It's been a while since I posted, and I feel compelled to write this out in order to get over it. So, here goes.
Today I had to give a group meeting talk, which is usually no big deal. We get up there, talk about whatever we're doing, and get feedback from the group (usually only the professors). So, today I decided to present stuff on the various talks I went to at the Ocean Science meeting. This was mainly because since I got back, I've either been teaching or grading, with a week off for spring break (I had to go visit my family since I haven't been home since Christmas). So, I put together what was a pretty good talk about the different causes of hypoxia and regions where hypoxia was prevalent.
So, I finished arranging the slides for my talk at about noon, and the meeting starts at 12:30. Usually I'm a bit more prepared, but having the meetings on Tuesday is throwing me off a bit. The first thing that pissed me off was that the one professor there (I'm not naming names to avoid that professor accidentally stumbling across my blog, not that he would do anything for fun on the internet) was basically not paying any attention to what I was saying. He'd be looking around the room, looking incredibly disinterested. I think that's incredibly rude. The least he could do is pay attention or zone out while facing the front.
Anyway, I had to rush back from the meeting to get ready to teach. Damn them for making the meeting later so I have to rush around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I taught what I felt was one of the best lectures I've given, and then I go back to my office. A student came with me because she wanted help on the lab, which I'm always willing to do. After helping her, I went to check my email, and one of the messages is from the professor in question. He basically wrote that we should be better prepared for our talks and make them relevant to our research. I'm thinking that the message was directed at me, but sent to the entire group that goes to these meetings (about 10 people in all). And then, as a final little jab, he says that "many of [us] give excellent talks."
Now, I don't care if he doesn't like my talk. I thought it was interesting, and it actually garnered more questions than the typical presentations. Especially this professor's, who like to make people feel ignorant at the end of the talk. The thing that irks me most is that he didn't have to common courtesy to confront me one on one. Nor did he have the tact to state things a little more nicely. And the fact that he sent it to everyone in the group is a bit cowardly.
So, frankly, I'm pretty pissed off at him at the moment. I'm starting to calm down about it, but it just annoys me when people make me feel less than worthy of their support, or even attention. It's not like I need any help in that department, with the depression and all.
But, basically my feeling that I don't care if he likes my talk or not. My feeling is that the talk, while being scientific, should also be interesting. Most of the time I see talks that meet the first goal, but overall, the majority of the talks I've seen aren't all that interesting. Basically, he can go *&#% himself for all I care.
OK, I'm done ranting now. I return you to your regular programming.
2 comments:
90% of those talks were never interesting to me. And the ones that were lost me after about 10 minutes. But you said that your talk yesterday brought out some questions - that's usually a good sign. If people ask questions, it's because they're interested enough to come up with something intelligent to say.
So this is my intelligent thought - screw you-know-who (no, not Voldemort). I wish I had learned earlier on in my life how to let things like this roll off my back. It's hard, especially when it comes from people in positions of power (although I think he THINKS he has more power than he does). Just remember that what he thinks or feels has NO bearing on anything real in your life.
"Group meetings are pointless"
Say it, love it :)
Thanks Karen, especially for letting me rant to you yesterday afternoon. That really helped! :) And I thought getting some questions, even just defining what hypoxia was, was a good sign too.
Like you, I also wish I would have learned better how to let stuff like this roll off my back. I know what he thinks shouldn't have any effect on what I'm doing. Although, now, I'm thinking I maybe won't include him on my committee. But I am a little bitter.
Oh, and I think your little quote is going to become my mantra. :)
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