Well, it's been over a month since I last posted, so I figured it was time to update this blog. I don't know why I'm so bad at updating this thing lately. I guess nothing of much importance has been happening in my life. Well, that and I blog nearly every day on TVGuide.com, so that takes up a lot of my writing time.
The only reason I'm updating right now is that I don't feel like doing work at the moment. Yeah, I know that's very shocking. ;)
I did hear back from two jobs I'd applied for. One called to make sure I was still interesting in the job and told me they'd be calling back in the middle of March (which is soon!) to possibly set up an interview. The other emailed me to tell me that I didn't make the interview cut. That one saddens me a little, but not too much, because that school was on the low end of places I wanted to live. It was in far western Minnesota, right on the MN/ND border, near Fargo. So, yeah, a bit too far away from home for me, but I needed to send my resume out to all sorts of places.
So, now I'm waiting to hear back about that other job, as well as to hear anything from any of the other schools. At this point, I really don't care what I hear (although if everyone rejects me, I'll be devastated), I just want to hear from them. I'm tired of playing the waiting game.
I guess that's it from me. Like I said, my life is pretty boring, so I really have nothing new to report. Hopefully I will soon, though. No promises or anything!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
I Hate Valentine's Day and Other Musings
I've been a slacker again with this blog. I never feel as if I have anything of importance to say anymore. Plus, I've been writing a lot on my other blog and my TVGuide.com blog, so writing here hasn't been as important. But, I guess it's time, yet again, to put some sort of update in this blog. Besides, I actually have the time to do it.
Apparently we're supposed to be getting a major winter storm here tomorrow into Wednesday. All I can say is it's about damn time. I'm looking forward to a good amount of snow. I've heard predictions up to a foot, which is pretty exciting. It reminds me of my first year here, where there were two snowstorms that each dumped about a foot of snow within a couple weeks. I think that may have been the only pleasurable part of my first year here. (First year of grad school totally sucks.)
Anyway, I'm hoping to see lots of snow, although that means digging my car out will be a pain. That also means I should drive it in to campus either Wednesday or Thursday so that when the plow comes through, my car isn't buried under more snow. We'll see what happens.
The one bad thing about a large amount of snow is that it's going to be a real bitch getting to the bus stop in the morning. Plus, I don't have good shoes for being out in the snow. I really should have thought about that before now, but we had such a mild and dry winter up until now that I put the thought of getting boots out of my mind. My shoes should be good enough, though, provided I don't have to walk in snow too much. If I need to, I'll just lean them up against a heater while I'm at home to dry them out.
In other news, the job search continues on. I think I've sent out about 15 resumes for teaching jobs in WI, IL, IN, and MN. I'm hoping at least one of them sticks. I just want a real job where I feel like a useful member of wherever I'm working. I don't feel that now, and I don't really like it. I just feel like the time I spend at work is wasted. Nor do I feel very useful or necessary to my job. I don't know. I just want things to be different. I'm definitely ready for a change, whatever that may be. As long as I don't have to get a crappy retail job, I'll be relatively happy.
Let's see. What else? Oh, yeah. I hate Valentine's Day. I know I've written about this before, but I have to say it again. I don't like how it's this day where couples are celebrated and singles aren't. It makes absolutely no sense to me. The only reason I see for it is for Hallmark to have yet another holiday where they make money. Maybe I'm just bitter because I don't have a relationship, or any sort of dating life whatsoever. Of course the first half of February sucks already because I'm reminded of my father, whose birthday was last week. (For those that don't know, my father is a selfish jackass that only wants a relationship with me now that he and Mom are divorced. It's a long, sordid story, which would probably make a good novel, and I don't want to get into it right now.) So, it's just hit after hit for the first couple weeks of February.
I've added yet another new thing to my plate. Not only am I blogging on TVGuide.com, I'm also writing a recap for a soap on soapcentral.com. I recap Wednesday's One Life to Live. It's a volunteer position, so I don't get paid, but it's kind of fun to do. Plus, I figure if I get my writing out there enough, maybe someone will notice me and hire me to do some writing. That's actually what I'd like to do with my life. I have this desire in me to create something. I don't know what that something is at the moment, but I figure writing is a good way to release some energy. So, we'll see if anything comes from that. It would be exciting if something would, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. It just would be fun to write for a living. At least that's what I think now. If I actually did it I might have a different opinion.
Hmmm. I guess that's about it from me. I have one other thing on my mind at the moment, but that seems like something for its own separate blog entry. So, perhaps another post will be coming in the next few days. Don't count on it, but it could happen. Anyway, I'm getting sleepy, so I'm going to go relax for a bit and wait for the snow to come!!
Apparently we're supposed to be getting a major winter storm here tomorrow into Wednesday. All I can say is it's about damn time. I'm looking forward to a good amount of snow. I've heard predictions up to a foot, which is pretty exciting. It reminds me of my first year here, where there were two snowstorms that each dumped about a foot of snow within a couple weeks. I think that may have been the only pleasurable part of my first year here. (First year of grad school totally sucks.)
Anyway, I'm hoping to see lots of snow, although that means digging my car out will be a pain. That also means I should drive it in to campus either Wednesday or Thursday so that when the plow comes through, my car isn't buried under more snow. We'll see what happens.
The one bad thing about a large amount of snow is that it's going to be a real bitch getting to the bus stop in the morning. Plus, I don't have good shoes for being out in the snow. I really should have thought about that before now, but we had such a mild and dry winter up until now that I put the thought of getting boots out of my mind. My shoes should be good enough, though, provided I don't have to walk in snow too much. If I need to, I'll just lean them up against a heater while I'm at home to dry them out.
In other news, the job search continues on. I think I've sent out about 15 resumes for teaching jobs in WI, IL, IN, and MN. I'm hoping at least one of them sticks. I just want a real job where I feel like a useful member of wherever I'm working. I don't feel that now, and I don't really like it. I just feel like the time I spend at work is wasted. Nor do I feel very useful or necessary to my job. I don't know. I just want things to be different. I'm definitely ready for a change, whatever that may be. As long as I don't have to get a crappy retail job, I'll be relatively happy.
Let's see. What else? Oh, yeah. I hate Valentine's Day. I know I've written about this before, but I have to say it again. I don't like how it's this day where couples are celebrated and singles aren't. It makes absolutely no sense to me. The only reason I see for it is for Hallmark to have yet another holiday where they make money. Maybe I'm just bitter because I don't have a relationship, or any sort of dating life whatsoever. Of course the first half of February sucks already because I'm reminded of my father, whose birthday was last week. (For those that don't know, my father is a selfish jackass that only wants a relationship with me now that he and Mom are divorced. It's a long, sordid story, which would probably make a good novel, and I don't want to get into it right now.) So, it's just hit after hit for the first couple weeks of February.
I've added yet another new thing to my plate. Not only am I blogging on TVGuide.com, I'm also writing a recap for a soap on soapcentral.com. I recap Wednesday's One Life to Live. It's a volunteer position, so I don't get paid, but it's kind of fun to do. Plus, I figure if I get my writing out there enough, maybe someone will notice me and hire me to do some writing. That's actually what I'd like to do with my life. I have this desire in me to create something. I don't know what that something is at the moment, but I figure writing is a good way to release some energy. So, we'll see if anything comes from that. It would be exciting if something would, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. It just would be fun to write for a living. At least that's what I think now. If I actually did it I might have a different opinion.
Hmmm. I guess that's about it from me. I have one other thing on my mind at the moment, but that seems like something for its own separate blog entry. So, perhaps another post will be coming in the next few days. Don't count on it, but it could happen. Anyway, I'm getting sleepy, so I'm going to go relax for a bit and wait for the snow to come!!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Cold Snap and Other News
It's finally feeling like winter here in PA. Not so much in the having snow on the ground, but more in the being pretty chilly outside. I have a feeling that this is just the beginning. We've been pretty spoiled this winter so far, so I'm expecting there to be a major storm sometime before April. Talk about hedging my bets, huh? This is why I'm not going to be a forecaster.
No news on the job front yet. I haven't exactly been trying all that hard, either. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have decided, though, that I'm going to expand my search quite a bit. I'm no longer limiting myself to just jobs using my math or meteorology degree. I'm going to look for jobs in any field that sounds at least moderately interesting to me. Plus, I figure, a master's degree has to carry some weight no matter what job I get, right? I mean, the only place that I think it would probably overqualify me for a job is in fast food.
One other interesting item of note to report to you all. I've started a TV commentary blog on TVGuide.com similar to my other blog here on blogger. My second real post (I have three, one introduction and two actual posts) became a featured post today! I was quite surprised and happy to see that. Apparently someone thought what I wrote was worthwhile. So, feel free to go check it out either at tvguide.com or the same text in my blogger entry here.
Other than that, not much is new with me. I stayed in my apartment to work from home today. Work is being used in a very loose sense. I did do some actual work, but not as much as I would have liked. But, since I had therapy today, I felt that actually taking the bus to work and having to interrupt my flow in the middle of the day would be counter-productive. I may have been wrong, but I'm not terribly upset about it. I've been working hard all week so far, so no guilt here.
Well, for not having much new with me, that last paragraph was pretty long, so I'll stop writing for now until the mood strikes to write again.
No news on the job front yet. I haven't exactly been trying all that hard, either. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have decided, though, that I'm going to expand my search quite a bit. I'm no longer limiting myself to just jobs using my math or meteorology degree. I'm going to look for jobs in any field that sounds at least moderately interesting to me. Plus, I figure, a master's degree has to carry some weight no matter what job I get, right? I mean, the only place that I think it would probably overqualify me for a job is in fast food.
One other interesting item of note to report to you all. I've started a TV commentary blog on TVGuide.com similar to my other blog here on blogger. My second real post (I have three, one introduction and two actual posts) became a featured post today! I was quite surprised and happy to see that. Apparently someone thought what I wrote was worthwhile. So, feel free to go check it out either at tvguide.com or the same text in my blogger entry here.
Other than that, not much is new with me. I stayed in my apartment to work from home today. Work is being used in a very loose sense. I did do some actual work, but not as much as I would have liked. But, since I had therapy today, I felt that actually taking the bus to work and having to interrupt my flow in the middle of the day would be counter-productive. I may have been wrong, but I'm not terribly upset about it. I've been working hard all week so far, so no guilt here.
Well, for not having much new with me, that last paragraph was pretty long, so I'll stop writing for now until the mood strikes to write again.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Time to start posting again
I've seriously been neglecting this blog, so I'm hoping that in the near future I will post more regularly instead of once a month like I've been doing the past few months. I think today will be more random thoughts, since I don't have anything of any real length to make a decent post.
- First off, I finally found out this week from my advisor that he can fund me through July now. That makes me happy, for the purely practical reason that I won't have to sublet my apartment anytime in the near future. However, I'm so disappointed with what I'm doing at work that I'm not sure that spending that much more time here is going to be good for me. I don't really feel passionate about the work I'm doing, which makes it incredibly hard to actually go to campus to do it. It also doesn't help that I have no idea what kind of job I want to look for. I really don't know what I want to do, which is kind of sad, in my opinion, especially having gone through all this schooling. I mean, I'm 27 and I feel exactly like I did when I was coming out of high school. I guess my next task is just to broaden my job search to just about anything that sounds interesting for me to do. If anyone out there has any suggestions, feel free to leave comments.
- The holidays were great. I loved being at home and not having anything to really worry about. It was just nice overall. I got to spend time with my sister and my mom. The only weird thing about the holidays was that there was no snow on the ground at all when I was home. The only snow I saw was the little bit that fell from the sky as I was driving up I-43 towards home. It just didn't quite feel like Christmas in that regard, although having weather in the 40s isn't anything to complain about.
- I was very happy about what I got for Christmas, too. My sister got me Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and my mom got me a bunch of sweatshirts, a pair of glittens (borrowing the word from Karen for a mitten/glove hybrid), a Pocket Dragon, and a piece of Fenton glassware. Not a lot, but much more than I expected to get. And a nice combination of useful and fun gifts. I also got a new carry-on from my grandparents. Not that I plan on flying much anymore, but having a nice piece of luggage is always good.
- Completely random thought, but still slightly on topic. I love the feel of brand new sweatshirts. I just really like how soft and fuzzy the inside of sweatshirts are before they've been washed several times over.
- On my drive back here after the holidays, I was listening to a news station through Chicago to keep track of the traffic, and there was a blurb about Pat Robertson. I seriously think this guy is delusional. Apparently God has been talking to him and He told him that there would be a major terrorist attack late this year. Am I the only one that thinks he's completely insane. Don't get me wrong, I believe in a higher power. What I don't believe is that God actually talks to all these religious zealots. Maybe it's just me, but I think Pat Robertson should just stay out of the news.
- On a related note, Bush's strategy in Iraq is finally changing! I don't know how because I didn't listen to him talk last night. I make it a point to not listen to him talk. He just irritates the hell out of me. It's about time that something gets changed there, though. I think something should have changed a couple years ago when it was clear that nothing productive was happening. But, hey, that's just my opinion.
- I have to comment on the Rosie-Donald feud going on. I feel that Miss America should have had her crown taken away after being caught underage drinking. She's supposed to be a role model for the youth of America and be working toward the greater good. At least I thought winners of pageants had platforms that spoke of things they want to accomplish that will help the world. So, I think Rosie was completely correct in calling out Donald about it. Of course, I didn't think this little fight would last for so long, nor that it would get so ugly. But still, both sides should just drop it. No good will come from it continuing, but if it must, I firmly stand on Rosie's side.
Well, I thought I had other things to say, but my mind is drawing a complete blank, so I'm going to end this post for now. As always I welcome comments, and if you do read this, feel free to stop by my other blog. That one will hopefully be updated more often as well. Leave comments there, too, if you'd like. OK, now I'll definitely stop because I'm feeling a bit shameless begging for comments here.
- First off, I finally found out this week from my advisor that he can fund me through July now. That makes me happy, for the purely practical reason that I won't have to sublet my apartment anytime in the near future. However, I'm so disappointed with what I'm doing at work that I'm not sure that spending that much more time here is going to be good for me. I don't really feel passionate about the work I'm doing, which makes it incredibly hard to actually go to campus to do it. It also doesn't help that I have no idea what kind of job I want to look for. I really don't know what I want to do, which is kind of sad, in my opinion, especially having gone through all this schooling. I mean, I'm 27 and I feel exactly like I did when I was coming out of high school. I guess my next task is just to broaden my job search to just about anything that sounds interesting for me to do. If anyone out there has any suggestions, feel free to leave comments.
- The holidays were great. I loved being at home and not having anything to really worry about. It was just nice overall. I got to spend time with my sister and my mom. The only weird thing about the holidays was that there was no snow on the ground at all when I was home. The only snow I saw was the little bit that fell from the sky as I was driving up I-43 towards home. It just didn't quite feel like Christmas in that regard, although having weather in the 40s isn't anything to complain about.
- I was very happy about what I got for Christmas, too. My sister got me Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and my mom got me a bunch of sweatshirts, a pair of glittens (borrowing the word from Karen for a mitten/glove hybrid), a Pocket Dragon, and a piece of Fenton glassware. Not a lot, but much more than I expected to get. And a nice combination of useful and fun gifts. I also got a new carry-on from my grandparents. Not that I plan on flying much anymore, but having a nice piece of luggage is always good.
- Completely random thought, but still slightly on topic. I love the feel of brand new sweatshirts. I just really like how soft and fuzzy the inside of sweatshirts are before they've been washed several times over.
- On my drive back here after the holidays, I was listening to a news station through Chicago to keep track of the traffic, and there was a blurb about Pat Robertson. I seriously think this guy is delusional. Apparently God has been talking to him and He told him that there would be a major terrorist attack late this year. Am I the only one that thinks he's completely insane. Don't get me wrong, I believe in a higher power. What I don't believe is that God actually talks to all these religious zealots. Maybe it's just me, but I think Pat Robertson should just stay out of the news.
- On a related note, Bush's strategy in Iraq is finally changing! I don't know how because I didn't listen to him talk last night. I make it a point to not listen to him talk. He just irritates the hell out of me. It's about time that something gets changed there, though. I think something should have changed a couple years ago when it was clear that nothing productive was happening. But, hey, that's just my opinion.
- I have to comment on the Rosie-Donald feud going on. I feel that Miss America should have had her crown taken away after being caught underage drinking. She's supposed to be a role model for the youth of America and be working toward the greater good. At least I thought winners of pageants had platforms that spoke of things they want to accomplish that will help the world. So, I think Rosie was completely correct in calling out Donald about it. Of course, I didn't think this little fight would last for so long, nor that it would get so ugly. But still, both sides should just drop it. No good will come from it continuing, but if it must, I firmly stand on Rosie's side.
Well, I thought I had other things to say, but my mind is drawing a complete blank, so I'm going to end this post for now. As always I welcome comments, and if you do read this, feel free to stop by my other blog. That one will hopefully be updated more often as well. Leave comments there, too, if you'd like. OK, now I'll definitely stop because I'm feeling a bit shameless begging for comments here.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Requisite Before-The-Holidays Post
Well, this is my last post before the holidays, so first off I'd like to wish any readers I have a happy whatever-it-is-you-celebrate! And now some random musings:
- It totally does not feel anything like Christmas to me. It's too warm and there's no snow. Of course, it doesn't help that the year is going so quickly for me that I can't believe that in just under two weeks it's going to be 2007. Plus, not being a student anymore is throwing off my sense of time. I've been a student for so long that I'm used to having a well-defined break for the holidays, but now I just keep working (ahem, "working") and don't have a specified few weeks off. So, it's just weird. But don't get me wrong, I don't miss being a student whatsoever.
- Karen has gotten me addicted to weffriddles. I like them because they can be quite tough unless you think about them a certain way. I'm now on Level 47.
- I've been applying for more jobs recently. I just applied to two government jobs, one for the Department of Labor and one for the Census Bureau. Both of these are statistician jobs, which works for me, since I have a B.S. in math. Plus, they both are based in Chicago, which is ideal for me. One, it's a large city. Two, it's really close to home. That is, it's three hours from home, which might sound far for some people, but that's a hell of a lot closer than I am now.
- The reason I'm applying for the jobs mentioned above is that I'm almost certain that I want a job that isn't specifically in this field. Unless, of course, it's one of the teaching jobs I applied for. I've just been getting more and more disenchanted with meteorology, or really, atmospheric science. I don't feel a passion for it, which means that I probably shouldn't get a job in it.
- The sad thing is that I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. I had this grand notion that after I was finished with grad school, I'd be able to get a great job in the field and really like what I was doing. I'm not saying that this couldn't happen yet. I'm just thinking that it probably won't because of the mentioned lack of passion. But, as my therapist has told me, it's not like I have to get a job using my master's degree. Having it just makes me a more interesting person. Or at least, it will to other people. I don't think I'm that interesting myself, but other people might.
- So, yeah, no job yet, but I'm applying, which is at least hopeful. If nothing else, come next spring or summer, depending on how long the funding lasts, I'll just move back home if I don't have a job.
- I'm still sad about my bunny. It's weird how much I miss her even though a lot of the time she annoyed the crap out of me. I've even had dreams that she's still alive. But, I'm bringing her home and am going to bury her there once the ground thaws.
- I'm surprised by the lack of Christmas cards I've received. I wasn't expecting a lot to begin with, but I've only gotten two this year so far. Well, technically one card and one family photo. I guess it isn't just me that isn't entirely in the Christmas spirit.
- I am, however, really looking forward to being at home for a while. I need a vacation again. It seems like not that long ago I was home for Thanksgiving. This time, though, I'll be home a bit longer. I'm home for about a week and a half, mainly because my sister's birthday is New Year's Eve and she's turning 21, so it should be lots of fun.
Well, I guess that's about it from me. This is probably my last post before the holidays, so again, have a wonderful celebration (I'm trying to be too P.C., aren't I?) and probably a happy new year too, since I won't be around the internet too much while I'm at home. Cheers!
- It totally does not feel anything like Christmas to me. It's too warm and there's no snow. Of course, it doesn't help that the year is going so quickly for me that I can't believe that in just under two weeks it's going to be 2007. Plus, not being a student anymore is throwing off my sense of time. I've been a student for so long that I'm used to having a well-defined break for the holidays, but now I just keep working (ahem, "working") and don't have a specified few weeks off. So, it's just weird. But don't get me wrong, I don't miss being a student whatsoever.
- Karen has gotten me addicted to weffriddles. I like them because they can be quite tough unless you think about them a certain way. I'm now on Level 47.
- I've been applying for more jobs recently. I just applied to two government jobs, one for the Department of Labor and one for the Census Bureau. Both of these are statistician jobs, which works for me, since I have a B.S. in math. Plus, they both are based in Chicago, which is ideal for me. One, it's a large city. Two, it's really close to home. That is, it's three hours from home, which might sound far for some people, but that's a hell of a lot closer than I am now.
- The reason I'm applying for the jobs mentioned above is that I'm almost certain that I want a job that isn't specifically in this field. Unless, of course, it's one of the teaching jobs I applied for. I've just been getting more and more disenchanted with meteorology, or really, atmospheric science. I don't feel a passion for it, which means that I probably shouldn't get a job in it.
- The sad thing is that I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. I had this grand notion that after I was finished with grad school, I'd be able to get a great job in the field and really like what I was doing. I'm not saying that this couldn't happen yet. I'm just thinking that it probably won't because of the mentioned lack of passion. But, as my therapist has told me, it's not like I have to get a job using my master's degree. Having it just makes me a more interesting person. Or at least, it will to other people. I don't think I'm that interesting myself, but other people might.
- So, yeah, no job yet, but I'm applying, which is at least hopeful. If nothing else, come next spring or summer, depending on how long the funding lasts, I'll just move back home if I don't have a job.
- I'm still sad about my bunny. It's weird how much I miss her even though a lot of the time she annoyed the crap out of me. I've even had dreams that she's still alive. But, I'm bringing her home and am going to bury her there once the ground thaws.
- I'm surprised by the lack of Christmas cards I've received. I wasn't expecting a lot to begin with, but I've only gotten two this year so far. Well, technically one card and one family photo. I guess it isn't just me that isn't entirely in the Christmas spirit.
- I am, however, really looking forward to being at home for a while. I need a vacation again. It seems like not that long ago I was home for Thanksgiving. This time, though, I'll be home a bit longer. I'm home for about a week and a half, mainly because my sister's birthday is New Year's Eve and she's turning 21, so it should be lots of fun.
Well, I guess that's about it from me. This is probably my last post before the holidays, so again, have a wonderful celebration (I'm trying to be too P.C., aren't I?) and probably a happy new year too, since I won't be around the internet too much while I'm at home. Cheers!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Short Update
Just a few quick updates to my blog:
1.) I've created a new blog dedicated to TV show commentary here. It's a work in progress, but hopefully something that other people will enjoy. I'll keep posting on it unless I don't get any readers, so anyone that reads this blog is welcome to head on over there and check it out, and if you like it tell some friends. I like having an audience.
2.) In making the blog mentioned above, I noticed some new templates available for Blogger. Thus, visitors to this blog will notice a new background. I love lighthouses, so I decided that this background is perfect for me. If you have any comments about it, preferably good (but I'll deal with bad ones as well), let me know.
That is all for now. What can I say? My title said it would be a short update.
1.) I've created a new blog dedicated to TV show commentary here. It's a work in progress, but hopefully something that other people will enjoy. I'll keep posting on it unless I don't get any readers, so anyone that reads this blog is welcome to head on over there and check it out, and if you like it tell some friends. I like having an audience.
2.) In making the blog mentioned above, I noticed some new templates available for Blogger. Thus, visitors to this blog will notice a new background. I love lighthouses, so I decided that this background is perfect for me. If you have any comments about it, preferably good (but I'll deal with bad ones as well), let me know.
That is all for now. What can I say? My title said it would be a short update.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
RIP Anya
Today while I was at work, my rabbit died. I've been worried about her for about a week now, mainly since I've gotten back from Thanksgiving at home. I'm not sure what happened, really. She was a bit off when I got home, but I attributed that to the stress of the ride home. She seemed to get better, though.On the trip back, though, she seemed to get worse. Well, not really worse, but she had been acting strangely. First she wasn't eating as much as she normally does, but again, I just thought that she needed to calm down from the stress of the trip home. But, I got more and more worried as the days went on because she was lethargic. Unfortunately, I didn't have the money to take her to a vet, so I just did whatever I could, which wasn't much since I don't know a whole lot about rabbits.
Over the last couple days she'd been acting really weird, though. A lot of the time, I found her with her two front paws in her water dish, just standing there. I didn't know what to make of that, so I just let her be, and petted her when I could. Yesterday she was very slow moving, so I held her a bit and tried to comfort her. I think on some level I knew she wasn't doing too well. Especially this morning. She really looked to be on her last legs, and I was worried that I'd come home to find her not living anymore. That turned out to be the case. She had died sometime while I was at work.
At this point, I'm wondering if there was more I could have done. I realize that there probably wasn't, or at least there wasn't anything I could have done that wouldn't have been terribly expensive. Reading that over, it sounds really bad, and I don't mean to sound incredibly cheap, but that's the way it is.
Anyway, I just really hope that she wasn't in too much pain when she died. I'll never be certain because I don't know what was wrong with her, but at least she's not in pain anymore. I'll miss you, Anya.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Ramblings from Thanksgiving
I really need to learn how to update this a bit more often. I guess I just have nothing interesting to say lately. However, I did go home for Thanksgiving, so I now have things to say, in no particular order.
- I've been sick for the past couple weeks. Well, not really sick, so much as having a hacking cough. So, once Mom heard it, she decided that I should go see a doctor. It turns out that I had bronchitis. I was put on antibiotics and some cough syrup, and I'm starting to get better. I still have a little bit of cough, but overall, I'm feeling much better.
- Thanksgiving itself was fun. We went down to my aunt and uncle's house in Kenosha and had a huge dinner, and then just chatted and played games, and overall had a good time. It's always nice to have a little downtime. Unfortunately on the way back home it was incredibly foggy. There were times where I could hardly see the side of the road from the back seat of the car. It was kind of scary. We made it home safely, luckily. It was just quite freaky.
- Mom and I actually did the Black Friday thing, except we weren't crazy enough to get up before the crack of dawn to fight the mobs. We decided to go later on that night, around 5pm. It was really nice. Most of the people in Green Bay had done all their shopping already, so we didn't have to fight crowds, and the sales staff didn't work that morning, so they were fresh and happy as opposed to bitter and cranky, so it was actually pleasant. Mom also offered to buy me things, so I have a new pair of slippers and a new sweatshirt.
- Since I was at home and sick, I decided that I would sleep in most days. (Of course, if I was healthy I would have done the same thing, because I like sleep.) Friday I slept until after noon, because my body apparently needed it. I rarely sleep that long, so I was pretty surprised. It helped my body, but I also think that it was also partially the codeine in the cough syrup I was prescribed.
- My hometown now has its first Starbucks. It even has a drive-thru. The store is conveniently located near the highway, so those people that drink coffee can grab a cup to go and head out of town. I won't be frequenting the store often because I'm not a coffee drinker, but I'm sure it will make good money anyway.
- I kept seeing commercials and signs telling people in my county to shop in the county. In most places that wouldn't be a problem, but my county doesn't have a lot to offer. Yes, there are plenty of grocery stores, and a Wal-Mart, but if you want any type of gift store or a Target or Kohl's, you have to go out of town. But the thing that really bothered me was that the sign on one of the grocery stores said "Shop Local." That is just grammatically incorrect. It should be "locally." I know grammar isn't a high priority to most people, but it bugs me when it's wrong in print. When people are speaking, I don't typically have a problem (except with the way central Pennsylvanians never use a form of "to be" when something needs to be done), but in writing it just grates my nerves. I don't know why, it just does.
Well, I guess that's about it from me for now. I keep saying that I'll update this more often, and I hope to, but to the few readers I have out there, don't count on it. But, keep checking. You never know when a new entry will be posted.
- I've been sick for the past couple weeks. Well, not really sick, so much as having a hacking cough. So, once Mom heard it, she decided that I should go see a doctor. It turns out that I had bronchitis. I was put on antibiotics and some cough syrup, and I'm starting to get better. I still have a little bit of cough, but overall, I'm feeling much better.
- Thanksgiving itself was fun. We went down to my aunt and uncle's house in Kenosha and had a huge dinner, and then just chatted and played games, and overall had a good time. It's always nice to have a little downtime. Unfortunately on the way back home it was incredibly foggy. There were times where I could hardly see the side of the road from the back seat of the car. It was kind of scary. We made it home safely, luckily. It was just quite freaky.
- Mom and I actually did the Black Friday thing, except we weren't crazy enough to get up before the crack of dawn to fight the mobs. We decided to go later on that night, around 5pm. It was really nice. Most of the people in Green Bay had done all their shopping already, so we didn't have to fight crowds, and the sales staff didn't work that morning, so they were fresh and happy as opposed to bitter and cranky, so it was actually pleasant. Mom also offered to buy me things, so I have a new pair of slippers and a new sweatshirt.
- Since I was at home and sick, I decided that I would sleep in most days. (Of course, if I was healthy I would have done the same thing, because I like sleep.) Friday I slept until after noon, because my body apparently needed it. I rarely sleep that long, so I was pretty surprised. It helped my body, but I also think that it was also partially the codeine in the cough syrup I was prescribed.
- My hometown now has its first Starbucks. It even has a drive-thru. The store is conveniently located near the highway, so those people that drink coffee can grab a cup to go and head out of town. I won't be frequenting the store often because I'm not a coffee drinker, but I'm sure it will make good money anyway.
- I kept seeing commercials and signs telling people in my county to shop in the county. In most places that wouldn't be a problem, but my county doesn't have a lot to offer. Yes, there are plenty of grocery stores, and a Wal-Mart, but if you want any type of gift store or a Target or Kohl's, you have to go out of town. But the thing that really bothered me was that the sign on one of the grocery stores said "Shop Local." That is just grammatically incorrect. It should be "locally." I know grammar isn't a high priority to most people, but it bugs me when it's wrong in print. When people are speaking, I don't typically have a problem (except with the way central Pennsylvanians never use a form of "to be" when something needs to be done), but in writing it just grates my nerves. I don't know why, it just does.
Well, I guess that's about it from me for now. I keep saying that I'll update this more often, and I hope to, but to the few readers I have out there, don't count on it. But, keep checking. You never know when a new entry will be posted.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Professional Identity Crisis
In therapy today I talked a lot about how I really don't know what I want to do with my life at the moment. I had always thought that when you go to grad school, you start to develop some sort of professional identity and will find a job in that field afterwards. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't want to stick in this field when I finished grad school.
Well, that's not entirely true. It's not that I don't want to stay in this field particularly. It's just that I'm tending to be fairly choosy about what projects I'd like to work on. I'm still stuck on the question of how/why anoxia develops on the ocean floor in some areas, which was going to be the heart of my dissertation, had I still been able to go on for my PhD. (Yes, I'm still slightly bitter about this.) So, I'd really like to find a job that involves studying this problem. Granted, it's not a widely studied problem yet, even though I think it should be. I am slightly biased, though, so you may want to take my opinion with a grain of salt.
Of course, this whole identity crisis I'm having also sort of stems from the fact that I finally heard from Rutgers, and I didn't have the job. They were nice enough to say that I was ranked highly in the applicant pool, but they ultimately decided to go with someone with more experience doing the types of things the job required. I kind of figured that I wouldn't get the job, because of my lack of experience, but it's still disappointing.
That makes me go back to the time when I was looking for a part-time job when I was in high school. I had applied all over the place (grocery stores, department stores, restaurants) and most of those places wanted people with experience in whatever job I had applied for. I never really understood that. How is one supposed to get experience in a certain job if no place of business hires someone with no experience? I just can't get a good grasp of that. Eventually I did get a job as a busperson at Perkins, which was not ideal, but it helped me pay for my trip to France my senior year, so I can't complain too much.
Anyway, now I'm back to searching for jobs, not really knowing what kind of job I want to do. I have found a few teaching jobs in the midwest (Madison, WI and Springfield, IL) that I'm applying for. I think those would be the most ideal, because I actually like teaching, and they're much closer to home. I'm hoping those will pan out well for me, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.
I've also been thinking of just moving home for a while and getting a crap job in retail or something while I figure out what I want to do with my life. It would be nice to have a roof over my head that I wouldn't have to directly pay for. Sure, I'd help out with groceries and such, but it would be nice to live somewhere rent free for a while.
I'm also playing around with the idea of not doing anything related to meteorology or oceanography. The main idea floating through my head at the moment is being a writer. Not in the novel sense, but more like writing reviews of TV shows and the like. I mean, I watch entirely too much TV, and I have lots of thoughts about the various shows I watch (especially Lost), so I think I'd be pretty good at it. Granted, I don't have a journalism degree, but who says you need one of those to be a writer? Again, it's just an idea right now. In fact, I'm seriously considering launching a second blog and try my hand at writing about the TV shows I watch. If I do that, I'll post another entry on here linking to that blog.
Anyway, my main point in this entry is that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I feel like I'm in this quarter-life crisis I've heard about. At this point, I just want a full-time job that pays relatively well so I can not have to live paycheck to paycheck.
In other news, I finally converted my driver license to Pennsylvania. I was actually surprised at how efficient the DMV is here. It took me less than an hour to go through the line, fill out the paperwork and get the license printed. It probably helped that I went relatively early in the day, but still, I was impressed.
And to end this post, I got a Halloween card from my mom earlier this week that I keep chuckling about. On the front there are three ghosts, and they're all yelling "OOB!" Underneath, the text says, "Dyslexic ghosts," and inside it says, "Halloween Happy." I got a kick out of it, because it's from my mom, and sometimes she talks somewhat dyslexicly (if that's a word). In writing this, I realize it's probably not funny to anyone else, but I don't care. It's funny to me, and that's all that matters.
Well, that's not entirely true. It's not that I don't want to stay in this field particularly. It's just that I'm tending to be fairly choosy about what projects I'd like to work on. I'm still stuck on the question of how/why anoxia develops on the ocean floor in some areas, which was going to be the heart of my dissertation, had I still been able to go on for my PhD. (Yes, I'm still slightly bitter about this.) So, I'd really like to find a job that involves studying this problem. Granted, it's not a widely studied problem yet, even though I think it should be. I am slightly biased, though, so you may want to take my opinion with a grain of salt.
Of course, this whole identity crisis I'm having also sort of stems from the fact that I finally heard from Rutgers, and I didn't have the job. They were nice enough to say that I was ranked highly in the applicant pool, but they ultimately decided to go with someone with more experience doing the types of things the job required. I kind of figured that I wouldn't get the job, because of my lack of experience, but it's still disappointing.
That makes me go back to the time when I was looking for a part-time job when I was in high school. I had applied all over the place (grocery stores, department stores, restaurants) and most of those places wanted people with experience in whatever job I had applied for. I never really understood that. How is one supposed to get experience in a certain job if no place of business hires someone with no experience? I just can't get a good grasp of that. Eventually I did get a job as a busperson at Perkins, which was not ideal, but it helped me pay for my trip to France my senior year, so I can't complain too much.
Anyway, now I'm back to searching for jobs, not really knowing what kind of job I want to do. I have found a few teaching jobs in the midwest (Madison, WI and Springfield, IL) that I'm applying for. I think those would be the most ideal, because I actually like teaching, and they're much closer to home. I'm hoping those will pan out well for me, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.
I've also been thinking of just moving home for a while and getting a crap job in retail or something while I figure out what I want to do with my life. It would be nice to have a roof over my head that I wouldn't have to directly pay for. Sure, I'd help out with groceries and such, but it would be nice to live somewhere rent free for a while.
I'm also playing around with the idea of not doing anything related to meteorology or oceanography. The main idea floating through my head at the moment is being a writer. Not in the novel sense, but more like writing reviews of TV shows and the like. I mean, I watch entirely too much TV, and I have lots of thoughts about the various shows I watch (especially Lost), so I think I'd be pretty good at it. Granted, I don't have a journalism degree, but who says you need one of those to be a writer? Again, it's just an idea right now. In fact, I'm seriously considering launching a second blog and try my hand at writing about the TV shows I watch. If I do that, I'll post another entry on here linking to that blog.
Anyway, my main point in this entry is that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I feel like I'm in this quarter-life crisis I've heard about. At this point, I just want a full-time job that pays relatively well so I can not have to live paycheck to paycheck.
In other news, I finally converted my driver license to Pennsylvania. I was actually surprised at how efficient the DMV is here. It took me less than an hour to go through the line, fill out the paperwork and get the license printed. It probably helped that I went relatively early in the day, but still, I was impressed.
And to end this post, I got a Halloween card from my mom earlier this week that I keep chuckling about. On the front there are three ghosts, and they're all yelling "OOB!" Underneath, the text says, "Dyslexic ghosts," and inside it says, "Halloween Happy." I got a kick out of it, because it's from my mom, and sometimes she talks somewhat dyslexicly (if that's a word). In writing this, I realize it's probably not funny to anyone else, but I don't care. It's funny to me, and that's all that matters.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
A Card Hallmark Doesn't Make
Tomorrow is my grandparents' anniversary, and I've spent the better part of this month trying to find a card for them. Granted, it's difficult anyway because my grandma isn't the world's easiest person to shop for, even when just looking for a card. Anyway, I've spent several hours of time in various Hallmarks trying to find anniversary cards specifically for grandparents. You wouldn't think that would be difficult, would you? Well, apparently it's become passe to actually send grandparents an anniversary card. In most Hallmarks I was lucky if I could find one card for grandparents, and usually that was in the section labeled "Cards for Unique Needs." So, it's unique to want to send your grandparents an anniversary card?! What, do they just assume that grandparents don't stay together? I know the divorce rate is 50%, but this is slightly ridiculous.
I ended up just getting a non-special (or non-unique) anniversary card for them, because I didn't have much choice in the matter. I just find it odd that something that special, like my grandparents' anniversary, doesn't have a variety of cards devoted to it while other so-called holidays (Sweetest Day, Bosses Day, etc.) have entire racks of cards for them. Am I the only one bothered by this? Probably, but I needed to vent a bit...
In other news, no word yet on the Rutgers job. I'm not sure how to feel about that. They said I should know by last week. I'm guessing that I may still be in the running only because they didn't say that I didn't have the job right away. But, I'm also guessing that I'm not their first choice, and they're waiting for whoever was their first choice to make a decision. So, we'll see. Hopefully I'll find out soon. In either case, though, I may as well start putting in my application elsewhere. Of course, once I start doing that, I'll end up hearing from them, because that's just the way it works for me.
I definitely need to get a job soon. I just got my first bill to start repaying my student loans, and that's an extra bill I wasn't planning on getting quite yet. So, we'll see what happens. It's definitely a good thing I have some money put away in savings, though. I'd be totally screwed without that cushion.
Other than that, not much else is new. Tonight is big TV night. Ugly Betty and two repeats of Grey's Anatomy, which I'll watch anyway because that show is freakin' awesome. I could watch it over and over again and not get tired of it. OK, that may be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. So, I'm off to go hunker down in front of the TV.
I ended up just getting a non-special (or non-unique) anniversary card for them, because I didn't have much choice in the matter. I just find it odd that something that special, like my grandparents' anniversary, doesn't have a variety of cards devoted to it while other so-called holidays (Sweetest Day, Bosses Day, etc.) have entire racks of cards for them. Am I the only one bothered by this? Probably, but I needed to vent a bit...
In other news, no word yet on the Rutgers job. I'm not sure how to feel about that. They said I should know by last week. I'm guessing that I may still be in the running only because they didn't say that I didn't have the job right away. But, I'm also guessing that I'm not their first choice, and they're waiting for whoever was their first choice to make a decision. So, we'll see. Hopefully I'll find out soon. In either case, though, I may as well start putting in my application elsewhere. Of course, once I start doing that, I'll end up hearing from them, because that's just the way it works for me.
I definitely need to get a job soon. I just got my first bill to start repaying my student loans, and that's an extra bill I wasn't planning on getting quite yet. So, we'll see what happens. It's definitely a good thing I have some money put away in savings, though. I'd be totally screwed without that cushion.
Other than that, not much else is new. Tonight is big TV night. Ugly Betty and two repeats of Grey's Anatomy, which I'll watch anyway because that show is freakin' awesome. I could watch it over and over again and not get tired of it. OK, that may be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. So, I'm off to go hunker down in front of the TV.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Randomness from NJ and the rest of last week
I'm just really crappy at updating this thing lately, mainly because I don't have a very interesting life at the moment. However, since it has been a month since my last post, I feel that I should make some sort of entry, and this one is going to be just random thoughts, mainly from my trip to New Jersey.
- For those that don't know, I had an interview for a programming job at Rutgers last week. It was my first interview in a long time, and I think it went fairly well. I mean, it's probably not the best interview I had, but I don't feel completely ashamed by it. I'm really hoping to get the job, though. I'll find out sometime this week, hopefully.
- The drive to New Brunswick was fun. (Note the sarcasm.) I've been on Highway 22 pretty much throughout the state of PA, and I can say with certainty that for the most part, it sucks. The only good parts of 22 are when it's merged with an interstate. Then it isn't so bad. Construction was just horrible last Monday, though. I was at a standstill numerous times. Once right outside of State College when the road was down to just one lane for traffic in both directions, another time at a merge point in eastern PA. It's just really annoying dealing with construction. I didn't think there would be any work done last Monday because it was a holiday. But, hey, what do I know?
- Also on my way there, I was behind a vehicle that was smoking. Smoke was coming from somewhere near the front of the camper. It was trying to be nice to let me pass it by moving as far right as it could, but every time I would try to pass it (where it was legal.... PA doesn't seem to have very many large stretches of straight road), it would start to move back into the lane. I was so happy when I got to a part of the road that had two lanes for each direction of traffic.
- As is customary when I drive to a new place, I got lost in New Brunswick. I started off going in the correct direction once I got off the highway, but because the directions I got weren't clear about how long it would take to get to my next turn-off, I turned around. Then I had to turn around again, and finally I found the highway I was supposed to get on. Then when I got off that highway, I came to one of the smallest roundabouts I've ever seen, and I missed the point I was supposed to veer off of it toward the hotel, so I ended up taking a slight detour. Eventually, I made it to the hotel, and I was thrilled to be able to get out of the car.
- I hate that you can't pump your own gas in New Jersey.
- The night before my interview, I walked on campus a bit to get food. (I certainly didn't want to get back into my car again.) I must say that the campus center food I got there wasn't half bad. And I got a lot of food for a relatively cheap price. Especially French fries. I got so many I couldn't eat them all.
- The selection of TV channels in the hotel I stayed aren't wasn't great, but I did get to see Fashion House on what used to be UPN. It's basically an American telenovela, the equivalent of a nighttime soap. It was so wonderfully campy, I enjoyed it tremendously. There were catfights and high drama. And I must say that Morgan Fairchild plays an excellent bitch. Of course I knew that from her days on The City, but she's great on this show, too.
- I will admit that I thought I looked very nice for my interview. I got quite a bit of help deciding on what to wear from some friends in the meteo department. The only bad part about the outfit I wore was that it was mostly black, and it just happened to be in the mid-70s that day. However, I did look very nice, I think. That's saying something, too, because I rarely think I look good. Most of the time I have very low self-esteem, but dressing up seems to give me some confidence.
- Rutgers has a very beautiful campus. I think it's one of the prettiest campuses I've ever been on. Plus, the building I interviewed in was nice-looking. I don't think I've ever worked in a nice-looking building on a campus before. Usually I'm in the hideous eyesores.
- I was surprised to see one of the guys that was at the last team meeting I went to in an office right across the hall from the guy I interviewed with. It was a pleasant surprise. He's a very nice guy, and not bad to look at either. I even stopped back after walking around campus a bit to chat and say hi. Just another reason I wouldn't mind having a job there. (Yes, I have a shallow side, too....)
- Once I got back from Jersey, I had my work cut out for me because there was another team meeting this week. I didn't get to go, because Ray said it wouldn't be a good use of my time, which at the time, I agreed with. I'm only working part time anyway. However, this week I've been VERY unproductive. I think I may have burned myself out a little bit last week. I think both yesterday and today combined, I've worked about a half-hour. I'm slightly ashamed by that, but yet not really. I'm back to feeling like I'm just frittering my time away until I get a real job. Maybe I'll get back to having some motivation this week, but I'm not counting on it.
I guess that's about it for now. Hopefully my next entry won't be too far in the future. I'm also hoping I'll have good news to report. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high for this job, but I can't help but feel a little excited by it. Only time will tell, I guess....
- For those that don't know, I had an interview for a programming job at Rutgers last week. It was my first interview in a long time, and I think it went fairly well. I mean, it's probably not the best interview I had, but I don't feel completely ashamed by it. I'm really hoping to get the job, though. I'll find out sometime this week, hopefully.
- The drive to New Brunswick was fun. (Note the sarcasm.) I've been on Highway 22 pretty much throughout the state of PA, and I can say with certainty that for the most part, it sucks. The only good parts of 22 are when it's merged with an interstate. Then it isn't so bad. Construction was just horrible last Monday, though. I was at a standstill numerous times. Once right outside of State College when the road was down to just one lane for traffic in both directions, another time at a merge point in eastern PA. It's just really annoying dealing with construction. I didn't think there would be any work done last Monday because it was a holiday. But, hey, what do I know?
- Also on my way there, I was behind a vehicle that was smoking. Smoke was coming from somewhere near the front of the camper. It was trying to be nice to let me pass it by moving as far right as it could, but every time I would try to pass it (where it was legal.... PA doesn't seem to have very many large stretches of straight road), it would start to move back into the lane. I was so happy when I got to a part of the road that had two lanes for each direction of traffic.
- As is customary when I drive to a new place, I got lost in New Brunswick. I started off going in the correct direction once I got off the highway, but because the directions I got weren't clear about how long it would take to get to my next turn-off, I turned around. Then I had to turn around again, and finally I found the highway I was supposed to get on. Then when I got off that highway, I came to one of the smallest roundabouts I've ever seen, and I missed the point I was supposed to veer off of it toward the hotel, so I ended up taking a slight detour. Eventually, I made it to the hotel, and I was thrilled to be able to get out of the car.
- I hate that you can't pump your own gas in New Jersey.
- The night before my interview, I walked on campus a bit to get food. (I certainly didn't want to get back into my car again.) I must say that the campus center food I got there wasn't half bad. And I got a lot of food for a relatively cheap price. Especially French fries. I got so many I couldn't eat them all.
- The selection of TV channels in the hotel I stayed aren't wasn't great, but I did get to see Fashion House on what used to be UPN. It's basically an American telenovela, the equivalent of a nighttime soap. It was so wonderfully campy, I enjoyed it tremendously. There were catfights and high drama. And I must say that Morgan Fairchild plays an excellent bitch. Of course I knew that from her days on The City, but she's great on this show, too.
- I will admit that I thought I looked very nice for my interview. I got quite a bit of help deciding on what to wear from some friends in the meteo department. The only bad part about the outfit I wore was that it was mostly black, and it just happened to be in the mid-70s that day. However, I did look very nice, I think. That's saying something, too, because I rarely think I look good. Most of the time I have very low self-esteem, but dressing up seems to give me some confidence.
- Rutgers has a very beautiful campus. I think it's one of the prettiest campuses I've ever been on. Plus, the building I interviewed in was nice-looking. I don't think I've ever worked in a nice-looking building on a campus before. Usually I'm in the hideous eyesores.
- I was surprised to see one of the guys that was at the last team meeting I went to in an office right across the hall from the guy I interviewed with. It was a pleasant surprise. He's a very nice guy, and not bad to look at either. I even stopped back after walking around campus a bit to chat and say hi. Just another reason I wouldn't mind having a job there. (Yes, I have a shallow side, too....)
- Once I got back from Jersey, I had my work cut out for me because there was another team meeting this week. I didn't get to go, because Ray said it wouldn't be a good use of my time, which at the time, I agreed with. I'm only working part time anyway. However, this week I've been VERY unproductive. I think I may have burned myself out a little bit last week. I think both yesterday and today combined, I've worked about a half-hour. I'm slightly ashamed by that, but yet not really. I'm back to feeling like I'm just frittering my time away until I get a real job. Maybe I'll get back to having some motivation this week, but I'm not counting on it.
I guess that's about it for now. Hopefully my next entry won't be too far in the future. I'm also hoping I'll have good news to report. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high for this job, but I can't help but feel a little excited by it. Only time will tell, I guess....
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Morbid Curiosity
I've been thinking a bit about death lately. This time it's not because I've been depressed, though. About a week and a half ago I called Mom and she told me that her cousin's daughter had been killed in a car accident. Apparently she was driving to work from Manitowoc to Green Bay and for some reason her car crossed the median on I-43 and collided with a semi. Her car and the semi burst into flames, but the semi driver got out fine. She was not so lucky.
Since then, I've had this rather morbid desire to find out any and all information I can about what exactly happened. An autopsy was done and that showed no medical reason for the accident to have happened. I'm still a little surprised that they could actually do an autopsy on a burnt body, but I know next to nothing about forensics. The thing is that there doesn't seem to be any reason for it to have happened. The weather was fine and she was going to work, so alcohol shouldn't be a factor. It's just all very confusing.
I think part of why this is hitting me so hard is that she was only 20 years old. Plus, she's distantly related to me, and she went to school with my sister, who is also only 20. It's just so tragic that this happened. It causes me to worry just a little bit more about my sister, and basically everyone that I care about that drives on a regular basis.
I really wish there were some answers as to why this happened. And, of course, now that more than a week has passed, all the news stations back home aren't even covering the story anymore, so I don't think that there will be any answers coming anytime soon.
There has been some speculation, from what I've heard from Mom. Some people think it was a suicide, which I can't believe. I don't really know her all that well, but Mom says that she seemed very full of life and had no reason to want to kill herself. Mom even told me that there supposedly is a website that is basically saying horrible things, speculating on reasons that this could have been a suicide. I've always made it clear that I will never understand people, but this just makes me sick. Why would people do that? Why badmouth the dead when there are so many live people out there that can actually defend themselves against stuff like this? I just don't get it.
Another thing that I've been thinking about is how horrible it would be to die that way. I kind of hope that she died before the fire broke out, only because I wouldn't want her to suffer. Mom told me about an accident that happened a year or two ago back home where people were joyriding and weaving in and out of construction barrels. I don't know exactly how the accident happened, but she said that something happened to the car (which isn't a huge surprise seeing as the people were drunk) and it burst into flames. Apparently the people couldn't get out of the car, and Mom told me that people said they could hear the screaming from the people in the car a good distance away. It's simply unimaginable how horrible that must have been. That's why I hope, in this case, she was dead before the fire started.
Anyway, that's just been on my mind a lot recently, and I figured that writing about it might help. I still wish there were some way to find answers about this, but I'm guessing there isn't. It's just very sad, and it's probably not something that I'm going to forget about anytime soon.
Since then, I've had this rather morbid desire to find out any and all information I can about what exactly happened. An autopsy was done and that showed no medical reason for the accident to have happened. I'm still a little surprised that they could actually do an autopsy on a burnt body, but I know next to nothing about forensics. The thing is that there doesn't seem to be any reason for it to have happened. The weather was fine and she was going to work, so alcohol shouldn't be a factor. It's just all very confusing.
I think part of why this is hitting me so hard is that she was only 20 years old. Plus, she's distantly related to me, and she went to school with my sister, who is also only 20. It's just so tragic that this happened. It causes me to worry just a little bit more about my sister, and basically everyone that I care about that drives on a regular basis.
I really wish there were some answers as to why this happened. And, of course, now that more than a week has passed, all the news stations back home aren't even covering the story anymore, so I don't think that there will be any answers coming anytime soon.
There has been some speculation, from what I've heard from Mom. Some people think it was a suicide, which I can't believe. I don't really know her all that well, but Mom says that she seemed very full of life and had no reason to want to kill herself. Mom even told me that there supposedly is a website that is basically saying horrible things, speculating on reasons that this could have been a suicide. I've always made it clear that I will never understand people, but this just makes me sick. Why would people do that? Why badmouth the dead when there are so many live people out there that can actually defend themselves against stuff like this? I just don't get it.
Another thing that I've been thinking about is how horrible it would be to die that way. I kind of hope that she died before the fire broke out, only because I wouldn't want her to suffer. Mom told me about an accident that happened a year or two ago back home where people were joyriding and weaving in and out of construction barrels. I don't know exactly how the accident happened, but she said that something happened to the car (which isn't a huge surprise seeing as the people were drunk) and it burst into flames. Apparently the people couldn't get out of the car, and Mom told me that people said they could hear the screaming from the people in the car a good distance away. It's simply unimaginable how horrible that must have been. That's why I hope, in this case, she was dead before the fire started.
Anyway, that's just been on my mind a lot recently, and I figured that writing about it might help. I still wish there were some way to find answers about this, but I'm guessing there isn't. It's just very sad, and it's probably not something that I'm going to forget about anytime soon.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Good Day
I've actually been in a good mood for most of the day today, which is a really nice change from the way I've been feeling for the past couple months or so. It's been a rather spontaneous change, and actually kind of surprising since I haven't been sleeping all that well this week. So, since my mind has been in a good place recently, I have lots of random thoughts, and will put them in list form for this post.
- It's that time of year when the undergrads are coming back to town and clogging up traffic anywhere near the university. Most of the time I'd find it incredibly annoying, but this year it's not so bad. I think it's because I'm finally not a student, so I don't have to take classes, and thus I can kind of gloat about it to those people who do have to take classes. Plus, having all the undergrads back presents a lot more eye candy in town. Even though today wasn't a particularly good day for it, being cloudy and all, it was still fun to look around.
- Now this may just be me, and I'm not all that fashion conscious, but what is the point of wearing pants if you're going to let them hang halfway down your ass? I just don't get it, especially if one is wearing a belt too. A belt is supposed to hold your pants up. Am I the only one that is bugged by this? I also don't get buying jeans that have holes fashionably put in them. I wouldn't spend large amounts of money on pants like that when I could buy a crappy pair of jeans and tear holes in them myself. But that's just me....
- I've discovered that I really like taking the bus to campus. First it saves me gas money, which is always a good thing. Plus, it's nice to be able to go to and from campus at a somewhat regular schedule. Sure, it takes about a half hour to take the bus from Toftrees to campus, but it's nice not having to drive myself. Plus, I get a little time to read during the day (finished HP6 again yesterday) which is kind of relaxing, although sometimes I get a little nauseous feeling because the bus drivers don't know that they should slow down a bit for sharp turns. But overall, it's a good thing. What was especially nice was that the bus this morning was one of the fancier buses with nice fabric and very cushy seats. I wouldn't mind having that one come by everyday. The only bad thing about taking the bus is that a bus stop isn't exactly convenient from where I live. But it does give me a little exercise during the day, so I can't complain too much.
- I'm seriously considering buying a Bowflex, only because I want to get into better shape. Yes, I could go to one of the various gyms on campus, but they now cost money to get into. Sure, that would probably still be cheaper than getting an actual piece of equipment, but it's much less convenient. Plus, most of the gyms I'd have to wait in line for quite some time before I could even get in, and I just don't have the patience for that. I'm still uncertain if getting equipment is the right thing to do. If anyone has any strong feelings about this, specifically about the Bowflex products, and wants to enlighten me, I'm more than willing to hear comments.
- I've been very tense lately, and I think it's mainly because I'm accepting that I'm no longer a student and have to start looking for a job. The idea of job hunting does not really appeal to me at all. I'd much rather just have a job fall in my lap, but I'm not lucky like some people (coughKarencough). I can really tell that I'm tense though, because I feel like I'm squeezing in on myself. I've even been clenching my jaw a bit more than normal. But, hopefully once I really start the process of looking for a job, it'll get better. If not, I may just have to go get a massage again.
Well, I guess that's about it for now. At least that's all I can think of at the moment, but my mind's been all over the place lately, so there's probably more there, but it's not coming to me right now. It probably doesn't help that my sleep pattern has been quite irregular lately, so my brain is in a fog, but I think this is a long enough entry. So, with that I'll end and pick up again at some other time....
- It's that time of year when the undergrads are coming back to town and clogging up traffic anywhere near the university. Most of the time I'd find it incredibly annoying, but this year it's not so bad. I think it's because I'm finally not a student, so I don't have to take classes, and thus I can kind of gloat about it to those people who do have to take classes. Plus, having all the undergrads back presents a lot more eye candy in town. Even though today wasn't a particularly good day for it, being cloudy and all, it was still fun to look around.
- Now this may just be me, and I'm not all that fashion conscious, but what is the point of wearing pants if you're going to let them hang halfway down your ass? I just don't get it, especially if one is wearing a belt too. A belt is supposed to hold your pants up. Am I the only one that is bugged by this? I also don't get buying jeans that have holes fashionably put in them. I wouldn't spend large amounts of money on pants like that when I could buy a crappy pair of jeans and tear holes in them myself. But that's just me....
- I've discovered that I really like taking the bus to campus. First it saves me gas money, which is always a good thing. Plus, it's nice to be able to go to and from campus at a somewhat regular schedule. Sure, it takes about a half hour to take the bus from Toftrees to campus, but it's nice not having to drive myself. Plus, I get a little time to read during the day (finished HP6 again yesterday) which is kind of relaxing, although sometimes I get a little nauseous feeling because the bus drivers don't know that they should slow down a bit for sharp turns. But overall, it's a good thing. What was especially nice was that the bus this morning was one of the fancier buses with nice fabric and very cushy seats. I wouldn't mind having that one come by everyday. The only bad thing about taking the bus is that a bus stop isn't exactly convenient from where I live. But it does give me a little exercise during the day, so I can't complain too much.
- I'm seriously considering buying a Bowflex, only because I want to get into better shape. Yes, I could go to one of the various gyms on campus, but they now cost money to get into. Sure, that would probably still be cheaper than getting an actual piece of equipment, but it's much less convenient. Plus, most of the gyms I'd have to wait in line for quite some time before I could even get in, and I just don't have the patience for that. I'm still uncertain if getting equipment is the right thing to do. If anyone has any strong feelings about this, specifically about the Bowflex products, and wants to enlighten me, I'm more than willing to hear comments.
- I've been very tense lately, and I think it's mainly because I'm accepting that I'm no longer a student and have to start looking for a job. The idea of job hunting does not really appeal to me at all. I'd much rather just have a job fall in my lap, but I'm not lucky like some people (coughKarencough). I can really tell that I'm tense though, because I feel like I'm squeezing in on myself. I've even been clenching my jaw a bit more than normal. But, hopefully once I really start the process of looking for a job, it'll get better. If not, I may just have to go get a massage again.
Well, I guess that's about it for now. At least that's all I can think of at the moment, but my mind's been all over the place lately, so there's probably more there, but it's not coming to me right now. It probably doesn't help that my sleep pattern has been quite irregular lately, so my brain is in a fog, but I think this is a long enough entry. So, with that I'll end and pick up again at some other time....
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Escapes
I've been meaning to do a semi-philosophical post for some time now, but never had the energy or time. Well, that's not entirely true. I had time last night, but the site was down so I couldn't do a damn thing. But, today I have time, mainly because I'm waiting for data to process yet again.
So, lately I've been having a rough time coming to work and actually doing work. Who can blame me, though? I've been feeling sucker-punched by the whole candidacy thing basically since I've found out that I didn't pass. It's really hard to want to do productive work when you're feeling like you're useless to the department, which is how I've been feeling lately. I realize that the department doesn't really feel that way, otherwise they wouldn't be keeping me on for an extra six months to help pad my way to finding a job. But, still, it's hard to feel like I'm a worthwhile member of the department.
Last week was a particularly rough week. I truly wanted to be anywhere but State College for most of last week. I just felt like giving up on the whole Penn State thing. I'm completely serious about wanting to be anywhere else, too. It wouldn't have mattered if it were in a different city in PA, a different state, a different country, hell, even the moon. And I guess it isn't too surprising that I'd be in that state of mind finally. It took a while for me to get over the shock and then the denial of everything. Last week I just couldn't take it anymore.
Because of all this, I've been doing a lot of escaping lately. Mainly figuratively, of course. I watch my soaps everyday, which I did before, but lately it's been especially nice to escape into other people's lives and see them have bigger problems than I have.
Besides that I've been doing other things just to keep my mind occupied. The last few weekends when I haven't been visiting with friends I've been playing my Super Nintendo. (I'm really, really old school when it comes to video games.) That's a nice escape, too, because it brings me back to when I was younger and didn't have so much on my plate. I've discovered that it doesn't seem to take as long to beat some of the games as I used to think it did. I beat Super Mario 3 in four hours and Super Mario World in six hours (approximately). Of course, I did both of these without much interruption, which doesn't usually happen. I'll be doing a bit more of this next week while I'm home. I'm bringing it home and my sister and I are going to play a bit, just to have some down time.
I also escape by going to the bookstore or the mall. I like to be around a large mass of people, but not necessarily know anyone where I am. It kind of makes me feel invisible, or at least like I don't have to hide what I'm feeling quite as much. I guess it's easier to be myself when I'm surrounded by strangers. With people I know, I typically feel like I have to pretend to be something that I'm not. What that is I'm not entirely sure, and it varies depending on the people. That's why I've been more antisocial than normal the past week or so.
This weekend, though, I became more social. I went to visit Ingrid in Uniontown, just to get away from State College for a while. It was nice, because I didn't have to make decisions about what to do for the most part, and I could let me guard down a bit. Plus, we went and did stuff, which helped to keep my mind occupied. I think that helped me make a relatively quick upswing in my mood.
Of course, knowing that I'm going on vacation in a couple days is also helping. I'm especially looking forward to this trip home. I usually like getting away, but I think I really deserve it this time. Plus, I've been pretty productive considering everything that's happened lately, so I don't feel too bad about taking a week off.
I guess this wasn't as philosophical as I thought it was going to be, or at least as what I had mapped in my head. Either way, though, I think this is a very good way to celebrate my 100th post. I can't believe that I have that many posts. Time flies when you're incredibly busy I guess.
Anyway, I guess that's all. Now I have to find something else to occupy my mind while I wait for data to process. Happy 100th post to me, and here's to 100 more!
So, lately I've been having a rough time coming to work and actually doing work. Who can blame me, though? I've been feeling sucker-punched by the whole candidacy thing basically since I've found out that I didn't pass. It's really hard to want to do productive work when you're feeling like you're useless to the department, which is how I've been feeling lately. I realize that the department doesn't really feel that way, otherwise they wouldn't be keeping me on for an extra six months to help pad my way to finding a job. But, still, it's hard to feel like I'm a worthwhile member of the department.
Last week was a particularly rough week. I truly wanted to be anywhere but State College for most of last week. I just felt like giving up on the whole Penn State thing. I'm completely serious about wanting to be anywhere else, too. It wouldn't have mattered if it were in a different city in PA, a different state, a different country, hell, even the moon. And I guess it isn't too surprising that I'd be in that state of mind finally. It took a while for me to get over the shock and then the denial of everything. Last week I just couldn't take it anymore.
Because of all this, I've been doing a lot of escaping lately. Mainly figuratively, of course. I watch my soaps everyday, which I did before, but lately it's been especially nice to escape into other people's lives and see them have bigger problems than I have.
Besides that I've been doing other things just to keep my mind occupied. The last few weekends when I haven't been visiting with friends I've been playing my Super Nintendo. (I'm really, really old school when it comes to video games.) That's a nice escape, too, because it brings me back to when I was younger and didn't have so much on my plate. I've discovered that it doesn't seem to take as long to beat some of the games as I used to think it did. I beat Super Mario 3 in four hours and Super Mario World in six hours (approximately). Of course, I did both of these without much interruption, which doesn't usually happen. I'll be doing a bit more of this next week while I'm home. I'm bringing it home and my sister and I are going to play a bit, just to have some down time.
I also escape by going to the bookstore or the mall. I like to be around a large mass of people, but not necessarily know anyone where I am. It kind of makes me feel invisible, or at least like I don't have to hide what I'm feeling quite as much. I guess it's easier to be myself when I'm surrounded by strangers. With people I know, I typically feel like I have to pretend to be something that I'm not. What that is I'm not entirely sure, and it varies depending on the people. That's why I've been more antisocial than normal the past week or so.
This weekend, though, I became more social. I went to visit Ingrid in Uniontown, just to get away from State College for a while. It was nice, because I didn't have to make decisions about what to do for the most part, and I could let me guard down a bit. Plus, we went and did stuff, which helped to keep my mind occupied. I think that helped me make a relatively quick upswing in my mood.
Of course, knowing that I'm going on vacation in a couple days is also helping. I'm especially looking forward to this trip home. I usually like getting away, but I think I really deserve it this time. Plus, I've been pretty productive considering everything that's happened lately, so I don't feel too bad about taking a week off.
I guess this wasn't as philosophical as I thought it was going to be, or at least as what I had mapped in my head. Either way, though, I think this is a very good way to celebrate my 100th post. I can't believe that I have that many posts. Time flies when you're incredibly busy I guess.
Anyway, I guess that's all. Now I have to find something else to occupy my mind while I wait for data to process. Happy 100th post to me, and here's to 100 more!
Monday, July 31, 2006
Bush on Israel/Lebanon conflict
I've been meaning to write a post for some time now, but I just haven't felt motivated to write one about anything going on in my personal life. However, since it's the end of July and and I want to have more than one post for this month, I'm writing about the latest fighting in the Middle East, mainly about what Bush has to say about it.
Here's a quote from him from CNN.com: "We want there to be a long-lasting peace, one that is sustainable." Really? My gut reaction is, of course we do. I mean, come on. Who's going to say that we want the peace to only last a short time?! But, of course, this is Bush, so we have to expect him to say what's completely obvious to the rest of us.
However, the one major thing that is bugging me about this is that Bush wants to work with people to create a plan for peace between these two countries. That's nice and all, but we're supposed to think that he can actually come up with a plan to create this peace? Has he even thought about Iraq recently? He's famous for going in, blowing things up, and then wondering why the hell that isn't working! It's sad that I have so little faith in the leader of this country. Wait.... That's implying that I do have faith in the leader of this country. We all know that's not true.
I also think that his desire for peace is just his outward persona. Deep down, we all know that he wants to take down Hezbollah himself. He wants to bring down all forms of tyranny in the world and spread democracy. That sounds great in the grand scheme of things. But the fact that Bush couldn't plan his way out of a paper bag is what gets him in trouble.
I guess I should tone it down before I go too far. Who knows who's reading this? I may be charged with something.....
Usually I'm not this cynical. Well, not this outwardly cynical anyway. I know partially it's because my mind is set at "pissed off at the world." (More on that in a future entry, possibly....) Basically, take what I've written with a grain of salt. I guess I just needed to vent about the completely contradictory messages from Bush.
Here's a quote from him from CNN.com: "We want there to be a long-lasting peace, one that is sustainable." Really? My gut reaction is, of course we do. I mean, come on. Who's going to say that we want the peace to only last a short time?! But, of course, this is Bush, so we have to expect him to say what's completely obvious to the rest of us.
However, the one major thing that is bugging me about this is that Bush wants to work with people to create a plan for peace between these two countries. That's nice and all, but we're supposed to think that he can actually come up with a plan to create this peace? Has he even thought about Iraq recently? He's famous for going in, blowing things up, and then wondering why the hell that isn't working! It's sad that I have so little faith in the leader of this country. Wait.... That's implying that I do have faith in the leader of this country. We all know that's not true.
I also think that his desire for peace is just his outward persona. Deep down, we all know that he wants to take down Hezbollah himself. He wants to bring down all forms of tyranny in the world and spread democracy. That sounds great in the grand scheme of things. But the fact that Bush couldn't plan his way out of a paper bag is what gets him in trouble.
I guess I should tone it down before I go too far. Who knows who's reading this? I may be charged with something.....
Usually I'm not this cynical. Well, not this outwardly cynical anyway. I know partially it's because my mind is set at "pissed off at the world." (More on that in a future entry, possibly....) Basically, take what I've written with a grain of salt. I guess I just needed to vent about the completely contradictory messages from Bush.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Three Strikes
It's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog, so, since I have a little time today, I'm going to post about the mian news that's going on in my life at the moment. Some of you that know about my life pretty well may be able to guess what this entry is about just by the title. Anyway, before I start going off on tangents, I'll get to the meat of this post.
I'm officially no longer a PhD student here. That's right, I wasn't able to pass the physics section of the candidacy exam, so now I have to figure out what to do with my life. I'm having a very hard time getting a grip on the fact that I'm not continuing on. This was never even a possibility when considering a game plan. I had thought that just by sticking it out and taking the stupid exam three times in a row would be enough to qualify me as a PhD student. The fact that I hadn't gone completely insane during this academic hazing is practically a miracle.
The thing that is really bugging me about the whole thing is that I thought I had the exam in the bag when I walked out of it in May. I had seen one of the questions on the undergrad thermo homework so I was feeling relatively confident that I did really well on that question. The other two questions I was less confident about, but I thought I made a good enough effort that I could at least get a conditional pass out of the faculty. Apparently, I was completely mistaken, though. It's actually quite silly of me to think that I would be able to stick around, especially since after my masters' defense, I was told that my committee didn't think I should pursue a PhD. But being part German, part Bohemian, and all scorpio makes me a very stubborn, persistent person. So, I thought, to hell with them, I'm going to do this and shove it in their faces. So much for that idea.
Here I was starting to feel like I was making my own place in the department, and starting to make real progress on my research, and then I get the rug pulled out from under me with this news. Luckily, I was planning on leaving for home immediately after I heard the news, so I had a chance to process it a little on my drive home. (The drive is incredibly boring up until Chicago, so I had lots of time where my brain was hardly working.) Then, while I was at home, I was very very good at denying that the news even happened. Well, not so much denying as it was not really facing the truth. Coming back here was difficult, and it was even harder to go into work the Monday before last. I was really thinking of various ways to kill time so I wouldn't have to be there for all that long. But, I stuck it out and chatted with Ray, and thankfully he was giving me the space I needed to really sort things out.
Another lucky thing for me is that Ray's able to keep me supported through the fall semester, so it's not like I'm being shoved out the department's door right away. I really do want to finish whatever I can with the research I'm doing, but yet a significant part of me just wants to tell the department to fuck off. I know I can't do this, or at least I shouldn't if I want to get any decent letters of recommendation from them. But it's incredibly tempting to just leave them in a lurch.
It's also pissing me off that I was making a place in the department for me and I was seriously motivated to do the research I signed on for as well as moving forward into my own project. I really did want to see if I could see what causes periods of oxygen depletion on the east coast continental shelf. I figured it would be a really interesting thing to work on, and it may even be helpful in making environmental policy. But now I can't work on it, or at least I wouldn't be funded to work on it. I was doing some really good things because I felt like I'd be around for quite some time to work on the project.
And yes, I realize that I wasn't exactly doing exceptional research, and that was something that Ray couldn't really use in my benefit, and he told me so when he came down with the news. The problem I have with that is that it's very hard for me to be really motivated to do work when I'm not even sure that I'm going to be in the department for that long. It was all based on if I would pass the candidacy exam. The only reason I was starting to be really motivated is that I figured that the department wouldn't just cut me loose after investing in me for four years. I had just assumed that I'd be sticking around, and that was enough for me to actually start trying to accomplish something.
Now that I know I'm no longer going to be doing research beyond December, my motivation has taken a rather sharp nosedive. Most days it's hard enough for me to even get to Walker much less do anything productive. I'm hoping that once I get over this melancholy (for lack of a better word) I can be productive enough to have something worth publishing.
The one thing that I may have going for me is that I have made enough contacts through various places that I'm hoping I'll be able to find a job relatively soon. I'm planning on contacting my old profs from undergrad to see if they can keep their ears open for any teaching opportunities in the midwest area, just so I can be closer to home, which will make it less of a hassle to plan when I can come home. There are also people that work at NASA and NOAA in the group dealing with the carbon cycle that I'm a part of. So, just in those two areas, I have a decent number of sources I can go to to look for jobs.
There is one thing, though, that is bringing me immediate satisfaction, and that's the fact that I'm no longer a student. To be honest, I was really getting burnt out with the whole school thing. I mean, I've been in school in some fashion since I was five. So, to not have to think about taking tests, doing homework, and just the normal stresses of being a student is kind of nice. At least in the long run it will be. Right now, I'm having a hard time looking at the bright side of things, which should surprise no one that knows me relatively well.
But, anyway, that's my life in a nutshell. I'm just trying to make it through each day and picking up the pieces of my overturned life. And now, I'm going to start getting ready to go see the fireworks. Or at least, I'll attempt to. I've had a headache almost all day, and it feels like it's going away, but we'll see what happens in the next half-hour or so. I'm just hoping it doesn't rain, and that I can find a decent spot to watch them from. It would be nice to have people to go with, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen, so just going will have to do for me.
Happy Independence Day, everyone!
I'm officially no longer a PhD student here. That's right, I wasn't able to pass the physics section of the candidacy exam, so now I have to figure out what to do with my life. I'm having a very hard time getting a grip on the fact that I'm not continuing on. This was never even a possibility when considering a game plan. I had thought that just by sticking it out and taking the stupid exam three times in a row would be enough to qualify me as a PhD student. The fact that I hadn't gone completely insane during this academic hazing is practically a miracle.
The thing that is really bugging me about the whole thing is that I thought I had the exam in the bag when I walked out of it in May. I had seen one of the questions on the undergrad thermo homework so I was feeling relatively confident that I did really well on that question. The other two questions I was less confident about, but I thought I made a good enough effort that I could at least get a conditional pass out of the faculty. Apparently, I was completely mistaken, though. It's actually quite silly of me to think that I would be able to stick around, especially since after my masters' defense, I was told that my committee didn't think I should pursue a PhD. But being part German, part Bohemian, and all scorpio makes me a very stubborn, persistent person. So, I thought, to hell with them, I'm going to do this and shove it in their faces. So much for that idea.
Here I was starting to feel like I was making my own place in the department, and starting to make real progress on my research, and then I get the rug pulled out from under me with this news. Luckily, I was planning on leaving for home immediately after I heard the news, so I had a chance to process it a little on my drive home. (The drive is incredibly boring up until Chicago, so I had lots of time where my brain was hardly working.) Then, while I was at home, I was very very good at denying that the news even happened. Well, not so much denying as it was not really facing the truth. Coming back here was difficult, and it was even harder to go into work the Monday before last. I was really thinking of various ways to kill time so I wouldn't have to be there for all that long. But, I stuck it out and chatted with Ray, and thankfully he was giving me the space I needed to really sort things out.
Another lucky thing for me is that Ray's able to keep me supported through the fall semester, so it's not like I'm being shoved out the department's door right away. I really do want to finish whatever I can with the research I'm doing, but yet a significant part of me just wants to tell the department to fuck off. I know I can't do this, or at least I shouldn't if I want to get any decent letters of recommendation from them. But it's incredibly tempting to just leave them in a lurch.
It's also pissing me off that I was making a place in the department for me and I was seriously motivated to do the research I signed on for as well as moving forward into my own project. I really did want to see if I could see what causes periods of oxygen depletion on the east coast continental shelf. I figured it would be a really interesting thing to work on, and it may even be helpful in making environmental policy. But now I can't work on it, or at least I wouldn't be funded to work on it. I was doing some really good things because I felt like I'd be around for quite some time to work on the project.
And yes, I realize that I wasn't exactly doing exceptional research, and that was something that Ray couldn't really use in my benefit, and he told me so when he came down with the news. The problem I have with that is that it's very hard for me to be really motivated to do work when I'm not even sure that I'm going to be in the department for that long. It was all based on if I would pass the candidacy exam. The only reason I was starting to be really motivated is that I figured that the department wouldn't just cut me loose after investing in me for four years. I had just assumed that I'd be sticking around, and that was enough for me to actually start trying to accomplish something.
Now that I know I'm no longer going to be doing research beyond December, my motivation has taken a rather sharp nosedive. Most days it's hard enough for me to even get to Walker much less do anything productive. I'm hoping that once I get over this melancholy (for lack of a better word) I can be productive enough to have something worth publishing.
The one thing that I may have going for me is that I have made enough contacts through various places that I'm hoping I'll be able to find a job relatively soon. I'm planning on contacting my old profs from undergrad to see if they can keep their ears open for any teaching opportunities in the midwest area, just so I can be closer to home, which will make it less of a hassle to plan when I can come home. There are also people that work at NASA and NOAA in the group dealing with the carbon cycle that I'm a part of. So, just in those two areas, I have a decent number of sources I can go to to look for jobs.
There is one thing, though, that is bringing me immediate satisfaction, and that's the fact that I'm no longer a student. To be honest, I was really getting burnt out with the whole school thing. I mean, I've been in school in some fashion since I was five. So, to not have to think about taking tests, doing homework, and just the normal stresses of being a student is kind of nice. At least in the long run it will be. Right now, I'm having a hard time looking at the bright side of things, which should surprise no one that knows me relatively well.
But, anyway, that's my life in a nutshell. I'm just trying to make it through each day and picking up the pieces of my overturned life. And now, I'm going to start getting ready to go see the fireworks. Or at least, I'll attempt to. I've had a headache almost all day, and it feels like it's going away, but we'll see what happens in the next half-hour or so. I'm just hoping it doesn't rain, and that I can find a decent spot to watch them from. It would be nice to have people to go with, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen, so just going will have to do for me.
Happy Independence Day, everyone!
Monday, June 12, 2006
Presentations
So, tomorrow I get to present something at the group meeting again. The last time I did, the prof (I mentioned him in my rants during that time) absolutely hated my presentation just because it wasn't really focused enough and pretty short. And the only reason for that is that I had to teach about a half hour after the group meeting starts. When the person actually starts to speak it's ten minutes later, so really I had 15-20 minutes to present a ton of stuff I learned at the OS meeting a few weeks before.
This time, my presentation is much more organized, much longer, and more focused. It damn well better be since I've spent a large chunk of time on it. Yesterday was 4-5 hours and today was 8 hours at the office (minus about 30-45 minutes to eat lunch), a break from 5:30-7:30 (coming home and eating), then 3.5 hours after that. I finished around 11pm. I think that's more than enough time to create a good presentation. So, if this certain prof still doesn't like it, f*%& him.
In other news, I've finally found a purpose for Google Earth beyond just playing with it. I put an image from that in my presentation to show the region I'm calculating mixed layer depth for. It was fun getting it to do what I wanted, although when it zoomed in on exact coordinates, it went pretty fast, making me feel like I was skydiving. That wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling. Anyway, I'm happy that I found a practical use for it.
I guess that's all for now. I'm exhausted and heading to bed pretty soon. I need to get enough rest so I'm not feeling like a zombie while I'm giving my presentation.
This time, my presentation is much more organized, much longer, and more focused. It damn well better be since I've spent a large chunk of time on it. Yesterday was 4-5 hours and today was 8 hours at the office (minus about 30-45 minutes to eat lunch), a break from 5:30-7:30 (coming home and eating), then 3.5 hours after that. I finished around 11pm. I think that's more than enough time to create a good presentation. So, if this certain prof still doesn't like it, f*%& him.
In other news, I've finally found a purpose for Google Earth beyond just playing with it. I put an image from that in my presentation to show the region I'm calculating mixed layer depth for. It was fun getting it to do what I wanted, although when it zoomed in on exact coordinates, it went pretty fast, making me feel like I was skydiving. That wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling. Anyway, I'm happy that I found a practical use for it.
I guess that's all for now. I'm exhausted and heading to bed pretty soon. I need to get enough rest so I'm not feeling like a zombie while I'm giving my presentation.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Hodgepodge
I have many random thoughts in my head right now, and I figure, why not put them in my blog.
First, yesterday when I was walking to therapy, I went past the Days Inn on Pugh Street and an Allegheny Power vehicle was there. That doesn't sound like much. However, the vehicle happened to be an SUV of some sort. It just seemed a little strange to me that the power company would be driving a rather nice SUV. Of couse, they do make loads of money, so they can afford a vehicle that gets less than 20 miles per gallon. I guess it just kind of irked me a little.
Another thing that's annoying me is the president's reinforced campaign to ban gay marriage in the country. First of all, is that really the most pressing issue to come to a conclusion on? I was reading Lou Dobbs commentary on CNN.com this morning, and he brings up many other more important things that should be tackled first. Some examples: the war in Iraq (more on that in a bit), immigration, poverty, and that's all I can think of at the moment. I just don't understand why it's such a big deal to let gays get married. I know I'm a bit biased in this argument, so take it with a grain of salt. The main argument for amending the Constitution is that marriage is a sacred institution and thus should only be allowed for couples that have a different gender. If marriage is so sacred, why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? Hell, most celebrities have five-minute marriages (can we say J-Lo?). I just don't see the point of saying that some couples that are devoted to each other shouldn't be allowed to get married. If you all want to see a great clip from the Daily Show where Jon Stewart skewers the Republican argument against gay marriage, google the key words "daily show" and "gay marriage." I found that debate frustrating, yet enjoyable.
Back to the war in Iraq: Apparently one of the main terrorist plotters was bombed today. I can't say that I'm sad that he died. However, even with this event, there seems to be no resolution as to how this war will end, if it ever does. (I'm still not entirely convinced that it will ever be done.) And I know that Republicans will tout this event happening even more than usual because it's a mid-term election year. Yes, it's one good thing that happened in the war. That doesn't make up for having no exit strategy at all. I just have this feeling that Republicans are going to stay in power just by riding the coattails of this killing. I sound very cynical, but I wouldn't be surprised if that happened. And I wouldn't be surprised if Bush's approval rating climbed a bit in the next few days. But, what can I do? I did my part in voting in the last presidential election (not that it did any good), so I have the right to complain about the direction this country is headed in.
A few other tidbits:
- For those of you in grad school, or those that have been in grad school at some moment, take a look at the comic in Karen's LJ (link in sidebar). It's hilarious because it's true.
- One week from tomorrow I find out whether the faculty like me enough to keep me in the program. That's basically what the candidacy exam measures. It's just a hurdle that they're forcing the grad students to jump over. Frankly, I'm sick of it. Plus, it's not like I'm going to use much of the information that I had to spit out during the exam. I think that's the most frustrating part. However, I am confident that they'll let me stick around, if for no other reason than that I'm very persistent.
- I've figured that stud is the poker game of choice for me. The last seven card stud night I won, and the one this week I was second. That's usually better than I do in Hold 'Em.
- I've also found myself thinking more like a researcher lately. I've been motivated to do work, more so than I have been in several years. That I attribute to feeling like I'm going to stick around. For the past year and a half, I've been in a limbo state, unsure of if I'd be staying in the department. I've also been thinking more about getting papers published, which seems to be the surest sign that I'm becoming a scientist. Right now, I have several things on my plate. One paper is on sea level rise projections, which I'm likely to be third author on. The second paper is dealing with my masters work, which Ray has been encouraging me to do. The third paper is still in its infancy, though. I'm calculating mixed layer depth along the east coast, and I think given the right angle, I could get a paper out of that as well.
- The last thing I'll mention is that I'm going home next weekend! It's been about three months since I've been home, and longer than that since I've taken a break from work, so I'm thrilled to be getting away.
Alrighty, I think I've exhausted all the random thoughts in my head. Hopefully this will allow me to sleep better tonight than I have in quite some time.
First, yesterday when I was walking to therapy, I went past the Days Inn on Pugh Street and an Allegheny Power vehicle was there. That doesn't sound like much. However, the vehicle happened to be an SUV of some sort. It just seemed a little strange to me that the power company would be driving a rather nice SUV. Of couse, they do make loads of money, so they can afford a vehicle that gets less than 20 miles per gallon. I guess it just kind of irked me a little.
Another thing that's annoying me is the president's reinforced campaign to ban gay marriage in the country. First of all, is that really the most pressing issue to come to a conclusion on? I was reading Lou Dobbs commentary on CNN.com this morning, and he brings up many other more important things that should be tackled first. Some examples: the war in Iraq (more on that in a bit), immigration, poverty, and that's all I can think of at the moment. I just don't understand why it's such a big deal to let gays get married. I know I'm a bit biased in this argument, so take it with a grain of salt. The main argument for amending the Constitution is that marriage is a sacred institution and thus should only be allowed for couples that have a different gender. If marriage is so sacred, why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? Hell, most celebrities have five-minute marriages (can we say J-Lo?). I just don't see the point of saying that some couples that are devoted to each other shouldn't be allowed to get married. If you all want to see a great clip from the Daily Show where Jon Stewart skewers the Republican argument against gay marriage, google the key words "daily show" and "gay marriage." I found that debate frustrating, yet enjoyable.
Back to the war in Iraq: Apparently one of the main terrorist plotters was bombed today. I can't say that I'm sad that he died. However, even with this event, there seems to be no resolution as to how this war will end, if it ever does. (I'm still not entirely convinced that it will ever be done.) And I know that Republicans will tout this event happening even more than usual because it's a mid-term election year. Yes, it's one good thing that happened in the war. That doesn't make up for having no exit strategy at all. I just have this feeling that Republicans are going to stay in power just by riding the coattails of this killing. I sound very cynical, but I wouldn't be surprised if that happened. And I wouldn't be surprised if Bush's approval rating climbed a bit in the next few days. But, what can I do? I did my part in voting in the last presidential election (not that it did any good), so I have the right to complain about the direction this country is headed in.
A few other tidbits:
- For those of you in grad school, or those that have been in grad school at some moment, take a look at the comic in Karen's LJ (link in sidebar). It's hilarious because it's true.
- One week from tomorrow I find out whether the faculty like me enough to keep me in the program. That's basically what the candidacy exam measures. It's just a hurdle that they're forcing the grad students to jump over. Frankly, I'm sick of it. Plus, it's not like I'm going to use much of the information that I had to spit out during the exam. I think that's the most frustrating part. However, I am confident that they'll let me stick around, if for no other reason than that I'm very persistent.
- I've figured that stud is the poker game of choice for me. The last seven card stud night I won, and the one this week I was second. That's usually better than I do in Hold 'Em.
- I've also found myself thinking more like a researcher lately. I've been motivated to do work, more so than I have been in several years. That I attribute to feeling like I'm going to stick around. For the past year and a half, I've been in a limbo state, unsure of if I'd be staying in the department. I've also been thinking more about getting papers published, which seems to be the surest sign that I'm becoming a scientist. Right now, I have several things on my plate. One paper is on sea level rise projections, which I'm likely to be third author on. The second paper is dealing with my masters work, which Ray has been encouraging me to do. The third paper is still in its infancy, though. I'm calculating mixed layer depth along the east coast, and I think given the right angle, I could get a paper out of that as well.
- The last thing I'll mention is that I'm going home next weekend! It's been about three months since I've been home, and longer than that since I've taken a break from work, so I'm thrilled to be getting away.
Alrighty, I think I've exhausted all the random thoughts in my head. Hopefully this will allow me to sleep better tonight than I have in quite some time.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Controversy
I just got done watching Larry King Live tonight. His guests were the Dixie Chicks. I had to watch because I love their music. Now, I'm not much of a country music person, but their stuff I like.
Anyway, the focus of the interview was on the "incident" in 2003 when Natalie said that they were ashamed that Bush is from Texas. I still don't really understand why so many people got their knickers in a twist about that comment. Heck, I liked them even more after that was said. Of course, I'm typically anti-Bush about most everything, so I may be just a little bit biased.
This comment got way too blown out of proportion in my opinion. What happened to freedom of speech? I know that there are a lot of die-hard Republicans out there. The last presidential election confirmed that for me. But to take one tiny comment and blow it into saying the Dixie Chicks are unpatriotic and are on Saddam's side is ridiculous. Natalie even had a death threat made against her. I mean, I know there are closed-minded people out there (again, see the 2004 election), but to think out any sort of attack on someone, well, is exactly what is going on in Iraq, on both sides. The insurgents continue to plan attacks against Americans, and America is continuing to plan out attacks against the insurgents.
So, I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised by the outcry of this one little comment. That sounds a lot more cynical than I had intended this post to be. I guess I've lived enough in my 26 years on the planet to basically have no faith in the human population in general, especially considering all the psychotic things happening all over the place. I don't just mean the war in Iraq, but everywhere in general. It always seems like there's some crazy person that does completely horrid things to other people. I have one such story, but that will be saved for a different post.
Getting back to my main point, the whole backlash against the Dixie Chicks in incredibly uncalled for. I don't mind that people disagree with what they said. I think disagreement is essential in democracy (even in the state it's in in America at the moment). I just think that sending death threats and having what basically amounts to a party crushing the CDs they've made. I remember seeing that on the news when it first happened and being appalled, because they were bringing bulldozers to crush the CDs. That's just pathetic. I would have more respect for people if they said they didn't agree with what the Dixie Chicks said and that's why they wouldn't buy their music. That's completely fine. But the fact that they crushed CDs just out of spite is totally useless in the long run. I simply cannot understand the motive for these types of things. Well, besides the fact that most people are followers, so if they see one idiot doing something and they have any agreement whatsoever with that idiot, they'll join in. Again, I sound incredibly jaded, which is just sad because I'm only 26. I'm supposed to still be able to see the good in people and be optimistic about the general public. But when people are teaching their kids to hate (as was referenced on Larry King tonight) it's just mind-numbingly sad.
When I started this post I thought it was going to be venting anger at the general public. I really didn't mean for this to turn philosophical and cynical, but that's where I ended up.
Anyway, the focus of the interview was on the "incident" in 2003 when Natalie said that they were ashamed that Bush is from Texas. I still don't really understand why so many people got their knickers in a twist about that comment. Heck, I liked them even more after that was said. Of course, I'm typically anti-Bush about most everything, so I may be just a little bit biased.
This comment got way too blown out of proportion in my opinion. What happened to freedom of speech? I know that there are a lot of die-hard Republicans out there. The last presidential election confirmed that for me. But to take one tiny comment and blow it into saying the Dixie Chicks are unpatriotic and are on Saddam's side is ridiculous. Natalie even had a death threat made against her. I mean, I know there are closed-minded people out there (again, see the 2004 election), but to think out any sort of attack on someone, well, is exactly what is going on in Iraq, on both sides. The insurgents continue to plan attacks against Americans, and America is continuing to plan out attacks against the insurgents.
So, I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised by the outcry of this one little comment. That sounds a lot more cynical than I had intended this post to be. I guess I've lived enough in my 26 years on the planet to basically have no faith in the human population in general, especially considering all the psychotic things happening all over the place. I don't just mean the war in Iraq, but everywhere in general. It always seems like there's some crazy person that does completely horrid things to other people. I have one such story, but that will be saved for a different post.
Getting back to my main point, the whole backlash against the Dixie Chicks in incredibly uncalled for. I don't mind that people disagree with what they said. I think disagreement is essential in democracy (even in the state it's in in America at the moment). I just think that sending death threats and having what basically amounts to a party crushing the CDs they've made. I remember seeing that on the news when it first happened and being appalled, because they were bringing bulldozers to crush the CDs. That's just pathetic. I would have more respect for people if they said they didn't agree with what the Dixie Chicks said and that's why they wouldn't buy their music. That's completely fine. But the fact that they crushed CDs just out of spite is totally useless in the long run. I simply cannot understand the motive for these types of things. Well, besides the fact that most people are followers, so if they see one idiot doing something and they have any agreement whatsoever with that idiot, they'll join in. Again, I sound incredibly jaded, which is just sad because I'm only 26. I'm supposed to still be able to see the good in people and be optimistic about the general public. But when people are teaching their kids to hate (as was referenced on Larry King tonight) it's just mind-numbingly sad.
When I started this post I thought it was going to be venting anger at the general public. I really didn't mean for this to turn philosophical and cynical, but that's where I ended up.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Three Posts in One
Now that I've somewhat recovered from studying non-stop for at least three weeks, I have several things to write about.
1. Candidacy Exam Take 3
Yesterday was, what will definitely be, the last time I'll ever have to take the candidacy exam. I'm just so relieved that it's over. I was starting to crack under the pressure of it all. However, I actually think I did pretty well on it. Usually that would be a bad sign for me, because (especially in grad school) when I usually feel great coming out of test, I get it back to find out that I did horribly. Not this time, though. What really helped me out was going over the thermo class notes, and especially working through all the problem sets. The best thing was that one question on the candidacy exam was assigned on a problem set to undergrads this semester. And since I had worked through them, I knew that I could really nail that problem. That's the reason I'm content. It always helps when you see a question that you know you can do. So, the least I expect is to conditionally pass. At least, that's what had better happen. I've put in too much time here to be shoved out the door. And I know I'll have Ray in my corner, too, provided that he's actually around when the faculty meet to discuss the results.
All in all, I finally have some confidence that I will be able to continue on to get my PhD. And it's really nice to relax, finally, after being completely stressed out for the better part of the last month. I actually forgot what it feels like to not have stress, which is incredibly sad now that I think about it.
2. Immigration
Last night I was too exhausted to basically do anything, so I plopped on the couch and just laid there most of the night, flipping through channels until Grey's Anatomy came on. I ended up watching part of Bush's speech on immigration. The thing that really surprised me is that I agree that something should be done. It is very liberal of Bush to want to do something like this, since the Republican Party basically is for big business. I have a real problem with companies that bring in illegal aliens just to get some cheap labor. The same thing goes for factories that move operations to another country. All the upper echelon people in any company are looking for ways that they can line their pockets. I know that's jaded and cynical, but it's true for the most part.
Even though I agree with Bush that something should be done, I don't know if I agree with the way he's planning on going about it. First of all, he has a plan. Considering that he went to war with Iraq with basically no strategy nor plan to win the war, it surprises me that he carefully worked out a plan on this. I think it's a good thing, but he should have been doing something like this since before we went to war.
There are some steps in his plan that seem, at this point, like they'll be next to impossible to actually execute. He brought up having tamper-proof cards for immigrants that use fingerprints or retina scans or something of that nature. Now, I'm not sure if this is already being done in places, but it sounds like a lot of labor would need to be done just to implement this idea.
I also have a problem with this guest worker plan. I know he said it was not amnesty, but it really sounds like it to me.
One other thing that kind of pissed me off is that he wanted to uphold the ideals of America being a melting pot and that all people should be equal and blah blah blah. I may be paraphrasing a bit (or possibly putting words in his mouth). But that sentiment goes completely against one of his platforms. Basically he says that anyone can come into the country and have all the rights that Americans have, which I'm not saying is a bad thing. But, it does contradict his "moral issues" about gay marriage. So basically he's saying that anyone can become an American, but if one is gay they won't get the same rights that all other people do. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, and maybe I'm not. I just feel that Bush is creating a double standard here.
I do think that this whole issue needs to be resolved, and I know that this is basically a way to remind people that he's a good man so the red states will continue to support him and keep Congress in Republican hands.
3. Loan Consolidation Companies
This is just a rant about getting so many phone calls from companies wanting to save me money on my loans. That's all well and good, but it's gotten to the point where I screen my calls, for the most part. But, I usually figure that telemarketers (which is basically what they are) will not call after a certain time of night. For example, at about 8:50 my phone rings. Usually that would be Mom calling me, so I picked up. I knew I should have hung up when I heard the delay before someone started talking to me. However, I stayed on for too long and ended up having this guy trying to convince me to re-consolidate my loans. So, I basically cut him off by saying that I have already consolidated my loans. Of course, that doesn't stop him. He keeps going on as I'm saying, repetitively, that I'm not interested. I then told him that I'll be doing it through the company with whom I've already consolidated my loans and I wasn't interested. So as I'm continuously trying to shut him up, he goes on to say something to the effect of, "So you're just going to stick with what you know and not see what else is out there." So I said yes I am. Seriously, does he really think he's going to win any customers with that kind of attitude?
I just don't get it. How many damn student loan consolidation companies are there in the country. Considering I usually get a phone call from one every other day and they all seem to say that they're a different company. I'm tempted to start writing down names when I pick up just as a little experiment. This reason is why I'm very tempted to get caller ID on my land line. It's not like I get that many calls from non-telemarketers to begin with, but it would be a lot better than screening my calls.
The other thing I'm tempted to do is when I do happen to answer my phone when it's a telemarketer is after they ask if they can speak with me (and typically butcher my last name) I'll tell them that he just dropped dead. Or something to that effect. Maybe that would get them to stop calling me.
Anyway, those are the three things I've been wanting to post about, and now I'm done ranting, at least for now.
1. Candidacy Exam Take 3
Yesterday was, what will definitely be, the last time I'll ever have to take the candidacy exam. I'm just so relieved that it's over. I was starting to crack under the pressure of it all. However, I actually think I did pretty well on it. Usually that would be a bad sign for me, because (especially in grad school) when I usually feel great coming out of test, I get it back to find out that I did horribly. Not this time, though. What really helped me out was going over the thermo class notes, and especially working through all the problem sets. The best thing was that one question on the candidacy exam was assigned on a problem set to undergrads this semester. And since I had worked through them, I knew that I could really nail that problem. That's the reason I'm content. It always helps when you see a question that you know you can do. So, the least I expect is to conditionally pass. At least, that's what had better happen. I've put in too much time here to be shoved out the door. And I know I'll have Ray in my corner, too, provided that he's actually around when the faculty meet to discuss the results.
All in all, I finally have some confidence that I will be able to continue on to get my PhD. And it's really nice to relax, finally, after being completely stressed out for the better part of the last month. I actually forgot what it feels like to not have stress, which is incredibly sad now that I think about it.
2. Immigration
Last night I was too exhausted to basically do anything, so I plopped on the couch and just laid there most of the night, flipping through channels until Grey's Anatomy came on. I ended up watching part of Bush's speech on immigration. The thing that really surprised me is that I agree that something should be done. It is very liberal of Bush to want to do something like this, since the Republican Party basically is for big business. I have a real problem with companies that bring in illegal aliens just to get some cheap labor. The same thing goes for factories that move operations to another country. All the upper echelon people in any company are looking for ways that they can line their pockets. I know that's jaded and cynical, but it's true for the most part.
Even though I agree with Bush that something should be done, I don't know if I agree with the way he's planning on going about it. First of all, he has a plan. Considering that he went to war with Iraq with basically no strategy nor plan to win the war, it surprises me that he carefully worked out a plan on this. I think it's a good thing, but he should have been doing something like this since before we went to war.
There are some steps in his plan that seem, at this point, like they'll be next to impossible to actually execute. He brought up having tamper-proof cards for immigrants that use fingerprints or retina scans or something of that nature. Now, I'm not sure if this is already being done in places, but it sounds like a lot of labor would need to be done just to implement this idea.
I also have a problem with this guest worker plan. I know he said it was not amnesty, but it really sounds like it to me.
One other thing that kind of pissed me off is that he wanted to uphold the ideals of America being a melting pot and that all people should be equal and blah blah blah. I may be paraphrasing a bit (or possibly putting words in his mouth). But that sentiment goes completely against one of his platforms. Basically he says that anyone can come into the country and have all the rights that Americans have, which I'm not saying is a bad thing. But, it does contradict his "moral issues" about gay marriage. So basically he's saying that anyone can become an American, but if one is gay they won't get the same rights that all other people do. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, and maybe I'm not. I just feel that Bush is creating a double standard here.
I do think that this whole issue needs to be resolved, and I know that this is basically a way to remind people that he's a good man so the red states will continue to support him and keep Congress in Republican hands.
3. Loan Consolidation Companies
This is just a rant about getting so many phone calls from companies wanting to save me money on my loans. That's all well and good, but it's gotten to the point where I screen my calls, for the most part. But, I usually figure that telemarketers (which is basically what they are) will not call after a certain time of night. For example, at about 8:50 my phone rings. Usually that would be Mom calling me, so I picked up. I knew I should have hung up when I heard the delay before someone started talking to me. However, I stayed on for too long and ended up having this guy trying to convince me to re-consolidate my loans. So, I basically cut him off by saying that I have already consolidated my loans. Of course, that doesn't stop him. He keeps going on as I'm saying, repetitively, that I'm not interested. I then told him that I'll be doing it through the company with whom I've already consolidated my loans and I wasn't interested. So as I'm continuously trying to shut him up, he goes on to say something to the effect of, "So you're just going to stick with what you know and not see what else is out there." So I said yes I am. Seriously, does he really think he's going to win any customers with that kind of attitude?
I just don't get it. How many damn student loan consolidation companies are there in the country. Considering I usually get a phone call from one every other day and they all seem to say that they're a different company. I'm tempted to start writing down names when I pick up just as a little experiment. This reason is why I'm very tempted to get caller ID on my land line. It's not like I get that many calls from non-telemarketers to begin with, but it would be a lot better than screening my calls.
The other thing I'm tempted to do is when I do happen to answer my phone when it's a telemarketer is after they ask if they can speak with me (and typically butcher my last name) I'll tell them that he just dropped dead. Or something to that effect. Maybe that would get them to stop calling me.
Anyway, those are the three things I've been wanting to post about, and now I'm done ranting, at least for now.
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