A Minor Improvement

It's been a while since I last posted, mainly because I wanted to wait until I was at least partially out of the major funk I've been in for the past two weeks. Now, I feel like I've risen a bit, emotion-wise. It's a nice feeling to not feel a sense of doom and gloom, and to have some moments of lightness. That is something I've really some to cherish lately.

Part of the reason I think the funk is lifting is that the drugs I'm on from the doctor are finally kicking in. I'm on a muscle relaxant which I take at the onset of a headache and a small dose of an anti-depressant that is also used for tension/migraine headaches. For a while there, I was never sure when to take the muscle relaxant because there was really no "offset" of the headache, and thus there was no onset either. It was just a constant thing. Now, it's finally become a little transient. Either it completely goes away for short periods of time, or it lessens enough so that I can actually feel like not just having my head down all the time.

Another part of the reason I'm feeling a little better is that I'm going to a psychiatrist as well as a therapist. Actually, I haven't started seeing the psychiatrist yet. I don't get to see him until the beginning of November, which is the earliest opening any of the doctors I've called has had. One of them didn't have an opening until next year. Apparently, a lot of people, myself included, need shrinking in State College. So, hopefully once I've found the right anti-depressant, I'll feel even better. This is unusual for me to be optimistic. It's kind of a nice feeling.

The final part of why I think I'm feeling a bit better is that I wrote to my long-time pen pal with basically a novella of why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. I think it helped to get some stuff off my chest. And, nice that he is, he wrote back to me fairly soon after I sent him the email. It was really great to be able to share everything with someone, even if it wasn't "in person." And he shared back, which was great too. I've yet to write back to him, because I haven't really had the time to write another long-winded email. But I will at some point. That's a promise.

So, anyway, things are slowly looking up for me, which is a good thing after the past couple of weeks, believe me.

Now on Friday, I get to go see an ophthalmologist (an incredibly hard word to spell). The good part of that is that I don't have to be in the office that day. The bad part is just going. The eye doctor has never really been one of my favorite things in the world. The worst part of an eye exam is the puff test for glaucoma. I don't know what sadist came up with that test. I'm just not a big fan of that. And all the drops that get put in my eyes are annoying too. I'm not really good with eye drops at all, but if the person does it right it's not so bad. Anyway, the reason I'm going there is that I have this brown spot on my retina that the optometrist I originally went to wants to get checked out just to make sure it's nothing bad. This means my eyes get dilated, which is so much fun. That means that I should really get someone to drive me to Altoona, but I think that may be hard because most people aren't completely free on Fridays like I am. So, I'll probably end up driving myself. Luckily, though, my friend from undergrad, Ingrid, is coming up to visit me this weekend, so she's going to meet me in Altoona and kill time with me until my eyes are good enough to drive back here. If I can find someone who is free on Friday and doesn't mind just driving me down and going back, that would be great. Then when Ingrid gets there, she can just drive me back to State College. I don't think it's going to work out, and it's not really a big deal either.

On another note, I've finally officially submitted my abstract to the Ocean Science meeting in February 2006. If it gets accepted, I'll be going to Hawaii four months from tomorrow! Writing the abstract was quite difficult, because I don't know exactly how far I'll get with my research at that point. I hope I left it vague enough to cover all my bases. And I really hope it gets accepted to the meeting. It would be so cool to go to Hawaii in February. My advisor even encouraged me to stay there the whole week of the meeting, even if I don't attend sessions every day. It is a rather big trip, so it doesn't pay to rush back. Plus, I'll want to do some sightseeing. Hell, I may not want to come back after experiencing temperatures like that.

Another thing of note. Three weeks from today I turn 26. I always enjoy my birthday. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to celebrate this year. The past couple of years, I've invited people over for dinner, but most of my friends that I usually invited are either gone or I never see them anymore even if they are here. So, we'll see. That's something more I have to think about.

That same day is the next new episode of Lost. I'm not sure why they are taking a couple weeks off from it, but the next new episode should be really good. One of the castaways will die. And since I've become such a spoiler addict, I already know who it is. But I won't say here in case anyone that reads this blog wants to be spoiler free. I also know that the person that dies is killed by another of the castaways. So, it should be an exciting episode. And on my birthday, no less.

Speaking of TV, I have to gripe about one of the shows I watch. Last night on Supernatural, they had an episode dealing with a shapeshifter. Now, usually, I look forward to shapeshifter stories in any form, because it's such an intriguing concept. Imagine being able to be anyone you wanted to be. Doesn't that sound cool? But, I digress. So, I was looking forward to this episode of Supernatural. However, after it, I was left a little disappointed. Some plot points were really stupid. For example, (I'm sorry for those of you that don't watch the show, but I have to gripe) after Sam and Dean figured out that a shapeshifter was assuming forms of people in town and killing their loved ones, they go chasing after it. That's fine. So, the find its lair and discover it there. It goes running off faster than they can get out of its sewer lair. I'm also fine with that. However, once they get out of the sewer, they decide to split up. This is where I'm having a major problem with the plot. First of all, they're chasing a shapeshifter, so splitting up is kind of dumb when the thing they're chasing can look like either one of them and they wouldn't know it. Second, they've been asking us to believe for the run of the series so far that Sam and Dean have had loads of experience with The Things That Go Bump In The Night. So, you'd think that they should know better than this, wouldn't you? That was the main thing I didn't like about the episode, which pretty much ruined it for me. A more minor thing came at the end of the episode. Sam trapped by the shapeshifter in Dean's form. Then of course, Dean comes in and shoots it with a silver bullet and it dies. It would have been more climatic, for me, if the shapeshifter had taken Sam's form so Dean wouldn't know right away who to kill. But, I'm not the writer. I could have done a better job with the plot, though. Just my opinion.

Still on the subject of TV, I've recently discovered that Night Stalker may be on the chopping block. I'm really saddened by that, because it's such a good show. I typically haven't been a huge fan of the spooky type movies, but this show has sort of changed my mind. It's really creepy, but not so much in a gory way. It's more of a psychological creepy. And every week it's getting better. This is why I'm a little disappointed that it could be canceled. Still, in a way, it's not all that surprising. The brilliant people at ABC decide to put it in the same time slot as CSI. If that's not a way to kill a show, I don't know what is. I don't know what time slot they'd have open for it otherwise, but that's not a time slot to put a new show in. Of course, ABC doesn't really have any well-established shows. It does have quite a few new-ish shows that are really popular (all of which I watch), but I don't even think any of those would have a chance in hell against CSI. It will disappoint me if Night Stalker does get canceled. But, there's really nothing I can do about that.

Well, I suppose I should get going for now. It's after 11 now, and I'm getting sleepy. And I've gotten my gripes out for the time being. It's nice to have the energy to gripe about unimportant things. It's definitely a sign I'm out of my major funk, which is most definitely a good thing. And it's a good note to end on, so there you have it.