lab report that's due Thursday, which makes me feel better, since this week is kind of busy for me. I also have a presentation to give at our group meeting, but I'm just going to discuss some papers on mixed layer depth, so that presentation should be fairly easy to prepare. So, it looks like I should get just about everything done in the necessary order, so I can spend time with my family when they come out here on Wednesday!

I can't believe it's already mid-November. Time has sure flown. I'm really excited to have Mom and Bree out here this week. This is the first time they have been out here since graduation in August 2004. What's really nice is that they're flying one-way out here from O'Hare to Pittsburgh, and then I'm driving them back next weekend and spending an extra long Thanksgiving break at home. I'm really looking forward to this extended family time. Unfortunately their reasons for coming out here aren't the greatest, since I'm having tests done on my eye. But still, it should be nice. It will also be a little weird driving them home, because I've become so used to not having anyone in the car with me. It should be exciting, provided that Mom doesn't panic too much if there's a lot of traffic.

Let's see, what else? Oh, yeah, I had an MRI done on Friday. The doctor I've been seeing at Ritenour thought that with all the tests being done for my eye that I should probably get an MRI done since I've been having persistant headaches for ages now. Just to be on the safe side, you know. That was quite an experience. It's a very good thing I'm not claustrophobic. Just lying there in a big tube and hearing clunking noises combined with someone talking to me via a microphone telling what's going to happen is an interesting experience. But of all tests I could have done, it was probably the most relaxing, because all I had to do was lay still. And, of course, they injected me with a dye so they could scan my brain with contrast. Even though I'm not the biggest fan of needles, it hardly bothered me at all. All I felt was a little pinch and then all of a sudden the lady who injected me was putting a cotton ball on it. Not too bad.

Well, I think that's all the news I have for now. Plus, it's almost time for Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. I don't think there's much chance of the power going out tonight, so I should be able to watch both, which is most definitely a good thing.

I wonder if this is what the Waltons felt like....

2005-11-09T19:42:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday to me! I just turned 26 today. Normally, I get jazzed by my birthday, but this year I'm not quite as excited as I normally am. Part of it is because of all the tests I'm going to be getting in the next week and a half. I'm kind of nervous about them, even though I'm fairly certain that the results from them will be normal.

The other part is that I think I'm getting a cold. I've been feeling kind of weird lately. Sort of run down, and I've had a bad case of dry mouth. Yeah, I know that's a sign of getting drunk, but I haven't had a drink in ages. Seriously. I had at first thought it was from one of the drugs that I'm taking to help with my headaches, but now I think it might be from whatever bug I've caught.

That's just my luck, though. Getting sick on my birthday. That would also explain why I don't have any urge to have people over for a dinner like I did for the past couple years. I just have no ambition to make a big meal and have company. Maybe some other time, but not now, unless I feel miraculously better tomorrow.

Other than that, not much else is new. I opened my gifts today. Mom got me Star Wars Episode III and some candy and a Pocket Dragon. Bree also got me a Pocket Dragon, and the movie was from her, too. From Ingrid I got Monty Python and the Holy Grail on DVD, so now I have two copies of it because I had one on VHS. She also got me some other little things.

When I went to Greensburg to visit with her, we went to see "Prime." It was a very cute movie. Meryl Streep is fantastic in it. So funny. I'm not sure I'm thrilled with the ending of it, but at least it felt like an ending, unlike some movies.

Tonight, I'm praying that the power doesn't go out. A new episode of Lost is on, and from what I've read in the spoilers, it looks like it will be great. However, we're getting thunderstorms at the moment, with gusty winds, and the last time that happened (Sunday) my power went out right in the middle of Desperate Housewives. I was a little peeved by that. So, here's hoping that doesn't happen during Lost.

Although, when the power went out on Sunday, it was actually kind of nice and peaceful. Sometimes it's nice not to rely on electronics to amuse myself. So, I did crossword puzzles by candlelight, while wondering if this is what the Waltons did.

But still, if the power goes out tonight, I'll be mighty pissed. Luckily, though, Mom is taping it for me, so when she and Bree come out here next week, I'll ask her to bring it.

With that, I'm off to go watch some TV and just rest so I can maybe kill this damn bug before it gets too bad.

Rant Time

2005-11-03T14:56:00.000-06:00

OK, this is going to be another short post, but I just have to vent a little bit. This afternoon I had the single worst lecture I've ever had. Well, that might be exaggerating a bit, but that's how pissed off I am about it. First of all, it was on potential vorticity conservation, which to most readers out there probably sound like a bunch of gibberish, and it's very hard to explain well. So hard in fact, that I don't think I've had a good explanation of it ever. Anyway, today was especially horrible. The prof was flying through the lecture, skipping steps along the way, and jumping all over the place. I had next to no clue what the hell was going on. In the middle of it, I actually did raise my hand to ask a question because I couldn't make the leap from where he started to his next step because he skipped a large number of steps between there. Then he proceeded to basically make me feel like an idiot by saying, "Well, I guess I'll derive it...." That pissed me off to no end, mainly because I don't like being made to feel like a complete dumbass. It was a simple question and he had no right to make it seem like such a big deal to show some intermediate steps to help clear up any confusion. In fact, I think he was almost intentionally trying to confuse the whole class. He has absolutely no right being a lecturer, but as Tim (my officemate) put it, at a big research driven school like this, teaching is not the number one priority. Research is. This is why I don't want to work at a large school after I finish my degree. I much prefer a small school where the main focus is on teaching.

Anyway, I'm very grumpy right now, and I need to give myself some time to calm down. Plus, it's almost time for colloquium, and it sounds like a potentially interesting seminar, so I'll head down there soon. Hopefully by the end of it, I'll be a little less pissy. I'm not counting on it, though.

November Heat Wave

2005-11-03T13:19:00.000-06:00

I just checked the NWS State College homepage, and it said it was 71F here. That's impressive for it being early November. And to think, just last week it was snowing. I definitely wouldn't mind it staying like this for a while.

Thank You Captain Obvious

2005-11-02T08:53:00.000-06:00

So, I got an email this morning from one of the secretaries in the meteo department. I'm going to quote it here:

"I have been notified by OPP that we are having heating problems in the building and they have been working on it for several days. They are unable to control the temperature to keep the building comfortable. They are working on it so hopefully it will be fixed soon."

This is one of the most blatent stating-the-obvious moments that I've seen in quite a while. Anyone who's been in Walker Building at any time this week has realized how incredibly hot it is here. I swear this building is falling apart, what with the fire alarms that go off at completely random times, the elevators occasionally getting stuck, and the heating and cooling system that only works every so often. OK, so maybe the building itself isn't falling apart, but all the "conveniences" in it are.

Alright, I'm done now. This was just one of those moments that I thought were blog-worthy.

November already?!

2005-11-01T21:55:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's November already. It hardly seems possible. Time is just flying by, which is nie in some ways and kind of scary in others. This month is probably going to go incredibly fast, at least at the rate it's filling up with appointments and such. This Friday I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist to see if there are any meds that will work to a) help lessen my headaches a bit more and b) keep my mood a bit brighter. So, we'll see. Unfortunately, he's not fully covered by my insurance (stupid MEGA), so it may be that I go to him sparingly.

Since I have that appointment on Friday anyway, I'm also taking my car in for an oil change, since it's not going to be too long from now that I'll be driving home to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving. Plus, on Saturday I'm driving to Greensburg to see Ingrid, at least I think that's still the plan. I haven't heard back from her yet. Hopefully I'll hear back soon.

Let's see, other appointments in November. Next Monday I go back to Ritenour to see the doctor I've been seeing about my headaches. Yay. They are a bit more transient of late, so that should be good news. However, I'm not sure if they are actually going away, or just lessening enough so that I focus through them. Most of the time if I have something that really needs my full attention, I don't notice my headaches so much. I'm hoping that means they're going away. But I do have a high tolerance for pain, so it may just be that too. We'll see on Monday.

Then on the 18th I go to Johnstown to get my eye tested yet again. But, still, it'll be nice to have Mom and Bree here to drive me there and just support me in general. I'm still seeing how it might work out if they fly here one way and then I leave earlier than I was planning on to go home for Thanksgiving. I need to look further into that.

So, basically the next three weeks are going to be busy for various reasons. Then I get approximately a week off for Thanksgiving, and then it's two hell weeks before finals. Luckily I only have one final, so that won't be too bad, except for the fact that it's at 8am. We all know how much I love mornings. (Sorry for the sarcasm dripping down your screens at the moment.) But I'll make it through.... with lots of caffeine.

Greensburg should be fun this weekend. Ingrid and I are celebrating my birthday a little early by going out to eat, probably doing a mall crawl, and seeing "Prime" somewhere in between there as well. That looks like a hilarious movie. I'm just hoping it lives up to its previews. So, that's something to look forward to.

It seems like practically every tv show I watch is on a mini-hiatus this week. Most of the time I've been watching repeats of shows. This is because sweeps officially start next month, and every show is saving its best stuff for then. It kind of sucks, but a lot of the shows I watch are well-written enough to warrant watching them a second time through. Especially Gilmore Girls. It was a repeat of the season premiere tonight. Very funny episode. There are so many quotable lines from that episode alone. I swear I could watch any episode of that show over and over again.

I also watched the rerun of Supernatural tonight. It was set in Lake Manitoc, WI. Now, that's not a real place, mind you. However, the first time I saw this episode, I noticed the setting as was kind of surprised. See, the spelling of the town is very close to my hometown, Manitowoc. So, after the episode I googled it, because I thought it was more than just a coincidence. It turns out that one of the writers or someone behind the scenes on the show is from the Manitowoc/Two Rivers area. I thought that was pretty exciting. Even some of the landmarks mentioned in the show are based on real places in the area. I think it's pretty cool. It's kind of like being from a famous place, sort of. The only other thing that that area is known for is that it was the birthplace of the ice cream sundae, which is also kind of cool. Technically that was Two Rivers, but that's where I grew up until my family moved when I was in college. Yeah, it's kind of random, but still interesting.

So, I think that's about it. I should probably go to bed fairly soon. Today I felt like a walking zombie. I just can't seem to find the right amount of time I need to sleep in order to feel refreshed in the morning. Maybe I'm just not getting restful enough sleep. I just don't know. Of course now that I'm thinking of going to bed, I'm getting a second wind. What can I say? My body is weird.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. And in case anyone cares, there are eight days till my birthday. It's not like I'm turning a special age or anything, but it's still nice to celebrate them and now I've made it fairly successfully through another year in my life. So, with that, I'm off.

Homecoming, Halloween, and Daylight Saving Time

2005-10-30T15:00:00.000-06:00

This weekend was homecoming weekend here at Penn State. Unlike previous years, I didn't participate in any of the festivities. Usually I like to go to the parade, just to see what kinds of crappy floats the frats put together. But this year, I just didn't feel like going. Part of it is that it was cold out. Parades aren't that fun if you're freezing your ass off. Another part is that I didn't really want to go alone. Yet another part is that I didn't want to leave my apartment really early just to find a parking spot somewhere on campus, because I knew that wasn't going to be fun at all. The last part is I just didn't feel like being in a large mob of people in various states of drunkenness.

Traffic was even pretty bad yesterday only about two hours before the game. I had thought most people would be making their way to the stadium well before that to tailgate, since this is a big game. However, Atherton St. was incredibly busy even at 1pm. Luckily, though, Giant was pretty empty. In fact, some cashiers were waiting for people to go check out unlike most other times I've gone shopping. It was kind of nice.

Tomorrow is Halloween, and I've been debating if I should dress up or not. I don't think I am because I can't think of a really good costume. I could reuse the one I used a couple years ago and go as Death, or one of the monks from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The Monty Python idea really appeals to me, but I'm not sure how many people would get it, and having to explain your costume ruins its effect. Then I thought about getting somewhat dressed up and getting some horns and a pitchfork and go as a well-dressed devil, but the the horns that I really liked looked like they would be rather cumbersome to put on. So, that idea is thrown out. My last idea was to get a shaggy white-haired wig and dress up as Tim Conway's old man from the Carol Burnett show, but since I'm about the only person in State College I know who has watched that show, it would again be a costume I'd have to explain. So, I probably will just wear normal clothes to campus tomorrow. Besides, I don't want to be the only person who dresses up in Walker Building.

Daylight saving time occurred early this morning, which is nice in the fall. Getting that extra hour to sleep is always great. I even took advantage of it, instead of staying awake that extra hour. However, it's sad that on most days I'll be leaving campus after it gets dark out. That's just a little depressing.

After numerous phone calls and rearrangements of my schedule for the next month, I've finally worked it out so that my mom and sister can come to visit me in the middle-ish of November. That's exciting, just because I miss them quite a bit. However, the reason they're coming is so they can drive me to Johnstown for tests on the spot on my eye. So, it's sort of a mixed bag of emotions for that to come. These tests are what I was alluding to in my last post. They are to check to see if the thing on my eye is just a mole, or nevus in technical terms, or if it's..... something worse. Yeah, I'm being a bit cryptic, but it's not something I want to post so the world can see until I know for sure what's going on. I'm just glad my family is coming because I need their support most. Plus, I don't know who I'd ask to drive me to Johnstown on a Friday to stay there for 2-4 hours while I get tested. So, it'll be nice to have them here.

In other news, the Packers just lost another game. Yes, I'll still be a Packer fan no matter how badly they do, but it would be nice to see them win more than one game this season. I'm not sure what's going on with them, but they've been declining for a while now. I'm almost glad the tv listing on Yahoo were wrong about the game being shown here. It would have been painful to watch. I really feel bad for Brett, because I know he wants to retire on a high note, but it doesn't look like this season is going to be it for him. Of course, he seems like he could play until he's 50, so he may be around after the Pack rebuilds a bit.

I think that's about it for now. I need to go write out the bills I have for the month and study some more. Then it's tv time because Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy (which looks like it'll be really good tonight) are on.

Happy Halloween a day early in case I don't write anything tomorrow!

Make your own kind of music, sing your own special song....

2005-10-26T22:20:00.000-05:00

Today was probably one of the most unproductive days I've had at work in a while. I just had no motivation to do anything. It didn't help that I have therapy at 2pm on Wednesdays, so that cuts my day short, unless, of course, I decide to go back to the office after therapy, which some days is necessary. Today wasn't one of them. Then there's the fact that I can't drag myself out of bed before 8am, so I usually don't get to the office until 10am. Now, you might be wondering why it takes two hours to get to campus. Well, first of all, I don't jump right out of bed in the morning. Then I have to eat a little something, shower (which takes a longer time for me than for most guys), get everything together to go to campus. So, I usually leave between 9:15 and 9:30. Then I drive to the BJC and park my car, which takes approximately five minutes total, depending on how quickly I can find a spot. Then I catch a Loop or Link to go to the other end of campus. This part of the trip is usually highly variable. It all depends on how quick the buses come or if they wait, because there's no way in hell I'm running to catch one, and then which one I end up taking, usually a Link because it seems quicker. The ride to wherever I can get dropped off can take 20 minutes depending on how many people are getting on and off at each stop.

So, today I had less time on campus anyway, so I knew productivity wouldn't be high. I didn't think it would be this low, though, either. I did manage to register for a class next semester. It's a modeling course, which should be helpful, or at least practical in case I end up not passing the candidacy exam again. We'll see.

After therapy today I went to Ben & Jerry's. It's become a ritual now, sort of a treat for myself. No matter how rough the session, I go there. Usually I get the same thing, too. A raspberry cream smoothie. Geez, my mouth is watering just thinking about it. Anyway, the point I'm making is that I went in today, and the guy that works there actually remembered what I usually get. So, that was very cool. It's nice to know I make an impression on people.

Therapy was kind of rough today. Lots of things going on in my life. I know they say (and who this "they" are is beyond me) that one should take one day at a time, or at least one thing at a time, but it always seems like the things that go on in my life gang up on me and attack all at once. And today wasn't even talking about my past, which is sordid and juicy and if I changed some names, I could probably write a best-seller. Today was more about the present. I'm not going to go into detail quite yet because I need to find some things out first. (I like to keep anyone that reads this on the edge of their seat.) It's a big, hard, scary thing (I hope no one's mind is in the gutter). I've been doing an incredibly good job of downplaying it to my mom and myself. Almost too good. I even almost convinced myself that it's not a big deal. But during therapy, my emotions got the better of me, and I realized how huge it really is. It's the kind of thing that I need the support of my mom, physically. I know I have it, but it's not the same thing when it's coming from around 750 miles away.

Well, that's quite the cliffhanger for the few of you that read this often. I'll go into more detail in future entries. I won't just leave on the edge of your seat.

In other news, I impressed myself today. I actually started studying for the candidacy exam. Well, sort of, anyway. It's more that I cracked open a notebook and starting jotting stuff down to hopefully keep it in my memory. So, that's a major development. I've started studying about two months earlier than I did last time. Hopefully that's a good sign.

Of course, it didn't last long. I wanted to check in on Lost to make sure it was a repeat. It was, but I still flipped back and forth between that and the World Poker Tour. Today's episode of Lost featured the Mama Cass song again (anyone that watches it should know what I'm talking about). It always gets stuck in my head. So, it'll be there now for several weeks, going on in the background, "Make your own kind of music....."

I think I'm starting to have withdrawals of poker. The meteo department hasn't had a poker night in ages. I'd host one, but even with as large an apartment as I have now, it doesn't really seem big enough to hold two tables of six to eight people. We'll see, though. Maybe one day I will. I've been so eager to play that I signed onto Party Poker this afternoon and played in a couple single table tournaments. The first one I came in 7th on. My downfall in that one was losing to a higher full house. The second one I came in 2nd, so that totally made up for it. The one hand I clearly remember was that I had A/Q in the hole and the flop came A/A/Q. That hardly ever happens for me. I was quite excited. The last tournament I played took a rather long time, too. I think about an hour. Most of the time it was the last four of us, none of which wanted to be fourth because there's no money gained for that. But it was definitely fun.

On that note, I should probably get to sleep soon. It's going on 11:30 and I'm getting sleepy. Plus tomorrow is a slightly busy day, capped off with colloquium, so I should try to be refreshed tomorrow. Otherwise I'll probably fall asleep during the talk, and that wouldn't be a good thing.

I Wish I Had a Camera...

2005-10-25T09:31:00.000-05:00

I usually don't write any posts while I'm at work, but I had to today. Let the record show that today, October 25, 2005, brought State College it's first snowfall of the season. This is the kind of weather I'm used to, having snow before Halloween, being from Wisconsin and all. OK, that's all. I better get back to doing something slightly more productive than this.

Small Update

2005-10-19T22:17:00.000-05:00

OK, I know I don't typically post more than once a day, nor more than once an hour, but I had to make an update. I've decided to turn on word verification for comments because just a minute after I posted my last entry, I got a spam comment. Grrrrr. So, for those of you that may comment, it's just a little annoyance for you, but I'd rather have real people comment on my blog.

That's definitely my last gripe for the night. Yeah, I lied in my last entry, but things come up. But, I'm definitely done now, and I'm stepping off the soap box.

A Minor Improvement

2005-10-19T22:09:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I last posted, mainly because I wanted to wait until I was at least partially out of the major funk I've been in for the past two weeks. Now, I feel like I've risen a bit, emotion-wise. It's a nice feeling to not feel a sense of doom and gloom, and to have some moments of lightness. That is something I've really some to cherish lately.

Part of the reason I think the funk is lifting is that the drugs I'm on from the doctor are finally kicking in. I'm on a muscle relaxant which I take at the onset of a headache and a small dose of an anti-depressant that is also used for tension/migraine headaches. For a while there, I was never sure when to take the muscle relaxant because there was really no "offset" of the headache, and thus there was no onset either. It was just a constant thing. Now, it's finally become a little transient. Either it completely goes away for short periods of time, or it lessens enough so that I can actually feel like not just having my head down all the time.

Another part of the reason I'm feeling a little better is that I'm going to a psychiatrist as well as a therapist. Actually, I haven't started seeing the psychiatrist yet. I don't get to see him until the beginning of November, which is the earliest opening any of the doctors I've called has had. One of them didn't have an opening until next year. Apparently, a lot of people, myself included, need shrinking in State College. So, hopefully once I've found the right anti-depressant, I'll feel even better. This is unusual for me to be optimistic. It's kind of a nice feeling.

The final part of why I think I'm feeling a bit better is that I wrote to my long-time pen pal with basically a novella of why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. I think it helped to get some stuff off my chest. And, nice that he is, he wrote back to me fairly soon after I sent him the email. It was really great to be able to share everything with someone, even if it wasn't "in person." And he shared back, which was great too. I've yet to write back to him, because I haven't really had the time to write another long-winded email. But I will at some point. That's a promise.

So, anyway, things are slowly looking up for me, which is a good thing after the past couple of weeks, believe me.

Now on Friday, I get to go see an ophthalmologist (an incredibly hard word to spell). The good part of that is that I don't have to be in the office that day. The bad part is just going. The eye doctor has never really been one of my favorite things in the world. The worst part of an eye exam is the puff test for glaucoma. I don't know what sadist came up with that test. I'm just not a big fan of that. And all the drops that get put in my eyes are annoying too. I'm not really good with eye drops at all, but if the person does it right it's not so bad. Anyway, the reason I'm going there is that I have this brown spot on my retina that the optometrist I originally went to wants to get checked out just to make sure it's nothing bad. This means my eyes get dilated, which is so much fun. That means that I should really get someone to drive me to Altoona, but I think that may be hard because most people aren't completely free on Fridays like I am. So, I'll probably end up driving myself. Luckily, though, my friend from undergrad, Ingrid, is coming up to visit me this weekend, so she's going to meet me in Altoona and kill time with me until my eyes are good enough to drive back here. If I can find someone who is free on Friday and doesn't mind just driving me down and going back, that would be great. Then when Ingrid gets there, she can just drive me back to State College. I don't think it's going to work out, and it's not really a big deal either.

On another note, I've finally officially submitted my abstract to the Ocean Science meeting in February 2006. If it gets accepted, I'll be going to Hawaii four months from tomorrow! Writing the abstract was quite difficult, because I don't know exactly how far I'll get with my research at that point. I hope I left it vague enough to cover all my bases. And I really hope it gets accepted to the meeting. It would be so cool to go to Hawaii in February. My advisor even encouraged me to stay there the whole week of the meeting, even if I don't attend sessions every day. It is a rather big trip, so it doesn't pay to rush back. Plus, I'll want to do some sightseeing. Hell, I may not want to come back after experiencing temperatures like that.

Another thing of note. Three weeks from today I turn 26. I always enjoy my birthday. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to celebrate this year. The past couple of years, I've invited people over for dinner, but most of my friends that I usually invited are either gone or I never see them anymore even if they are here. So, we'll see. That's something more I have to think about.

That same day is the next new episode of Lost. I'm not sure why they are taking a couple weeks off from it, but the next new episode should be really good. One of the castaways will die. And since I've become such a spoiler addict, I already know who it is. But I won't say here in case anyone that reads this blog wants to be spoiler free. I also know that the person that dies is killed by another of the castaways. So, it should be an exciting episode. And on my birthday, no less.

Speaking of TV, I have to gripe about one of the shows I watch. Last night on Supernatural, they had an episode dealing with a shapeshifter. Now, usually, I look forward to shapeshifter stories in any form, because it's such an intriguing concept. Imagine being able to be anyone you wanted to be. Doesn't that sound cool? But, I digress. So, I was looking forward to this episode of Supernatural. However, after it, I was left a little disappointed. Some plot points were really stupid. For example, (I'm sorry for those of you that don't watch the show, but I have to gripe) after Sam and Dean figured out that a shapeshifter was assuming forms of people in town and killing their loved ones, they go chasing after it. That's fine. So, the find its lair and discover it there. It goes running off faster than they can get out of its sewer lair. I'm also fine with that. However, once they get out of the sewer, they decide to split up. This is where I'm having a major problem with the plot. First of all, they're chasing a shapeshifter, so splitting up is kind of dumb when the thing they're chasing can look like either one of them and they wouldn't know it. Second, they've been asking us to believe for the run of the series so far that Sam and Dean have had loads of experience with The Things That Go Bump In The Night. So, you'd think that they should know better than this, wouldn't you? That was the main thing I didn't like about the episode, which pretty much ruined it for me. A more minor thing came at the end of the episode. Sam trapped by the shapeshifter in Dean's form. Then of course, Dean comes in and shoots it with a silver bullet and it dies. It would have been more climatic, for me, if the shapeshifter had taken Sam's form so Dean wouldn't know right away who to kill. But, I'm not the writer. I could have done a better job with the plot, though. Just my opinion.

Still on the subject of TV, I've recently discovered that Night Stalker may be on the chopping block. I'm really saddened by that, because it's such a good show. I typically haven't been a huge fan of the spooky type movies, but this show has sort of changed my mind. It's really creepy, but not so much in a gory way. It's more of a psychological creepy. And every week it's getting better. This is why I'm a little disappointed that it could be canceled. Still, in a way, it's not all that surprising. The brilliant people at ABC decide to put it in the same time slot as CSI. If that's not a way to kill a show, I don't know what is. I don't know what time slot they'd have open for it otherwise, but that's not a time slot to put a new show in. Of course, ABC doesn't really have any well-established shows. It does have quite a few new-ish shows that are really popular (all of which I watch), but I don't even think any of those would have a chance in hell against CSI. It will disappoint me if Night Stalker does get canceled. But, there's really nothing I can do about that.

Well, I suppose I should get going for now. It's after 11 now, and I'm getting sleepy. And I've gotten my gripes out for the time being. It's nice to have the energy to gripe about unimportant things. It's definitely a sign I'm out of my major funk, which is most definitely a good thing. And it's a good note to end on, so there you have it.

Untitled entry

2005-10-05T22:30:00.000-05:00

There was no poker tonight, so since I have a little time, I decided to write an entry in here. I don't exactly have a plan on what to put in this entry this time, so I'm just winging it.

I've been in one of my more down periods lately, especially this week. All week I've had the hardest time even wanting to get out of bed in the morning. I'm not sure if it's because I haven't been sleeping well or what. It doesn't help that I have had this damn tension headache for ages now. I think it might be affecting my sleep in some way that I can't quite understand. The only time my head feels somewhat good is when I'm sleeping. But maybe it's just because I'm unconscious and don't notice it as much. I just don't know. I'm going back to the doctor on Friday to see what he says now. I'm really not sure if anything more can be done. I'm just petrified that it's something more than just a tension headache. But we'll see what happens.

Therapy today was interesting. I've been mentioning the constant headaches to Kim for the past several sessions now, and she brought up the idea of seeing a psychiatrist and getting me on some meds. When I first started therapy, I wasn't sure that would be such a great idea. OK, that's not exactly true. I didn't think I needed to be on medication when I first started therapy. But now, my opinion has changed a bit. I figure that all it can do is help. I'm ready to do just about anything to make myself feel better both physically and mentally. With the candidacy exam still looming over me and keeping up with research and classes on the school side, to working through my own personal demons from the past in therapy, lots of thing are ganging up on me, which is probably why I'm so tense and get these headaches.

Besides that, nothing is new in my life. I get up, go to campus, attempt to do something productive, come home, eat, relax, and go to bed. Such an exciting life I have, don't I? And I guess that's it for this entry. Not much to it this time, but that's because I'm a little sleepy, and I can't think of anything more to write.

Statistic: 1 in 6 comment-writers will be a human

2005-09-25T17:18:00.000-05:00

Since I have some time today and I'm feeling incredibly unmotivated to do much of anything, I decided to post another entry. I know, it's a miracle that I'm posting more than once in a week! I can't believe it either.

Yesterday I had my eye exam at LensCrafters in Altoona. Since I've been having these persistent headaches, I figured it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get my eyes checked. Plus, it may help me figure out why I've been having these headaches constantly for over two weeks now. It turns out that my prescription changed by the tiniest of margins, and the optometrist said that it probably wouldn't be very useful to change my lenses. She also wants me to see an ophthalmologist because I have a brown spot on my retina that's been there at least since two years ago (the last time I visited the eye doctor). It hasn't grown at all, so that's good news. But she just wants to have it rechecked just to be sure that isn't the cause of my headaches. I don't think it is if it's been there for such a long time and my headaches just started, but I guess it won't hurt to have it checked. I just hope I can find someone that takes my insurance, because that appointment is going to be expensive.

While I was in Altoona yesterday I met up with Ingrid. It's always fun to see her and chat. I'm actually surprised that I've kept up a friendship with her all these years since I met her my sophomore year of undergrad. I usually can't keep friendships going for that long because people move away. I'm glad we keep in touch though. We have lots in common, too, from watching the same tv shows to having similar political ideologies. So, we usually have lots to chat about. We spent a bit of time chatting about the shows we watch, since it's the month of premieres. We also talked a bit about politics; most of the time was spent Bush bashing, mainly because that seems to be so easy to do. All in all, it was a very nice visit.

I also went to see a movie with her yesterday, since that seems to be a tradition for us. We saw Just Like Heaven. Yeah, I know it's a chick flick, but most people that know me should know that I'm a softy. It was actually a lot funnier than I thought it was going to be. I was literally laughing out loud for a good chunk of the movie. I'd definitely recommend it.

During the half hour of previews and commercials before the movie (OK, I might be exaggerating by just a little, but I don't think it can be by that much) there was a commercial for Lost. That was one commercial I didn't mind. And I think that show would be amazing to see on the big screen. It's already impressive just on TV, but to be able to see it larger than life would be so cool. The surround sound would be great too. The only other thing that I saw in the pre-show entertainment is a movie with Uma Thurman and Meryl Streep that looks quite funny. I can't remember what the name of the movie is, but it looks like it has a good premise. I'd be tempted to see that one, if I remembered its name when it comes out.

At the doctor's appointment on Friday, the cause of my headaches could still not be determined exactly. He still thinks it's a tension headache, which really isn't all that surprising. So, now I'm on a muscle relaxant and a small dosage of an anti-depressant to see if that doesn't get rid of the headaches. The muscle relaxant seems to be sort of working. I don't notice the headache as often anymore. So, hopefully this will continue.

Last week there was the career fair at the Bryce Jordan Center. It's a nice thing to have available to the general student population, but it got kind of annoying. This was mainly because in order to get a decent parking spot, one would either have to get to the BJC before 9am (which I really have trouble with) or drive around for ten minutes waiting for a spot to open up. So, I'd usually have to park pretty far from where I'd like. It really didn't help on Wednesday because they close off one entire line of parking spots for the quarterback club, or something else equally annoying. That day was especially hard to find a decent spot.

The one nice thing about Career Fair last week is that there were plenty of people all dressed up walking around. I always find that people in general are very attractive when they're dressed up. Even people I wouldn't necessarily find attractive in ordinary circumstance tend to become more attractive to me when they are dressed up. In my opinion, there's nothing hotter than a well-dressed man. And there were plenty around campus last week to turn my head. And Thursday most of the ROTC students were in dress uniforms, which is also somewhat of a turn-on, for the same reason as being in a suit and tie. It's the same type of look.

Speaking of ROTC, the Marine Corps ROTC was having a car wash at the McDonald's on North Atherton today, and believe me, I was incredibly tempted to go and have my car washed by them. However, common sense took over in me, because it's supposed to rain tomorrow and Tuesday. I figured it would be a waste of a car wash if I had it done today. Plus, I was getting really hungry after I got done grocery shopping, so I needed to get home.

At some point I really need to get motivation to do stuff while I'm at home besides watching tv and playing on the internet. I do have to start studying for the candidacy exam, and I'd like to do some work at home every once in a while. I just can't seem to find the motivation. I have a feeling I know why that is, and I've covered it in therapy, but it's too long a description to go through in this entry. Perhaps in a future entry I'll go into more detail about it. A small part of my lack of motivation is the constant headache I have. It's hard to focus on anything when you're in pain.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Tonight is more season premiere tv for me. Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy start their new seasons tonight, so I'm going to be camped out in front of my tv for two hours tonight. I swear I'm addicted to too many shows. But I can't help it. I love escaping into these shows. They definitely beat reality.

I guess that's it for this entry, since it's getting to be pretty long. But one thing before I stop. I know in my last entry I encouraged comments. Well, of the six comments I got, only one was from an actual human being (props for Karen). So, I will still encourage comments, but if I get more spam comments, I may start having to use word verification whenever anyone comments. We'll see, though. Maybe I'll be surprised this time.

Anyway, it's definitely time to finish this entry. More will come at some point. Maybe I'll surprise myself and write another one in a couple days. Don't count on it, but it could happen!

Bush, Hurricanes, and TV

2005-09-22T21:36:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally have a bit of time and lots of things to write about (some frivolous, other not so much), so I think now is as good a time as any to do it.

Where should I start? I'll start first with a wonderful picture I "borrowed" from Karen's journal. I know it's a little late, and it should be filed with my last entry, but I didn't feel like editing that one, and it's too good a picture not to have in my blog anywhere. So, here goes. It's from http://www.dailykos.com. It's the banner on the bottom that's funniest. I'd say that pretty much sums up our president.

One more picture to show. This one I found one day while I was bored at work. I was looking at the NHC website (see sidebar for link) and I found out that there were three hurricanes right in a row in the eastern Pacific Ocean. That's pretty cool, and I don't think it happens very often. Here's that image from Tuesday. There's Jova on the far left, Kenneth on the far right, and in the middle is Max. I think that Kenneth is now a tropical storm and Max is a tropical depression, so this image is probably when those two were at their peaks. Hurricanes in the Pacific don't seem to last as long as they do in the Atlantic, nor do they seem to get as strong. Part of that reasoning could be that we don't really hear about hurricanes in the Pacific that often. I also think that the Pacific tends to be cooler, which tends to keep hurricanes from gaining too much energy.

Now there's Rita in the Gulf. I feel quite bad for those people that just evacuated from New Orleans and the surrounding towns and parishes. They moved over to Houston, and probably some other parts of Texas, and now they have another hurricane aiming at them. I'd be surprised if these people wanted to move back to the shoreline anytime soon.

On to some more frivolous things, like TV. Fall TV is here! I always enjoy when all of my favorite shows return. Last week, this week, and next week all have season premieres on of shows that I watch regularly (some of which I'm borderline obsessed with). Gilmore Girls season premiere was last week, which is pretty early for a WB show. The season premiere was so great, with Luke saying yes to Lorelai's proposal, and the whole town finding out about it. Some of the funniest moments came from Miss Patty and Babette. Whenever characters in the town get involved in things, hilarity ensues. The only thing I don't like is the way that Rory is acting. She doesn't seem like Rory lately. I'm sure that will change, but it's a little frustrating right now. Although, I knew her and Lorelai's relationship couldn't stay the way it was forever. Relationships change, both on TV and in real life.

Let's see. What else? I watched the season premiere of Lost tonight. I had to tape it last night because I went to play poker. It was pretty good. We finally find out what's in the hatch. For anyone that might stumble upon this blog and actually watch Lost, but haven't yet seen the premiere, I won't reveal anything. However, it seems that with every question that gets answered on that show, three more present themselves. But, it keeps you hooked, which is a sign of good writing and a great show.

I also watched the season premiere of Arrested Development on Monday. (If you haven't been able to tell, I'm addicted to TV.) I haven't watched this show as regularly as I could have, because it keeps switching time slots. It has got to be one of the funniest comedies I've seen. I've only watched an episode here and there, but after this season's premiere, I think I'm going to have to make it a point to watch. The humor is very quick-paced, so you need to be sharp to keep up with it. But if you can, it's really great. I can see why it keeps winning Emmys.

Speaking of which (I needed to segue into this subject somehow), I watched the Emmys last Sunday as well. First of all, I'm glad Lost won best drama, because it is one of the better dramas I've seen in recent years, at least on a major network. I'm a little disappointed Desperate Housewives didn't win best comedy, but not entirely surprised because I don't really consider Desperate Housewives to be a comedy. But I thought of any of the other shows that were nominated, either Scrubs (which is seriously overlooked) or Arrested Development should have won. Not Everybody Loves Raymond. It's an ok show, but I don't think it's the best comedy around. But, that's just my opinion.

Also, I still don't understand why Gilmore Girls can never get nominated for an Emmy. I realize that it's on the WB, and because of that doesn't get a lot of viewership. However, it is, in my opinion, one of the best written shows on TV. And Lauren Graham is one of the most talented actresses on any show. But, they keep getting overlooked. And then they have Lauren Graham present at the Emmys this year. What a slap in the face! But, there's nothing that can be done about that.

OK, enough about TV. I really should stop writing for now since I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 8:45 am. I'm not too pleased about that, but it's the only slot that was available to see the same doctor I saw last week. I've had this persistent headache that just doesn't seem to want to go away. So, hopefully tomorrow the doctor can figure something out besides it being a tension headache. I also have an eye appointment on Saturday, just to see if it's because I need a new prescription for my glasses. So, hopefully one of these two appointments will solve my problem.

Before I stop, I'd like to invite anyone that reads this blog to leave a comment and tell me how you stumbled upon it, unless you got it from my IM profile. I'd like to know if anyone out there is reading this. I also put up some link to other blogs/journals of friends (although one of the blogs is just a random one I came across that is written quite well and tends to be pretty funny) and some other links to other common websites that I visit occasionally. I guess that's it for now. It's definitely time to start thinking about going to bed.

Katrina Part II: Bush Bashing

2005-09-05T21:34:00.000-05:00

It's been a week since Katrina first made landfall. I've pretty much been keeping track of the news of this disaster since it first happened. Before I get into writing this entry, I should probably start with some warnings to those that might read this entry. First, to any Bush lover who might read this, you'll probably become pretty upset with what I have to say. If you really feel like flaming me, go ahead, but if you do submit nasty comments, I'm probably going to ignore them, unless they are well thought out. And I'll be the first to admit that I was never a Bush supporter and never will be. Most of my rants on how he handled this would be the same if it were a Democrat in office, or an independent, or any other third party that has some slim shot at getting elected. Second, this entry may contain some expletives. I'm not sure how nice and civil I'm willing to be with all that's gone on. I think that's about it for now. On to the entry....

Obviously I'm incredibly enraged by the response of most people in charge in this disaster. Now, this isn't only about Bush, although he does carry most of the blame in my opinion. I'll start with the people in charge in Louisiana. (Yes, this entry is going to be mainly about New Orleans because that's what's been focused on in the news lately.) They do carry some of the blame. They should have done anything within their power to do what needed to be done before the storm hit. Use school buses and any other means of mass transportation to get people evacuated who have NO other means to get out of the city. If nothing else, you can at least make sure the shelter you're sending these people to has an adequate amount of food and water available for people to use for a decent amount of time. They didn't even do that much. However, after the hurricane struck and devastated a large chunk of the Gulf coast, I think the local people in charge were doing everything in their power to help people out.

Now on to the Bush rant. While the people on the local and state level were trying to cope with the tremendous disaster they had on their hands, where was Bush? Our "fearless leader" was on a five-week (!) vacation at his ranch. Five weeks?? I realize that running the country must be a very difficult job, and I certainly would not want to do it myself. But it does seem like Bush is on vacation more often than he is working. I mean, really, how many average people in America actually have at least five weeks of vacation a year? I'm guessing very few. And of these people, can they take all their weeks of vacation at once? Probably not. But that's beside the point. It seems that every time there is some sort of crisis in the world or right here at home, Bush seems to be at his damn ranch in Texas. And this was no exception.

And where the hell is Cheney through all of this? I haven't heard his name in a while. My guess is that he's at some undisclosed location so no one can find him.

So, anyway, Bushie's on vacation for fours weeks prior to Katrina's landfall. Then he waits an extra two days after the landfall to say, "Oh, I guess I should cut my vacation short and help the country I was elected to run." Yes, he cut his vacation short by two days. Two?! That's it? If I were him, and I'm glad I'm not because I don't need that kind of stress, I would have been on a plane back to the White House a couple days before the hurricane hit. Especially since it was pretty obvious to just about anyone that the hurricane was actually going to make landfall somewhere along the Gulf. I mean, it barely passed over Florida and was continually gaining strength. And I know that hurricane predictions aren't always the most accurate, but most of the time the hurricane does move within its "cone of error." So, it shouldn't have been surprising that the hurricane was heading towards the Gulf coast. And it was a category five hurricane up until nearly landfall. I know that what the different categories mean is not exactly clear to everyone (hell, I'm not really sure what the difference is between a cat 4 and a cat 5, except the winds are stronger in a cat 5) but considering it was at the highest level it could go on the Saffir-Simpson scale, most people had to know it was going to be a devastating hurricane.

Our fearless leader then flies over the scarred area just to see what kind of devastation really occurred. Well, that's nice, especially days after the hurricane hit. Then he has the audacity to say that the results going on are "not acceptable." Really. Like we couldn't see that from the beginning. That's like the pot calling the kettle black. He spends an extra two days on vacation while there are people (most of them probably his supporters, perhaps until now) starving, drowning, and all other sorts of nasty ways to die. And he basically says things aren't getting done. What I would have done is the following. I know the storm is going to hit somewhere along the Gulf. I'd have units sent out to strategic locations with food, water, medicine, and the means to get any people that didn't evacuate out of town. These locations would be far enough away so they wouldn't be affected by the full force of Katrina, but close enough that they could get to the devastated areas within a day. And I wouldn't mind if I were stepping on the toes of the people in charge at the local and state level. Things needed to be done and done quickly. At the least, I'd work with them right away and tell them my plans. It just seems like such an obvious thing to do.

So, the results are "not acceptable." What does Bush do from here? He says he's going down to the coast to have a walking tour and see the devastation for himself. While that sounds all nice and everything, really, I think it's detracting from what could be going on. First of all, he'd need some security while he's down there, since, by that time, things have already started to descend into anarchy. So, that's taking away from what security is already there trying to keep the peace. Second, does he really need a first hand look at how bad everything is there before he starts sending in troops and supplies for the survivors? I don't think so. Third, I really think the only reason he went down to MS, AL, and LA is to show people that he's a "caring" person, and to get a few photo ops in. I saw some of his press conference in Biloxi on Friday because that pre-empted my soap for a bit. I don't know if it's just because I've never liked Bush, but I could have sworn that while he was talking about all the work that needs to be done, he had some sort of weird smirk or something on his face. He just didn't look sincere. At least not to me. I'm sure Bush supporters will disagree to no end on this point.

Also, courtesy of "Wait, wait, don't tell me" on NPR, I heard quite the doozy of a quote from our fearless leader. He said, "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees." Really? How can he possibly say that? I've heard studies say that the levees would only withstand a category three storm. Obviously Katrina was a little bit stronger than that. I've also heard that some of the money going into studying the levee system was diverted away from that for some reason or another. (I'm sure the Iraq war had something to do with it.) So, really, it shouldn't have been a surprise to him, or anyone really. Everyone should have expected something like this would happen at some point. I realize that it is usually people's inclination to procrastinate to no end (I'm no exception), but New Orlean is below sea level. Surely a city as big and prominent and full of history as this one should have some sort better protection from flooding. I mean, the levees are made of dirt! I would think a stronger material is in order. Plus, the fact that they are only built to withstand a moderate strength storm is just laughable. Granted, category 4's and 5's don't happen that often, but often enough to warrant some extra protection, I'd think. But, no, the government doesn't want to spend money on things like protecting cities from natural disasters. Terrorism is the big concern lately.

While terrorism is something important to be concerned about, I think our country's welfare is also equally important. We have so many troops in Iraq and all around the world taking care of other country's problems that it doesn't seem like we have enough here in our own country to take care of ourselves. Now, this isn't just a Bush thing either, but he seems to be a big culprit recently, with this seemingly unending (with no plan for an exit) war in Iraq. I'm not even qualifying it as a war on terror, because I can't justify it as being a war on terror from the beginning. Now it may be with all the anti-American sentiment in Iraq. But I'm getting off topic here. The point is that there aren't enough troops, seemingly, in America to have responded in a quick fashion to the devastation from Katrina, no matter what Bush seems to think. Part of his news conference on ABC last week was directed at how many troops are in Iraq, and Bush basically said that we can handle it here even with the smaller number of troops here. Whatever.

I've heard from one of my friends that Bush has a 46% approval rating on how he's handling things with regards to Katrina. And he has a 47% disapproval rating. (Apparently 7% of people either don't care, can't decide, or live under rocks somewhere and have no idea what's going on.) Frankly, I'm surprised that it's that high.

It seems to me that we could relate this disaster to a terrorist attack. I mean, isn't this the type of this the Department of Homeland Security was preparing for. Well, I guess not exactly the type of thing, since it didn't come from Osama. However, this does show how woefully underprepared we are for this kind of disaster. Honestly, I'm quite afraid of what would happen if there was another terrorist attack, God forbid. Since we can't seem to respond to a hurricane in a reasonable amount of time, I'm really worried.

I truly think that as soon as this disaster is cleaned up that there should be some sort of ramifications on Bush and his administration. I'm thinking on the order of impeachment. It seems necessary to get him the hell out of office. (And this isn't just coming from me because I've never liked him. I'd feel the same way if it were a Democrat.) People get fired all the time for gross incompetence. Why not the President too? Clinton almost got impeached because he had an affair. Bush has had hundreds more people die on his watch that could have been avoided. I don't think anything is going to happen to him though. He'll remain in office for another three years. He is the morals president after all. That's why he remained in office, even though I value honestly pretty highly as a moral, and he doesn't seem to care if he's lying to people.

OK, I guess I should get off my soapbox for now. I just had to rant about what's happening. Things could have been handled so much better, but they weren't and people who could have survived this tragedy have died because of the lack of quick response on the federal level. I know as soon as the devastation has cleared up sufficiently, the blame game will start (it already has) and Bush will probably worm his way out of this scrape too. I find unnecessary death unacceptable, and at the moment, I find Bush and his administration unacceptable as well.

It starts....

2005-08-31T16:53:00.000-05:00

Well, the semester has officially begun. I'm not sure how to feel about that. Mostly, I'm a little bummed. I absolutely love summers in State College. You can walk around campus without feeling overly claustrophobic. If you want to go to a bar (which I only occasionally do), you can easily find someplace to sit and you can talk with whomever you went with without feeling like your shouting to make yourself heard. And you can get on any loop or link and not have to worry about it being overcrowded.

However, with the passing of time, summers end and the fall semester begins. Now all the undergrads are back on campus and some of them are being a bit more stupid than I thought they were. For example, I was on the bus this afternoon heading back to my car in the BJC lot. I got on at College and Allen, which is typically what I do on days that I have therapy. And already the buses are starting to run slow. (Not even two days into the frickin' semester....) So, the blue loop was pretty crowded because people are scared to walk very far in the rain, I guess. I'm included in that, but I have a lot farther to go than most of the people taking the bus. Anyway, I'm sort of digressing here. Apparently today was being an idiot day on the bus. First, someone didn't pull the cord until we were right at the stop he wanted to get off at, which I can accept if he's new here. Then, a few stops later, someone else decides to sneak in the back doors of the bus, even though it's relatively clearly labeled that people shouldn't enter that way. The bus driver did call him on it, which was gratifying to me. Last, there was this group of three Asian people near the back door just yammering on like there was no tomorrow. The bus driver repeatedly goes on the intercom to tell people to move to the back of the bus. But do they move? Nope! All they do is squeeze in closer to the back door. It's not that hard to move up a couple steps and get closer to the back of the bus, but people in general don't seem to get that concept. I swear, some people should just have the word "moron" tattooed on their forehead so the rest of us can avoid them when possible.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of in ranting mode today.

I've come to the conclusion recently that people who have really loud bass in their cars should, at the very least, be smacked upside the head repeatedly. I concluded this while I was at home a couple weeks ago for a mini-vacation. Now, granted, our house isn't exactly new, so a little noise getting in is to be expected. Plus, we live on a somewhat busy street. So I can totally expect noise to occur. And I'm fine with that. However, on numerous occasions a car would go zooming down the street with bass blaring out of the car so loud that our house would rattle. Is there really any necessity for that? It just doesn't make sense. Plus, most of the time, the cars that have loud bass are either old, poorly made, or falling apart, so as the car goes past, the bass doesn't even sound from the outside, and I can only assume that it doesn't sound good on the inside either. Of course, these same people are probably half-deaf so it doesn't make a difference to them. I just find it incredibly annoying. Very few cars are built decently enough to support a sound system that can pump out that much bass. Plus, I don't think there is any excuse for people to deem it necessary to share what they're listening to in their car with the rest of the outside world. But, that is just my opinion.

One more rant before going on. So, I'm trying to get people organized for the upcoming candidacy exam, which I'm still bitter I have to retake completely, but I'll just have to get over that. Anyway, I'm trying to set a time for anyone who's interested in studying as a group to get together to organize when/where to meet. Plus, I also want to discuss the possibility of getting the exam moved to before Christmas rather than after. So, trying to find a time to meet this week yet is hard enough when working around nine different schedules. What makes it tougher is when several people don't send me what times they are free. So, I have limited data to go on there. That's part a of this rant. Part b is that one person didn't respond to my original email that I sent out to all of the grad students. This person was writing to a different person who has the same first and last initials as me, but a different middle initial, and therefore, a different email address. So, he comes in to tell me that I didn't put him on the list. Well, I told him that I hadn't gotten any emails from him, and he didn't believe me. So I bring up my email and show him, and he wants to look at all the different names I've gotten email from before he believes me. Then he tells me that he's been sending it to someone else. How does someone do that? I mean, whenever I want to respond to someone's email, I hit "reply" and type away. So, that made me a little upset today. Usually I can tolerate other people's blonde moments, especially since I have them quite often, but today I just was in no mood for it. Part c (yes, this is a rant of many parts) is that I decided on a time that I thought would work for most everyone, and it turns out the first time I had proposed worked better. Of course, this goes back to part a. I had limited data to work with, so I had to make do with what I had. I eventually decided to go back to the original time I had proposed because it worked for more people. So, hopefully everyone will show up.

Now on to other things....

As one of my previous entries stated, last week I played poker with a group of meteo grads and other people. Apparently lady luck was hovering over me because I actually won!!! I was utterly shocked by it. By the time we got the group pared down to five people I had half of the chips in play. So, I knew that unless I made a huge mistake, I should still wind up in the money. How I got most of those chips is really quite impressive. I had pocket aces and Chuck had ace/queen, I think. I was slowplaying my aces. How could I not? I didn't want to scare anyone out of the pot. So, the flop has an ace in it. I make a modest bet and Chuck goes all in. I do a little acting and look at my hole cards again, and then call. Needless to say, Chuck was shocked by what I had, and I won the hand. So, I was impressed with that bit of skill I had. I was actually playing really well. I even had some pretty good reads on people, which I usually don't have. So, I'm happy with my performance.

Other than that, not much else is new. I'm going to Uniontown this weekend to see Ingrid and to get out of State College for a while. I don't foresee that happening anytime in the near future, so I might as well take advantage of it while I can. I'm not sure yet what we're doing, but even if it's not much, it'll still be fun.

Today I had therapy. It was a rough one today. I hate the slowness of the healing process. While it's true that I have a lot of issues to work through, sometimes I wish there was just a magic pill that would make it all better. And I'm not talking about anti-depressants. Those might help, but they're not a cure. It would definitely only be a band-aid for me. At least recently, I can actually start working on the hard stuff, issues dealing with my father and everything that's happened in the past five or so years. Well, actually my entire life, but it completely changed about five years ago. It's going to be a rough going, but hopefully I'll make it through. I just get tired of going at it basically on my own. I haven't told most of my friends about it because I really don't want to burden them and because it would take so damn long to go through my life story. Eventually, maybe I'll tell some people, just so I don't have to support myself through it, becuase I get tired of supporting myself. It's really quite exhausting. Of course, today, I comforted myself with a chocolate shake from Irving's, so I'm feeling a little better now. That may be just a sugar rush, though.

Anyway, I have lots to think about/brood over from my session today, which is why I'm glad I've arranged it so that I can just go home right after therapy. I definitely don't think I could have handled going back to the office today after my session. It would have been way too hard.

Well, I suppose I should be off now. I've been writing in here for long enough. I should really go get some food because I feel the sugar rush starting to subside. Besides this entry is getting to be way too long the way it is. I really shouldn't save stuff to write about for so long. But time just doesn't always allow for me to write entries. So, I make do with what I have. On that note, I really must be off so I can eat!

Katrina

2005-08-29T20:35:00.000-05:00

I've decided for this entry (and possibly all future entries) to forego the titling convention I'd set up a few months back by naming my posts with movie titles. This entry is going to be more "newsy" than others have been. But it's something I feel that I should write about.

Obviously, this entry is going to be on Hurricane Katrina. I think it's very appropriate. It is a monster storm that left damage, destruction, and devastation in its wake.

It was a very impressive storm after it first crossed extreme southern Florida and strengthened in the Gulf of Mexico. At 6:00 pm last night (eastern time) the eye was incredible. I haven't seen an eye like that in a storm in quite some time. I don't usually put pictures in my blog, but I'll make an exception this once. (Of course, if I like how it turns out, you may be seeing pictures again.) I saved this one from the NOAA website. It's the GOES storm floater visible satellite picture yesterday late afternoon.

So, the hurricane made landfall early this morning in Louisiana, and then again on the LA/MS border. I watched a little of the coverage this morning while I was eating breakfast. What can I say? I'm a weather weenie. I'm very interested in storms and the destruction they leave behind. But then I had to go to campus to try to get some work done, which was hard to do with all the articles I could read about what was going on with the storm.

Needless to say, I didn't get a whole lot done today. One of the articles I read from cnn.com told of how New Orleans could have become a huge expanse of toxic sludge, what with the possibility of water treatment plants being ripped apart by the storm and other such buildings. I was deeply disturbed by this article mainly because I felt bad for anyone that had no means of evacuating the city when they had the chance. The most disturbing part of the article was a comment by Ivor van Heerden, from the LSU Hurricane Center:

"Imagine you're the poor person who decides not to evacuate: Your house will disintegrate around you. The best you'll be able to do is hang on to a light pole, and while you're hanging on, the fire ants from all the mounds -- of which there is two per yard on average -- will clamber up that same pole. And eventually, the fire ants will win."

Isn't that just a depressing thought? I'm not even sure what to make of that. My guess is that the ants will viciously attack the human clinging to the light pole for dear life and I guess that person is going to die. Talk about horrible ways to die! (If you want, you can read the whole article here.)

Just watching the damage being shown from various sources today kind of makes one take stock of one's life. There was another article I read today, again on cnn.com (click here). The quote that I found incredibly sad is as follows:

"The water's rising pretty fast. I got a hammer and an ax and a crowbar, but I'm holding off on breaking through the roof until the last minute. Tell someone to come get me please. I want to live."

This is from Chris Robinson (via cnn.com) talking to the Associated Press on his cell phone. I cannot imagine what it must have been like being anywhere that Katrina had hit. I don't know how or if I could have handled it. Of course, then there are those reporters who are getting blown around trying to show people what it's like in the hurricane, but yet telling them that their best bet is to stay inside. Um, hello? Shouldn't you be following your own advice? I realize that a video camera is not going to be able to withstand hurricane force winds if left alone outside, but take video from inside a building. Or at least wait until there is a lull in the storm, relatively speaking, of course. But, hey, who am I to judge what's been going on for as long as I can remember? I'm just saying that one of these times, some guy reporting the news is going to get hurt in one of these storms, and it isn't going to be pretty.

I also heard on CNN on Paula Zahn's show that in one of the states, I can't remember which right now because there was so much devastation, that some of the rescuers saw bodies floating in the floodwaters. It really makes me sad that some people didn't have the means to escape before the storm hit. It makes me angry at the others who figured this would just be a false alarm again, kind of like the boy who cried wolf, so they decided to stay and wait it out. I think this might teach people to take the weather seriously.

Well, I think I've hit all the things I want to say about this storm. My thoughts and prayers go out to those survivors that they get rescued and can return to their homes and rebuild their lives. Even with my morbid curiousity and needing to see coverage a lot, my heart still goes out to these people. Now, with that, I say good night at this time. My next entry will hopefully not be so serious, but who knows? It all depends on what's going on in the world.

*edited 9/5/05 11:22am

Insomnia

2005-08-24T19:02:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm back to posting in this blog again. I know, I'm becoming really crappy at it. I just never seem to have enough time to devote to writing one of "my entries." I put that in quotes because mine seem to be longer than the average person's. It's no big surprise to me that I don't seem to get many comments from people. I think most get bored after about a paragraph.

So, let's see, what's been happening with me in the last month. I think I've just about settled into my new apartment, finally. There are a few more things I'd like to arrange, but things are really starting to come together nicely. It definitely feels more homey than any other place I've lived in so far. I think this may just be my permanent home until I'm done at Penn State, whenever that may be.

I did get to go home last week, which is always really nice. The only part about it I didn't like so much was the drive. I forgot what a horrendously boring drive that can be. And of course, I decide that I should go home the week where it's really hot and humid out. I didn't have a whole lot of choice in the matter, though. I have to give a presentation at our group meeting this week, and last week my therapist was on vacation, so it made sense for me to as well. Anyway, the drive wasn't very eventful either way. On the way home, I got stuck for an hour in a traffic jam in north central Ohio. There was a really bad accident; a semi went off the road, and as I was going past, I couldn't see the cab, only the trailer. I'm not entirely sure what happened. I do feel kind of bad, though, for thinking, as I was stuck in traffic, that there had better be a bad accident holding us up. But, I was a little pissy, and hot, and sweaty, with no air conditioning. After that, though, the drive was pretty boring. I hit some heavy rain in Indiana, but after that, it was smooth sailing, even in Chicago. It was after 8:00 central time when I got there, so rush hour was pretty much over. I've come to believe that there is never going to be a time in Chicago when there is no traffic, though.

My week at home, was very nice, though. I didn't do much of anything, which is how vacation is supposed to be. I watched tv, played with Higgins, read some more of Wicked, went to visit the grandparents, and spent some time with Mom and Bree. We also rented some movies. Guess Who is a pretty cute movie, although a little predictable. It wasn't the best movie on earth, but it was at least entertaining. I also saw The Aviator. I must say, I'm not all that thrilled with that movie. First of all, it was nearly three hours long. Secondly, it didn't start to get really interesting until nearly two hours into the movie. I was very tempted several times to just stop watching it, but I'm too stubborn to give up. Plus it got so much Oscar buzz that I thought it had to get pretty good sometime. Third was the ending. By that, I mean, it ended. It didn't feel like the story was finished at all. It just kind of stopped, like whoever was making it got bored with it or ran out of money or something. I hate it when movies do that. That's like reading a novel and finishing 100 pages from the end. What's the point?

Anyway, on to my drive back here. Again, it was hot and humid, and rather uneventful. Chicago had lots of traffic for a Saturday because there was an air and water show. And a cold front moved through the night before, but I felt like I was following the rain the entire drive back here. Then when I got back, I unloaded my car, and spent several hours sitting up because I was overcaffeinated and overtired. I didn't get to sleep until 5:00 AM. I wasn't a happy camper. I've never been that wired before. I think I'm still catching up on sleep.

Well, I think I'm going to stop for now. It's poker night tonight, and I need to head out pretty soon. Hopefully the poker gods are smiling on me.

Independence Day

2005-07-28T22:54:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm back and I have some time before I normally go to sleep to write something in here. It's taken me a while, but things have been kind of crazy for me, what with moving and all. I've totally forgotten how long it takes to get an apartment all situated. True, I haven't been spending all that much time on it, but it's still taking quite a while. But the place I'm living in now is very, very nice. Spacious, nice big kitchen, pretty large bedroom, and a walk-in closet! I definitely can see me settling here for the rest of my time at Penn State, however long that may be.

So, what have I done in the past month, besides move? Honestly, not a whole lot. Moving is always quite the ordeal. I did have a lot of people help me out, though, which was really, really nice. With that many people, and almost all of them bringing their own car, things went really fast. I moved most of my stuff in about three hours. I gotta love that!

Lately, I've been doing a lot of shopping for stuff for the apt. I forgot how much extra stuff I needed after having lived with roommates last year. I still don't think I'm completely done with the shopping part, though. There are still some things I'd really like to get, like a couple throw pillows for my futons so I don't have to lean up against a wooden arm. I'm sure there is other stuff, too, but I can never think of it until I'm out shopping.

I'm slowly starting to get settled in, though. Most of my big furniture was where I wanted it to be within a couple days, mainly because it's easier to move other stuff around without having to avoid tripping over the big stuff. Now it's just the little stuff I have to worry about finding places for. But it will get done at some point, hopefully before the semester starts.

Another thing I've spent a good chunk of time doing is reading the latest Harry Potter book. Karen is the office gatekeeper of the book. She's been passing it around the office, because most of us are too cheap to buy it in hardcover. I got it right after she was done reading it. It was a very good book. A pretty quick read, and I never thought I'd say this about any of the Potter books, but this one could have been a bit longer. There were many details from previous books that I had to think back on. This book did lay out a lot of stuff that needs to be tied-up in the last book. I have a feeling the last book is going to be very long in order to tie everything up.

The only thing I could possibly complain about this book is the reveal of who the half-blood prince is. It seemed kind of anti-climatic. However, at the end of the book a main character dies, and it's incredibly sad. I'm not saying any more for those people that read this blog and may not yet have read the book. I don't want to spoil it for anyone.

Other than that not much else is new. Well, besides the fact I almost got run over today. I was at the corner of College and Allen, which is typically a pretty busy intersection. Anyway, I got off the bus to stop at the ATM and get some breakfast from Irving's and I was about to cross the street. I waited for the walk signal to come up, and I started to proceed across the street. Luckily, I decided to look to make sure no cars were coming. All of a sudden I see this pickup truck barreling down College, going through the red light at least ten seconds after it turned red. There was no way he thought he could make it before the light turned red. I'm just glad I had the foresight to look to make sure there were no oncoming vehicles. Becuase at the speed he was going, I definitely would have been severely injured, if not dead.

So, that was my excitement for the day. And I think on that note, it's a good time to sign out of my blog. Hopefully my next entry won't be quite so far from now, but one can never tell with me.

Two Weeks' Notice

2005-07-01T20:30:00.000-05:00

Well, it's official. Two weeks from today I'm moving to a new apartment. I'm actually kind of excited. Not about the actual moving itself, mind you. I'm so incredibly sick of packing up my life and moving every summer. I'm just excited because it's such a nice place. Very spacious, huge kitchen, and it has a washer and dryer included. Yes, it's a bit expensive, but having the washer/dryer in my apartment will save me time and money. Plus, it's on the other side of town, near Wal-Mart, Target, three different grocery stores, Best Buy, etc. And it's right near the bypass, so I can get to the mall pretty quickly, and I can just hop on the highway within minutes and head to Altoona.

Other than that, not much else is new with me. I've been dealing with the not-passing the qualifying exam thing as well as I can. I'm still not thrilled, but it gets easier with every day. I haven't really let it stop me from doing what I would normally do every day.

I've also signed up for message boards for the soaps I watched. It's kind of fun, actually. It's nice to be able to chat with people around the country about the soaps I watch, since I can only do that with my friend Ingrid every once in a great while. I really enjoy it. Plus, it's nice to see other people feel the same way I do about the shows I watch.

Tomorrow I'm off to Greensburg to go to a mall and visit with Ingrid. It should be fun. It'll definitely be nice to get out of State College for a while. It's a nice town, don't get me wrong, but I like to get out every now and then.

Well, I guess that's it. I probably won't post anything before the fourth, so Happy Independence Day!

Fallen

2005-06-23T20:39:00.000-05:00

I found out the results of the candidacy exam today. Unfortunately, I didn't pass either section of the exam, which is why the title is what it is. I actually thought I might have passed at least one section, which is probably why this hurts a bit more than I thought it would. I couldn't even keep my emotions in check while in my office. I had to go outside to call my mom and Bree to let them know how I did. Eventually I did pull myself together enough to gather up my things from my office and come back to the apartment.

I'm still feeling kind of bad about it. It's hard to think that with all the time and effort I put into this thing that nothing came of it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm extremely proud of myself that I actually went in and took the test. That, in itself, is quite an accomplishment. But still, I wish I would have done at least a little bit better.

I did get some encouraging words from Dr. Shirer today, though. After he gave me the results, he said that I shouldn't just give up. He also said that he's seen this before. People have failed the first time, and then came back to pass the second time. And he said that based on working with me, he knows I can do it. So, that's encouraging, at least.

Now where do I go from here? I don't know. That's the honest truth. Since people think that I shouldn't lose hope, I guess I'm going to continue on after this MAJOR setback. I mean, it's not like I can't pass the next time. At least, I hope it's not. I just wish this were an easier decision for me. I'm definitely staying here. I've already applied for a new apartment. So, I'm kind of committed to it. All I can do it wait, study and see what happens.

I guess my biggest mistake in this whole thing is really only studying for the exam the couple weeks prior to it. Not that that was entirely my fault, though. I was really busy with grading and teaching and stuff. And I just didn't have any motivation to study beyond that. Still, I did my best, and studied as hard as I could. I don't really know what I would have changed besides studying more often for it.

I'm really trying not to let this get me down too much either, which is hard for me, as many people probably know. I already have so much on my plate with depression and all, that this really sets me back. I was getting somewhat better, thanks to my therapist. Now I don't know though. It brings me back to a sort of self-loathing place that I really don't like to be in, but can't help going to when the going gets rough. I guess this is just more fodder for therapy. Like I need any more stuff to discuss there.

At least I do have a new apartment to fall back on. It should be really nice there too. It's in a nice area of town, plus it's close to all the major shopping places: Wal-Mart, Target, Lowes, Weis, Giant, Wegmans, Best Buy. It's huge too. Lots of space, and it comes with a washer and dryer, which means, no getting quarters every other week to do laundry, and not having to really plan out when to do laundry so I can go at a relatively quiet time. I'll be able to do laundry whenever I want.

Other than that, not much else is new in my life. I'm doing my best to pull myself together and dust myself off so I can continue on with my research and not be setback too much by this news. It may take a couple days, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it.

Some Like It Hot....

2005-06-14T22:12:00.000-05:00

.... but I sure as hell am not one of them! I'm so completely sick of the heat and humidity here. It's been over a week now that it's been so hot. I thought there was supposed to be some relief tonight, but apparently not. Or at least not in the form of thunderstorms. The State College effect occurs once again. They've completely crapped out before they got here. Not that I'm entirely surprised. I've heard that relief is on the way for the weekend, but I'm not entirely sure I believe that, even though I study meteorology. I'll believe it when I see it.

Things aren't going too badly here other than not being able to cool off my room enough to sleep well at night. (Sounds familiar to those of you that read this fairly often.) I'm running way behind on sleep, which is not good since I have a presentation to give on Thursday for my group meeting. I'm just hoping that I can catch up in the next couple nights.

So far, I'm pretty sure this presentation isn't going to be one of my finest. I don't exactly have a lot of stuff done to present, but I'll present what stuff I can. I'm still not even sure where I want to go with this research. I'm just getting my feet wet, which is kind of sad, because I've been working with Ray for two semesters now. Unfortunately, the first one of those I had turbulence, which took up a good chunk of time, and the second I was a TA, which took up an even larger chunk. But, I have the whole summer ahead of me with nothing to distract me from my research except for my own lack of motivation. Luckily, that hasn't struck yet; presentations are great motivators.

Speaking of being a TA, sort of, I just looked at the evaluations that Dr. Shirer got for the semester, and overall I'd say the students thought I did a good job, even though many of them criticized my grading. Some thought I was too harsh, but some of those people did grudgingly accept the fact that they learned something from my harsh grading. I know I can be picky, but I wasn't overly bad. Plus, I was a math major and am very adament about using the correct notation. On average, though, I believe that students were averaging mid-to high B's on their problem sets, which is pretty good for a dynamics class. A lot of them commented on how available I was, not that I had anything to do with that. Students would just show up no matter when and I couldn't exactly turn them away. So, I was stuck. But it was a good class. I'm happy with them.

Completely switching tracks, last weekend was pretty fun. A fellow meteo grad and his fiancee held a grill-out. A surprising number of people showed up. It was really fun to just kick back with some fellow meteo grads and relax, eat good food, watch storms roll through, and just have conversations about general things. It was just a great time. I didn't realize how much fun hanging out with some of my fellow students could be. I may have to do that more often.

This next weekend is looking to be pretty good as well. Hopefully my group meeting will actually still be on Thursday, because my advisor is out of town on Friday. Because of that, I'm taking the day off to look at apartments in the area. Hopefully I'll be able to find something I like. It would really help to know for certain how I did on my candidacy exam, but I'm still sticking around next semester at least, no matter what.

Then on Saturday, one of my officemate's husband or boyfriend or something to that effect is having an art exhibit that I'll probably go to. I'm always up for something a bit cultural. So, we'll see what happens.

One other new thing. I've been playing online poker tournaments (for play money) recently, to keep myself sharp for the meteo poker nights. I've found it to be quite fun. Plus, out of the five I've played, I've won twice! Granted, I've been getting rather lucky with catching cards when I need them. It's been great though, not quite the same as playing in real life, but still fun.

Well, I suppose I should get going. I need to try to get some sleep tonight. Hopefully I get more than I've gotten that past couple. If not, I'll just have to load up on caffeine tomorrow. Night!

Hairspray

2005-06-07T20:34:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm back from a nice long vacation. It was really great to be back home, and mainly away from State College for a couple weeks. Not that I don't like State College, but sometimes one just has to get away for a while.

The first couple days I had off I spent in Uniontown with Ingrid. We went to see Revenge of the Sith. I thought it was a good movie, definitely better than the previous two sequels, especially the first. The first prequel was the worst. It's sad when the animated creatures are better actors than the kid that was hired to play Anakin. There must have been a major crunch when it came to filming to hire that kid.

The next day we went hiking around Ohiopyle falls. I got some great pictures from there. Maybe even some that are frame-worthy. After I ate dinner at her house, I went to the hotel to leave my car and get up really early for my flight. While I did that, I watched the daytime emmys and was very happy that one of my favorite actresses from my favorite soap finally (!) won an award. She's deserved it for so long. This year was definitely one of her best.

Being at home was great. The first week, I hardly did anything but read and watch TV. I definitely needed the mental relaxation after the candidacy exam. It was really nice to just sleep as long as I wanted to chat with Mom and Bree. I also got some free meals from Grandma and Grandpa. We did some exciting stuff too. We went shopping in Milwaukee after my flight landed. That was fun, even though I was incredibly exhausted after that day.

I think the most exciting thing we did while I was home was going to see Hairspray. It's such a great musical! I absolutely loved it. I knew even before we went to see it that it had to be good because it won so many Tonys and I saw the closing number when I watched the Tonys the year it won. It impressed me so much that I bought the soundtrack without even having seen the show. Based on that, I thought the show had to be great. And it totally lived up to my expectations, even exceeding them. I'd be tempted to go see it again.

We also got to go to the NEW zoo in Green Bay. It's an excellent zoo, on par with some in some bigger cities. I think I got some good pictures of some animals there, but I won't know how they turned out until I get them developed.

Overall, it was a fantastic trip home. I didn't want to leave, but alas, I had to so I could get some research done. So, I'm back, and surprisingly motivated. Hopefully it lasts throughout the summer. Now, all I need to do is find the motivation to find a new apartment. Actually it's the time. I'm sure I can find it though. Hopefully I can find a decent apartment for a good price. We'll see, though.

I guess I should get going. It's time to just chill out and surf the net for a while before bed.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

2005-05-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

Stick a fork in me..... I'm done!! The candidacy exam is over, and I couldn't be happier. I'm just hoping my weeks of studying kind of pays off. I'm very excited to be done and not have to study for hours on end and be stressed. I'm even taking the next couple weeks off. Tomorrow I head to Uniontown to see Ingrid, and then I go to Pittsburgh on Friday to stay overnight and head to the airport Saturday morning to fly to Atlanta and then to Milwaukee and I'll be home for two weeks. It should be nice, just to be away from State College. I like it here enough, but sometimes I need a break.

Anyway, I don't have much else to say in my entry tonight, which I know is shocking since my entries take up many many paragraphs. My brain is tired, and I'm completely drained. Hopefully I'll get a chance to write something in here while I'm at home. Otherwise I'll write more when I get back!