Random Thoughts from My Trip Home

This blog is beginning to become more of a random thoughts blog than I first had intended. But that's all I seem to have lately. So, here's some more for anyone who reads this to enjoy.

- While I was at home, I actually watched the news because the productions from Green Bay are so much better than the productions coming out of Johnstown. Anyway, one of the stories on there was about someone getting stranded on the ice in the Bay of Green Bay. Every year some idiot makes the news because they weren't smart enough to realize one of the two following things: (1) the ice isn't thick enough because it's too early in winter for it to have frozen deep enough, (2) the ice has thinned because of a rather mild spell. In this year's case it was the latter that was true. I would have thought that people might learn after seeing these stories year after year, but I guess that's not the case.

- I've come to the conclusion that semis should just have their own highway system. Either that or the drivers should be courteous to other drivers on the road. Many time in the trip home and back I've had to slow down because a semi decides to move into my lane at the last possible moment. Usually they are trying to pass another semi that is probably only going around 1 mph slower than they are. In one case on the trip back here, a semi decided to pass a whole caravan of other trucks in Indiana, so I was stuck in a line of cars that were going significantly slower than the speed limit. A lot of choice words were coming out of my mouth during that part of my drive in Indiana.

- I heard the new Madonna song a lot during both the trip home and back. No matter how many times I hear it, I don't think I'm ever going to like it. I'm sort of a music purist. That is, I like music that is not remixed or has a lot of effects that make it sound like a song that could be played in a dance club. Madonna has just been doing more and more songs with effects like that, and that just doesn't impress me. Another thing that I dislike about remixes is that the song being remixed is generally not a dance song. I could go on and on about this, but I won't bore any readers to death about that.

- I love that the speed limit in Indiana is 70 mph now. Granted that doesn't cut out much time from the 12+ hour drive for my trip home, but there's something nice about cutting any time from my trip that I can.

- Chicago is getting much easier for me to drive through. The first time, I was petrified of driving through such a big city because I was always riding whenever I'd go to Chicago with someone, and it always seemed like traffic was rather hellish. Now, it's getting easier. I just have to drive defensively. Chicago is always going to be the hairiest part of my drive, though. I actually made good time through Chicago round trip this time. (I only say Chicago, because, let's face it, the whole northeast quadrant of Illinois is Chicago.) On the way back here yesterday, I actually hit a lot of traffic in the downtown part of Chicago, but I still made good time, mainly because I was really speeding in the northern suburb part of Chicago. I couldn't help it, though. One can't do the speed limit anywhere in the Chicago area without causing a huge backup of traffic. I was going about 70 mph in a 55 mph zone and there were still some people passing me like I was standing still. I'm just glad I didn't see any cops along that stretch of road.

- Speaking of cops, I love how people always slow down as soon as they see a cop with a radar gun. It's not really going to make a difference. The cop usually catches people before they see him/her. I'll admit, though, that I sometimes do that as well.

- I was thinking while driving (because I really don't have to pay that much attention to the road for most of my drive) about how the money collected from toll roads is used. I can honestly say that I don't really know. Is it used for just the repair and improvement of the toll road/turnpike itself, or is the money used for projects on other interstates or state highways? If the money is only used for the toll roads, I have to say that some states are doing a crappy job of keeping the roads nice. Illinois is a prime example. There are so many pot holes on the Tri-State tollway and the stretch that is before the Tri-State that I'm always worried about blowing out a tire. Indiana doesn't do much better in that respect. At least not for the stretch before I need to take a ticket for the toll. Ohio's turnpike is great, though. It's very smooth and three lanes most of the time which is a nice thing when avoiding semis. If the money collected on toll roads is used for other highways, Pennsylvania is seriously neglecting I-80. Well, not all of it. Just the part of I-80 that is five miles or so before the exit for Bellefonte/Penn State. That part of the road is horrible. That's another stretch of road that I worry about blowing out a tire.

- Christmas was interesting. None of us really felt like celebrating, especially Mom. That doesn't surprise me, though, because she works in retail. She has to deal with this stuff for many weeks. But we did spend quality holiday time together, so that was good. I even got to see my aunt and uncle and cousin during the holiday when Bree and I rode down to Kenosha with the grandparents. All in all, it was a nice holiday.

- While I was at home, we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the one with Johnny Depp). I was surprised at how good it was. I really enjoyed it, much more than Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

- I impressed myself with the amount of studying for the candidacy exam I did while I was at home. To be honest, I wasn't expecting to study at all while I was at home. However, I did actually study some because both Mom and Bree were working a lot while I was home. I didn't get as much studying done as I planned on, but I was expecting a bit much for me being home. So, I'm rather pleased with myself.

- I stopped at a hotel last night to avoid the PA mountains overnight because I didn't know how slippery it would be. I must say that the person who checked me in was one of the nicest hotel staff that I've ever met. It kind of gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling, which was nice because I was a bit sad to come back here early and miss Bree's birthday. I think I may have to stop at that Best Western again. The only down side was that whoever was in the adjacent room was a very loud snorer that I could hear over the TV that night. I turned on the heater in the room to have some white noise to cover up the snoring. But, that's a the only downside. Overall, I was very impressed.

I think that's about it for now. I'm back in State College, and getting ready to start cramming for the candidacy exam, which I will be done with a week from right now. I'm not sure if much studying will get done tonight, or if I'm just going to rest and recover from my drive. We'll see.

Candidacy Exam Rant #2 and Some Other Random Thoughts

Well, here's the second rant about the upcoming candidacy exam that I'm taking in just over two weeks. The exam itself has two sections, physical and dynamic meteorology. For most people, this really isn't a problem because both the sections could easily come up in their research. For me, however, being not in the norm as usual, the physical section is essentially irrelevant to me. One of the subjects in the physical section is cloud physics. Now I did enjoy the class when I took it, but since I'm pursuing a PhD in the oceanographic realm, cloud physics seems utterly irrelevant, because, and this is a big shocker, clouds don't form in the ocean! Yet I have to study it well enough to potentially answer a question or two about it. The second subject is radiative transfer. This might actually be somewhat relevant, but I don't think the specifics of it are really necessary for me to understand when I'm studying the ocean. Plus, the whole subject is so abstract, that I don't think anyone, except for maybe Drs. Clothiaux and Bohren, really understand it very well. But, again, I have to study it and attempt to understand it well enough to potentially answer a question or two about it. Yay.

That's my second rant about the candidacy exam, and it may not be the last because I get to study while I'm at home for Christmas. Woohoo. Now on to some more random thoughts that I don't really feel like putting in separate posts.

- Next semester I get to TA. I'm having problems with that for a couple different reasons. One is that I didn't even know that I was supposed to TA until I got an email in early November asking us for input as to which classes we wanted to TA for. I'm not a big fan of surprises like that. At least I'm teaching something I've taught before: Meteo 3, or as we grad students call it, Weather for Dummies. Actually not all the students are stupid, but there are always a few who tend to make life a living hell. But even that I'm not that upset about. What upsets me the most is that I have to TA for a student whose doing a combined undergrad/grad degree, which is basically something like a super-senior, except he's getting two degrees in less time. The main issue I have with this is I don't expect any of his students to have a lick of respect for him, because he hasn't even obtained any degree in meteorology. Plus, he'll be at most maybe four years older than most of them, but if there are any seniors in the class, they'll basically be the same age. I know I would have a problem getting taught by someone my age. The only thing I have to say is that the department absolutely needs to be in desperate need for people to teach this course. Because I think it's a little sketchy that a technically-undergrad student is teaching other undergrads.

- Yesterday I drove to Greensburg, PA to visit with my best friend from undergrad, Ingrid. The drive down there was interesting in that all the snow we've gotten recently was melting. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm very happy that the roads are salted so that there is little chance of ice to form. However, I do think there is such a thing as oversalting. Honestly, parts of my car were completely white by the time I got to Greensburg. I know I should wash it, but since I'm driving home tomorrow, it seemed like a waste of money to get it washed when probably the same thing will happen again. Plus, I didn't really have time to wash it today.

- I realized today that I've been woefully underpreparing for my drive home tomorrow. I got back to the apartment tonight and realized I had to do so much stuff before leaving. It looks like I'll be getting a somewhat late start tomorrow. Maybe. I'm still not sure about how much more I want to do tomorrow before leaving. I probably should vacuum, but I don't really want to. We'll see what happens.

- I get to bring my bunny home for the holiday, which I'm sure will thrill her. The last time I took her home, she seemed slightly different when I got home. But, I don't really have a choice. I knew that most people have left or will leave for whatever holiday they might celebrate (see prior post). So, it's a little inconvenient for me and her, but we'll both just have to deal.

- I've kind of realized lately that I'm not thrilled with how television seasons are run. It seems like shows are only writing for the few sweeps periods that there are. After November is done, most shows show repeats for the month of December, and then they come back to being new episodes in January to get people hooked again for February sweeps. Even the soaps sort of do that, not so much in showing repeats, but the storylines all come to a head during the sweeps months. I'm not complaining too much, though, since that frees up so much time for me to study. And there are some shows that I could watch over and over again and not get sick of them, like Gilmore Girls.

- A couple weeks ago I went to Ben & Jerry's for my weekly smoothie, and two of the workers were talking about Grey's Anatomy. I could tell because the guy said something about the quints (if you've seen the show, you know what I'm talking about), and I was just kind of excited to hear some other people talking about what is becoming one of the best shows on TV at the moment. Gilmore Girls is still number one in my book, but Grey's is a close second. I'm just glad other people are realizing it.

Well, I think that's about it for now. I should really get to bed soon to get enough sleep so I'm not too tired or dependent on caffeine during my drive tomorrow. Happy Holidays, whichever holiday you celebrate!

Harry Kwanmiskkah?

I was reading an article on CNN.com this morning (see it here) about how to wish people good tidings no matter which holiday they celebrate around this time of year. According to this article, conservative groups are planning boycotts and lawsuits against retailers who don't have "Merry Christmas" as part of their holiday display. There's even a book titled, "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday is Worse than You Thought." I do like the quote from Jon Stewart on the Daily Show this article had: "Every time you say 'Happy Holidays,' an angel gets AIDS." That's satire at its finest!

Are people really being serious with this crap? Shouldn't this be a time of year when people put aside petty bickering and just be nice to one another, no matter what religious beliefs you have? Are people who don't celebrate Christmas going to be terribly offended if a person who works in retail wishes them a merry Christmas? Maybe we should all wear buttons identifying which holiday we celebrate so that when someone sees it they know how to wish people happiness during their holiday. Or maybe we should all just smash together all the holidays at this time of year, as I've done with the title of this post. But, even there, I'm probably leaving out millions of other religious holidays that might occur around this time.

You know, nothing pisses me off more than petty bickering like this during a time when we're supposed to be celebrating. The holiday season, in my mind, is about getting along with your fellow people no matter what religion, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, or whatever other distinction they have. And yes, Christmas itself is for celebrating the birth of Jesus. The other holidays that fall around this time of year probably also celebrate something else that is significant in that particular religion. I'm not certain of what they celebrate, which probably makes me a little ignorant, but if people who might read this want to comment on other religious celebrations, I'm more than willing to learn.

I know that it's hard to get along with your fellow humans when doing Christmas shopping because everyone seems to think only of themselves. Trust me, I hate going to malls/department stores around this time of year because large crowds of people annoy me. But still, what I'm saying is that, instead of bickering about saying either "Merry Christmas," "Happy Hanukkah," "Happy Kwanzaa," or "Happy Holidays" is just plain stupid. It really shouldn't make a difference. If people are going to be offended because of which holiday other people wish them, they should take a long, hard look at why they're offended, because the spirit of the message is the same.

OK, I'm done and stepping off my soapbox now.

Snow Day?

This morning when my alarm went off for the second time (because I didn't feel like getting up right away) the station that I wake up to, 101 FM, was in the process of listing schools that have closed due to the impending winter storm. So, when I rolled out of bed after a couple songs, I looked out the window and noticed that nothing was happening yet. That leads me to believe that the storm that's coming is not going to bring us as much snow/ice/whatever the hell else decides to fall out of the sky. I'm just using past precedent for this. When I was in grade school, middle school, and high school, whenever a snow day was announced before the bad weather hit, it usually wasn't as bad as forecasters were predicting. However, when school remained open regardless of what the forecasters say, there would be a lot of snow and the school would dismiss early. I remember one time in particular, there was a pretty significant snow storm that had already started precipitating when I went to school in the morning, and school let out one hour early. By that time a lot of snow had fallen and driving home was not the easiest thing in the world to do.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that most school systems, in my opinion, usually get it wrong when it comes to cancelling school. Or at least they did back home. Here I'm not so sure, though. But as I look out my window today and still see nothing happening, it makes me wonder. Now, I'll be the first to admit that the schools were right and I'm wrong if we do get the 6-9 inches of snow the forecasters are predicting. (At least I think that's what they're predicting. It seems to change hourly.) I guess only time will tell. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm studying at home today, so I really don't need to worry too much about the weather, unless we get significant icing. Then I won't have power, and will probably slide under the covers of my bed all day to keep warm. Only time will tell though.

It's Official....

I just received word today that my abstract for the 2006 Ocean Science Meeting has been accepted. I'm presenting my work in the form of a poster. So, it should be fun, and slightly stressful for the next couple months trying to get something done with my work that is relatively interesting to show people. But I can deal with the stress, especially because the meeting is in Hawaii. Yup, Hawaii in late February sounds like a good enough reason to put up with the stress.

Crunch Time

I'm supposed to have a conference call with Ray and the rest of the group that's working on the NASA IDS project on the carbon cycle along continental shelf regions. I think I'm going to skip it though. There are a couple reasons for this.

One, I haven't really done much work since the last conference call a month ago. That's only because life intervened with the myriad of medical testing I needed to go through to prove that I'm, for the most part, healthy. I had an MRI, a cancer test on my eye, and some blood tests all within the span of a month. That drains a person. In fact, I went to bed at 10:30 last night because I was just exhausted, probably from the stress of all this medical crap. Anyway, I feel bad not being able to get much work done, but it's hard to be productive when so many things are on my mind. I know Ray's probably not going to be very happy about this, but I can't do anything about it. He's just going to have to deal with it. I'm not going to get very much work done this month due to finals and studying for the candidacy exam. I know he won't be thrilled about that either, but if he wants me to stick around, again, he'll just have to deal with it.

The other reason I'm probably not going to the conference call tomorrow is that it's crunch time here. I have a lab report due on Thursday, and I'm only half done with the first draft. After I finish the first draft, I let it sit for a while, and edit the hell out of it later.

Besides those reasons, I have therapy tomorrow afternoon at 2:00, so I always have to leave the conference call early just so I have time to walk to my therapist and have enough time to relax before she calls me up.

So, anyway, I just needed to vent a little. I really do feel bad not getting anything done research-wise lately, but life had to throw me a curve ball. On that note, I'm off to bed, because I'm exhausted once again.

Test Results Part IV

Yes, I'm creating another post about test results. Yesterday I went to the doctor for a recheck on my headaches and to go over the results of my MRI face-to-face. He also wanted me to get blood drawn for a cholesterol test because my MRI showed two vessels that were hardened in the white matter of my brain. Then I told him about my shaking hands (which were really bad over Thanksgiving), so he ordered a thyroid test, too, in case the tremors were due to low thyroid rather than the anti-depressants I've been taking.

I called Ritenour this morning to get my results, and they actually had them done, which I think it quite shocking. Anyway, my cholesterol is good. It's at 186, which is in a healthy range. It should be less than 200, so I'm happy. My good cholesterol and bad cholesterol, therefore, are also in good ranges. My thyroid test turned out to be normal as well. Overall, I guess I would say I'm normal. At least healthwise, anyway. In other ways, not so much.

I think this will be it for the tests, though. That's a good thing, because I'm sick of having nearly everything tested just to be on the safe side. And I still don't know anything about my headaches except that they're from tension. I don't know why. I don't have any tension in my life. (Can you sense the sarcasm??) I am glad, though, that I'm done being a lab rat.

I have other things to say, but none of them really fit under this title, so they'll have to wait. I'm just relieved that everything is turning out ok. Now I can maybe be able to focus a bit better on stuff that I should be doing without having any medical stuff hanging over my head.

Random Thoughts

This post contains some random thoughts, none of which really seem worthy of a blog entry by themselves.

- I'm becoming increasingly aware that I like physical oceanography better than chemical oceanography, which probably isn't good since my main work is in the chemical realm. All the papers I've read on physical stuff like sea level rise and mixed layer depth I can sit down and read and not fall asleep or want to put my head through a wall. I guess I maybe should mention something to Ray about it, but I think that can wait.

- It's been cloudy all week here in State College. It gets pretty damn depressing waking up in the morning and still feeling like it's nighttime. But, this is State College in winter, so I'll have to get used to it.

- I keep seeing this car in the BJC parking lot with the cutest bumper sticker on it. It says, "Bush for lawn ornament." I know it's from the last election, but I still smile when I see it.

- I've been craving chocolate like you wouldn't believe lately. I can't seem to figure out why, though. I just can't seem to get enough. Very strange, but well, look who's typing this.

- I could use another break already. I just got back from Thanksgiving less than a week ago, and I'm already exhausted. That's because it's the end of the semester and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to have an easy workload the last two weeks of the semester. At least it's almost over.

I thought I had other random thoughts, but I can't seem to remember them at the moment. Hmmm... they'll probably come back to me at a strange time. Anyway, I need to head off to colloquium.

Major understatement

I was listening to NPR on the way to the grocery store after leaving campus (mainly because nothing interesting to listen was on any other station I have programmed in my car) and they were talking about Bush's "plan of action," or whatever he's calling it. (See previous post.) One of the commentators said, "Bush is not a gifted orator." And I thought to myself, well, that's the understatement of the year.

Anyway, I found it amusing. That's all; it's just another one of those random blog-worthy moments.

Strategy Plan

A little earlier today I got in to the office. The first thing I usually do is check my email, look what the weather is doing, and check CNN.com to see what the big news of the day is. When I got to CNN's homepage the top headline is "Bush Lays Out Strategy for Iraq." That got me thinking, why now? Here we are, nearly three years into the war in Iraq with American soldiers dying nearly every day. And Bush first decides to let the country know what his strategy is to win the war in Iraq?! Seriously, shouldn't he have thought about this more, say, when we first invaded Iraq?

I think that's one of the main reasons I do not support the war in and of itself. Bush decided to start it by saying that Saddam is bad (I'm paraphrasing a little bit there) and needs to be overthrown. OK, that's all well and good. But, that seemed to be his only plan. Well, that and fighting the war on terror, which I thought was suppose to be in Afghanistan, you know, where Osama is.

Now, I didn't read what their plan was, because I don't have time to read a 38-page document while I'm at the office, but I still think it's coming way too late in the war. I see that Bush had to do something because support for the war is waning really quickly, but it still doesn't make sense that he'd wait this long to let America know what his plan of action is. That's all I'm saying on that subject, because it just pisses me off.

And as a sidenote, just because I say I'm against the war doesn't mean I think we should pull our troops out. I'm saying that we shouldn't have gone there in the first place without some solid plan as to when we could declare victory. While the troops are still there, I'm going to support them, because that is what we should do as Americans.

Anyway, that's enough from me for now. I probably should do some work while I'm here today.

Test Results Part III

Since my last entry was quite short and not very specific, I'm going to go into more detail in this entry about what sorts of tests I've been through and what the results are.

First off, the MRI. My doctor finally called me back that Thursday before Thanksgiving and told me that he was going to go over the results with me, but my next scheduled appointment is in a week. So, he went over them with me briefly on the phone and we'll go over them some more when I see him next week. Basically they found two things. The first was some sort of sinusitis. I think the MRI caught that my sinuses were inflamed or something of that nature. This makes sense, since I had a cold at the time. The second thing they found was a bunch of medical jargon that my doctor translated into English for me. They found two non-specific vessels in the white matter of my brain (the part that separates the two hemispheres) that looked like they were hardened. So, my doctor wants to get a blood test from me to check my cholestrol. Hopefully it's not too high. It may not be since there were only a couple vessel found there. But, I'm not sure. We'll see next week. The good news from this is that I don't have a tumor or aneurism, so the cause of my headaches is not part of my brain.

The second test I went through was for my eye. My optometrist saw a spot on my eye that she wanted to get checked out by an ophthalmologist and he sent me to a retina specialist to get a second and more qualified opinion. They all wanted to make sure that the spot is just a mole instead of a spot of melanoma. The retina specialist determined that it was only a mole and it was benign, which was quite the relief for me and my mom and my sister (who came out here to support me through the cancer scare). I just have to go back to him in four months to have a follow-up to be certain that it isn't cancer.

So, I'm relatively healthy, with no tumor or cancer. And that's very good news. The only bad thing is that I still don't know the cause of my headaches, besides them being from tension. At least they don't happen every day anymore. I've had a pretty bad one yesterday and today, but I'm attributing that one to the stress of having a paper due in oceanography.

Anyway, that's the more-detailed news for those of you that care to know.

Test Results Part II

Just a small update on my last entry. All my tests were fine, nothing out of the ordinary to report. So, that's a large weight off my shoulders.

Other than that, not much else is new. I'm heading home today with my mom and sister, and spending all of next week off for Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!! Don't eat too much!

Test Results

Last Friday I had an MRI taken of my brain. My doctor at Ritenour wanted to be safe and check everything now that he knows about the tests I'm having done on my eye tomorrow. He just wants to make sure that my headaches are really just tension headaches and not caused by something bigger and badder.

Anyway, I called Ritenour today to get the results, and the nurse I spoke to told me them. However, there was a whole bunch of medical jargon that I probably couldn't repeat now if I tried. The only word she said from my results was sinusitis. That make sense to me since I had a cold last week when I had the MRI done. All the other words were medical, so now I'm paranoid that it's something bad in my brain. I mean, all medical words sound big and scary. The nurse didn't even really understand them. So, now I'm waiting for them to call back and tell me in simplicity what exactly the MRI found. It's very nervewracking, and I'm also having a hard time concentrating on what I should be doing, that is, getting my lab report done since it's due today. I wish she would just call back and tell me the news, good or bad. That way I can get on with my life and not sit here staring at my cell phone waiting for it to ring.

Well, I suppose I should get going and continue editing my lab report. It's due at 2:30, so I still have some time. I just need to not think about what might or might not be wrong with me, besides being slightly abnormal, that is.

Candidacy Exam Rant #1

Yes, I'm calling this #1 because I'm sure there will be more to come. If not, then I started a numbered sequence and never finished, which fulfills the Procrastinator's Creed, so it's a win-win either way.

Anyway, my rant for today comes as a follow-up to a rant earlier in the semester. I had started to organize a group of the people who were planning on taking the candidacy exam this semester so we could start studying for it. (Not that that did much good. The group's kind of fallen apart recently because we're all too busy.) Once I found out who was all taking it, I had an "organizational" meeting to more or less push my own agenda. I was proposing moving the exam from early January to before Christmas. It sounded like a very fine idea to me, so we wouldn't have to have that thing looming over us over the holidays. Most of the group thought that was a fantastic idea. There was one, however, who was adament about having it in January because he was taking three classes this semester and had finals the week before the one we were proposing the exam should be moved to. I can sort of understand that after having three finals, he probably wouldn't want to study for another exam after that. He was just being a whiny little bitch about it that I was getting incredibly frustrated by him. (I'm sure you can tell from my description of him.)

So, since it wasn't unanimous that we move the exam, I told Dr. Shirer not to worry about it. I only proposed it veyr early on in the semester on the chance that this kid would realize he wouldn't be able to handle three classes and studying for the candidacy exam in November and back out of taking it. Well, lo and behold, we get an email from Dr. Shirer (the associate head of the department, and organizer of all things related to the department) saying he was going to hold a meeting about what the candidacy exam entails in the last two weeks of the semester. Guess who wasn't on the list in that email? The kid who was so irritating about not moving it. Little bastard.....

So, that's my rant about the candidacy exam. Or at least about a certain someone in the department who was supposed to be taking it. As you can tell, I hold on to grudges quite a while.

But, really, it's not bothering me too much that the exam is in January now. I almost like that better, because I'll have extra time to study for it. It just kind of sucks that I won't be able to stay at home for that long over Christmas break. I'll be coming back here before New Year's Eve because there's no way I'll be able to study at home for this exam. I'll be too distracted by everything else. Not that studying here has been accomplished all that much, but I'll have a better chance to get it done here than at home. It also sucks that I'll miss my sister's birthday (which is New Year's Eve). This'll be the first one I've missed, but there's nothing I can do about it, unfortunately. Unless I fly home for a day or two and then come back, which could be an option as well. But, even if I can't, she says she understands, because she's only turning 20. She definitely wants me there for her 21st next year, though. I promised to take her out to a gay bar. That is, if I can find a good one sort of close to home. I highly doubt it in my hometown, so I may just end up taking her out somewhere else. But, we're definitely going to celebrate that one well.

Alrighty, I'm done ranting and blabbing on for now. It's almost time for Related, which is a very cute show. I also need to relax a little bit. I've been working most of the day on my presentation for tomorrow (which should be fun since today my voice has been threatening to leave me) and my lab report due on Thursday that I'm trying to get done early because my family's coming out here on Wednesday!! I don't want to have to do anything important while they're here. We'll see how well that goes.

OK, I think I'm truly done babbling for now. Plus, I'm getting tired, so it's definitely time to just plop in front of the TV for the rest of the night.

Sleep. It does a body good.

I am completely in awe of the recuperative powers of sleep. On Wednesday (my birthday) I was starting to feel a little sickly with the start of a cold. So, on Friday I ended up leaving campus earlier than I usually do because I felt that I should just take a break and relax. So, that's what I did. I came home and plopped in front of the TV for a good long while. I also decided that this weekend would be one where I didn't set an alarm for anything. I was just going to sleep and let my body heal itself. So, I went to bed around midnight on Friday but was tossing and turning for about 45 minutes before I actually got comfortable enough to sleep. The next thing I know, besides being woken up by the banging pipes in the wall between my bedroom and kitchen, it's just a little after noon. So, I literally got 11 hours of sleep. And last night I got between 9 and 10 hours of sleep. So, half of the weekend was spent unconscious. The good thing is that I'm feeling much, much better after that. I'm still not quite 100%, but I'm not congested and I don't have a very scratchy throat, so things are looking up.

Other than that, my weekend wasn't incredibly productive. I did get a good start on my lab report that's due Thursday, which makes me feel better, since this week is kind of busy for me. I also have a presentation to give at our group meeting, but I'm just going to discuss some papers on mixed layer depth, so that presentation should be fairly easy to prepare. So, it looks like I should get just about everything done in the necessary order, so I can spend time with my family when they come out here on Wednesday!

I can't believe it's already mid-November. Time has sure flown. I'm really excited to have Mom and Bree out here this week. This is the first time they have been out here since graduation in August 2004. What's really nice is that they're flying one-way out here from O'Hare to Pittsburgh, and then I'm driving them back next weekend and spending an extra long Thanksgiving break at home. I'm really looking forward to this extended family time. Unfortunately their reasons for coming out here aren't the greatest, since I'm having tests done on my eye. But still, it should be nice. It will also be a little weird driving them home, because I've become so used to not having anyone in the car with me. It should be exciting, provided that Mom doesn't panic too much if there's a lot of traffic.

Let's see, what else? Oh, yeah, I had an MRI done on Friday. The doctor I've been seeing at Ritenour thought that with all the tests being done for my eye that I should probably get an MRI done since I've been having persistant headaches for ages now. Just to be on the safe side, you know. That was quite an experience. It's a very good thing I'm not claustrophobic. Just lying there in a big tube and hearing clunking noises combined with someone talking to me via a microphone telling what's going to happen is an interesting experience. But of all tests I could have done, it was probably the most relaxing, because all I had to do was lay still. And, of course, they injected me with a dye so they could scan my brain with contrast. Even though I'm not the biggest fan of needles, it hardly bothered me at all. All I felt was a little pinch and then all of a sudden the lady who injected me was putting a cotton ball on it. Not too bad.

Well, I think that's all the news I have for now. Plus, it's almost time for Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. I don't think there's much chance of the power going out tonight, so I should be able to watch both, which is most definitely a good thing.

I wonder if this is what the Waltons felt like....

Happy birthday to me! I just turned 26 today. Normally, I get jazzed by my birthday, but this year I'm not quite as excited as I normally am. Part of it is because of all the tests I'm going to be getting in the next week and a half. I'm kind of nervous about them, even though I'm fairly certain that the results from them will be normal.

The other part is that I think I'm getting a cold. I've been feeling kind of weird lately. Sort of run down, and I've had a bad case of dry mouth. Yeah, I know that's a sign of getting drunk, but I haven't had a drink in ages. Seriously. I had at first thought it was from one of the drugs that I'm taking to help with my headaches, but now I think it might be from whatever bug I've caught.

That's just my luck, though. Getting sick on my birthday. That would also explain why I don't have any urge to have people over for a dinner like I did for the past couple years. I just have no ambition to make a big meal and have company. Maybe some other time, but not now, unless I feel miraculously better tomorrow.

Other than that, not much else is new. I opened my gifts today. Mom got me Star Wars Episode III and some candy and a Pocket Dragon. Bree also got me a Pocket Dragon, and the movie was from her, too. From Ingrid I got Monty Python and the Holy Grail on DVD, so now I have two copies of it because I had one on VHS. She also got me some other little things.

When I went to Greensburg to visit with her, we went to see "Prime." It was a very cute movie. Meryl Streep is fantastic in it. So funny. I'm not sure I'm thrilled with the ending of it, but at least it felt like an ending, unlike some movies.

Tonight, I'm praying that the power doesn't go out. A new episode of Lost is on, and from what I've read in the spoilers, it looks like it will be great. However, we're getting thunderstorms at the moment, with gusty winds, and the last time that happened (Sunday) my power went out right in the middle of Desperate Housewives. I was a little peeved by that. So, here's hoping that doesn't happen during Lost.

Although, when the power went out on Sunday, it was actually kind of nice and peaceful. Sometimes it's nice not to rely on electronics to amuse myself. So, I did crossword puzzles by candlelight, while wondering if this is what the Waltons did.

But still, if the power goes out tonight, I'll be mighty pissed. Luckily, though, Mom is taping it for me, so when she and Bree come out here next week, I'll ask her to bring it.

With that, I'm off to go watch some TV and just rest so I can maybe kill this damn bug before it gets too bad.

Rant Time

OK, this is going to be another short post, but I just have to vent a little bit. This afternoon I had the single worst lecture I've ever had. Well, that might be exaggerating a bit, but that's how pissed off I am about it. First of all, it was on potential vorticity conservation, which to most readers out there probably sound like a bunch of gibberish, and it's very hard to explain well. So hard in fact, that I don't think I've had a good explanation of it ever. Anyway, today was especially horrible. The prof was flying through the lecture, skipping steps along the way, and jumping all over the place. I had next to no clue what the hell was going on. In the middle of it, I actually did raise my hand to ask a question because I couldn't make the leap from where he started to his next step because he skipped a large number of steps between there. Then he proceeded to basically make me feel like an idiot by saying, "Well, I guess I'll derive it...." That pissed me off to no end, mainly because I don't like being made to feel like a complete dumbass. It was a simple question and he had no right to make it seem like such a big deal to show some intermediate steps to help clear up any confusion. In fact, I think he was almost intentionally trying to confuse the whole class. He has absolutely no right being a lecturer, but as Tim (my officemate) put it, at a big research driven school like this, teaching is not the number one priority. Research is. This is why I don't want to work at a large school after I finish my degree. I much prefer a small school where the main focus is on teaching.

Anyway, I'm very grumpy right now, and I need to give myself some time to calm down. Plus, it's almost time for colloquium, and it sounds like a potentially interesting seminar, so I'll head down there soon. Hopefully by the end of it, I'll be a little less pissy. I'm not counting on it, though.

November Heat Wave

I just checked the NWS State College homepage, and it said it was 71F here. That's impressive for it being early November. And to think, just last week it was snowing. I definitely wouldn't mind it staying like this for a while.

Thank You Captain Obvious

So, I got an email this morning from one of the secretaries in the meteo department. I'm going to quote it here:

"I have been notified by OPP that we are having heating problems in the building and they have been working on it for several days. They are unable to control the temperature to keep the building comfortable. They are working on it so hopefully it will be fixed soon."

This is one of the most blatent stating-the-obvious moments that I've seen in quite a while. Anyone who's been in Walker Building at any time this week has realized how incredibly hot it is here. I swear this building is falling apart, what with the fire alarms that go off at completely random times, the elevators occasionally getting stuck, and the heating and cooling system that only works every so often. OK, so maybe the building itself isn't falling apart, but all the "conveniences" in it are.

Alright, I'm done now. This was just one of those moments that I thought were blog-worthy.

November already?!

I can't believe it's November already. It hardly seems possible. Time is just flying by, which is nie in some ways and kind of scary in others. This month is probably going to go incredibly fast, at least at the rate it's filling up with appointments and such. This Friday I have my first appointment with a psychiatrist to see if there are any meds that will work to a) help lessen my headaches a bit more and b) keep my mood a bit brighter. So, we'll see. Unfortunately, he's not fully covered by my insurance (stupid MEGA), so it may be that I go to him sparingly.

Since I have that appointment on Friday anyway, I'm also taking my car in for an oil change, since it's not going to be too long from now that I'll be driving home to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving. Plus, on Saturday I'm driving to Greensburg to see Ingrid, at least I think that's still the plan. I haven't heard back from her yet. Hopefully I'll hear back soon.

Let's see, other appointments in November. Next Monday I go back to Ritenour to see the doctor I've been seeing about my headaches. Yay. They are a bit more transient of late, so that should be good news. However, I'm not sure if they are actually going away, or just lessening enough so that I focus through them. Most of the time if I have something that really needs my full attention, I don't notice my headaches so much. I'm hoping that means they're going away. But I do have a high tolerance for pain, so it may just be that too. We'll see on Monday.

Then on the 18th I go to Johnstown to get my eye tested yet again. But, still, it'll be nice to have Mom and Bree here to drive me there and just support me in general. I'm still seeing how it might work out if they fly here one way and then I leave earlier than I was planning on to go home for Thanksgiving. I need to look further into that.

So, basically the next three weeks are going to be busy for various reasons. Then I get approximately a week off for Thanksgiving, and then it's two hell weeks before finals. Luckily I only have one final, so that won't be too bad, except for the fact that it's at 8am. We all know how much I love mornings. (Sorry for the sarcasm dripping down your screens at the moment.) But I'll make it through.... with lots of caffeine.

Greensburg should be fun this weekend. Ingrid and I are celebrating my birthday a little early by going out to eat, probably doing a mall crawl, and seeing "Prime" somewhere in between there as well. That looks like a hilarious movie. I'm just hoping it lives up to its previews. So, that's something to look forward to.

It seems like practically every tv show I watch is on a mini-hiatus this week. Most of the time I've been watching repeats of shows. This is because sweeps officially start next month, and every show is saving its best stuff for then. It kind of sucks, but a lot of the shows I watch are well-written enough to warrant watching them a second time through. Especially Gilmore Girls. It was a repeat of the season premiere tonight. Very funny episode. There are so many quotable lines from that episode alone. I swear I could watch any episode of that show over and over again.

I also watched the rerun of Supernatural tonight. It was set in Lake Manitoc, WI. Now, that's not a real place, mind you. However, the first time I saw this episode, I noticed the setting as was kind of surprised. See, the spelling of the town is very close to my hometown, Manitowoc. So, after the episode I googled it, because I thought it was more than just a coincidence. It turns out that one of the writers or someone behind the scenes on the show is from the Manitowoc/Two Rivers area. I thought that was pretty exciting. Even some of the landmarks mentioned in the show are based on real places in the area. I think it's pretty cool. It's kind of like being from a famous place, sort of. The only other thing that that area is known for is that it was the birthplace of the ice cream sundae, which is also kind of cool. Technically that was Two Rivers, but that's where I grew up until my family moved when I was in college. Yeah, it's kind of random, but still interesting.

So, I think that's about it. I should probably go to bed fairly soon. Today I felt like a walking zombie. I just can't seem to find the right amount of time I need to sleep in order to feel refreshed in the morning. Maybe I'm just not getting restful enough sleep. I just don't know. Of course now that I'm thinking of going to bed, I'm getting a second wind. What can I say? My body is weird.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. And in case anyone cares, there are eight days till my birthday. It's not like I'm turning a special age or anything, but it's still nice to celebrate them and now I've made it fairly successfully through another year in my life. So, with that, I'm off.

Homecoming, Halloween, and Daylight Saving Time

This weekend was homecoming weekend here at Penn State. Unlike previous years, I didn't participate in any of the festivities. Usually I like to go to the parade, just to see what kinds of crappy floats the frats put together. But this year, I just didn't feel like going. Part of it is that it was cold out. Parades aren't that fun if you're freezing your ass off. Another part is that I didn't really want to go alone. Yet another part is that I didn't want to leave my apartment really early just to find a parking spot somewhere on campus, because I knew that wasn't going to be fun at all. The last part is I just didn't feel like being in a large mob of people in various states of drunkenness.

Traffic was even pretty bad yesterday only about two hours before the game. I had thought most people would be making their way to the stadium well before that to tailgate, since this is a big game. However, Atherton St. was incredibly busy even at 1pm. Luckily, though, Giant was pretty empty. In fact, some cashiers were waiting for people to go check out unlike most other times I've gone shopping. It was kind of nice.

Tomorrow is Halloween, and I've been debating if I should dress up or not. I don't think I am because I can't think of a really good costume. I could reuse the one I used a couple years ago and go as Death, or one of the monks from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The Monty Python idea really appeals to me, but I'm not sure how many people would get it, and having to explain your costume ruins its effect. Then I thought about getting somewhat dressed up and getting some horns and a pitchfork and go as a well-dressed devil, but the the horns that I really liked looked like they would be rather cumbersome to put on. So, that idea is thrown out. My last idea was to get a shaggy white-haired wig and dress up as Tim Conway's old man from the Carol Burnett show, but since I'm about the only person in State College I know who has watched that show, it would again be a costume I'd have to explain. So, I probably will just wear normal clothes to campus tomorrow. Besides, I don't want to be the only person who dresses up in Walker Building.

Daylight saving time occurred early this morning, which is nice in the fall. Getting that extra hour to sleep is always great. I even took advantage of it, instead of staying awake that extra hour. However, it's sad that on most days I'll be leaving campus after it gets dark out. That's just a little depressing.

After numerous phone calls and rearrangements of my schedule for the next month, I've finally worked it out so that my mom and sister can come to visit me in the middle-ish of November. That's exciting, just because I miss them quite a bit. However, the reason they're coming is so they can drive me to Johnstown for tests on the spot on my eye. So, it's sort of a mixed bag of emotions for that to come. These tests are what I was alluding to in my last post. They are to check to see if the thing on my eye is just a mole, or nevus in technical terms, or if it's..... something worse. Yeah, I'm being a bit cryptic, but it's not something I want to post so the world can see until I know for sure what's going on. I'm just glad my family is coming because I need their support most. Plus, I don't know who I'd ask to drive me to Johnstown on a Friday to stay there for 2-4 hours while I get tested. So, it'll be nice to have them here.

In other news, the Packers just lost another game. Yes, I'll still be a Packer fan no matter how badly they do, but it would be nice to see them win more than one game this season. I'm not sure what's going on with them, but they've been declining for a while now. I'm almost glad the tv listing on Yahoo were wrong about the game being shown here. It would have been painful to watch. I really feel bad for Brett, because I know he wants to retire on a high note, but it doesn't look like this season is going to be it for him. Of course, he seems like he could play until he's 50, so he may be around after the Pack rebuilds a bit.

I think that's about it for now. I need to go write out the bills I have for the month and study some more. Then it's tv time because Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy (which looks like it'll be really good tonight) are on.

Happy Halloween a day early in case I don't write anything tomorrow!

Make your own kind of music, sing your own special song....

Today was probably one of the most unproductive days I've had at work in a while. I just had no motivation to do anything. It didn't help that I have therapy at 2pm on Wednesdays, so that cuts my day short, unless, of course, I decide to go back to the office after therapy, which some days is necessary. Today wasn't one of them. Then there's the fact that I can't drag myself out of bed before 8am, so I usually don't get to the office until 10am. Now, you might be wondering why it takes two hours to get to campus. Well, first of all, I don't jump right out of bed in the morning. Then I have to eat a little something, shower (which takes a longer time for me than for most guys), get everything together to go to campus. So, I usually leave between 9:15 and 9:30. Then I drive to the BJC and park my car, which takes approximately five minutes total, depending on how quickly I can find a spot. Then I catch a Loop or Link to go to the other end of campus. This part of the trip is usually highly variable. It all depends on how quick the buses come or if they wait, because there's no way in hell I'm running to catch one, and then which one I end up taking, usually a Link because it seems quicker. The ride to wherever I can get dropped off can take 20 minutes depending on how many people are getting on and off at each stop.

So, today I had less time on campus anyway, so I knew productivity wouldn't be high. I didn't think it would be this low, though, either. I did manage to register for a class next semester. It's a modeling course, which should be helpful, or at least practical in case I end up not passing the candidacy exam again. We'll see.

After therapy today I went to Ben & Jerry's. It's become a ritual now, sort of a treat for myself. No matter how rough the session, I go there. Usually I get the same thing, too. A raspberry cream smoothie. Geez, my mouth is watering just thinking about it. Anyway, the point I'm making is that I went in today, and the guy that works there actually remembered what I usually get. So, that was very cool. It's nice to know I make an impression on people.

Therapy was kind of rough today. Lots of things going on in my life. I know they say (and who this "they" are is beyond me) that one should take one day at a time, or at least one thing at a time, but it always seems like the things that go on in my life gang up on me and attack all at once. And today wasn't even talking about my past, which is sordid and juicy and if I changed some names, I could probably write a best-seller. Today was more about the present. I'm not going to go into detail quite yet because I need to find some things out first. (I like to keep anyone that reads this on the edge of their seat.) It's a big, hard, scary thing (I hope no one's mind is in the gutter). I've been doing an incredibly good job of downplaying it to my mom and myself. Almost too good. I even almost convinced myself that it's not a big deal. But during therapy, my emotions got the better of me, and I realized how huge it really is. It's the kind of thing that I need the support of my mom, physically. I know I have it, but it's not the same thing when it's coming from around 750 miles away.

Well, that's quite the cliffhanger for the few of you that read this often. I'll go into more detail in future entries. I won't just leave on the edge of your seat.

In other news, I impressed myself today. I actually started studying for the candidacy exam. Well, sort of, anyway. It's more that I cracked open a notebook and starting jotting stuff down to hopefully keep it in my memory. So, that's a major development. I've started studying about two months earlier than I did last time. Hopefully that's a good sign.

Of course, it didn't last long. I wanted to check in on Lost to make sure it was a repeat. It was, but I still flipped back and forth between that and the World Poker Tour. Today's episode of Lost featured the Mama Cass song again (anyone that watches it should know what I'm talking about). It always gets stuck in my head. So, it'll be there now for several weeks, going on in the background, "Make your own kind of music....."

I think I'm starting to have withdrawals of poker. The meteo department hasn't had a poker night in ages. I'd host one, but even with as large an apartment as I have now, it doesn't really seem big enough to hold two tables of six to eight people. We'll see, though. Maybe one day I will. I've been so eager to play that I signed onto Party Poker this afternoon and played in a couple single table tournaments. The first one I came in 7th on. My downfall in that one was losing to a higher full house. The second one I came in 2nd, so that totally made up for it. The one hand I clearly remember was that I had A/Q in the hole and the flop came A/A/Q. That hardly ever happens for me. I was quite excited. The last tournament I played took a rather long time, too. I think about an hour. Most of the time it was the last four of us, none of which wanted to be fourth because there's no money gained for that. But it was definitely fun.

On that note, I should probably get to sleep soon. It's going on 11:30 and I'm getting sleepy. Plus tomorrow is a slightly busy day, capped off with colloquium, so I should try to be refreshed tomorrow. Otherwise I'll probably fall asleep during the talk, and that wouldn't be a good thing.

I Wish I Had a Camera...

I usually don't write any posts while I'm at work, but I had to today. Let the record show that today, October 25, 2005, brought State College it's first snowfall of the season. This is the kind of weather I'm used to, having snow before Halloween, being from Wisconsin and all. OK, that's all. I better get back to doing something slightly more productive than this.

Small Update

OK, I know I don't typically post more than once a day, nor more than once an hour, but I had to make an update. I've decided to turn on word verification for comments because just a minute after I posted my last entry, I got a spam comment. Grrrrr. So, for those of you that may comment, it's just a little annoyance for you, but I'd rather have real people comment on my blog.

That's definitely my last gripe for the night. Yeah, I lied in my last entry, but things come up. But, I'm definitely done now, and I'm stepping off the soap box.

A Minor Improvement

It's been a while since I last posted, mainly because I wanted to wait until I was at least partially out of the major funk I've been in for the past two weeks. Now, I feel like I've risen a bit, emotion-wise. It's a nice feeling to not feel a sense of doom and gloom, and to have some moments of lightness. That is something I've really some to cherish lately.

Part of the reason I think the funk is lifting is that the drugs I'm on from the doctor are finally kicking in. I'm on a muscle relaxant which I take at the onset of a headache and a small dose of an anti-depressant that is also used for tension/migraine headaches. For a while there, I was never sure when to take the muscle relaxant because there was really no "offset" of the headache, and thus there was no onset either. It was just a constant thing. Now, it's finally become a little transient. Either it completely goes away for short periods of time, or it lessens enough so that I can actually feel like not just having my head down all the time.

Another part of the reason I'm feeling a little better is that I'm going to a psychiatrist as well as a therapist. Actually, I haven't started seeing the psychiatrist yet. I don't get to see him until the beginning of November, which is the earliest opening any of the doctors I've called has had. One of them didn't have an opening until next year. Apparently, a lot of people, myself included, need shrinking in State College. So, hopefully once I've found the right anti-depressant, I'll feel even better. This is unusual for me to be optimistic. It's kind of a nice feeling.

The final part of why I think I'm feeling a bit better is that I wrote to my long-time pen pal with basically a novella of why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. I think it helped to get some stuff off my chest. And, nice that he is, he wrote back to me fairly soon after I sent him the email. It was really great to be able to share everything with someone, even if it wasn't "in person." And he shared back, which was great too. I've yet to write back to him, because I haven't really had the time to write another long-winded email. But I will at some point. That's a promise.

So, anyway, things are slowly looking up for me, which is a good thing after the past couple of weeks, believe me.

Now on Friday, I get to go see an ophthalmologist (an incredibly hard word to spell). The good part of that is that I don't have to be in the office that day. The bad part is just going. The eye doctor has never really been one of my favorite things in the world. The worst part of an eye exam is the puff test for glaucoma. I don't know what sadist came up with that test. I'm just not a big fan of that. And all the drops that get put in my eyes are annoying too. I'm not really good with eye drops at all, but if the person does it right it's not so bad. Anyway, the reason I'm going there is that I have this brown spot on my retina that the optometrist I originally went to wants to get checked out just to make sure it's nothing bad. This means my eyes get dilated, which is so much fun. That means that I should really get someone to drive me to Altoona, but I think that may be hard because most people aren't completely free on Fridays like I am. So, I'll probably end up driving myself. Luckily, though, my friend from undergrad, Ingrid, is coming up to visit me this weekend, so she's going to meet me in Altoona and kill time with me until my eyes are good enough to drive back here. If I can find someone who is free on Friday and doesn't mind just driving me down and going back, that would be great. Then when Ingrid gets there, she can just drive me back to State College. I don't think it's going to work out, and it's not really a big deal either.

On another note, I've finally officially submitted my abstract to the Ocean Science meeting in February 2006. If it gets accepted, I'll be going to Hawaii four months from tomorrow! Writing the abstract was quite difficult, because I don't know exactly how far I'll get with my research at that point. I hope I left it vague enough to cover all my bases. And I really hope it gets accepted to the meeting. It would be so cool to go to Hawaii in February. My advisor even encouraged me to stay there the whole week of the meeting, even if I don't attend sessions every day. It is a rather big trip, so it doesn't pay to rush back. Plus, I'll want to do some sightseeing. Hell, I may not want to come back after experiencing temperatures like that.

Another thing of note. Three weeks from today I turn 26. I always enjoy my birthday. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to celebrate this year. The past couple of years, I've invited people over for dinner, but most of my friends that I usually invited are either gone or I never see them anymore even if they are here. So, we'll see. That's something more I have to think about.

That same day is the next new episode of Lost. I'm not sure why they are taking a couple weeks off from it, but the next new episode should be really good. One of the castaways will die. And since I've become such a spoiler addict, I already know who it is. But I won't say here in case anyone that reads this blog wants to be spoiler free. I also know that the person that dies is killed by another of the castaways. So, it should be an exciting episode. And on my birthday, no less.

Speaking of TV, I have to gripe about one of the shows I watch. Last night on Supernatural, they had an episode dealing with a shapeshifter. Now, usually, I look forward to shapeshifter stories in any form, because it's such an intriguing concept. Imagine being able to be anyone you wanted to be. Doesn't that sound cool? But, I digress. So, I was looking forward to this episode of Supernatural. However, after it, I was left a little disappointed. Some plot points were really stupid. For example, (I'm sorry for those of you that don't watch the show, but I have to gripe) after Sam and Dean figured out that a shapeshifter was assuming forms of people in town and killing their loved ones, they go chasing after it. That's fine. So, the find its lair and discover it there. It goes running off faster than they can get out of its sewer lair. I'm also fine with that. However, once they get out of the sewer, they decide to split up. This is where I'm having a major problem with the plot. First of all, they're chasing a shapeshifter, so splitting up is kind of dumb when the thing they're chasing can look like either one of them and they wouldn't know it. Second, they've been asking us to believe for the run of the series so far that Sam and Dean have had loads of experience with The Things That Go Bump In The Night. So, you'd think that they should know better than this, wouldn't you? That was the main thing I didn't like about the episode, which pretty much ruined it for me. A more minor thing came at the end of the episode. Sam trapped by the shapeshifter in Dean's form. Then of course, Dean comes in and shoots it with a silver bullet and it dies. It would have been more climatic, for me, if the shapeshifter had taken Sam's form so Dean wouldn't know right away who to kill. But, I'm not the writer. I could have done a better job with the plot, though. Just my opinion.

Still on the subject of TV, I've recently discovered that Night Stalker may be on the chopping block. I'm really saddened by that, because it's such a good show. I typically haven't been a huge fan of the spooky type movies, but this show has sort of changed my mind. It's really creepy, but not so much in a gory way. It's more of a psychological creepy. And every week it's getting better. This is why I'm a little disappointed that it could be canceled. Still, in a way, it's not all that surprising. The brilliant people at ABC decide to put it in the same time slot as CSI. If that's not a way to kill a show, I don't know what is. I don't know what time slot they'd have open for it otherwise, but that's not a time slot to put a new show in. Of course, ABC doesn't really have any well-established shows. It does have quite a few new-ish shows that are really popular (all of which I watch), but I don't even think any of those would have a chance in hell against CSI. It will disappoint me if Night Stalker does get canceled. But, there's really nothing I can do about that.

Well, I suppose I should get going for now. It's after 11 now, and I'm getting sleepy. And I've gotten my gripes out for the time being. It's nice to have the energy to gripe about unimportant things. It's definitely a sign I'm out of my major funk, which is most definitely a good thing. And it's a good note to end on, so there you have it.

Untitled entry

There was no poker tonight, so since I have a little time, I decided to write an entry in here. I don't exactly have a plan on what to put in this entry this time, so I'm just winging it.

I've been in one of my more down periods lately, especially this week. All week I've had the hardest time even wanting to get out of bed in the morning. I'm not sure if it's because I haven't been sleeping well or what. It doesn't help that I have had this damn tension headache for ages now. I think it might be affecting my sleep in some way that I can't quite understand. The only time my head feels somewhat good is when I'm sleeping. But maybe it's just because I'm unconscious and don't notice it as much. I just don't know. I'm going back to the doctor on Friday to see what he says now. I'm really not sure if anything more can be done. I'm just petrified that it's something more than just a tension headache. But we'll see what happens.

Therapy today was interesting. I've been mentioning the constant headaches to Kim for the past several sessions now, and she brought up the idea of seeing a psychiatrist and getting me on some meds. When I first started therapy, I wasn't sure that would be such a great idea. OK, that's not exactly true. I didn't think I needed to be on medication when I first started therapy. But now, my opinion has changed a bit. I figure that all it can do is help. I'm ready to do just about anything to make myself feel better both physically and mentally. With the candidacy exam still looming over me and keeping up with research and classes on the school side, to working through my own personal demons from the past in therapy, lots of thing are ganging up on me, which is probably why I'm so tense and get these headaches.

Besides that, nothing is new in my life. I get up, go to campus, attempt to do something productive, come home, eat, relax, and go to bed. Such an exciting life I have, don't I? And I guess that's it for this entry. Not much to it this time, but that's because I'm a little sleepy, and I can't think of anything more to write.

Statistic: 1 in 6 comment-writers will be a human

Since I have some time today and I'm feeling incredibly unmotivated to do much of anything, I decided to post another entry. I know, it's a miracle that I'm posting more than once in a week! I can't believe it either.

Yesterday I had my eye exam at LensCrafters in Altoona. Since I've been having these persistent headaches, I figured it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get my eyes checked. Plus, it may help me figure out why I've been having these headaches constantly for over two weeks now. It turns out that my prescription changed by the tiniest of margins, and the optometrist said that it probably wouldn't be very useful to change my lenses. She also wants me to see an ophthalmologist because I have a brown spot on my retina that's been there at least since two years ago (the last time I visited the eye doctor). It hasn't grown at all, so that's good news. But she just wants to have it rechecked just to be sure that isn't the cause of my headaches. I don't think it is if it's been there for such a long time and my headaches just started, but I guess it won't hurt to have it checked. I just hope I can find someone that takes my insurance, because that appointment is going to be expensive.

While I was in Altoona yesterday I met up with Ingrid. It's always fun to see her and chat. I'm actually surprised that I've kept up a friendship with her all these years since I met her my sophomore year of undergrad. I usually can't keep friendships going for that long because people move away. I'm glad we keep in touch though. We have lots in common, too, from watching the same tv shows to having similar political ideologies. So, we usually have lots to chat about. We spent a bit of time chatting about the shows we watch, since it's the month of premieres. We also talked a bit about politics; most of the time was spent Bush bashing, mainly because that seems to be so easy to do. All in all, it was a very nice visit.

I also went to see a movie with her yesterday, since that seems to be a tradition for us. We saw Just Like Heaven. Yeah, I know it's a chick flick, but most people that know me should know that I'm a softy. It was actually a lot funnier than I thought it was going to be. I was literally laughing out loud for a good chunk of the movie. I'd definitely recommend it.

During the half hour of previews and commercials before the movie (OK, I might be exaggerating by just a little, but I don't think it can be by that much) there was a commercial for Lost. That was one commercial I didn't mind. And I think that show would be amazing to see on the big screen. It's already impressive just on TV, but to be able to see it larger than life would be so cool. The surround sound would be great too. The only other thing that I saw in the pre-show entertainment is a movie with Uma Thurman and Meryl Streep that looks quite funny. I can't remember what the name of the movie is, but it looks like it has a good premise. I'd be tempted to see that one, if I remembered its name when it comes out.

At the doctor's appointment on Friday, the cause of my headaches could still not be determined exactly. He still thinks it's a tension headache, which really isn't all that surprising. So, now I'm on a muscle relaxant and a small dosage of an anti-depressant to see if that doesn't get rid of the headaches. The muscle relaxant seems to be sort of working. I don't notice the headache as often anymore. So, hopefully this will continue.

Last week there was the career fair at the Bryce Jordan Center. It's a nice thing to have available to the general student population, but it got kind of annoying. This was mainly because in order to get a decent parking spot, one would either have to get to the BJC before 9am (which I really have trouble with) or drive around for ten minutes waiting for a spot to open up. So, I'd usually have to park pretty far from where I'd like. It really didn't help on Wednesday because they close off one entire line of parking spots for the quarterback club, or something else equally annoying. That day was especially hard to find a decent spot.

The one nice thing about Career Fair last week is that there were plenty of people all dressed up walking around. I always find that people in general are very attractive when they're dressed up. Even people I wouldn't necessarily find attractive in ordinary circumstance tend to become more attractive to me when they are dressed up. In my opinion, there's nothing hotter than a well-dressed man. And there were plenty around campus last week to turn my head. And Thursday most of the ROTC students were in dress uniforms, which is also somewhat of a turn-on, for the same reason as being in a suit and tie. It's the same type of look.

Speaking of ROTC, the Marine Corps ROTC was having a car wash at the McDonald's on North Atherton today, and believe me, I was incredibly tempted to go and have my car washed by them. However, common sense took over in me, because it's supposed to rain tomorrow and Tuesday. I figured it would be a waste of a car wash if I had it done today. Plus, I was getting really hungry after I got done grocery shopping, so I needed to get home.

At some point I really need to get motivation to do stuff while I'm at home besides watching tv and playing on the internet. I do have to start studying for the candidacy exam, and I'd like to do some work at home every once in a while. I just can't seem to find the motivation. I have a feeling I know why that is, and I've covered it in therapy, but it's too long a description to go through in this entry. Perhaps in a future entry I'll go into more detail about it. A small part of my lack of motivation is the constant headache I have. It's hard to focus on anything when you're in pain.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Tonight is more season premiere tv for me. Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy start their new seasons tonight, so I'm going to be camped out in front of my tv for two hours tonight. I swear I'm addicted to too many shows. But I can't help it. I love escaping into these shows. They definitely beat reality.

I guess that's it for this entry, since it's getting to be pretty long. But one thing before I stop. I know in my last entry I encouraged comments. Well, of the six comments I got, only one was from an actual human being (props for Karen). So, I will still encourage comments, but if I get more spam comments, I may start having to use word verification whenever anyone comments. We'll see, though. Maybe I'll be surprised this time.

Anyway, it's definitely time to finish this entry. More will come at some point. Maybe I'll surprise myself and write another one in a couple days. Don't count on it, but it could happen!

Bush, Hurricanes, and TV

Well, I finally have a bit of time and lots of things to write about (some frivolous, other not so much), so I think now is as good a time as any to do it.

Where should I start? I'll start first with a wonderful picture I "borrowed" from Karen's journal. I know it's a little late, and it should be filed with my last entry, but I didn't feel like editing that one, and it's too good a picture not to have in my blog anywhere. So, here goes. It's from http://www.dailykos.com. It's the banner on the bottom that's funniest. I'd say that pretty much sums up our president.

One more picture to show. This one I found one day while I was bored at work. I was looking at the NHC website (see sidebar for link) and I found out that there were three hurricanes right in a row in the eastern Pacific Ocean. That's pretty cool, and I don't think it happens very often. Here's that image from Tuesday. There's Jova on the far left, Kenneth on the far right, and in the middle is Max. I think that Kenneth is now a tropical storm and Max is a tropical depression, so this image is probably when those two were at their peaks. Hurricanes in the Pacific don't seem to last as long as they do in the Atlantic, nor do they seem to get as strong. Part of that reasoning could be that we don't really hear about hurricanes in the Pacific that often. I also think that the Pacific tends to be cooler, which tends to keep hurricanes from gaining too much energy.

Now there's Rita in the Gulf. I feel quite bad for those people that just evacuated from New Orleans and the surrounding towns and parishes. They moved over to Houston, and probably some other parts of Texas, and now they have another hurricane aiming at them. I'd be surprised if these people wanted to move back to the shoreline anytime soon.

On to some more frivolous things, like TV. Fall TV is here! I always enjoy when all of my favorite shows return. Last week, this week, and next week all have season premieres on of shows that I watch regularly (some of which I'm borderline obsessed with). Gilmore Girls season premiere was last week, which is pretty early for a WB show. The season premiere was so great, with Luke saying yes to Lorelai's proposal, and the whole town finding out about it. Some of the funniest moments came from Miss Patty and Babette. Whenever characters in the town get involved in things, hilarity ensues. The only thing I don't like is the way that Rory is acting. She doesn't seem like Rory lately. I'm sure that will change, but it's a little frustrating right now. Although, I knew her and Lorelai's relationship couldn't stay the way it was forever. Relationships change, both on TV and in real life.

Let's see. What else? I watched the season premiere of Lost tonight. I had to tape it last night because I went to play poker. It was pretty good. We finally find out what's in the hatch. For anyone that might stumble upon this blog and actually watch Lost, but haven't yet seen the premiere, I won't reveal anything. However, it seems that with every question that gets answered on that show, three more present themselves. But, it keeps you hooked, which is a sign of good writing and a great show.

I also watched the season premiere of Arrested Development on Monday. (If you haven't been able to tell, I'm addicted to TV.) I haven't watched this show as regularly as I could have, because it keeps switching time slots. It has got to be one of the funniest comedies I've seen. I've only watched an episode here and there, but after this season's premiere, I think I'm going to have to make it a point to watch. The humor is very quick-paced, so you need to be sharp to keep up with it. But if you can, it's really great. I can see why it keeps winning Emmys.

Speaking of which (I needed to segue into this subject somehow), I watched the Emmys last Sunday as well. First of all, I'm glad Lost won best drama, because it is one of the better dramas I've seen in recent years, at least on a major network. I'm a little disappointed Desperate Housewives didn't win best comedy, but not entirely surprised because I don't really consider Desperate Housewives to be a comedy. But I thought of any of the other shows that were nominated, either Scrubs (which is seriously overlooked) or Arrested Development should have won. Not Everybody Loves Raymond. It's an ok show, but I don't think it's the best comedy around. But, that's just my opinion.

Also, I still don't understand why Gilmore Girls can never get nominated for an Emmy. I realize that it's on the WB, and because of that doesn't get a lot of viewership. However, it is, in my opinion, one of the best written shows on TV. And Lauren Graham is one of the most talented actresses on any show. But, they keep getting overlooked. And then they have Lauren Graham present at the Emmys this year. What a slap in the face! But, there's nothing that can be done about that.

OK, enough about TV. I really should stop writing for now since I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 8:45 am. I'm not too pleased about that, but it's the only slot that was available to see the same doctor I saw last week. I've had this persistent headache that just doesn't seem to want to go away. So, hopefully tomorrow the doctor can figure something out besides it being a tension headache. I also have an eye appointment on Saturday, just to see if it's because I need a new prescription for my glasses. So, hopefully one of these two appointments will solve my problem.

Before I stop, I'd like to invite anyone that reads this blog to leave a comment and tell me how you stumbled upon it, unless you got it from my IM profile. I'd like to know if anyone out there is reading this. I also put up some link to other blogs/journals of friends (although one of the blogs is just a random one I came across that is written quite well and tends to be pretty funny) and some other links to other common websites that I visit occasionally. I guess that's it for now. It's definitely time to start thinking about going to bed.

Katrina Part II: Bush Bashing

It's been a week since Katrina first made landfall. I've pretty much been keeping track of the news of this disaster since it first happened. Before I get into writing this entry, I should probably start with some warnings to those that might read this entry. First, to any Bush lover who might read this, you'll probably become pretty upset with what I have to say. If you really feel like flaming me, go ahead, but if you do submit nasty comments, I'm probably going to ignore them, unless they are well thought out. And I'll be the first to admit that I was never a Bush supporter and never will be. Most of my rants on how he handled this would be the same if it were a Democrat in office, or an independent, or any other third party that has some slim shot at getting elected. Second, this entry may contain some expletives. I'm not sure how nice and civil I'm willing to be with all that's gone on. I think that's about it for now. On to the entry....

Obviously I'm incredibly enraged by the response of most people in charge in this disaster. Now, this isn't only about Bush, although he does carry most of the blame in my opinion. I'll start with the people in charge in Louisiana. (Yes, this entry is going to be mainly about New Orleans because that's what's been focused on in the news lately.) They do carry some of the blame. They should have done anything within their power to do what needed to be done before the storm hit. Use school buses and any other means of mass transportation to get people evacuated who have NO other means to get out of the city. If nothing else, you can at least make sure the shelter you're sending these people to has an adequate amount of food and water available for people to use for a decent amount of time. They didn't even do that much. However, after the hurricane struck and devastated a large chunk of the Gulf coast, I think the local people in charge were doing everything in their power to help people out.

Now on to the Bush rant. While the people on the local and state level were trying to cope with the tremendous disaster they had on their hands, where was Bush? Our "fearless leader" was on a five-week (!) vacation at his ranch. Five weeks?? I realize that running the country must be a very difficult job, and I certainly would not want to do it myself. But it does seem like Bush is on vacation more often than he is working. I mean, really, how many average people in America actually have at least five weeks of vacation a year? I'm guessing very few. And of these people, can they take all their weeks of vacation at once? Probably not. But that's beside the point. It seems that every time there is some sort of crisis in the world or right here at home, Bush seems to be at his damn ranch in Texas. And this was no exception.

And where the hell is Cheney through all of this? I haven't heard his name in a while. My guess is that he's at some undisclosed location so no one can find him.

So, anyway, Bushie's on vacation for fours weeks prior to Katrina's landfall. Then he waits an extra two days after the landfall to say, "Oh, I guess I should cut my vacation short and help the country I was elected to run." Yes, he cut his vacation short by two days. Two?! That's it? If I were him, and I'm glad I'm not because I don't need that kind of stress, I would have been on a plane back to the White House a couple days before the hurricane hit. Especially since it was pretty obvious to just about anyone that the hurricane was actually going to make landfall somewhere along the Gulf. I mean, it barely passed over Florida and was continually gaining strength. And I know that hurricane predictions aren't always the most accurate, but most of the time the hurricane does move within its "cone of error." So, it shouldn't have been surprising that the hurricane was heading towards the Gulf coast. And it was a category five hurricane up until nearly landfall. I know that what the different categories mean is not exactly clear to everyone (hell, I'm not really sure what the difference is between a cat 4 and a cat 5, except the winds are stronger in a cat 5) but considering it was at the highest level it could go on the Saffir-Simpson scale, most people had to know it was going to be a devastating hurricane.

Our fearless leader then flies over the scarred area just to see what kind of devastation really occurred. Well, that's nice, especially days after the hurricane hit. Then he has the audacity to say that the results going on are "not acceptable." Really. Like we couldn't see that from the beginning. That's like the pot calling the kettle black. He spends an extra two days on vacation while there are people (most of them probably his supporters, perhaps until now) starving, drowning, and all other sorts of nasty ways to die. And he basically says things aren't getting done. What I would have done is the following. I know the storm is going to hit somewhere along the Gulf. I'd have units sent out to strategic locations with food, water, medicine, and the means to get any people that didn't evacuate out of town. These locations would be far enough away so they wouldn't be affected by the full force of Katrina, but close enough that they could get to the devastated areas within a day. And I wouldn't mind if I were stepping on the toes of the people in charge at the local and state level. Things needed to be done and done quickly. At the least, I'd work with them right away and tell them my plans. It just seems like such an obvious thing to do.

So, the results are "not acceptable." What does Bush do from here? He says he's going down to the coast to have a walking tour and see the devastation for himself. While that sounds all nice and everything, really, I think it's detracting from what could be going on. First of all, he'd need some security while he's down there, since, by that time, things have already started to descend into anarchy. So, that's taking away from what security is already there trying to keep the peace. Second, does he really need a first hand look at how bad everything is there before he starts sending in troops and supplies for the survivors? I don't think so. Third, I really think the only reason he went down to MS, AL, and LA is to show people that he's a "caring" person, and to get a few photo ops in. I saw some of his press conference in Biloxi on Friday because that pre-empted my soap for a bit. I don't know if it's just because I've never liked Bush, but I could have sworn that while he was talking about all the work that needs to be done, he had some sort of weird smirk or something on his face. He just didn't look sincere. At least not to me. I'm sure Bush supporters will disagree to no end on this point.

Also, courtesy of "Wait, wait, don't tell me" on NPR, I heard quite the doozy of a quote from our fearless leader. He said, "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees." Really? How can he possibly say that? I've heard studies say that the levees would only withstand a category three storm. Obviously Katrina was a little bit stronger than that. I've also heard that some of the money going into studying the levee system was diverted away from that for some reason or another. (I'm sure the Iraq war had something to do with it.) So, really, it shouldn't have been a surprise to him, or anyone really. Everyone should have expected something like this would happen at some point. I realize that it is usually people's inclination to procrastinate to no end (I'm no exception), but New Orlean is below sea level. Surely a city as big and prominent and full of history as this one should have some sort better protection from flooding. I mean, the levees are made of dirt! I would think a stronger material is in order. Plus, the fact that they are only built to withstand a moderate strength storm is just laughable. Granted, category 4's and 5's don't happen that often, but often enough to warrant some extra protection, I'd think. But, no, the government doesn't want to spend money on things like protecting cities from natural disasters. Terrorism is the big concern lately.

While terrorism is something important to be concerned about, I think our country's welfare is also equally important. We have so many troops in Iraq and all around the world taking care of other country's problems that it doesn't seem like we have enough here in our own country to take care of ourselves. Now, this isn't just a Bush thing either, but he seems to be a big culprit recently, with this seemingly unending (with no plan for an exit) war in Iraq. I'm not even qualifying it as a war on terror, because I can't justify it as being a war on terror from the beginning. Now it may be with all the anti-American sentiment in Iraq. But I'm getting off topic here. The point is that there aren't enough troops, seemingly, in America to have responded in a quick fashion to the devastation from Katrina, no matter what Bush seems to think. Part of his news conference on ABC last week was directed at how many troops are in Iraq, and Bush basically said that we can handle it here even with the smaller number of troops here. Whatever.

I've heard from one of my friends that Bush has a 46% approval rating on how he's handling things with regards to Katrina. And he has a 47% disapproval rating. (Apparently 7% of people either don't care, can't decide, or live under rocks somewhere and have no idea what's going on.) Frankly, I'm surprised that it's that high.

It seems to me that we could relate this disaster to a terrorist attack. I mean, isn't this the type of this the Department of Homeland Security was preparing for. Well, I guess not exactly the type of thing, since it didn't come from Osama. However, this does show how woefully underprepared we are for this kind of disaster. Honestly, I'm quite afraid of what would happen if there was another terrorist attack, God forbid. Since we can't seem to respond to a hurricane in a reasonable amount of time, I'm really worried.

I truly think that as soon as this disaster is cleaned up that there should be some sort of ramifications on Bush and his administration. I'm thinking on the order of impeachment. It seems necessary to get him the hell out of office. (And this isn't just coming from me because I've never liked him. I'd feel the same way if it were a Democrat.) People get fired all the time for gross incompetence. Why not the President too? Clinton almost got impeached because he had an affair. Bush has had hundreds more people die on his watch that could have been avoided. I don't think anything is going to happen to him though. He'll remain in office for another three years. He is the morals president after all. That's why he remained in office, even though I value honestly pretty highly as a moral, and he doesn't seem to care if he's lying to people.

OK, I guess I should get off my soapbox for now. I just had to rant about what's happening. Things could have been handled so much better, but they weren't and people who could have survived this tragedy have died because of the lack of quick response on the federal level. I know as soon as the devastation has cleared up sufficiently, the blame game will start (it already has) and Bush will probably worm his way out of this scrape too. I find unnecessary death unacceptable, and at the moment, I find Bush and his administration unacceptable as well.

It starts....

Well, the semester has officially begun. I'm not sure how to feel about that. Mostly, I'm a little bummed. I absolutely love summers in State College. You can walk around campus without feeling overly claustrophobic. If you want to go to a bar (which I only occasionally do), you can easily find someplace to sit and you can talk with whomever you went with without feeling like your shouting to make yourself heard. And you can get on any loop or link and not have to worry about it being overcrowded.

However, with the passing of time, summers end and the fall semester begins. Now all the undergrads are back on campus and some of them are being a bit more stupid than I thought they were. For example, I was on the bus this afternoon heading back to my car in the BJC lot. I got on at College and Allen, which is typically what I do on days that I have therapy. And already the buses are starting to run slow. (Not even two days into the frickin' semester....) So, the blue loop was pretty crowded because people are scared to walk very far in the rain, I guess. I'm included in that, but I have a lot farther to go than most of the people taking the bus. Anyway, I'm sort of digressing here. Apparently today was being an idiot day on the bus. First, someone didn't pull the cord until we were right at the stop he wanted to get off at, which I can accept if he's new here. Then, a few stops later, someone else decides to sneak in the back doors of the bus, even though it's relatively clearly labeled that people shouldn't enter that way. The bus driver did call him on it, which was gratifying to me. Last, there was this group of three Asian people near the back door just yammering on like there was no tomorrow. The bus driver repeatedly goes on the intercom to tell people to move to the back of the bus. But do they move? Nope! All they do is squeeze in closer to the back door. It's not that hard to move up a couple steps and get closer to the back of the bus, but people in general don't seem to get that concept. I swear, some people should just have the word "moron" tattooed on their forehead so the rest of us can avoid them when possible.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of in ranting mode today.

I've come to the conclusion recently that people who have really loud bass in their cars should, at the very least, be smacked upside the head repeatedly. I concluded this while I was at home a couple weeks ago for a mini-vacation. Now, granted, our house isn't exactly new, so a little noise getting in is to be expected. Plus, we live on a somewhat busy street. So I can totally expect noise to occur. And I'm fine with that. However, on numerous occasions a car would go zooming down the street with bass blaring out of the car so loud that our house would rattle. Is there really any necessity for that? It just doesn't make sense. Plus, most of the time, the cars that have loud bass are either old, poorly made, or falling apart, so as the car goes past, the bass doesn't even sound from the outside, and I can only assume that it doesn't sound good on the inside either. Of course, these same people are probably half-deaf so it doesn't make a difference to them. I just find it incredibly annoying. Very few cars are built decently enough to support a sound system that can pump out that much bass. Plus, I don't think there is any excuse for people to deem it necessary to share what they're listening to in their car with the rest of the outside world. But, that is just my opinion.

One more rant before going on. So, I'm trying to get people organized for the upcoming candidacy exam, which I'm still bitter I have to retake completely, but I'll just have to get over that. Anyway, I'm trying to set a time for anyone who's interested in studying as a group to get together to organize when/where to meet. Plus, I also want to discuss the possibility of getting the exam moved to before Christmas rather than after. So, trying to find a time to meet this week yet is hard enough when working around nine different schedules. What makes it tougher is when several people don't send me what times they are free. So, I have limited data to go on there. That's part a of this rant. Part b is that one person didn't respond to my original email that I sent out to all of the grad students. This person was writing to a different person who has the same first and last initials as me, but a different middle initial, and therefore, a different email address. So, he comes in to tell me that I didn't put him on the list. Well, I told him that I hadn't gotten any emails from him, and he didn't believe me. So I bring up my email and show him, and he wants to look at all the different names I've gotten email from before he believes me. Then he tells me that he's been sending it to someone else. How does someone do that? I mean, whenever I want to respond to someone's email, I hit "reply" and type away. So, that made me a little upset today. Usually I can tolerate other people's blonde moments, especially since I have them quite often, but today I just was in no mood for it. Part c (yes, this is a rant of many parts) is that I decided on a time that I thought would work for most everyone, and it turns out the first time I had proposed worked better. Of course, this goes back to part a. I had limited data to work with, so I had to make do with what I had. I eventually decided to go back to the original time I had proposed because it worked for more people. So, hopefully everyone will show up.

Now on to other things....

As one of my previous entries stated, last week I played poker with a group of meteo grads and other people. Apparently lady luck was hovering over me because I actually won!!! I was utterly shocked by it. By the time we got the group pared down to five people I had half of the chips in play. So, I knew that unless I made a huge mistake, I should still wind up in the money. How I got most of those chips is really quite impressive. I had pocket aces and Chuck had ace/queen, I think. I was slowplaying my aces. How could I not? I didn't want to scare anyone out of the pot. So, the flop has an ace in it. I make a modest bet and Chuck goes all in. I do a little acting and look at my hole cards again, and then call. Needless to say, Chuck was shocked by what I had, and I won the hand. So, I was impressed with that bit of skill I had. I was actually playing really well. I even had some pretty good reads on people, which I usually don't have. So, I'm happy with my performance.

Other than that, not much else is new. I'm going to Uniontown this weekend to see Ingrid and to get out of State College for a while. I don't foresee that happening anytime in the near future, so I might as well take advantage of it while I can. I'm not sure yet what we're doing, but even if it's not much, it'll still be fun.

Today I had therapy. It was a rough one today. I hate the slowness of the healing process. While it's true that I have a lot of issues to work through, sometimes I wish there was just a magic pill that would make it all better. And I'm not talking about anti-depressants. Those might help, but they're not a cure. It would definitely only be a band-aid for me. At least recently, I can actually start working on the hard stuff, issues dealing with my father and everything that's happened in the past five or so years. Well, actually my entire life, but it completely changed about five years ago. It's going to be a rough going, but hopefully I'll make it through. I just get tired of going at it basically on my own. I haven't told most of my friends about it because I really don't want to burden them and because it would take so damn long to go through my life story. Eventually, maybe I'll tell some people, just so I don't have to support myself through it, becuase I get tired of supporting myself. It's really quite exhausting. Of course, today, I comforted myself with a chocolate shake from Irving's, so I'm feeling a little better now. That may be just a sugar rush, though.

Anyway, I have lots to think about/brood over from my session today, which is why I'm glad I've arranged it so that I can just go home right after therapy. I definitely don't think I could have handled going back to the office today after my session. It would have been way too hard.

Well, I suppose I should be off now. I've been writing in here for long enough. I should really go get some food because I feel the sugar rush starting to subside. Besides this entry is getting to be way too long the way it is. I really shouldn't save stuff to write about for so long. But time just doesn't always allow for me to write entries. So, I make do with what I have. On that note, I really must be off so I can eat!