High Anxiety

The first part of the candidacy exam is tomorrow. And I'm really starting to get worried about it, hence the title of today's entry. I don't know if I'm prepared enough for it, or even if I'm studying the right things to be studying. It's hard to determine that, since the exam can cover anything from the four core classes in the meteorology department, plus things you may have picked up along the way, like synoptic meteorology, turbulence, or radar met even. I think I've pretty much stopped studying for the night, though. I figure that whatever I don't know by now, I'm not going to learn in the few hours I have until I go to bed. Plus, I need some downtime tonight to hopefully relax myself enough so that I'll be able to sleep tonight. I think there's a relatively high probability that my sleep tonight won't be all that great. Call it a hunch.

After all, this is the biggest exam I've ever taken in my life. And I've devoted a lot of my energy of the past two weeks to really crack down and study for it. I just hope all the effort I've put in with studying and being a TA for Meteo 422 actually pays off and I at the very least pass one section of the exam. It doesn't help that my outlook on it varies by the hour (if it's even that long). Sometimes I'll feel like there's no way I can pass this thing. Other times I feel like I have half a chance of passing. I don't think I've ever felt incredibly confident, though, which I guess is a good thing. The times I've felt really confident going to an exam, especially in graduate school, ended up with me doing much much worse than I had thought I did. So, going in feeling scared, nervous, maybe even petrified, is probably a good thing.

I'm just hoping that when I get the exam there is at least one question I feel relatively confident I can do a decent job writing up. Preferably three questions, but I'm not going to be too greedy. I just want one that I know enough about to give me a little confidence boost. That, however, may be too much to ask. (I'm a major pessimist, if you haven't been able to tell.)

No matter what, though, after tomorrow, I have to continue studying for the second section of the exam. Isn't that wonderful?! And that, I think, is going to be the harder part for me, unless a lot of the questions focus on cloud physics. Tomorrow's section, dynamics, I have a slightly better grasp on, mainly because of being a TA for it. And I never, ever thought I'd say that, considering that after my first year here, I had just a fingernail's grasp on dynamics because I had a really crappy teacher for GFD. Because of that, I think my grasp on dynamic meteorology was in serious peril.

Cloud physics, however, made me feel a bit better. I actually could do well in that class. That's because Dr. Harrington could actually teach, and the problem sets were incredible in helping us to learn the material, which is what problem sets should do. I think another part of the reason I did well in that class was that I didn't feel like I couldn't go to the professor for help. He was always incredibly willing to help students understand the material.

So, hopefully there will be enough focus on cloud physics on part two of the exam to make me feel like I can make a reasonable attempt at passing that section as well. We'll see what happens on Wednesday.

One part of a conversation I was having this morning did make me feel a bit better about this exam. Someone has said that no matter what happens with the exam, at this point, I'm the most knowledgeable about meteorology that I'll ever be. It's a good thing to feel, I guess, even though I really don't feel that way. I don't feel very confident in myself, which is not highly unusual. But this is how I usually go into tests. I don't feel confident, even after I've taken the test. I think that way I don't get too disappointed when I get the exam back.

Anyway, this test has been consuming my life lately, and thus it's consuming my blog as well.

I'll say one thing, though. After Wednesday, life is going to be so much better! I'll be just vegging out most of the night, and packing to get ready for a nice long vacation. I'm leaving on Thursday afternoon for Uniontown to visit Ingrid and her family (and possibly see the new Star Wars movie). Then I'll leave there Friday afternoon/evening to head to a hotel near the airport in Pittsburgh because I have an early (really early) morning flight home, where I'm going to stay for two whole weeks. The first of those weeks I'm probably not going to be able to do anything more mentally stimulating than watch TV probably, or maybe read a book, but other than that, I'm not doing much of anything. I'm really looking forward to it, especially after this marathon of studying and prepping for the exam.

With that, I think I'm off for the night. I'll hopefully write something in this Wednesday night after the exam is over. I already have the title of the entry in my head, and it will fit the theme I've developed for the past few entries. But, if it doesn't happen, maybe it will while I'm at home. We'll see. For now, I'm going to relax for a bit and let all the information crammed in my head sink in a bit, and hopefully get a good night's sleep. Here's hoping I do well on the exam!!